All Comments on 'The Pasture in Space'

Well written, but not sure I need any more fear about where society is heading

This was dark, twisted, and not so much erotic as horrific. I think that it would be better in that category, erotic horror, than sci/fi. The dystopian society is one thing, but the overwhelming amount of demoralizing rhetoric is what has me not enjoying this tale as much as I would like. I can see that you have the men in a constant state of physical abuse in their workplace and then have them release that abuse in the form of violent sex to women. I get that the hucow is the only position that offers the best way to go for women. I think I see what you were going for with the monster at the end giving women death through repeated orgasms while literally eating them. I just think that you missed the mark between erotic and just plain creepy. I normally try to put my comments in the form of questions and ideas to consider in trying to improve a story. I just don’t know how to help with this particular story, so I’m going to offer up a suggestion. There’s another author here who writes this type of storytelling that I think you should get in contact with. Maybe they can offer up some help in fine tuning your work. It’s DystopianArtificer. Check out his works and ask his advice for fine tuning your own storytelling.

You write one savage horror story. I think I lost my appetite for milk... permanently.

Title said it...

Hello! I love this!! Please continue and add more chapters! I'd love to see things from each jobs view!

I get that you were going for an dystopian future where humanity has been pushed to the brink of extreme measures in order for survival. However it doesn't make sense that the race is focused on not improving their lives and trying to prosper. Its a bit depressing that after having a shitty life you die a shitty way. If the world set up had just a touch more detail I think it would really benefit to justify the circumstances and the culture of this world.

The aggressive sex is a bit too much. I understand the vibe your going for. But if the men are working 18 hour shifts in unthinkable climates, how are they getting so much access to unselected women? And how do they have the energy?

I think it would be a great idea to introduce shift rotations/ only using service women.

Just so you aren't risking over doing it.

Honestly it’s cool I feel like this is more of a story than an erotic quick turn on it’s more on the twisted side and like a thriller in my opinion it was enjoyable as a story not as a turn on but you did well regardless

I know it's because the website requires it, but it's still absolutely hilarious to read about dystopias completely sheltering their people from abuse until 18, and then all gloves are off and it's a no-holes-barred rape fest.