The Pink Pearl Pt. 01

Author's Note: This is something I have been working on in lieu of WTE. Let me know if you'd like to see it continued. Thanks!

-JR

*

Alice sat gripping the steering wheel to her black Volvo station wagon her 13yr old son Gavin lovingly called, The Vulva. She was recently listening to her girlfriend Janis go on and on about how her sex life had 'taken off like a bottle rocket' since 50 Shades of Grey had graced the coffee table in her home. Alice had rolled her eyes then and she was doing it again now, only this time at herself. Now she found herself sitting in the bare parking lot of a strip mall containing a sex shop she intended to visit, though to be honest she couldn't even believe she was even stopped in this place at three in the afternoon. She too had taken home a copy of 50 Shades not only because it was this month's book club read but because she wanted to see what Janis wouldn't shut the hell up about. Thinking about it now, Alice wasn't sure if she was jealous of Janis or Janis's sex life. Then again if she knew that answer she wouldn't be sitting here trying to build up enough nerve to go in the sex shop and making up possible excuses as to why she was there, to begin with, if she happened to be caught. Alice's head dropped to her hands gripped to the steering wheel, the logistics to all of this was exhausting and giving her a migraine. After sitting up and briefly rubbing her temples, Alice turned on her car and sped out of the parking lot. There might come a day that she'd go into that adult store, but today sure as hell wasn't it.

After her inability to face her sexual curiosity, Alice had come home and thrown herself on the couch. She was angry at her cowardice, for Christ's sake she was a grown woman why in the fuck would she need to explain herself, to begin with? She needed some ibuprofen and that was before she realized that she'd messed up the throw pillows on her usually pristine couch. Alice lazily leaned forward and slid her dogeared copy of the book that Janis had loaned her off the coffee table and onto her lap. She was already agitated about her throw pillows why not add sexual frustration to the mix? The first few chapters of the book flew by so quickly she could see why people got all hot and bothered about it, there were even moments Alice couldn't even look up from the pages without her cheeks flushing sanguine. Alice laid the book back down in her lap only to ponder that maybe that was why she and her ex-husband had split up, the total and utter lack of excitement. Never mind the fact that Jason was a beige man, with a benign smile, and if Alice were being honest it was probably best, he was getting married to someone else now. Or at least that's what his Facebook profile read, to some woman named Eileen who happened to be just as insipid as he was.

She wasn't so much annoyed that Jason had found someone else, that wouldn't stop her four-figure alimony checks nor her four-figure child support checks for Gavin, Alice just felt as though her vagina were growing cobwebs. Yet, to be fair her vagina had gone into retirement well before she and Jason split. Alice just couldn't handle the lack of intimacy with him. She wasn't sure what was worse, the lack of sex, or when they actually had sex. Alice used to tell Janis she had 'Jury Duty' that night while the two of them had brunch at Voltaire's. So, it only seemed right that Alice would be seething about goddamned Janis, of all people, getting more dick than her. Annoyed, Alice stood, leaving her plethora of pillows on the floor only to slam the book on the bar before making her way to the master bedroom.

Monochromatic abstract paintings lined the halls of the hall, they gave Alice a small sense of satisfaction as her well-manicured fingertips brushed the edges of the canvases. Small way down the corridor she stopped and brushed her severe bib behind an ear to hear the sounds of moaning coming from the other side of Gavin's door. Alice closed her eyes and brought a hand to her face once it had dawned on her, Gavin was watching porn and had either forgotten to plug his headphones in or didn't care enough to bother. Oh, the joys of having a teenage boy in the house, Alice thought to herself. Now even her son was cumming more than her, great. She shrugged in resignation before making her way to her bedroom. She'd let Gavin have this one and just embarrass the shit out of him tomorrow by trying to guess the genre over pancakes.

It was moments like these Alice realized how much of a cardboard box her marriage to Jason really had been and how many years she spent having terrible sex. If it weren't for Janis and her goddamned 50 Shades of 'go fuck yourself' she wouldn't be having this existential crisis right now and would still be somewhat contented in her celibacy. Alice wrapped her long arms herself, frowned, and decided on a shower and some Advil. She closed her bedroom door, pausing a brief moment with her hand on the brass handle before locking it. Her sheened black bangs feel into her grey eyes and she was now regretting letting her hairstylist talk her into them, but to be fair they did make her look younger.

The master bath was nothing but clean geometric lines, infinitely white grout made all of the tiny tiles look like small ivory teeth. Plush white, black, and grey towels hung up on the stainless holders next to a jack and jill vanity which was also simple and of sharp lines. Alice liked the fact that it looked as though you could cut yourself on almost every surface in this room with its dark granite countertops, charcoal walls, and crisp modern faucets and cabinets. This room was nothing short of surgical and it brought her peace and a sense of control.

Alice shed her clothes like a serpent letting them pool around her bare feet. She'd had enough envy for one day and now she was going to use scalding hot water to rid herself of it. She turned on the water in her stand-in shower with multiple square heads before facing one of the mirrors and collecting her silken hair into a ponytail. With the water running as ambient noise Alice looked at her newly augmented breasts. The doctors had done a fine job, she thought to herself reaching up to touch a cream-colored supple breast, they were natural and pendulous, and she smiled.

Her smile faded into the shape of an 'o' as she began to roll a taut rosy nipple between forefinger and thumb. Amidst the tingling sensation, she felt radiating in her throughout her breast, a kinetic energy like a small electrical current took purchase in her abdomen. Alice admired her flattened stomach by sliding her free hand down the ripples of it, each muscle flexed under her touch. That was one thing if nothing else, Alice had retained her beauty and with a lot of hard work, her shape after Gavin was born. Alice was fifty-two and didn't look all of thirty-five, which was the age she'd had Gavin. She had been ten years Jason's senior and also the one to ask for the divorce.

Right now, all of those early morning lunges and runs were worth what she was looking at in the mirror, every line, and toned muscle that reflected at her in the mirror. Alice reached her hand further down her stomach and ran her fingers along the hairline of her curls, she wasn't a shaver like all the younger women she knew. She liked her bush, granted she kept it well maintained and her bikini lines waxed, Alice liked the way the dark curls covered her like a fig leaf. It was classy, she thought to herself as she dipped her hand a little further south combing her fingers through the coils at the shoreline of her sex. Alice continued to watch herself as the hot water began to turn the room into a sauna and cloud the mirror with steam.

She wanted to let a finger dip further but like a staring game, she always blinked first and removed her hand. There was something too bold about watching oneself, but each time Alice tried, every time without fail. Frowning at herself, Alice let her hands drop to her sides and let out a heaving sigh.

"Fucking Janis."

***

Petulant clouds loomed over the strip mall, rather that was ominous or not Alice didn't know and after her millionth failed attempt last night she didn't care either. Again, she found herself face to face with the 'adult store' feel like a shy teenager. Alice stared out of the windshield, this time she was in the Beemer. Only a few close friends knew that she owned the car and none of them would be on this side of town at this time of day. Well, unless they too were sitting outside of a taboo store trying not to act like the Cowardly Lion.

"Fuck it," Alice shut the car off and grabbed her purse, "Just fucking do it, Alison."

She pulled her broad-rimmed Ray-Bans over her eyes, got out, and briskly walked towards The Pink Pearl while locking the BMW at the same time.

The windows were darkly tinned which allowed the patrons their privacy. Alice glimpsed a sign that read 'please press button', she reached out a willowy finger and held down the white button that made no sound. She wasn't sure if she was disappointed or not about its silent scream. Alice liked that this place erred on the side of discretion, but this was borderline clandestine. She was jolted from her thoughts as a dim buzzer sounded and she pulled the door open.

Once inside she pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head, causing her inky hair to feather. DVDs and books neatly lined dark wooden shelves, spines out. There were labels above every shelving unit in a beautiful font identifying the particular genre: gay, lesbian, bondage, fisting, anal, BDSM, etc. The walls were a soft lavender color and the floors hardwood with a smattering of Persian rugs. With all of the wood in the space, Alice was beginning to wonder if it was meant to be a pun as well as décor. This place was not the least bit raunchy and didn't smell of artificial cherry lubricant and silicone-like she had been expecting. Alice's eyes widened at the obscene normality of the store, if she weren't paying closer attention, she would've mistaken this place for an independent bookshop.

"Can I help you?" a tall blonde woman with a southern lilt emerged from a back room. She had long ropy muscles and had to have easily been 5'10. Her long mane was pulled back into a ponytail and Alice noticed the ease and grace with which she moved around the counter to the computer.

"Uh, um," Alice's mouth was dry, she was expecting a sleazy teenager to greet her not this elegant gazelle, "I'm just looking around."

"Alright," she turned and leaned a hip against the desk the computer was resting on, arms crossed she smiled, "My name's Leslie. Lemme know if you need anything."

Alice swallowed hard and nodded, knowing that her feeble attempt at a return smile further signifying that she was new to all of this. If Leslie knew, she was kind enough not to mention it. Leslie turned back to the computer and Alice could hear the clicking of a keyboard behind her. She didn't know what to do now that the other woman was here, Alice didn't know if there was special etiquette here or what the hell one did. After about half an hour of aimless and fruitless wandering, Leslie put an end to her suffering.

"First time?" her husky melodic voices broke into Alice's anxiety-riddled thoughts.

"Uh, yeah," Alice laughed sheepishly and blushed. Alice's heart was a racehorse gone rogue.

"S'alright," Leslie tucked a hand in her pocket, "no reason to be nervous. And you're the only one in here right now if that makes you feel any kinda better?" She raised a brow at Alice.

"Mm-hmm," Alice's eyes were focused on Leslie's Ropers.

Leslie let out a slight chuckle, "Ma'am, I have nothing to sell you on my floor unless you'd like to buy one of my rugs. Which by the way are not for sale."

Alice looked up at Leslie and her face flushed again, "Sorry, I'm not. This isn't--"

"Relax," Leslie's gaze was soft. Alice noticed she had large honey brown eyes set in an androgenous angular face, a face that wouldn't be called beautiful so much as handsome.

"And I do like your rugs very much," Alice's face split into a smile, was she flirting?

***

Alice pulled into her garage with not with merchandise so much as a few good porn sites and a girl crush. Leslie had her start simple with hetero and work her way up so she wouldn't shock her system. Alice had made the comment about porn sounding a lot like antibiotics and maybe it wasn't a good idea after all. It surprised Alice just how uncomplicated and pleasant the whole experience had been, she couldn't wait to tell Janis. On second thought maybe she didn't want her BFF snooping around her new 'Narnia'. Janis had her book so it only seemed right to Alice that she could have her shop.

Alice's phone chirped and if it weren't for her daily Kegels probably would've scared the piss out of her.

"Janis," she laughed sardonically while swiping the line green button, "Fucking Beetlejuice."

"Well fuck you too Alice," Janis seemed annoyed, "I was calling to see if you wanted to do dinner tonight because I know Gavin is at a friend's house."

Alice couldn't stop laughing, "I meant it in the respect that I was just thinking about you and then you called. Why are your panties in such a bunch?" She leaned back in her leather chair and waited for her friend's new first world problem.

"Eric is working late again," Janis sighed loudly, Alice pulled the phone away from her ear.

"Your point?"

"He's got this new associate partner named Katie, Cathy..." Janis ranted.

"You mean Audrey?" Alice was still smiling. She only knew the woman's name because Eric and Jason worked together and possibly because she gave her son morning wood.

"Yeah, that's it. Audrey."

"I'm not seeing the forest for the trees, Janis. You're gonna have to help me out," Alice disconnected the Bluetooth and pinched her phone between her shoulder and cheek as she grabbed her purse and got out of the BMW.

"She started what? A month ago, was it?" Janis started in on her tirade, "And ever since then Eric has had to 'work late' at least three nights a week!" Alice could see Janis making air-quote.

"Janis," Alice dropped her keys and purse onto the bar, "I'd be doing you a grave disservice is I said you didn't have anything to worry about because your husband is a cockwhistle. BUT I will say that you've been telling me about all of this amazingly kinky sex you've been having. So why the fuck would he look elsewhere?"

At the end of that thought, Alice began to mentally tally up the differences between Audrey and Janis. Audrey had legs all the way up to her ass, long auburn hair that fell in impossibly perfect curls around a heart-shaped face, and tits even Alice couldn't help but stare at. Janis on the other was classically pretty with her petite frame and shoulder-length blonde hair that fell in salon-style waves. Janis was also about 6yrs older than the new associate. When standing on her own Janis was a knockout but even Cinderella looks plain standing next to a Jessica Rabbit doppelgänger like Audrey.

"The sex has become rather--" Janis cut herself short.

"Vanilla?" Alice attempted to finish her best friend's sentence.

"YES!" Janis exalted like she'd been waiting for someone else to point it out so she wouldn't have to say it out loud herself.

"Janis, honey," Alice pushed a few strands of hair behind an ear and tried not to laugh, "at least it's not Jury Duty."

This comment made Janis erupt with laughter, "Alison Grace McKenny what would I ever do without you?"

"Probably have dinner alone and no one to rub good sex stories into their faces?" Alice shifted her weight.

"Voltaire's at 8," Janis didn't ask so much as told Alice.

"Wouldn't miss it," Alice hung up and shook her head at her phone, "Fucking Beetlejuice."

***

Alice approached the maître d'.

"Yes madam, how can I be of service?" the cranelike gentleman gave Alice an approving once over. Though Voltaire's was casual dining for brunch the restaurant maintained a strict formal dress code for dinner. For the occasion, Alice has chosen a form-fitting little black dress with a backline cut so low it when as far as to reveal the dimples above her shapely hind end. Alice accented all of this with her 4-inch red bottoms, an obsidian comb pulling back one side of her bob to expose and ear, and 2ct diamond stud earrings that created technicolor reflections. Her ensemble had obviously been up to snuff based on the gleam in the maître d's eye. The man finished tracing the outline of Alice's crimson lips with his eyes before meeting her gaze again.

Alice let him drink her in and then answered, "Janis Windsor, she's expecting me." Her voice was a note above a purr; the man shivered.

Without looking at the manifest he moved from behind his pulpit, "This way Ms."

The maître d' shot stern looks at the various patrons who began to grumble, after all, he'd checked the manifest and made them wait.

Alice followed behind the tall man and admired the grace with which he moved between the tables. Voltaire's wasn't necessarily a tightly packed place so to speak, there were just a lot of treys left for the dinners to pick from. The ambiance was chiaroscuro, expensive sconces bathing everything in warm gold light. Alice's heels click-clacked against a polished coal colored marble floor, it glinted and glittered as though someone has sprinkled handfuls of moonstones all over the place. The gilded crown molding overhead helped maintain the Midas touch as rearing horses emerged from the joints in the ceiling. Alice always found this place beautiful, which made Janis giggle because this wasn't to her taste at all.

A few minutes later the maître d' showed Alice to a table near the center of the room where Janis stood to greet her.

"You bitch," Janis reached to give Alice an air kiss, "did you plan to outdo me on purpose or are you gonna give the 'this old thing' line?"

The man seemed taken aback by Janis' vulgarity like he's just seen a swan open its mouth and let out a high-pitched scream. His wide eyes had made Alice laugh.

"That'll be all Allan," Janis shooed him away. Allan seemed momentarily stunned.

"Now see what you've gone and done?" Janis said in mock frustration, "your beauty has made all the blood in his body rush to his penis and now he can't think straight."

"Jesus Janis," Alice chortled, "I'm pretty sure it's your vulgarity that's got him all jammed up. Allan, are you alright?" Alice turned her gaze up at the man.

"Uh, yes Ms.," and with a smile to Alice and a very curt nod to Janis, Allan resumed his post back upfront.

"You look beautiful by the way," Alice picked up the drink menu. Janis smiled wryly. Janis had worn a silk emerald-colored dress that looked as though it had been painted on, the capped sleeves fell just off her shoulder, and her blonde hair had been pulled into a mess of curls on the top of her head. Alice couldn't help but stare at the gaudy thick linked gold chain Janis had yoked around her neck. Even though Janis was about 3yrs younger than Alice, she always looked older because she tried so hard with her appearance.

"Oh, this old thing?" Janis cackled and waved a hand at her friend.

"Yeah, old. I can still see the tags Janie," Alice rolled her eye. About that time the sommelier and a waiter appeared.

"Good evening ladies," the sommelier spoke in a lulling soft accent, "is there a wine I can start you out with tonight?" His eyes rested hungrily on Alice.

"Sure," Janis said a smidge louder than she'd meant to, "I'll take the best ya got."

The sommelier smiled slightly and nodded, "And for you miss?" He turned to Alice.

"Oh no," Alice looked at him with apologetic eyes before turning to the waiter, "whiskey on the rocks. WhistlePig if you have it."