All Comments on 'The Peachwillow Chronicles Pt. 01'

This... Kind of feels like it was written by two completely different authors.

The story was going well until we got to the sex scene - at which point the transition was sudden, jarring, and had absolutely no build-up at all. From that point on, the plot was set completely by the wayside, and the sex scenes were, well... It felt stilted and the dialogue wasn't up to the standard of the introduction to the story.

I don't know what happened - if you just got impatient, or were uncomfortable writing the sex scenes, or felt like you *had* to shove it in because it's on literotica, keep your quality up to what you already have shown you're capable of, and most importantly, *keep your pacing consistent!* The story went from basically one afternoon taking a full page to multiple days of sex all at once.

Just some things to think about! Keep on writing, and remember, no writer can't stand to improve their craft.