All Comments on 'The Play Ch. 02'

He needed to have some revenge!!

.... "led to my wife and I separating." It's "led to my wife and me separating." Try looking up the objective and subjective form of the English personal pronoun in any basic English grammar book. If you're going to write for publication, you have something of an obligation to get correct the language you have chosen.

get some balls

Enough said.

The wimpy husband was the loser.

Leaving in his caravan with nothing.

Leo gets the wife, the house, and the last laugh.

Almost as bad a story as The Lady Captains Year.

He quit his job, walked away from his home and now lives in a camp trailer at a camp ground while the cheating wife and her lover are now living in the house he paid for. What a winner.

fawguy88 is like so many writers on this board; incapable of writing a strong male character. It's just not in his/her makeup.

You, Matt Monroe, Gayeagle666 are three of the most fucked up butt munchers in the UK. It makes me sad that humans like you exist. Makes me sad for the real writer on this site.

This is how you ended this? After ch.1 I saw a lot of promise but now all I see is a rushed ending and an unacceptable conclusion. What the fuck?

Damn

The character of Leo should have been developed much more in first chapter, to make the true betrayal strike home for the reader. This really was a grand idea with mega potential. Too bad, the author doesn't yet own the skills to pull it off. The dialogue was florid and melodramatic making it impossible to be completely absorbed.

The idea of Jess weepily repenting on nation-wide broadcast was a good one. Ambiguity was raised in my mind. Was there a chance she meant it ? Discovering Leo immediately upon return was a gaffe. Gerry should have been repudiated allowing the narrator to become secure THEN Leo should have been outed as true villain.

I want to give fawguy88 credit for 'trying' to execute his current dramatic brainchild off. In doing so, he shows more daring & nerve then his 'he-man critics' . I regard this story as a failure, but an exciting one in it's ambition & potential. This author has some very good stories to his credit with albeit an equal or greater number of clunkers ( to my persnickety taste) .

I thank fawguy88 for his effort. In my opinion, if he had more time to fully explore and develop his usually daring premises, this author would be one of the top ranked in Luterotica.

Good story but would have loved him to appear on that same TV show to give his side of the story and then see what the repercussions and public opinion would have been for her and her lovers.

Keep them coming.

I could have respected most of this if you had let him take the truth to the media where the kids, community, and country for that matter would know what kind of slut she was. It should have cost her her job, Leo his appointment and perhaps Gerry some face. People don't have to be sold into slavery for them to get what they deserve. Your contrite ending was sorely disappointing and fully let down the readers from an otherwise good read, especially chapter one.

As I came to this part "...Sure she made mistakes, but so did you. You know better than I, what opportunities, if any, you had to prevent what happened or nearly happened. She's right in one respect, it's make up your mind time, whether it's fight or flee, but I wouldn't wait too long, she's a fine looking woman and the hounds will be out sniffing around very soon..." I knew the plot was lost and it became an indicator that you will always side with the female character regardless of how contemptible she might be. How would you think the idiot bartender would react to the truth? Probably different than I would. Looked forward to this with caution and, unfortunately, my cautious thought was right. I think I'll go ahead and call you a bastard but this time won't be tongue-in-cheek.

This had the makings of being a good story, but you chose to rush it to a blah ending. So sad...

Would've been better and would receive better rating if you had really burned the bitch and castrated "lover-boy Leo" publicly. You should consider rewriting this chapter.

sic'd the police on to them about public displays of sex.

the ending ruined the story for me. Its not bad, just expecting something more.

You write better. Than that to kill a good start for a shitting ending. I do not get it.you better rewrite part two I am so disappointed in this ending . Just like that he goes home to. Find her screwing another now she is a slut for bigger cocks. Kills a marriage for what..week ending or just terrible. Your worst ending ever.

Her intriguing, cheating and even her public lies had absolutely no consequences for her. Not even a divorce based on the proven adultery was considered. Instead, he gave her the house so that she could move her lover in and celebrate the victory over her dumbassed little man. It has been stated here that you have ruined it..I agree..

That reaction is far from all reality. By the way: What kind of a stupid son does he have, who, knowing what happened, tried to get her used cunt and his father together again? Righto: His son could make carreer als master-cuckold later on. I am sure you would like writing that..I am absolutely disappointed that you are wasting that much talent.

I SO nailed this and called you out in my comments for chapter one. The only redeeming factor is that you had enough sense to end this quickly and not drag it out over a few more chapters ending with the same conclusion you reached here. A lot of things don't make sense to me about the motivations of these characters in this chapter. 1)why AFTER learning about the REAL affair would it make on shit of difference whether she admitted that Gerry slipped it in her on stage or not? Tom always knew the truth. 2)if she was getting big cock sex from Leo, what is the motivation to want to stay with Tom and try to save the marriage? Why would she be begging him to return? She was caught in lies, and forced to come clean, but tells the truth(?) with little remorse for the destruction of the marriage and 2 months after the divorce is married to Leo. So why was she fighting the original idea of the divorce initiated with the play? She had obviously moved on already. And it sounded like the affair with Leo had been going on for years. so 3)why didn't he ask her why she didn't confront him and end the marriage sooner? Why was she trying to save a marriage one minute (through the use of lies and further deception), and then so ready to walk away from it the next? 4) Why did you spend so much time building up for an emotional roller coaster in chapter one, only to rush through an essentially anti-climatic confrontation/confession in chapter 2? It was too rushed, too brief, and too devoid of any real emotion. Even the descriptions of the altercation between Leo and Tom on the front porch were rushed and unsatisfying. Sorry Fawguy, despite high hopes, from me this only rates a 2 overall. I encourage you to spend more time working out your passages of dialogue in the future. Keep trying to improve.

This author is a candyass wimp with shit for brains. 1 star

Boy, what a surprise that Leo had a bigger cock.

A nice big 1 because I'm feeling generous.

In the end, the cheaters were right, he's a fat, bald pussy.

Would have been stronger if he decided to mirror the play "You showed me how you wanted this to end" and pulled out a gun, even if he didn't use it. Just scare the shit out of them.

And she marries him? He treats her like a slut and all and she actually marries him? What a bitch.

Someone needs to dig a really big and deep hole and throw all these slut whores and the fuck heads in it and pour a few thousand gallons of a very flammable liquid over them and then light a match to it .

OK, going to have to get this down because this has pissed me off so much and I'm going to be in a shitty mood all day unless I do - I was so looking forward to the conclusion of this story and now it's here and it's just...diabolically bad.

Lets try and put some constructive criticism in place.

Firstly, the writing is not that bad. It's not great, but it's certainly a step above most of the dross on Lit Erotica, that's for sure.

The premise is great. She's getting it, on stage, in front of everyone and only they know. The "Did they or didn't they" aspect is great and intriguing and well done.

But the characters - oh god. The Bar man, for example. Who cares what he has to say? He's not a compelling character - he's not established as a friend, or someone who's opinion is cared about? Who gives a fuck what some barkeep in the pub says? This guy is seriously basing what to do about a cheating wife based on what a man in the pub said? Wow. No establishment as a character of interest, matter or worth, but there his is, influencing the main characters path, simply because the narrative drives it that way. It makes zero sense and is one of the many things here that derail this.

Ok, so she's a shit wife, cheating and lying and with zero remorse. She's ONLY sorry she got caught. She goes on National TV and lies her ass off and there is ZERO recompense for that. The end of the story, she gets the house, the lover and national sympathy and he, who is betrayed all the way down the line gets fuck all.

What kind of story is that? What story are you attempting to tell here? She's a douchebag and completely gets away with it? Surely you see how that's just going to piss off everyone? It's not compelling - the protagonist is NOT a wimp - he lays the guy out - but yet he just lays down and takes it? What the hell? It's frustrating, depressing and inherently extremely unsatisfying. You set this up as a BTB story (and I'm not saying that's what this had to be) but the ending just peters out and is extremely frustrating. There needs to be At Least parity here, and there just isn't. It's unjust, unbalanced and, well, limp.

It's even more frustrating because the premise IS good. It's NOT badly written - you have some talent and then it's just wasted with a narrative that doesn't fit together, the characters behave in ways that no real person would - at least in terms of responses - and the main character just limply walks away.

I don't know what else to say. Very Very disappointing ending to an interesting start.

I've just been reading a lot more of the stories by this author, and they all seem to have the same issues in common.

People say one thing and then do another "Oh, she's a great mother" says the protagonist, but all the evidence is exactly the other way. It's like bland justifications for plots that don't really work.

And the endings are just weak. They are almost all the way through these stories. Interesting premise, not badly written, that just go no where.

A suggestion. Start writing with the premise and the ending, and work your way from the start to the end. Have a definitive ending in mind rather than allowing the stories to peter out. You generally have a good first and second act, but the third act just...ends. Start with the third act. Have something compelling to get to. I think that would help. Just a thought.

By the way, kudo's for actually writing anything at all. Most people just comment and never write anything, so major score for actually writing stuff and putting it out in the world.

Why didn't he, after divorcing her ass, go back and let the world know what a slut she was. It wouldn't have hurt him any as he had disappeared and she had the fat one to keep her company and pay her bills. After all, the School District wouldn't keep her after the news hit the tabloid and he could have gotten more than 10k for the story.

I don't see the problem of him leaving his slut of a wife. So what he didn't get violent and go Rambo on Leo and Gerry. This does not make him a wimp. I'm glad he didn't fight them over her used up ass. Who is to say she won't cheat on Leo too. Leo may end up cheating himself if what Jess said is true about him being jealous.

The end of the story was straight to the point and lacked a little flair but I'm not mad at the outcome.

Absolute waste of time

Her ass needed to be burnt badly. Instead, she was handled with velvet gloves.

The only thing lacking is revenge. She was clearly a cold hearted bitch that had no feelings whatsoever for her husband. Why did you have her wanting him back, and then falling into bed with the very man who pushed her husband away? This is clearly a flaw in the story. There is no authentic emotions involved in the telling of this tale. That's a shame, because it was very creative.

This has to be one of the worst endings you ever did, you had a great start and it's not like you just to blow a story off like this.so what happened here..? All of sudden he goes home and finds his loving wife is a whore and all he does is walkout , give her the house so she can fuck this ugly guy with a bigger dick.gives her half their money and just becomes a wimp .then she marries the dick . Wow did you blow this great start off into the garbage dump. I know you can do a hell of a lot better than that. Like I said what happened here for you do kill this one?

He beats the shit out of the guy fucking his wife but then just leaves and she gets everything. No ay. He should have made the devoice very, very public so she as fired, the people involved in the play sued. and he should have got the house. She should have been humiliated and the lovers sued for AF. This as a bad, bad ending. YOU should consider rewriting it.

Right up till the ending you had a real winner going. Then you gave the wife a pass and let the husband remain screwed. You had a 5 going, I gave you a 3 but on 2nd thought it should have been a one because of the ending. The story line and writing were exceptional. It's hard to believe you screwed it up so badly.

The story was excellent, the ending spoiled it. It was too rushed, as though you wanted to get it over and done with.

He handled himself with dignity until the end. She gets the house and the lover who humiliated him and he gets a trailer by the sea! 5* for the story, 1* for the ending.

The story was fine on its own merits, and didn't require one. Not everyone wants the hassle and mess of a divorce - he's already been put through the public wringer once, and like with Gerry, he doesn't have any proof she did anything with Leo. Which makes for a godawful divorce, and if he tries to leave with everything, the law gets involved. I realize that there are a lot of dumbfuck stories where the cheated husband is a criminal mastermind, but get real and get over the ending. I like the BTB endings too, but sometimes the clean cut is the best. Bye bye bitch, never again.

I was going to start off this comment about a job well done, about a story that engaged me as a reader. A good test of a chapter 1 is the desire to check the next day to read the next chapter.

It's unfortunate that most of the people that leave comments on stories in this category equated "quality of story" with an "ending they want". How many comments started out with "what a great start but the ending sucked" (paraphrased)

I do hope many of the commenters that write this type of feedback approach life with a different attitude that they do the LW category, otherwise they are doomed to many suffrages. Often life is not fair and at times can be a bitch. No one is promised a happy ending, sometimes the best you can do is a negotiated settlement.

One comment mentioned something about Leo being a winner? Really? What exactly did he win of value? Tom lost the house? True ... he also gave her the mortgage.

He should have vilified her in the press? She already had a u-tube video video going viral chronicling her cheating, despite her claims to the contrary on the "morning show". Any attempt at further publication would have revealed his role of standing to the side and doing nothing, of his ignorance of an ongoing affair prior to play.

AriesGirl has it correct, there is no need for Tom to go Rambo. He simply needed to extricate himself from the sharks and let them feed on each other.

Unfortuantely FG, you won't get a good score on a story worthy of it due to the acidic nature that seems to predominate some of the readers. But you can take solace in the fact that by the howling deep from their cores, your story has engaged them.

He left her and that is what I asked for. He beat on the predator and that is good. Somehow though I would have been more satisfied if it was clearly stated that she lost her job. I really am against violence because it can put the original victim on the wrong side of the bars. But I really felt a need to punish the SOB's!

How did the future relations of the sons make out..?? Again I am not asking to write more but just pointing out that you started the line and then did not use it...

I dont care if you BTB or not but this resolution sucked. He has to live in a trailer park and she jumps into the arms of the guy she things purposefully worked to destroy her marriage.

And even to the end she is belittling him while saying she wanted to work things out.

Maybe it is a cultural thing but this was just a sad bit of story. THe first part had so much more character and drama.

I thought part 1 was good. Couldn't wait to read part 2. Liked most of part 2 up to the point where he went back home. Sorry but the ending sucked.

She ends up with the family home and married to Leo. Guess she really didn't care about him did she. He ends up on the road and maybe with a potential girl friend....hardly seems fair but then life isn't very fair is it?

. . . makes a fire explode; this time it put the fire out. Adding Leo to the mix just didn't work for me. This second act of The Play had no spark. If I had been in the audience I would have yelled out "Put your clothes back on; you will look better."

He needed more revenge now that she shit all over him.she walks away and marries mr big dick. I don't get it. I would have socked her to just to make her remember the shit that she pulled. It seems he really got screwed over big time. Do you feel she deserved more than walking away. After a long marriage and the children they had what in her mind made her such a whore? She had no regrets when caught.

i don't know of any i have read that were worst then this one, they had the I.Q. of a turnip that being the main character and the author. A true waste of ink.

Having read most of your work, I know you're not a BTB author for the most part. However, this story SCREAMS for the protagonist to get some measure of revenge, respect, and his own dignity back. Please consider adding one more chapter. We know this is just a fictional story (we hope), and I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants if see the good guy come out ahead in the end. Thanks for the story, I enjoyed it thoroughly and felt the emotions.

Thanks,

Dave

Good story. Could have filled out the characters in the second part but that's not worth all this negativity. Sheesh!

The problem with these types of tales is that you set up the story with a wife that is supposed to be a "soul mate", then you turn her into a scheming slut, without any transition. The truth is that selfish, scheming people are always that way and if you spend any time with them it is easy to see this. True sociopaths, such as the wife in this tale are not really all that good at concealing their true nature. After years of living with her, he would have known this. So, these tales are more like the nightmares of insecure men than the reality of a cheating wife. I have met several cheating whores, and the are all the same, good looking selfish women who do not want to do their jobs, they want a free ride one way or the other. It is clear within minutes of meeting these despicable women. (Men are just the same)

its just read the lines and wait for the curtain, TK U MLJ LV NV

The sum of parts was indeed weak.

The wife's motivations seem unexplained.

The husband's actions seem incongruent with his character.

Gerry, while young, really didn't seem all that attractive.

Leo, I don't really know, so hard so say much about him.

Realistic ending, unfortunately. If a hubbie was screwed over, even as much as this poor guy, by such an awful, deceitful bitch, and her incredible asshole friends, in real life the story line would probably be little other than him walking away. Like here. BUT THAT IS NOT WHY WE COME HERE TO READ THESE STORIES. I DON'T WANT A REALISTIC ENDING; THEY'RE TOO DEPRESSING! BTB!! Destroy these other ass hat deceitful conspirators. If wanted a psychological beatdown and looked for ways to get really depressed I'd read the obits or politics section of the news. This story is just repeated public humiliation by the wife and her friends, a couple of half assed counterpunches, several lives and dreams destroyed, and then our hero slinks off. WTF?!?! DEPRESSING!! In keeping with the theme of continual frustration, abuse and loser mentality of hubbie, why didn't you just add at the end he then developed a terminal disease, died and they all gathered to piss on his grave and chant, "Life goes on?"

And this kind of thing happens in Britain's Am Dram groups on a regular basis!

The whore and her fuck buddy are living in his house, while he lives in a caravan. I think this needs another "Something to talk about. Apocalypse" by IronDragon to sort these two low lives out.

This story turned from potentially good to straight shit.

A good effort! Liked the television interview plot device. I felt the time away to decide was reasonable, the guy up until the play had a "happy family" with two sons. You would have to think about what you are throwing away.

The strange car in the drive when you get home was a bit of a short cut. The wife has been on TV pleading her innocence and then her lover arrives and parks in front of the house? Also the barmans part wasn't very well explained, how did he know he was the husband.

Some of the commentor's need to read a bit more carefully, she gets the house and the MORTGAGE! So she ends up with Leo, that's sure to end in more tears.

4*

was she ever a real soul mate to him or was he just good enough until something

better came along? some women look into a mirror and see something

that isn`t real. he is better off without her. the money hungry bitch. could be

a true life tale. like it but not the women.

I never cease to be amazed at how so many Lit.com writers start of with a well conceived story and then mangle it at the end. The cuck husband ends up eating shit while the filthy wife gets it all. How courageous of the husband essentially to wave the white flag and cut and run. While he had to divorce her, he could have at least revealed to friends, parents, children, etc. what a whore she was before departing the scene. Not a bad story, but ruined by the ending.

It would have been great if he pulled the sheet off them. She's there naked on stage full of cum, he has witnesses, and he gets his divorce, and she's embarressed on top.

I did not even know it would be possible to write such a shit and a) think it's erotic and b) anywhere close to be finished where all that scum would get what they diserved.

Good start, good middle, fucked up ending. OR-

Maybe this is not the end. I will withhold voting for a few days to see if another chapter emerges.

I sure hope this was not the end.

Why write a story where someone gets fucked over by everyone and gets no justice or revenge. What was the point, not erotic, just fucked up.

You had many good devices in the story line that were so unexpected, but that is how life is, unexpected! I love a good cheating story, especially if it is not too cucky. A good deal of your readers were hoping for more revenge from hubby. I suppose that it is better to live well and that is the best revenge. The only problem is she successfully remarried and he is unsure in his new relationship. He lost his job and home and did not do well in the end. Ouch. He did hit his wife's lover. Well good story regardless *****

After reading this section this morning I have been feeling sad for the rest of the day.

The end seems so sudden, and not one that was expected, that's for sure. I just think somehow hubby should have taken wifey to see if her hormones werre not all messed ulp. Not that she was blameless by a long shot but women around her age do sometimes do strange and different actions from what she had been doing up to this point.

I do hope that there is another chapter or two. This ending just doesn't sit well.

Sad story but glad that Jess did tell the truth and I believe if they did get back together that Leo would of been in the picture in some manner or form. Well written.

There is no way the husband takes wife's story so calmly. Not after the way he took out Leo. I am surprised husband didn't crush Leo's balls as Leo lays on porch. He would kick wife to the curb after her explanation of events. He has power to destroy the drama club and some of the members. No way he ridez off the way it ends.

If I've ever read about a whore and her friends that needed the scorched earth policy these people are it. But no the wimp just rides off in his little caravan. Pathetic. Don't know why I even wasted my time read it.

Physical revenge on the men by fucking them up, and monetary revenge on all three of them by using his powerful friend to break them into poverty.

He could have sold his side of the true story to the news, and showed just how much of a slut his wife really is.

It's just too bad he had to put up with her and find out what a cold and conniving slut she really was.

The author made all of the characters come alive and cause the character of the husband to draw sympathy from this reader.

Well done.

Thanks for the good read.

Is a good word for this tale, the first chapter left it open what happened, but the second part fell all over itself. The ending makes no sense, on the one hand she puts up this big effort to show that she loves him, yet she is screwing Leo while supposedly pining for him. So now she is a cold hearted bitch, and what does he do? He limps away, leaves her the house and so forth, no idea of getting even, nothing, and she lets him win. And the ending with her is like eating sugar, in the end it leaves you empty, it the end it makes no sense, he just walks away from a woman he supposedly loves and is hurt over. At the very least, is Jessica really the size queen slut, did she really hate Tom that much, and if so, why didn't she simply just divorce him, why did she have to humiliate him? This just doesn't click, Jessica basically is a contradiction, not a person.

Granted, you've come a little distance since you turned all men into willing cuckolds but - you cut this story too short and disappointed your readers.

He should have tempted the tabloids to pay him for an interview, did the TV interview and exposed her for what she had done.

She wasn't a slut but an adulterer/ I think, if hubby didn't know about Leo and the stage fuck that Leo would have slowly put her in a position again and again to where she would end up having sex with his friends and be his slut, she was easy and not that difficult to push into it.

Doing the interviews would serve her right, Leo probably would not have married her but would definitely use her.

Anyway, you really needed to put some reaction, SOME revenge or payback in place - even an honest businessman with no anger issues would have, at least, given her reputation a little exposure.

Wimp

... it's not realistic that he didn't attempt to get back at the guys and his wife in some manner. Maybe not a full fledged nuking, but I can see several potential avenues. One being a lawsuit against the theater production.

The ending seemed rushed.

Hubby tells us about his anger several times, and of his temptation to take actions to thwart the ctprap that was going on. However, except for punching the Real Bull and raising his voice once as Sweetie was calmly explaining just exactly how much disrespect she held for him, Hubby was as cool as a clam! Even with his subsequent dissolution of the marriage. Sorry, but it doesn't compute.

Came really close!

4*

that didn't need telling. *

Please quit writing and crawl back under the cess-pool rock you escaped from - asshole!

Did you write this just to get comments? The first chapter was so heart-wrenching with all the uncertainty, but not only do you just outright admit she's a slut, you add another guy we never expected. And give him some random reason to boot. You didn't bother fleshing out Leo in the same way you did Gerry, so her affair with him just feels flat. In fact, after the big reveal when he gets to the house a finds Leo there, it all just falls flat. You could have literally said THE END and created a better ending than this. There's so many things wrong with this story, I hope another author comes along and writes the ending this story deserves.

I rarely look forward to the next chapter; but this story I couldn't wait! Great characters, great plot, nice twist in Ch. 2...but I'm sorry I did not care for the ending. Her cavilier attitude when explaining both infidelities, and her winning in the end (married her big dicked lover and got the house). And the husband leaves town, changes jobs, and lives in a camper. It didn't have to be a BTB (although it should have) but at least a little pain for the wife and her lover!!!

But ended up a one. I agree with some of the other commenters you have some talent for writing but you don't seem to know how to finish your stories lets look at this one. Part one has a good plot and lays the groundwork for an interesting part two but it starts to fall apart with the scene with the barmen, from there Tom goes home to find that Leo is fucking his wife and yet despite you writing that he is angry what does he do while Jess tells him that she not only did she fuck Gerry but she's been fucking Leo for months and it's Toms fault,his response is to sit there like a bitch while she informs him that Leo has a bigger cock and a better lover, that their friends know that she has been with both Leo and Gerry.

The story just seemed to enter a bizarro world where dispute this video has become a national story she hasn't been sacked from her job and there isn't any reporters parked outside her house talking photos of Leo getting the shit kicked out of him and her being the slut that everyone thinks she is it just made no-sense.

Why if Leo is jealous of Tom because of his sucessful job and money why isn't he afraid of Toms friends in high places and what they could do to his life if Tom Asher then to? Wh if Tom is so sucessful in business as you say would he give her the house with nothing in return? Surely if he was givng her a house worth several hundred thousand pounds he would want around half it's value even if she was getting the mortgage he would still get something in the divorce.

When Jess moves Leo into the house wouldn't the sons turn on her? It just doesn't seem realistic that even after seeing the video and subsequently there would be little to no chance that they would want their dad to stay with her and also a good chance that they would cut her out of their lives if only temperealy.

Sorry for writing an essay but you had a good plot idea, a good part one but you blew it with an extremely weak ended that made little to no-sense and had your main characters acting totally unlike they had been written before.

YES.... This IS a cuck story. Not only did she fuck another man for years. . Not only did she fuck the guy on stage.... But uses the UK media in a massive evil twsited conspiracy and lie...

And NOTHING bad happens to her. Millions still think she is a "victim of circumstances"

And knowing how calm & reasonable the british media is.... The non reaction of the british media is 1000000000% believable.

In short what we have hear is ANOTHER UK WIMP story

There are so many better conclusions to this story. Great start but terrible ending. Why should he leave? Why does the lover win? How about some revenge, some justice for the husband. How about him going on TV with a tape recording of her confession, how about sueing and getting some payback on Gerry. Hard to get an acting job ith a smashed face or broken legs. How about suing Leo for alienation and arrange an accident that leaves him unable to walk or have sex or whatever. What about him at least giving her a a verbal send- off and tossing her out the door.

then fuck you and the horse you rode in on

Several observations . . . First, better editing would improve the technical aspect of the writing. There were lots of errors in this part that lent choppiness to the read. Second, problems with the plot. I don't penalize the score for a story simply because I prefer a different ending, but I do if the ending totally lacks credibility. Hubby would not simply walk off, he would try to get even, it's just human. Even if it were just wearing a tape recorder to their "reconciliation" meeting, then outing the guilty.

Third, in the real world, there would be enough litigation to keep a cadre of lawyers busy for quite a stretch. Certainly Leo and the production company would be sued for serious damages as part of Hubby's revenge. There might even be grounds for naming Jess in a complaint (for lying on TV). I'm not familiar with British law, but I bet there are creative lawyers in the UK who could come up with something.

Finally, this chapter makes no rational argument to support Jess's claim that she really loves her husband. Clearly she does not, as shown by her actions. She does not exhibit remorse, she cares not how she hurts him, in fact, she tries to shift the blame to him for not being a good lover, for getting fat, etc. The story gets high marks for its nausea quotient, but drops to three stars for my score.

This 2 part series had so much promise after chapter 1. Then it all goes to hell when the wife admits that she's just another cheating slut. Not enough revenge on Gerry and Leo. But what a stupid woman!! Trying to get her husband back for a reconciliation and still screwing around on him. Yeah, that works. Hope your cheating cunt rots and falls off.

Fully Cucked 56 times makes FullCuckold56 the expert on all things cuck, he's tasted so many creampies he identified the bull had been in the onion patch!

I think you tried to the best of you limited ability to have a no wimp ending, but just didn't have it in you to quite pull it off.

Ah well keep trying, at least you didn't keep the poor schlep married to the slut wife.

It's like a different person wrote this chapter than the one who wrote part 1.

Part 2 was a complete let down like you could not be bothered to pursue a half decent ending but just wanted to end the story as easily as possible. Pity because part 1 had potential, maybe 'finishthedamstory' will rewrite a better conclusion.

The wife got away telling lies to everyone.A pocket cam could do some NICE damage with her lies.

I know of the real case of that, and the son didnt forgive his mother even today, almost fifteen years later.

Chapter 1 was clever with lots of tension and surprises. I was looking forward to the next one. Chapter 2 began well. The interview with the wife was brilliant. She was playing the role of the loving wife and trying to used the media to rehabilitate her image and get her husband back. While I found it improbable that she would allow her lover to park in front of her house during this media frenzy, I thought your development of that scene was great.

The story just fell off track when she comes in after sending her beaten up lover away. No remorse just excuses. Her account of how her relationship with Leo rang true. Looking back Leo's encouragement of her seduction makes sense - Leo liked treating her as a slut. The problem is Jess didn't want to be exposed to the world as a slut. The natural ending would have been for the husband to use his 15 minutes of fame to expose his wife as the lying bitch she is. This is what would have hurt her the most - the truth. She never would have ended up with Leo and would have hidden away in shame.

Thank you for the time spent writing the story. Hope you can finish the next one better.

This story completely fell apart on the last page. She got married with no comeuppance, he didn't even get the revenge of a life well lived. Fizzle!

So many places this could have gone to improve the story. You picked aboyt the worst ending possible.

I can't beleave I got caught again, after this guys? last submission, I promised my self I would't waste my time reading any more of this guys dribble

Again 1*

It's always a comedy with these WACC Brits. Wimp Ass Castrated Cuckolds

She had no remorse, didn't even apologize and pretty much laid the blame for her cheating at his feet. Then he leaves his life (work, friends, house, etc.) she marries her lover and moves him into their home while he lives in a trailer. Great Story I thought these stories were supposed to be fiction. There was no downside for her behavior. She said she wanted to remain married but really wasn't passionate about it. She even blamed Leo for her fucking Gerry in the play. At least you could have said she and Leo ended up getting divorced or the kids wanted nothing to do with Leo and their mom and still don't talk to her. No justice, not even natural consequences. Just a Piss Poor Ending.

The set up has been very effective in capturing my interest. I don't feel able to offer a rating at this point until an ending of one sort or another can offer a bit of closure.

Love the story, and the characters. Need to know what happened.

Lousy finish.

Typical

Wow, could this have ended any worse -- 1...

...I agree with many comments about the ending. And I would love if there was a ch 3.

Total collapse. This story ended like a helium balloon after a couple of weeks. Ignored, laying on the floor waiting to be popped, and finally thrown out. Not even a memory.

Much ado about nothing.

She cheated and married her lover they got a divorce end of story.

You really hung the horns on that guy,but it evoked a response from me.

I wish I had read the comments first though ,I never would have read the story.

To much man hating.

Sorry needed a far better ending. BTB... But just another story where the woman is entities to cheat because she feels like it, while poor clueless tiny dicked hubby is left out in the cold, never seeming to want a woman anyway. At least it didn go RAAC.

The ending just sucks. An unapologetic bitch of a wife and no down stroke on her or her lover.