The Personnel Manager

Did this mean Mrs Denholm and I were going to be proper lovers? It hardly seemed possible. And besides, she'd been quite clear on the "being friends" and "I'm married" angles. But she'd also said that she found me attractive, and why would she want me just as a friend? A lady like Judith must have dozens of friends. The arguments went round and round as I attempted to analyse each gesture and each word and the short winter day came to a close outside the windows. Eventually I gave it up. After all, the important thing was that Judith and I were meeting up next Saturday morning. There would no doubt be questions to resolve then, she'd intimated as much. But no use worrying about it now. I considered checking the weather forecast for the following Saturday -- it would be a tragedy if it were rained off -- but hey, this was Britain, the only reliable forecast was to look out of the window. In the end I phoned a friend who lived nearby and arranged to meet him in our local; getting well and truly wasted tonight was probably a good way to stop worrying about the future.

I'll draw a veil over the next five or six days. Suffice it to say that the week dragged painfully by while I lived in fear that Judith would realise what a mistake we were making and cancel Saturday. I saw her a few times during the week but not to talk to. Once she smiled at me across the room but that was about the sum of our contact, which suited me fine. Saturday morning did finally dawn and as a bonus the ridge of high pressure that had moved in from the Atlantic during the week showed no signs of imminent movement and the morning skies were icy blue, the temperature down in the low thirties.

I found the meeting place Judith had suggested easily enough -- a bare-earth car park close to Copthall Green, deserted apart from Mrs Denholm's company car. I pulled up alongside it and got out. Mrs Denholm got out too and walked round to the back of her car where she raised the tailgate and changed into walking boots. She was wearing walking trousers and a padded, bright-blue anorak with a woolly hat hiding her auburn hair. She was also wearing sunglasses, giving her a vaguely exotic look.

'Hello, Ben,' she smiled her kind, calm smile and I felt like falling down and worshipping her.

'Hi Judith. How long's this walk?'

'About ten miles. There's a pub after six, we can have lunch there if you'd like.'

We set off down a rutted, well-trodden and currently frozen track, bare fields to one side and stark, winter woodland on the other. Overhead the sky was a brilliant blue.

'Judith,' I said, after we'd gone a couple of hundred yards in silence, 'can I ask you what your husband thinks you're doing this morning?'

We tramped on for another fifty yards. 'I work most Saturday mornings,' she said. 'It's quiet and I can answer all the emails that I don't have time to read during the week. That's where my husband thinks I am. He's called Frank.' We walked a little further then jumped as a pheasant exploded out of the undergrowth just ahead of us and flapped wildly off giving its choked-sounding warning cry. We walked on for another half a mile then Judith broke the silence again. 'I think there are some things I need to say to you, Ben.' My stomach flipped over. This would be when she says that after thinking about it for a week, the idea of us being friends doesn't seem so good.

'Let me tell you a bit about myself,' she began. 'Those things you said to me in your flat last weekend, it was very nice of you and I suppose that's how you see me, but I'm really a very ordinary woman. I've led a very ordinary life. I dated a few men in my late teens then got married at twenty to Frank, who was ten years older than me, because he represented safety and security. I didn't go to university, which I regret, and I never had children, which I regret even more.' She stopped suddenly and gave a choking sob. Horrified, I rushed over and put my arm around her but she fended me off. 'It's alright, I'm fine. Thank you.'

It was the first time I'd seen any hint of discomposure. It made her seem more vulnerable and, yes, more attractive. The male protective instinct in me I suppose.

'I need to say these things because I want you to understand where I'm coming from. It's important to me that you do.' She took out a handkerchief and blew her nose. 'Ok, where was I? Yes, no further education and no children. Well I've accepted all those things, I've worked hard and I've got a good job, a responsible job. And my marriage has been happy, we're very content. Frank has provided for us very well over the years...'

I felt that the conversation, or rather monologue, was coming to some conclusion but I wasn't clear what that was. Judith seemed to be telling me that she'd led a comfortable but dull life.

'About six years ago, Frank developed a condition which meant that he couldn't have sex with me anymore.' She looked at me as though expecting a comment but I said nothing and stared straight ahead down the track. 'I was fine with that. We hadn't had a particularly strong physical relationship over the past ten years. Maybe never. Frank isn't a very physical person, not in that sense. But about a year ago it started to bother me. I started to feel that my life was wasting away. I can pretty well pinpoint the exact time; it was my fifty-fifth birthday and my friends said that now I could draw my company pension, would I take early retirement. And I thought early retirement! I haven't done half the things that I was going to do, haven't been to a quarter of the places... I suppose I went through -- am going through -- a mid-life crisis. And one of the things I wanted -- still want -- is a physical relationship, a sex life.' She looked at me again but I still said nothing. What could I say?

'When Frank's condition was diagnosed, and we understood the implications, he offered to divorce me so that I could find someone normal, as he described it. Or failing that he gave me his blessing if I wanted to find a lover. Can you imagine how that made me feel? How could I ever hurt a man like that? How could I ever divorce him? I want to be there for him till the day he dies. That hasn't changed. But the idea of a lover has started to appeal very strongly to me.'

'Have you discussed this with Frank?' I asked.

'No,' she said, shortly. 'I wanted to clarify my thinking.'

'And?'

'And now I have.' There was another pause. Our feet crunched iced over puddles on the track, a skein of geese flew overhead. 'I don't want a replacement husband who's in full working order. I've got a husband, and I love him very much. I want to find someone that won't be a threat to my marriage. And I'm not interested in married men. That pretty well rules out people of my own age group. Which brings me,' she said with a sigh, 'to Ben Walton, who dropped into my life last September in an unusually interesting interview.

'To put it very bluntly, Ben, I made a list of all the things that I was looking for in a lover and you ticked all the boxes. And some boxes that I hadn't thought of. The job's yours if you want it.'

It was the first time in my life that I fully understood the expression "going weak at the knees". I felt I needed to sit down. But first I had to reassure myself that I'd heard Judith correctly.

'You're saying that you'd like us to become lovers?' I said, a note of disbelief in my voice.

'If that's what you'd like,' she smiled, 'yes.'

'I don't know what to say.'

'Well perhaps you'd better leave the talking to me; I've had a week or so to think about this.' I looked at her expectantly. 'Ok Ben, I'm going to be really blunt here. I'm fifty-six. There's a certain amount that I can do with cosmetics, but underneath my clothes I'm fifty-six. There are a few wrinkles where there used not to be, my breasts sag a bit. So does my bottom. You might find that when I'm undressed, you don't fancy me as much as you thought you did. So the first time we sleep together will be in a hotel -- neutral ground. And if you don't like what you see you can walk out of the door. No hard feelings. I will completely understand.'

'I cannot imagine that happening—'

'I've probably got fewer illusions than you, Ben, that tends to come with age. The other thing I wanted to talk about was discretion. I want you to agree to never speak about us to anybody. Ever. I will do the same. The only exception is my husband. I may decide to tell him, I haven't decided yet. And besides,' she grinned, 'if you walk out of the hotel room, I won't need to.'

'I absolutely promise that I will never say a word to anyone, not even to Sally.'

'Especially not to Sally!'

'I was teasing you.'

'And there can be no inappropriate remarks in the office. No extra familiarity. Ok?'

'I get it. You can trust me.'

'Yes, I think I can.'

'One last question, Judith. If I walk out of that hotel room, is there another candidate waiting in the wings? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.'

'There is no one else. This whole thing is based around you. Always was. Now come here and let's have a proper kiss.'

We came together on that icy January track and our lips met and our mouths opened and my tongue found its way into Judith's mouth and her tongue flicked and darted against mine and explored my mouth, running inside my lips and across my teeth. I pulled her close and she responded, our mouths mashed together lips working against each other. After what seemed an age Judith pulled her head back. Her eyes were wide, the pupils dilated and her face was flushed.

'Bloody hell, Ben, I hope I don't put you off in that hotel room! I don't think I could bear it.'

The rest of the walk passed in a bit of a blur, for me at least. I was incandescent with excitement. My wildest and most impossible dream appeared to be on the verge of coming true. We kissed a lot more before we reached the pub. Then we kissed some more on the way back to the cars. I could hardly bear to let her go in the carpark.

'Are you ok for next Saturday?' she asked just as we parted. When I said I was she said: 'I'll organise a hotel room and let you know by text.'

The following week went by agonisingly slowly. I saw Judith a number of times in my open plan office and in the corridors. She just said hello and gave me an impersonal smile. I'd like to think I looked equally detached, but I'm not sure. Anyone who knew me would have seen straightaway that I was excited about something but only Sally knew me anything like well enough and she didn't comment. The waited-for text arrived on Thursday afternoon, just as I was starting to get anxious that I hadn't heard. It said:

Woodland Lodge Motel off the A10 at Enfield. They do day rooms which are available from ten till five. I'll get there at ten and get the room, then I'll text you the room number. Xxxxxx

I re-read the message twenty or so times but it was still difficult to take in. Was I actually going to meet Judith Denholm, the personnel manager and epitome of mature sophistication, in a motel room on Saturday morning and have sex? It appeared that I was.

Saturday dawned wet and windy, but I cared not. I showered thoroughly and had a wet shave. Then I dressed carefully in chinos and a shirt, making sure my socks and underwear were presentable and without holes. I was too nervous to eat so I paced around the flat until a quarter to ten then drove to the motel. It was only ten minutes from my flat; a non-descript nineteen-sixties block in a small business park. Utterly anonymous and ideal for our tryst. I parked and switched of the engine and had hardly had time to get nervous when my phone announced an incoming SMS message -- Room 345 xx.

I walked nervously past reception but none of the staff gave me more than a passing glance. The lift was out of order so I walked up to the third floor and knocked gently on room 345. Judith must have been hovering inside because the door was opened almost immediately. I slipped in and she closed the door behind me. We were alone together in a hotel room.

'You look nice,' I said. She was wearing black trousers and a tan satin blouse. She smelt fresh and clean as I kissed her tenderly on the lips.

'I would have worn something a bit sexier but I'm supposed to be going to the office. I hope you're not disappointed. Would you like a coffee? I was too nervous to eat breakfast, so I've got some croissants from the restaurant downstairs.'

'I didn't have breakfast either,' I admitted. Nerves as well.'

Judith grimaced. 'Well I'm nervous you won't like my body. What are you nervous about? Your body's probably amazing.'

'I'm nervous that I won't be able to satisfy a mature and sophisticated lady.'

'Hmm. I get the impression you've had quite a lot of experience.'

'My experience has been with callow girls of my own age.'

'Like Sally?'

I blushed. 'Like Sally.'

We ate our croissants and drank our coffee and held a stilted conversation about the weather and the traffic conditions on the way here. After we'd finished, Judith disappeared into the bathroom and I heard her clean her teeth and wished I'd had the foresight to bring a toothbrush. When she came out she walked over to me and put her arms around me and kissed me on the lips, opening her mouth and darting her tongue past my teeth.

'Would you undress me please, Ben. I don't want to hide anything from you.'

I nodded, wordlessly and fumbled open her trouser belt and buttons. She kicked off her high heels and the trousers dropped to a pile around her feet, which she stepped out of. Underneath she was wearing sheer black stockings with a lacy black satin garter belt with three suspenders to each stocking. The suspenders passed under her silky black panties. I felt my throat constrict with desire.

'I hope you like stockings,' she whispered.

I nodded dumbly again and started to unbutton her blouse. I was breathing more heavily, my pulse thumping in my ear. Judith too was clearly affected: her breathing was audible and there were spots of colour on her cheeks. I finished the front buttons and she held her wrists out so I could unbutton her cuffs. Then she shrugged her shoulders and the blouse joined the trousers on the floor. She was wearing a black bra and for the first time I could see the size of her bust. She wasn't huge; her breasts were about the size of oranges. I undid the clasp at the back with a practised motion and the bra fell forward revealing her in the flesh; pert and upturned still, despite her age, the nipples large and deep pink. She shivered slightly and I took her in my arms and kissed her. There were the beginnings of wrinkles on her upper arms but her stomach was taut and her skin a light honey colour with few age blemishes.

'You're beautiful,' I said, with sincerity, 'more beautiful than I would have believed possible.'

'Thank you. Just don't open the curtains fully.' We laughed and I kissed her again. 'My turn now.'

I stood mute as she bent down and unlaced my oxfords then I raised each foot so that she could pull off the shoe and sock. Then she took my shirt off and ran her hands through my black chest hair. I wasn't covered with the stuff, just a scattering on my pecs and a line of silky hair running down to my navel. After another kiss she undid my belt and zipper and my trousers, after they had been manoeuvred past my erection, joined hers on the floor. Which just left my underpants. Judith knelt down on the carpet in front of me and, taking each side of the waistband between finger and thumb, pulled them down, my erect penis springing up almost into her face. I kicked off my underpants and stood naked in front of her. She reached out and took my penis in one of her long, slim hands, the red-tipped fingers closing lightly over my shaft and gently stroking its length. I groaned and she looked up at me, smiling gently.

'You're beautiful too, Ben.'

Then, very slowly and deliberately, she leaned forward and took the head of my penis into her mouth, sliding her red lips down past the glans and taking in the first three inches of me. I closed my eyes, my legs feeling suddenly wobbly, but she withdrew from me and stood up. I took the hint and knelt before her and slowly pulled her panties down to reveal a neatly trimmed dark bush, her labia visible in the middle, the lips puffy and slightly apart, a hint of pinkness inside. I leaned forward and inhaled her scent, freshness and the underlying musky sweetness of her vaginal secretions. Copying her I ran my tongue once up the length of her sex then stood and kissed her again.

Without a word she climbed onto the bed and lay down. I followed and for a long time we just kissed, enjoying the mouth-to-mouth contact and the intimacy of our shared nakedness. I cupped her breasts and traced her nipples with my fingertips, gently squeezing them and causing her to moan softly into my mouth. After a time, my hand strayed further south; I stoked her soft pubic hair and traced her labia with the tip of my middle finger. She gasped as I slid the finger between her lips and into the sopping wetness of her cunt. She started kissing me harder as I slid another finger into her then withdrew them and slid my juice-coated digits up to tease her clitoris.

Judith didn't last long. I took my mouth from hers and sucked one of her nipples into my mouth, licking and sucking and gently nibbling; my fingers were masturbating her clit with a circular motion. 'I'm coming!' she gasped, urgently as the waves of pleasure overcame her and she cried out. As the orgasm subsided, she clamped her legs together to still my fingers on her hyper-sensitive clitoris.

She was silent for a few moments. I lay next to her, supporting myself on one elbow and looking down at her face, trying to commit this scene to everlasting memory. At length, she opened her eyes. 'Have me, Ben. Penetrate me!' I got up and knelt between her legs, holding my cock in one hand and supporting myself on one arm. 'Go gently at first, darling, it's been a long time.'

Words can hardly describe my feelings as I rubbed the end of my cock up and down her slit to lubricate it. Not that it needed much help; I'd been leaking a clear, sticky fluid pretty much since getting into the hotel room. But the here and now was that I was poised to penetrate Judith Denholm's vagina. The personnel manager that I'd fallen in lust with the first time I'd set eyes on her. Here she was, lying on the bed underneath me, dressed in nothing but stockings and suspenders and a garter belt, asking me to penetrate her, calling me darling!

I pushed and my cock slid slowly in, the full length. I'm not hugely endowed, but I guess she was getting six and a half inches of me inside her. And God was she tight! More like an eighteen-year-old virgin than a fifty-something lady, the walls of her vagina gripping me in a warm, soft, wet embrace.

'Is that ok for you?' I whispered.

'Oh,' she said, looking up at me with something like rapture on her face. 'It's more than ok.'

I started to fuck her. Slowly at first, getting into a rhythm as she flexed her hips to meet me, her wonderful legs, in their black stockings, locked over the backs of my calves, my cock making a faint slurping noise as I slid in and out. This time it was me who didn't last long. Withing a few scant minutes I felt the tingling in my scrotum and the approach of my climax. I tried to slow down but Judith, seeming to know what I was doing said: 'no, don't stop! I want you to come inside me.'

Hearing those words tipped me over the edge and I was wracked by the most powerful orgasm I've ever experienced It went on for a long time and I felt as though I were pumping a gallon of semen into Judith's cunt. Eventually the waves subsided and my penis grew soft and I withdrew it from my lover and lay down next to her. She put her head on my chest and I hugged her to me, thrilled and excited beyond measure at what had just taken place.