The Perfect Beginning Ch. 12

This is the 12th installment of an ongoing story about Michele a and Tim. For sure, it is a disturbing relationship and is in no way intended to describe something healthy or ideal. Emotional sadism is central to it all. If this bothers you, this is not the story for you and I suggest you venture elsewhere.

What makes the story interesting to me is what takes place in the minds of the characters. Withouts words and ideas and the feelings that go with them, it's all just mechanics and honestly, that's not so interesting to me. Simple, pure fucking is a great thing to do. I don't need to read about it. Perhaps when I was verrrrrrrry young, that alone would have intrigued me. Now...yawn. This is a dark, emotional journey. I hope you enjoy it.

The following preface is cut and pasted from installment II. For a more comprehensive understanding of their world, you can venture back to the first installment. Read it or skip it.

This story takes place in a very male dominant society, one which is even more patriarchal than our own. Our hero, Michele, is enchanted by the discovery of her own sexual super power. Poor, lucky Tim, on the other hand comes to realize that he falls under Michels's spell, he does not measure up to societal expectations. These two young people are discovering and becoming as they grow together as a couple.

Psychological conflict and tension are central themes in this saga.

*

The story has been formatted to meet the publishing requirement of our host and I am hopeful the necessary kinks have been worked out.

A more complete preface can be found at the beginning of the first installment and if you did not read it, it could be helpful to do so. Here are some of the contextual parameters of the fictional world the story takes place within.

* People are legal adults at 18 years of age.

* People usually live to about 2,000 years of age.

* The cultural norm has almost all legal adults living with their family of origin until they turn 200 years old.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 are treated as and referred to as children when they choose to continue living with their parents.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 often behave much as we would expect teenagers to behave here in our world. They are kept in a state of arrested emotional development.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 years customarily consume "blockers" which prevent them from having sexual feelings or impulses.

* Often young people will begin to "date" around 160 yers of age and while they are expected to continue to take their blockers, some will surreptitiously stop taking them while a few will stop responding to them.

* Age and masculinity are revered in this world. Everybody looks up to their elders and few seriously question the patriarchy.

All characters in the story are over 18 years of age.

It is customary for those below the age of 200 to demonstrate their status by wearing clothing which signify to others that they are off limits. They would wear what we would think of as children's clothing. Remember, an 18 year old and a 1,900 year old would look exactly the same age, so children's clothes are very useful for signaling to those over 200 years to abstain from any romantic or sexual pursuit of another who was deemed of an inappropriate age.

Lastly, sex is not technically illegal for people between the ages of 18 and 200 years. It is considered profoundly taboo. Adult-children (18+) do have sex but it is kept very quiet. Some parents punish their children for engaging in this sinful pleasure and adult-children almost never tell-on one another in this regard, even those who might not like one another. Adult children live by a code and violation of said code subjects one to complete ostracization. Almost none experiment until they are well over 160 years old.

***

Dear Diary,

There is no denying it: I am my mother's girl.  Mom really gets it and it seems I get it because of her...strangely.  It's strange because she did not teach me any of this.  Is that true?  OK, she did not teach me any of this directly or like, on purpose, yet so much of who I am is because of her. 

Had she been in my situation, instead of the completely backwards situ she came from, she'd have likely done as I have. 

It's because of my mom that Krista and I are writing a third book.  She and every woman like her, deserves this. 

OK, here is another thing.  I've been reading a LOT about "deviant" sex and one thing that is very common is bondage.  Not really into it and don't even know why.  I suppose it just seems like work and little about it seems exciting.  Yet there is something about the symbolism that I really do get. 

So today I had this really wonderful realization that Tim and I do practice bondage. 

Way more powerful than what I could do to his body with a piece of rope, I've put Tim into deep, deep emotional...mental...psychological bondage.  Win!  He's in spiritual bondage.  Like really, I've harnessed his thoughts and feelings.  mmmmmmm  Just want to bind him tighter and tighter and tighter!  I know I've considered this before, but it seems so much more ...I don't know...more complete now. smiles.

****

Michele always knew when Tim was going to ask to see Becky.  Any time he was challenged or they transitioned as a couple, he sought Becky's council and comfort.  She thought a little comfort was only fair since it usually came when she was having the most fun.  Besides, Becky was her good girl and could be counted on.

*

Becky could tell he was shaken up over the phone, so when he met her in the Lounge she steadied herself.  With serious concern, "What's happened?  Is everything alright?"

He told her the whole story, including the embarrassing truth that he'd been "taking care of" himself throughout the entire relationship.

He was a bit thrown off by her reaction to this embarrassing detail.  "I don't understand, why were you cheating on her?  Seriously Tim, what more could you want in life?  Isn't she good enough for you?"

"I...no, she's good enough.  I mean, she's amazing...perfect, but I don't know...  I just need to, you know..."

"Cum?  No.  You're wrong.  Gosh, just when I think you've figured it out..." 

Tim did not expect his bestie to be so disappointed with him yet neither did he imagine that Michele had already gotten to and prepped Becky for this conversation. 

"You still don't get it. Okay, like, men need that.  Men.  Men have powerful needs.  And they get to because they are Men.  They get to fire away any old time they want. BANG-BANG! It's actually beautiful.  Oh my, getting horny.  And they deserve that.  They're Men.  They've earned it.  Men enjoy privilege. They deserve it and good for them! Thank god for men! Thank god!

"Men are like a whole different species than you.  You're just a boy, sweet one.  Do as you are told and be grateful.  I'm kinda surprised you did not know you needed to ask.  Boys need to ask.  They need Mommy to say it's okay.  You don't get to make choices on your own.  You know, it's a permission thing.  And I know you know exactly what I'm talking about."

Sitting just close enough to take it all in was Madison White who pretended to read a book. She could not help but to shake her head in the negative when she found out what Tim had done. As ever, she viewed Tim's actions in the context of the future relationship she hoped to have with him.

Oh no, you didn't! There will be none of that! Little boy's gonna get it!

A "permission thing," yes, he did know about that.  Seeking permission from Michele was a foundational aspect of their relationship.  But where was the line?  Had he no autonomy?

"But I didn't.  You really don't think I get to make that choice on my own?"  Tim was shocked by Becky's assessment.

"Nope," said Madison. Tim and Becky looked across the courtyard to see her shaking her head in the negative as she read her book and both assumed it was in reaction to something she'd just read.

"Of course you don't.  Gosh, Tim, I don't know if you are being dishonest with me or with yourself."

"Beck..."

"If I'm wrong, why didn't you just tell Michele to suck your cock?"

What is she talking about?  "Because...because it just does not work that way."

"Duh, of course it does not work that way because you aren't a man.  You don't even have a cock.  You have a cute, little-boy dickie."  She said the last with a sweet smile and as though she were talking to an adorable puppy dog.  "You could never do that.

Just the way she said it was so confusing to him.  She had just said the most devastating thing she could say to any guy but said it like it made him cute, special and of value.

"Okay, so why didn't you, you know like the last time you two were together," she used air-quotes, "whip out your big man cock and stroke out a load right in front of her?  Like maybe in her face?  Oh my god, I'd so L-O-V-E that! Getting hungry."

The thought inspired great guilt and fear.  "Because I can't...I'm not allowed," he said quietly. 

She'd never actually told him he was not "allowed" to do this but something about it ran counter to their shared, romantic values.

Sometimes he was still surprised that he still felt shame over his own weakness.  He was still ashamed that he submitted to and obeyed a girl.  Yet shame and submission where now part of him. 

Becky's vision terrified him and without thought, he looked around to see if Michele heard what Becky said.  He knew she was not even on the same campus but he could not help himself. 

He noticed Madison shaking her head in the negative and assumed something in that book of hers must have been off putting to her.

None of the girls in the Lounge were friends of Michele but it worried him.  He was frightened of the secret police.

"Well that's my point exactly: you are not allowed.  Look, even if you never spoke about this before, you knew.  You know Michele and you understand your relationship.  You even go to couples therapy.  You have some awareness.  You knew and it's why you kept it a secret."

"It's not fair," he said petulantly.

"You are sure right about that," she said with bitter irony.  "It's not fair.  You get to be with her.  Maybe you should feel a bit more gratitude?

"And like, in the way you mean it, when was fair ever part of it? If you really wanted fair, why are you not going steady with Brenda Hawkins? She's cute and you two could be together and making all your choices together. Trying not to fall asleep. I think I could yawn so big, I could curl up inside of it and take a nap. Are we done with this equal stuff?"

"Sorry."

Madison rolled her eyes in consternation.

Becky took a deep breath to steady herself.  "Anyway, that's over now but, oh...my...god!  You are telling me you have to wait two weeks to cum?" 

Becky was mortified.  Becky came so often in the course of a day that Tim's dilemma was unthinkable!  

And she was not sure of what to think about how she masturbated all the time when she went down on Michele and sometimes Michele got her off with Becky's dildo.  She wondered why there was such a double standard. 

And then it occurred to her that Michele knew she could not do to Becky what she did with Tim.  She knew that Michele and Tim got off on humiliation.  This was doable in part because of Tim's conventional notions of appropriate sexual conduct and how he was "supposed" to behave as a sexual man.  Shame was built into it all. 

Becky had no such notions, therefore, it was not a sexual trigger and control point like it was with her best friend. 

Poor, lucky boy is right in her trap.

There was another perspective on this too.  Becky LOVED to make her guy cum.  It was the best.  She loved when he came inside her but she also loved swallowing a man's cum. 

Mmmmmm yummy. 

But she did like making him hard.  There was tremendous satisfaction in knowing she could make him want her.  Keeping him hard might actually be a lot of fun.  The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. 

Like if he wanted me so badly, it hurt him.  What if he wanted me so badly it made him cry?  Oh, yeah. 

It was not hurting him in this way that aroused her, it was the idea of that she could get a guy that into her.

That's hot!

If she thought Michele would approve, she'd go out that very day and pick a boy to do this to. 

She won't.  Oh, well.

And then she saw it from the other side. 

She does this to him because he is more important than I am. 

She sublimated her anger and heartache.

Once every two weeks! 

At once she was soooooooo grateful Michele did not do this to her, yet there was continued whisper of envy in the back of her mind.  She was not sure she could remain sane if she were kept from orgasming as often as she did, but a part of her, Tim's twinsie, was envious. 

Like Tim, Becky liked being controlled by her special somebody, it was both erotic and comforting. 

Secondly, it demonstrated commitment.  This was a significant relationship bond that her best friend and Michele had that she did not have.  She knew Michele would not make this choice for Tim if he was not important enough to her.

Since she found a little bit of hurt at the bottom of this story, she did not mind sweetly rubbing it in her friends face a little.  "Oh my god, I am so grateful!"

"How so, Beck?"

"I just love to orgasm!  I do it like all day long."

"Really?"

"Totally.  I can't tell you how many times I've cum with you sitting right next to me as we just talk about something sexual." 

Tim was blown away.  He could not count the number of times he'd been hard during their conversations, but to think Becky was so sensitive that she could cum without even touching herself was mind blowing. 

How does she do that? 

As he felt Missy get hard inside her panties, he became so pointedly envious of her freedom.  He loved Michele, but this was too much!

"How am I going to do this Becky!" came his plaintive cry.

"I'll tell you how: You are going to put on your panties one leg at a time, like every other girl.  Then you are going to put on your big boy pants and do as you are told, that's how. 

"Don't get me wrong, I'd hate if I could not cum less than like...many times a day, but you seem to be missing the big picture here.  First of all, she would not do this if she did not care about you.  You know that don't you?"

"I guess," he said in a pouting sort of way.

"I'm not going to even talk about you leaving her because we both know you can't.  But you don't want to.  So here is the big question: How do you feel about Michele right now today?  Do you love her any less?  Do you love her any more?"

And this was the most obvious question.  Tim was so consumed by his penis and his orgasms and his loss that he was not thinking about his Love.  And when he did, the answer was just as obvious as the question.  He was not focused on his gain.  He was so head over heels in love with Michele, any effusive declaration would be inadequate and silly sounding.

"I love you so much, Becky.  I'm sorry, I know sometimes I come to you sounding like such a crybaby.  You are the best friend ever."

"Well, you are welcome, but there is an entirely different way of looking at all this as well.  Men are free, they have power.  Sometimes that power makes girls like me, weak.  God...hornier! 

"You are so lucky you have Michele because she's different.  You need different because you are different.  You are so obviously little.  Almost any woman could tell.  And we always test men just to see.  You are just like me, sweetie.  You are a gentle boy.  And you get just as horny as me when you think about that strong woman, don't you?"

His cock was throbbing.  "Yes."

"Of course you do.  Just close your eyes and think about her totally bossing you around.  It makes you want to cum in your Kitties.  You are a boy and she spanks you.  Do you know what that makes her?"

"What?" he asked gently.

"That makes Michele your Mommy.  Think about that."

Madison was fit to be tied!

Of course he already had but the shiver ran up and down his spine anyway.  Her Mommy title had occurred to him naturally and he'd been calling her that for some time. 

Becky just gets it.  All of it.

"Do you know what little boys and little girls need from Mommy?"

"What?" he asked breathlessly.  He felt he was slipping down the rabbit hole.

"They need Mommy's permission.  Like for everything.  It's one of the ways she shows her affection. Her permission, even when she says 'no,' is love. Her control is an expression of love."

"I know."

"Good," she said cheerfully.  Smiling while feeling the sting of envy, "So how are you holding up?  Is it harrrrrd?"

Returning the smile, "It is hard; in every sense of the word.

"You poor baby.  Does it like, hurt?"

"Yes!  It's beginning to really ache!"

"Your poor little penis!  Oh my god, your poor little-boy balls!  They must be just like filling up!"

"I think they are," he said with concern.  "I think that's why they ache so badly.  I think they are swelling."

"Oh my god, I want to see!

"You better not cheat.  She'll know if you do."

"No, I won't.  But can she?  Really?"

"Totally.  You will act totally differently.  You won't notice it, but she is so in tune with you, she'll see it right away. 

"If you ever feel like you are having a crisis...a harrrrrd moment," she said with a playful smile, "call me.  Seriously, I want to support you. 

"They do that in AA you know?  If somebody feels like they are going to drink, they call their "sponsor" to support and help them.  I want to be your moral support.  God, I'm such an orgasm-addict, I'd totally need help."

*

Despair and envy washed over Madison White.  Madison perfect.  She had a porcelain complexion, a delicate nose, high cheek bones and thick, shoulder length, chestnut hair, worn back to lightly frame her perfect face. 

Skirts, knee socks and sweaters, preppy stylings worn in the most tasteful way showcased a proudly conservative disposition. 

Her family was wealthy and she was at the top of her class.  Supremely confident, she believed in herself and luxuriated in all her privilege.  She deserved a boy like Kimberly.  Yet while listening to the conversation she became convinced he'd never fall to her.  She stomped her foot and pouted.

*

And so he did call Becky when he was close to "slipping."  And though she was there for her friend, she got in a little teasing every time.  

****

Dear Diary,

I was just sitting here feeling so grateful and thought I'd journal it.  Tim and I have been together for years now.  Even though we love each other dearly and we are totally comfortable with each other, we still get to share exciting new experiences with one another.  Our intimacy is sooooooo perfect and I love it so much.  Controlling his orgasms is a powerful, beautiful and exciting new thing that is bringing us closer together...

****

With Michele's new expectations, she began inspecting Tim. 

Previously she did not think twice about his cock.  She always loved seeing it valiantly fighting and straining against those mean little girl panties.  That always made her smile as it was somehow both sexy and funny to her. 

Mr. Big-Cock wrestled down and beaten by the Little-Girl Panties.  Too Funny! 

She loved how those bossy, little Hello Kitty panties always bullied Tim's poor pantycock into submission.  To Michele, that was pure girl-power!  It was a beautiful and perfect sight to behold.

Every single time she admired it she thought the same thing: I did that to him. It was joyous.

She also always liked when it poked her leg when she spanked her boy, that always turned her on, but that was about it.  Now she wanted to exert and monitor greater control.