All Comments on 'The Pinion Pine Tree'

Really needs a good editor, a good story line but too many errors and parts where the reader is left wondering how things happene

They must have liked it. I did. tom anon

Fix it!! Damn irritating to change the name of a character. Did you bother to proof read it before posting?

Running husband story. Difficult decision for the husband, but a secret bank account with the 3-5% of the salery on Cayman Islands the wiser safty buoy for the future..........................The running husband stories have 3 solutions: 1. Divorce 2. Reconcilation 3. Running again.

The DNA test would be good decide factor, if the wife told him: I used your comb with your hair, becouse you left your comb home when you were running away in order to persuade you about paternity with 100% sure. Something like this could explain something, but DNA test by wife couses interesting questions about faithfulness...............I agree others.

Was Tom married to 2 women? The switching between Cheryl & Janice was very confusing. 0*

for submitting new work. You're a talented story-teller, and I hope we'll be seeing more of your work. As for this particular story, I love the way you had her see her silliness from outside herself by way of the photo. It's a nice plot twist, and frankly, the way I found peace with their reconciliation.

This is well written and an engaging read but why the Janice/Cheryl confusion, also J/C seems to be confessing to more Thank dinner with JB (why Else the DNA test?) but she said it was just dinner. Another read through or an editor would have helped. Otherwise a great story, and I look forward to reading future stories.

Great story well written except for the names.

One thing I like to do is reread everything I write before sending it in. Because I always leave some error init. And a editor helps.

BUt over all a very well written story with a nice ending that fits the season.

Hope to read more of your work.

thank you!

I'm sorry, but I just can't accept the premise that a married woman that isn't cheating would decide to have dinner with an old BF- on Christmas Eve. And tell the husband she supposedly loves that she is working late. That's just too improbable. Granted, the tales of Rambo types, or ex CIA supermen are similar, but at least the motivation for those stories is somewhat understandable. NOT going out with a BF on Christmas Eve. Believing in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny would be easier.

If she is not lying, which I doubt, then he should still leave her because she is the dumbest cunt on earth.

You had two names, Janice and then Cheryl. Did I miss something or did you get the girl's name messed up. In the future, if you have Word 10, on the far right of the tool bar is a place that says replace. Use it to replace any mess ups. It's not an unusual error, but it got me confused a little. Otherwise a nice creative little tale, well worth a five

So she was pregnant. She needed a DNA test if she didnot sleep with her boyfriend. How can you take her back trust is gone.

However took me years to figure it all out

This story took me back to my Catholic roots. I have learned, over time, that our views on marriage, jealousy, and cheating are largely guided by our religious teachings. Being able to forgive is more human than religious, as is being able to forget. Your beautiful effort here touches these important human points.

Thank you for your effort.

In this story the wimp needs serious mental help and the slut should have been stoned [wait - revise that - they both needed to be eliminated from the gene pool] and the child should be placed with a real family not these misfits.

Toro-pooh-pooh sob story!

"He is yours Tom. When he was born the blood tests confirmed a blood match and I also had a DNA test done to make sure, to be able to prove to you he is your son and . . ." Janice did not complete the sentence. She had said enough to tell me she needed to be sure who the real father was.

.......she was in same restaurant as his gregarious brother,be kind of hard to miss especially just after lying to hubby....mmm? unless she felt safe he wouldn't out her,but then why?...were they...?....or had the two hutched some sinister plot to cover up a pregnancy ?

.......his brother waved at him, but never bothered to find out why he never made it to the table, "ever?".......As I was showing the photographs you sent to Jack your brother walked up to our table and just stood there looking at me. Harry just shook his head and walked back to the table where he'd been sitting with his friends from work." ....is it because email to all future grandparents included....would raise a paternity dilemma.... a blood test would probably rule Jack out if he had"been lucky"but would not rule out Harry if he was "being lucky"....

...Harry was missing at "family reunion"...mmmm? did grandparents also work it out...can see why DNA test was very important...being parents either way it was still their grandchild but where decent enough not to want to saddle the wrong boy with raising a son not his.....they didn't go to mass....mmmm? why raise the need to confess what they had worked out......for what it's worth she probably did want to fuck Jack, but it was more to salve guilt of sleep with good old gregarious Harry....full*s

If you needed DNA you fucked him. I will pay support after a second test but you and I are finished.

After reading Prideinsight's comment I am forced to agree,although I think he missed the original clues.

The "star or angel?" argument.Think metaphors my friend,he chose the star.In the bible it guides to the manger,but gives the three wise men an opportunity to reflect and make the most important decisions in their lives.(three wise men/love triangle).She chose the angel because it was classier(have her cake and eat it/best of both worlds).

Then there is,this time he didn't believe her,to come to this stage and state it with conviction he must have figure it out and probably the who.

Harry's invite, when he found out that Tom would be alone was a chance for him to try and throw his brother off-track.

And the email to everyone....chances are that there are friends and family who knew about Cheryl/Janice's and Harry's affair but for unknown reasons chose not to tell him,but he didn't know which ones,same reason he never stayed in touch he just didn't know who to trust.

As to Jack,the request not to tell Jack, was just Tom letting the two cheaters and those friends and family that he knew the affair was not with Jack.....hell she even admits it via the tests needed and the statement"For what it's worth I never slept with Jack . . . I think I wanted to but could never get past my Catholic guilt."

I see others beat me to it, but she had to get a DNA test? And she didn't sleep with anyone? You'd have to be an idiot not to read those tea leaves. No, I admire her persistence in searching for him, but I'd have asked for an independent test and have it done again.

"...to tell you I now know you are the man I love and want to spend my life with."

Lets examine this phrase, shall we? A married woman had to go fuck around with other men before she understands that? A man who is married to her must still compete for her affections? She had to be caught red handed before she understands that?

Cripes, if she were a real person, she made me sick. And if he were real, he should wear horns every day of his life so everyone should see them.

A well told tale but some serious character issues. The guy is a psychologist and yet he runs off half-cocked and doesn't get the whole story? For a whole year he does't follow up? He doesn't feel a need to clean up his end of the mess? No need for closure? She can't find him for a year? He is a psychologist working at a hospital! Any half-assed PI could find him. She didn't fuck her old boyfriend? But she was willing to have dinned with him on Christmas eve while her husband was home cooking her dinner? WTF? Possible, but over the top stupid. Great writing, but the plot kept pulling me out of the story.

He can't even figure out if his wife is Janice or Cheryl ?

She needs a DNA test to tell who the father of her son is when (she claims) she did not sleep with the man her husband caught her with ?

There are ideas for at least two stories here.

But this is too confused and confusing.

An all time favorite. Five stars.

He says. "So, Janice, after sleeping with soldier-boy what is it you want?" she doesn't respond or deny this statement why? then later says she didn't sleep with Jack. Weird. T

1) if she slept with the friend, and I think she did, it was after she knew that her husband had seen her and after she got the picture. Lot of disrespect there.

2) she claimed, after much hesitation, that she didn't sleep with her friend but that she had blood work and DNA results that the baby was his. And expects hubby to take her word for it, after admitting she had lied to him. I think the only one who believed her were the hapless husband and one of the annoys on here who likes to have body fluids forced on him or her.

Constant name changing for the wife was kind of interesting but other than that, not much the hold the reader.

Janice or Cheryl?

Other than the confusion about what Tom's wifes name, it is a good story with an interesting twist. Enjoyed the characters and resolution.

Thanks for the good read. Please keep writing.

She's so two-faced that each of her faces has its own name

Nothing resolved tom takes it in the ass.

YOU sophist801 are one major league ASSHOLE,WHORE WIFE APOLOGIST, CUCK SUCKING, PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!

an amazing story. One can speculate all they want, but we have to take the short story at face value. She says she didn't cheat, got the DNA report as evidence for him, and pined away for a whole year looking for him. Not the actions of a cheater who just gave birth to another guys child - one she seemed to be quite ga-ga over. Think of it this way ... If she hadn't cheated and was just flirting with the idea, how would you expect her to act? What would somebody guilty of that do? Her actions fit the authors storyline.

First, the auther is so confused, he can't decide the name of the wife. Wether she is Janice or Cheryl?

Second, she claims she got dna done for paternity. Why would he believe as she alreafy lied to him for working late while she was meeting her boyfriend? Why he didn't got the baby tested himself instead of believing his liar wife?

Third, how could he know if she will not betray her again?

what a way to run the railroad. TK U MLJ LV NV

What could inspire the spewing of so much vitriol in some of the comments in response to a milk toast story. You have to wonder if in their personnel lives they enjoy kicking puppies? Drowning kittens? Perhaps beating their own children with a belt?

SHE cheated, didn't have to fuck, she cheated and deserves the street/divorce. the guy wimped out...she WILL cheat again

You can take that to the bank: A Runner is a Sissy.

If there weren't waiters and people around he would have snuck into a booth watching them while he jerked off. A runner is a Low T voyeur/cuck without the balls and self-respect to be a real man and a father.

Go ahead and smirk. But no real man would watch someone else caressing his own woman and then skulk off like some type of low order rodent nursing his achey breaky heart. The next step is to live alone in a shack in the mountains drinking and masturbating. Whoa, that's a new definition of the noble mind that Shakespeare never wrote about.

There is absolutely nothing noble about squirming away into the tall grass when confronted with an infidelity situation like this. That is exactly what is often promoted in these cheatin' wife stories. It is a retrograde, krinkle-chromosome, metrosexual mindset.

This husband acts like a woman with a fucking hoop dress on.

Has anyone mentioned that her suspicious behavior had been going on for weeks? For weeks and she doesn't fuck the soldier? Of course there isn't a reason in all of creation to believe a word she says.

On the other hand, can you blame the dumb bitch for wanting a hard dick to play with?

Don't get me wrong - couples are better off without this type of dipshit infidelity. But think about it. Hubby himself admits he hadn't fucked her in two or three weeks. He was too busy philosophising with all of the hard luck drunks and suicidals that blow into the hospital to go home and give his wife a good fucking - a fucking that any normal woman wants from her husband. So what happens? A gun-totin' cowboy with a badge and a hard one sweeps in for some "reminiscing".

A sissy that wilts like a dried-up prairie posie when confronted with an obvious fidelity problem is a bracing tonic for the soul. Not.

This guy deserved all he got. He never talked to the women and was only too ready to assume the worst. Of course if he had done the normal thing then you would not have had a story. I did like it (4*) but a bit of realism would really help you.

the wife is a piece of work... He should re run the DNA testing... never take her word for any thing.... if he is to believe her I have some swamp land to sell

I spent so much effort into keeping track of who was who, I kind of lost interest in 'why' she was cheating. Didn't really matter though, anyone who would blow off the family Christmas dinner for a lover doesn't really give much of a damn about their relationship. I didn't read anything that made me think she wouldn't betray him again. Figure out what her name is supposed to be and clean up your story, you'll have a nice little tale, even if hubby is a chump.

If she didn't sleep with Jack, why would she need a DNA test? Also, if she hadn't slept with him, why would she feel close enough to him, to risk throwing away her marriage by blowing off Christmas Eve dinner? You kind of threw away the real drama, by her claiming she hadn't slept with Jack.

I kind of like the emotional flow - I did find the editing errors a bit jarring (and the soft error of whether she lost weight (at the bell scene) or gained weight (at the feeding scene) made it even more indeterminate).

At the risk (joy?) of possibly causing cerebral hemorrhage in the BTB ranks - a possible cuckold story situated at Christmas has a certain... je ne sais quoi.

But! frankly, the story as written only supports that idea as a possible deep subtext. Does it really matter if he started the child, if he is going to commit to raise it? This is the underlying meat, to my mind, of the Joseph question...

green-something

(and no, I don't want to hear about your emotional problems... )

A 3* because it has promise. I am not an English Major, but you need a good editor.

You changed the wife's name. Keep writing but get a better flow.

MCPO Jim

what is the wife's name? why can't you correct this?

1 You can't edit stories once they are published.

2 She had the DNA test done because she knew her husband would think her lover had fathered the child.

The rest was more take it or leave it. His parents and the wife breaking into his house was a bit jarring.

Why make a test, if she didn't sleep with him. Had there been others?

wimpy cuck shit.

Why did she keep her relationship with this guy a secret, especially if she wasn't fucking him? What was wrong with the relationship with her husband that made her consider fucking this old boy friend? Why did she think she needed DNA proof of paternity? How and where has she been living? How did she find him? How the fuck did she mount a star at the top of this pinion tree? What does she now understand about herself that will reassure him this won't happen again?

And more. You let her off way too easy.

I'm with a number of others...

If nothing was happening why not be straight up and honest? She should have been able to tell him what she was doing. Either she had already (how many times??) betrayed him or she was planning on it. There can be no other logical explanation. Yes we can explain away the DNA testing as being just to ensure that she had something to prove to him about the baby's parentage but we can also suspect that she did that to ensure she was going after the right father.

He can take her back but if he does he should only do so while he remembers the old mottos "TRUST BUT VERIFY" and also keep in mind "ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER".

As you may gather I don't believe her story one bit.

What is the name of the wife in this story?

With a few errors, (Cheryl or Janice), should have a proof reader. I understand where she's coming from. I had male friends and never had any sex with them. But it IS all about images. She gave the image that she was up to no good! Doesn't mean she did it, it just looked like she did. Please keep writing!!

Not much of a proof reader, are you? Still a good story, just a bit too much extraneous detail, scenery, crowd etc.

She probably lied about fucking the old boy friend. Why the three dinner dates? Three buttons undone? The DNA test? He knew they fucked, she knew he knew it. With the kid his, as LordSlamDog said, it changed things big time, plus his parents were pushing him too, the latter not decisive, but a factor. If the decision to reconcile was already made (and it was), would a discussion about penis size, etc make it easier or harder to reconcile? Let sleeping dogs lie says I.

Chilley

OK story line but i don't think you should drink and write.

What about all the longer work days, are they erased too?

but it does seem she's lying, As others have pointed out why the "working late" so much, why the DNA test? her words "and I also had a DNA test done to make sure". and what kind of person abandons her husband on christmas eve to have an intimate dinner with another man. Even if a cock never touched her cunt she was a cheater.

I'd like to see this story taken further, i'd do it but i can't write for shit.

I don't like to rate incomplete stories. The hold DNA thing screwed up her explanation. You need to fix it. I really don't want to give a low rating, but as it stands I would have to.

Because there was doubt of the father, yet he chose to believe that there was no sex...I don't get it.

The name switch back n forth, sometimes in the paragraph took me completely out of the story, so rated it only mediocre for that reason. You might think about getting an editor.

so much win, almost as funny as "the shit hit the fan" in another author's stories, priceless

You (whoever you are) appear to be an accomplished author. Your stories (as far as the 3 I've read) are insightful and poignant. In this story, the last Christmas dinner scene had me wondering if the whole episode wasn't an hallucination and immediately wondered about the whole bell ringer encounter (Ghosts of Christmas past?).

Yet it would seem that no one read the story through. Simple typo's, spellings, even name continuity of one of the primary characters. This seems to be a feature of many of the stories submitted here. Stories written by authors of varied capabilities. Over the years I have wondered how this comes to be. Are these stories sketches to be included in some future novel and not worth polishing 'til then? Are they written and rewritten at some later date with a different ending marring the continuity? Are they set aside without an ending and taken up later; misremembering a character's name?

Would you shed some light on this phenomenon for a rapt admirer?

Another 5* favorite.

She had the testing done because she suspected HE might not believe it was his.

Now we know that smart phones aren't really smart, but a hand lying in plain sight on top of a table is clandestine. I decided to try real hard to swallow that lesson. But who the hell is Janice? Is she Cheryl's sister, or close friend? Do they both have babies?

I believe she had been having an affair and needed to complete the DNA test to be sure what her story would be. If he was NOT the father, the story would have been a bit different. And she could have gotten DNA from his toothbrush, comb, pillow case, etc.

Is the wife named Cheryl, or Janice? You seem to be calling her both. It seems she had the DNA done to prove to herself, as much or more than him. Also, if he hadn't caught her, what would she have done. You can draw a lot of conclusions from what you wrote. First, she's a lying, cheating slut. Second, she was going to fuck that guy for sure. Third, despite her, " I knew you would need proof ", claim, she had doubts of her own who the father was. And,, Fourth,she's a proven liar, What else is she lying about. Good Job on the writing, subject, and plot, but fix her damn name.

'

A good story but I'm pretty sure she did infact have sex with him. She got the DNA test done not for her husband's piece of mind, but her own. That and finding a way to get her story straight. To have enough truth and facts to support the lies she would tell. The best deceptions often have enough truth in them to sell them. I didn't believe a word she said, but I can understand how the husband could reconcile. After being alone and bereft of support I can understand how he had no fight left in him. Maybe she was telling the truth, I can admit that. But I'd never trust her again.

"There's a sucker born every minute." And this guy is one of them. She wasn't fucking Captain John? But she made damned sure she not only got a blood test but a DNA test to know for sure who the father was? Shows tbat being well educated doesn't mean you have enough common sense to add 2 + 2 and get 4. They had been lovers before in her "wild days", she was repeatedly "working late", she blew off hubby on Christmas Eve to gaze starry-eyed at the uniformed ex-lover with 3 buttons undone to show as much cleavage as she could, holding hands, etc. And she swears she spent a lonely year being ostracized by family and friends, yet there she is with HIS parents as cozy and comfortable as can be in his apartment cooking dinner together. Yeah, those weeks before he caught wife and ex-lover together were ALL spent by them just holding hands. And she had it so hard surrounded by family, especially grandparents, who seem to have completely worked out their differences over infidelity and now are nothing but supportive of her. So does he believe that Santa Claus is a real person as well? 3* just cause you spin mostly interesting tales (but so RAAC).

The question remains, did he make the right choice?

Ask him in 10 years!

She didnt fuck him but she had blood work and DNA test done,,,,,,,,,WHY,,,,,,,,,because the cheating slut did fuck him and had been for the previous few months when she had been working late. Captain Jack was a very honorable man wasnt he, willing to fuck someone else's wife.........shit story

Then it went right into the deep freeze. It's like this was written by two people, one very good and the other not so much. There are a lot of holes in the story and really doesn't have any back story to explain anyone's actions, nor does it have much emotion.

It turned out to be a long read for two pages,. I'm not trying to disparage the writer but you do need to work on your skills, some.

Keep at it.

so hump or jump, save yourself first and when possible others, TK U MLJ LV NV

she had to make sure who the dad was with a dna test or she already knew because she didn't sleep with anyone but her husband? Whole thing seemed like the sort of thing one remembers from a disjointed dream after too many onions before bed.

Cheating can be either emtional or physical, one is just as bad as the other, Besides it sounds like she has a split personality, is she Cheryl or Janice?

1.) At bell ringing “station” in front of Vons it is noted she looked thinner. Then at feeding baby scene her face is fuller/rounder

2.) And of course the why of DNA testing to assure herself the baby was Tom’s

Wtf...

What’s his wife’s name? It bounced from Cheryl to Janice and back so frequently, that it was distracting.

Overly sentimentalized. The fact that she didn't fuck him hardly absolves her. The lies, disrespect, and violation of his trust are very serious matters. If he hadn't left I doubt that she would have felt the full weight of her betrayal. The "kiss and make-up" at the end is far too easy. There's a path to full reconciliation, but in real life it would take some time. At best, there could be a Christmas truce and a beginning.

It was Judas not Judah.

2 stars DNA test not answered why 2 stars name change only maybe half point most writers seem to have this problem

His whining and crying as again most stories gets on my nerves

As Greeks said 2000 to4000 years ago love and hate opposite sides of coin

Seen many divorces don't know any where love didn't change to hate or at least extreme dislike a few casual ! acquaintances parted ways on good terms but I really believe no love to begin with

Hated ex wife for quite a while now only extreme dislike see her due to kids grandkids but hour or so my limit as is most of divorced friends

Please consider this when writing

A good little story with a reconciliation. She did cheat emotionally, if not physically and lied to her husband more than once. She did prove the baby was his and spent the year trying to find him,.so I can understand the reconciliation.

...wrote this story, and he obviously has a wife for each one.

It's either that, or it was written by a Gerbil in an alternative dimension where the usual rules of logic don't apply.

And they were growing among a lot of Crown Wheel trees.

By the way, may your Gog also be with you (the more I think about it, the more I think this story should be in the Humor section).

Janis or Cheryl, make up your mind

Absurd and pointless ending

Cheryl or Janice? Come on guy. And of course she will do it again just as soon as Jack comes back.

for another time, it's on my favorite list so I can find it easily, I still think her explanation is hinky at best. I still think he gave in too easily and accepted her half assed explanation. He also seemed to not have any problem with his parents just stepping in and helping her to track him down. But the best thing I got from this read was from the comments or should I say from the sum of the comments. She never once really apologized for what she did, not sincerely. And she never really said she didn't sleep with anyone else, she just said she never slept with Jack. That would certainly explain the DNA testing, which isn't really validated anywhere in the story. Working late a lot is not really a red flag, but all of the sudden working late a lot and then staying late on Christmas Eve should have been a flare. But one thing we keep forgetting in all of this. Our intrepid hero is a psychologist, that explains a lot of the weak sister aspects of his persona.

Detail...

Middle of pg. 2 — “He is yours Tom. When he was born the blood tests confirmed a blood match and I also had a DNA test done to make sure, to be able to prove to you he is your son and . . ."

But it is a Christmas story, so... it gets a pass.

5-stars & Favorite

Story is good, but after all is her Cheryl or Janice ?

that I was a spineless piece of shit cuck

DNA test does help him know that it is his son he would be raising but it doesn't prove she didn't have sex with anyone else. Just proves she was lucky it was his.

Cute christmas story but doesn't address how he gets trust back. Even if she didn't sleep with Jack she left to do just that and it was all luck that the guy walked in and saw her and that the pictures came over the phone. Had none of that happened she would have had sex.

Divorce and stay divorced. You can still see the kid if you want. Hell, bring your next wife over when you visit!

Umm if she never fucked Jack why did she need to get a DNA test?

She had to get a dna to make sure, which sort of says she had to make sure.

Yet says never sexed him.

She which statement was a lie?

She was dating as sh said went out several times with him.

She wanted to sex him but only religious guilt stopped her, not her vows or love of husband.

She was wasnt on birth control so was ok if someone else got her pregnant.

I just dont see enough justification to taker her back. The story was far to short and needed alot of writing to have the ending it did.

What you wrote was done very well, but story needed alot of work.

A couple of things that were off putting with this story. How the wifes name kept changing throughout and him just believing the kid was his with no proof. His thinking that he had slept with her those last weeks and taking her word on it was just stupid and unbelievable. And how he went on about how painful it was, only to pretty much take her back straight away, really?

Really good reconciliation story. She definitely fought to get him back.

That was a difficult reconciliation story. Lots of pain to spread around.

Excellent story but the easy reconciliation was completely unrealistic.

This guy seems to be really an unlucky guy...two wives Janice and Cheryl...both seem to be involved with Jack Baumgrtner...seriously dude...can’t ya read your crap atleast once before reposting?