The Pleasure Cruise Ch. 05

"I'm glad you could tear yourselves away from fucking long enough to have lunch with us," Lauren stated the obvious.

"Gotta replace those calories and keep hydrated," Allison mumbled sheepishly.

"It's obviously not going to be a long-term relationship," Oliver added. "Oregon to Maryland is just way too long of a distance to be functional. But we're having fun while we can."

"I think having vacation flings has been good for everyone at this table," I said. "I'm also really happy to have been the one to introduce you."

"Thanks, Sean," Allison and Oliver said together. They looked lustily at each other again.

"Should we let you get back to bed?" Lauren asked, raising her eyebrow knowingly.

"I'm not used to having other people knowing when I'm having sex," Allison said sheepishly, still unable to meet Lauren's or my gaze. "But whatever, it's cool. I already set a new personal best for most times getting it on in one day yesterday. Today we're trying to break the record. I'm going to be so sore tomorrow." I noticed her hand moving under the table, and Oliver's reaction indicated she was starting to touch him in a strategic area.

"Get a room," Lauren ordered, smiling.

"I think we will," Oliver said quickly, standing up. "Thanks again, both of you."

We hugged to say goodbye, and then they were gone, disappearing in a hurry towards the elevator.

"They're so cute," I began. "I've had weekends like that."

"Me too," Lauren agreed. "It's that first onset of lust that just won't go away when you first get together with someone new. I miss having the kind of day where you have to keep pausing the movie you're trying to watch to have sex again."

We each pulled out our phones, and I saw a message from Emily that had arrived during lunch.

I think it's going to be okay. Don't message her yet, but she's not nearly as upset. I'm in the cabin with her, listening to her trying to figure out how to get mentally back to where she was last night. Not as fun as sitting out by the pool, but whatever. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for the update, I wrote back. Good luck.

"Is it cocktail o'clock?" Lauren asked as I put my phone away.

"Sure. What would you like?"

"Something tropical... maybe a mai tai." She licked her lips. "Want to go check out the poolside bar, and see if we can find the Alpha Delta Pis?"

"You read my mind," I answered.

We headed up to the top of the ship. It was a gorgeous summery day, mostly sunny with a few fluffy white clouds dotting the cobalt Caribbean sky. The sun was scorching down with early afternoon fury, but a light sea breeze kept it from feeling too oppressive. The pool deck was as crowded as I'd seen it so far on that cruise, with each cabana and chaise longue occupied. The pool was nearly full of adults floating around and a few rambunctious kids pinballing between them.

We ordered our drinks and then surveyed the scene. I spotted the five sorority girls, each in a revealing bikini, spread out over a couple of chaises longues and working on their tans. They hadn't noticed us yet, so I elbowed Lauren and pointed.

"Are you thinking this is going to be awkward, hanging out with two women you've banged in successive nights?" she asked, eying them.

"I never had sex with Hannah," I answered, "and based on messaging Lena earlier, no. She said they're shared men before."

"I would never, ever slut-shame another woman," Lauren asserted, "and yet, girls with that level of wantonness put me to shame. Let's see what they're up to."

We headed over, and it was Lena who spotted us first.

"Sean!" she called, bounding up and wrapping me in a hug. I knew her body intimately, and yet I was still surprised in the moment that she was even tinier than I'd remembered. She pulled back, smiling, and I glanced up and down her flawless caramel body, covered only by a hot pink string bikini that barely covered her private areas. She also wore oversized sunglasses and a straw sun hat.

"It's good to see you again, stranger," I said, smiling. "You remember Lauren."

The two girls hugged briefly in greeting, and then she led me back to the group.

Hannah looked up first, making a sour face at us.

"So, you're the ones I have to thank for the fact I'm not allowed in my own cabin anymore," she grumbled. "There's been a sock on the door all day long."

"How did you convince a handsome blond underwear model to sleep with my plain, boring sister?" Andie added jealously.

"I don't think he's..." I began.

"Enough". Brianna spoke up, the first words I could remember her speaking. "I've had it with this Mean Girls shit. Whatever issues you and Olivia have with Allison, I'm sick of hearing about it."

Andie and Olivia exchanged a look, but they let the matter drop.

"I'm Sean, and this is Lauren," I held out a hand. I'd barely looked at her before, but she was just as pretty as the rest of them, with dirty blonde hair in a longer variant of a pixie cut. She filled out her navy and red bikini nicely, with smooth freckled skin and a toned, fit body. I noticed a rainbow necklace and a pink triangle tattoo on her arm, and I wondered to myself how on earth Liam hadn't realized she was a lesbian.

"Brianna," she said in return. "I've heard great things about you."

"Yeah, you have," Hannah flashed a smile. "Too bad you don't swing that way. He's worth switching sides for."

"I like her side!" Lauren bubbled. Brianna raised her eyebrows, then moved her towel, motioning for Lauren to sit with her.

"Do you want to go for a swim?" Lena asked me.

"Sure." I disrobed as Lena shed her hat, we grabbed our drinks, and we headed for the pool. It was crowded, but I found a small space on the edge with room for two, then hopped in, feeling instant relief from the oppressive heat of the sun. I was surprised to find the pool was fairly shallow, with the water only coming up to my chest. Lena quickly followed me in, and we stood together, cooling off, still hanging on to our plastic drink cups.

"How was your day yesterday?" I asked her.

"It was good!" she answered. "Brianna and I went to the beach, did some tanning, got wasted, went to bed early. I hadn't gotten really drunk on this holiday before yesterday. It was fun."

"Were you hungover this morning?" I asked.

"A little. I'm just powering through it." She indicated her drink, which appeared to be a mojito. "I haven't partied like this since my sorority days. It's been fun letting loose."

"I bet. I've enjoyed it too."

"I heard," she said evenly. "What else did you do yesterday, other than having Hannah suck your dick?" I gave her a look, and she reached under the water and slapped my ass playfully. "Don't look at me like that, stranger. You already know I'm not mad or jealous."

I spent a few minutes telling her a PG-rated version of my day hiking with Danielle.

"Sounds like a good day," she said once I'd finished. "And how was your evening?"

"Hannah sucked my dick." I shrugged.

"Yeah, I heard all about that, plus I learned more about your oral skills from her than I did from when you actually went down on me." Lena smiled. "Congratulations on being notch number 4,215 on Hannah's bedpost. You won't be surprised to hear she's already moved her attention on to another guy."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"This is pretty typical for her, she gets bored easily," Lena said. "Back in college, she tried to seduce everyone's boyfriend, but if it happened, it only ever happened once. She just wanted to know she could do it, to lure away anyone she wanted."

"That must have caused a ton of drama."

"It did. There were occasional screaming fights in the Alpha Delta Pi sorority house about her behaviour. We had to threaten to kick her out to make her leave other girls' boyfriends alone."

"But you're still friends with her," I pressed.

"Yep." Lena shot another look at the redhead. "She's a bit of a ditz, but she's incredibly caring and sweet. She's so likeable. Girls can be cliquey, but she gets along with everyone, and everyone otherwise likes her. You had all those girls living together in a sorority house, and Hannah was the only one that completely avoided the petty cattiness that some women are famous for."

"And yet..."

"I think she gets off on sleeping with guys who are taken. Once we threatened to kick her out, she stopped going after the boyfriends of other girls in the sorority, and that was really all we needed. I knew she'd try to seduce you after I bragged about banging you. I didn't care if she succeeded. You're not my boyfriend, after all."

"So, who's the new guy, out of curiosity?" I asked.

"Andie and Hannah mentioned it just now. Allison's landed some insanely hot athlete, and he spent the night in her cabin with Hannah in the other bed. She apparently walked in on them fucking last night, and then she saw him in just a towel after he had a shower this morning, and that was enough. She was practically drooling talking about him at breakfast."

"That must be Oliver."

"That was his name! Oliver!" Lena exclaimed. "I don't know if she'll get him or not, he seemed really into Allison. But that's Hannah's fetish, so she's at least going to try."

I shook my head. "Weird. She's so far outside the kind of woman I'd normally be attracted to. I was never into Greek life in college. The idea of a frat or sorority party doesn't sound like a lot of fun to me, and the stuff that goes on there is a total mystery."

"It doesn't appeal to me anymore either," Lena admitted. "I was into it back then. I had a couple of wild years. Partying, booze, drugs, bad sex with random frat boys. But I outgrew it. Somehow, I still made good enough grades to get into Stanford Law, and now studying is pretty much my life. There's a reason I don't have a boyfriend now; I wouldn't have the time for him.

"I've fallen back into that sorority mindset a little this week, hanging around with these girls again. I've kind of enjoyed it, though I don't do drugs anymore, and the sex was surprisingly excellent." She winked at me. "But that's not who I am anymore. I'll be ready to go home after the wedding and start being a grown-up again. I'm sure you can tell which of us have grown up and which of us haven't since we were last all together."

"Brianna and you are grown-ups, Olivia and Hannah are still sorority girls, and Andie's turned into a stone-cold bitch," I guessed.

"Bingo. I'm chalking Andie's attitude up to Bridezilla Syndrome," Lena agreed, "but it's still shocking how different she is from when I last hung out with her. If the old Andie doesn't come back after the wedding, I'm out. I don't need her negative presence in my life."

She pushed back from the edge, floating back on her back, getting her long black hair wet, and then swimming back to me, climbing into my arms and giving me a hug, legs wrapped around me under the water.

"So, what's the deal with Lauren?" she asked, glancing over.

"What do you mean?" I asked in return. "I already mentioned she was my best friend."

"I mean..." Lena trailed off. "Have you really never noticed the way she looks at you?"

"What do you mean?" I asked again.

Lena paused, as though she'd found herself in a conversation she didn't want to be having. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think she had a crush on you," she finally said, matter-of-factly.

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I am. I don't know her well, or at all for that matter, but I know what a woman in love looks like."

"I don't think Lauren's in love with me," I said forcefully. "There's too much history, too much between us, our friendship is too deep. If she was in love with me, she would have made a move years ago."

"You'd know," Lena said, clearly unconvinced. She glanced back up at the girls again, where Lauren and Brianna were having an animated conversation. "I'm just telling you what I see."

I thought back to the last week, to Lauren's dropping barriers around me, letting me see her cry, all the nudity. I thought back to literally everyone aboard the ship whom we'd met this week thinking Lauren and I were together. I thought back to the sexual moments we'd shared. Could I really be that dense? I asked myself. What if this is true? What if that's what's bothering her?

I suddenly realized that several puzzle pieces from the past week, and indeed from the past many years of our friendship, might fit together based upon Lena's observation, and I was seized immediately with panic. Oh, shit, I thought. I don't know how to deal with this.

Lena must have noticed, because she pulled me closer, putting her wet head on my shoulder. "I didn't mean to scare you," she said soothingly. "I'm sorry, it's really none of my business."

"It's okay," I lied. "It's not your fault. I'll keep my eyes open going forward, and we'll see what the future brings."

"I'm probably wrong," she reassured, unconvincingly.

Just then, a great booming voice came up from the pool deck. It was Trevor, the Cruise Director, an affable Australian whom I'd mostly tried to avoid since boarding the ship. The Cruise Director's job was essentially to emcee the shipboard activities and steer people towards having fun and spending money.

"It's the Hairiest Man competition! You should enter!" Lena encouraged excitedly.

I looked down at my body. While I wasn't exactly waxed smooth, I was less hairy than the average man, with hair only on my upper chest trailing down my stomach.

"You honestly think I stand a chance against guys like that?" I nodded towards a massive Slavic-looking guy who was already getting out of the pool and heading in Trevor's direction, and who had enough back and chest hair to knit a sweater.

Lena shrugged. "It's not as though the hairiest guy always actually wins. The winner is the one who entertains the crowd the best. The point is embarrassing the guys in front of an audience of drunk women."

I shook my head. "I'm not doing that."

"You're no fun. You know you'd have a built-in cheering section of six horny girls in bikinis, right?" She squeezed her legs tighter around me for emphasis, grinding her mound against me under the water for a second.

I looked back up at Trevor. He already had six guys beside him who'd immediately jumped at the chance, but he was calling out looking for two more contestants. I swallowed, downed the rest of my drink in one gulp, hoisted Lena easily up onto the pool deck, and then lifted myself out of the pool. "Fine."

Lena smiled ear-to-ear. "Go get 'em, tiger." She slapped my ass as I walked up to Trevor and volunteered. Fuck.

It took a few moments to get organized, including pulling three women out of the crowd to act as judges. One was a heavy middle-aged Black woman in a too-small bikini who was three sheets to the wind already, one was a younger sunburned woman in a one-piece who looked like she was seriously regretting agreeing to be a judge, and one was Hannah, because of course. She winked at me as Trevor made the introductions.

I was at the end of the line, and I surveyed my competition as Trevor built up the crowd's enthusiasm with the practiced demeanour of a veteran game show host. The Slavic-looking guy - Marko, apparently - was easily the hairiest and fattest of all of us, but six of the eight contestants were either hairy and fat and guaranteed to get laughs, or muscular and smooth and guaranteed to get wolf whistles. The remaining two of us were a guy who looked at least seventy, and me, your average, run-of-the-mill guy in his thirties.

"I don't think we stand a chance," I whispered to the old guy.

"Speak for yourself, sonny," he shot back.

I cursed under my breath as Trevor got to me.

"And last but not least, what's your name and where are you from?" he asked.

"I'm Sean, from Toronto."

There was a huge uproar from my cheering section, led by Lena and Lauren, but I noticed even Andie and Olivia were making noise for me.

"Sean brought a fan club with him all the way from Toronto!" Trevor preened. "Good thinking! Was it all building up to this?"

"I didn't know this contest was a thing until two minutes ago," I admitted.

"That works too!"

Trevor then explained the rules - there were three rounds, where the first one we had to strut our stuff, dancing in front of an audience that - Jesus, look at how much the audience had grown. People were clustered around all the railings watching us. The women judges would eliminate a couple of us, and then in the second round we'd all have to do a Tarzan yell. I might have a shot if I make it that far, I thought, thinking back to my college days when I worked as a voice-over announcer making low-budget radio commercials. I may not have been the most masculine man, but I've got a deep and powerful voice. Did I do a Tarzan commercial back then? I wondered. I couldn't remember.

With no further ado, the contest began. The first man up, an obese nerdy guy from England, strutted his stuff down the line, dancing up a shirtless storm without shame, before making it to the end where the three judges were sitting. The middle judge still looked like she wanted to be literally anywhere else, but Hannah and the middle-aged lady both got into it, slapping his ass as he danced provocatively around them.

And so, the Hairiest Man competition's first round progressed. The crowd reacted positively to the guys with the lowest amount of shame on display, and booed the guys who seemed embarrassed, so as I sucked on another drink and watched the competition, I resolved to just go for it. The only way to really embarrass yourself here was to be too cool to try.

Finally, it was my turn. I started slowly down the makeshift catwalk, dancing, trying hard not to be self-conscious, behaving like a ridiculous male stripper. I'd noticed a few of the women sitting along the catwalk had gotten handsy with previous contestants, and I made a point of dancing in front of each of them, allowing myself to be groped by several middle-aged women as I strutted. I could hear Lena's high-pitched girlish voice screaming itself hoarse above the crowd noise.

I eventually made it to the judges, where I started with the Black woman, dancing around her, going close to lap dancing without actually making contact as she bounced in her seat, keeping rhythm with me and encouraging me in a heavy Jamaican accent. I mostly spared the embarrassed woman, only going through the motions with her. Then there was Hannah.

"Hey Sean!" she called.

"Hi Hannah." I started dancing.

"Just like the first time we met!" she remembered. "It's your turn to give me a lap dance!"

I turned around and ground my ass into her lap as she cheered, grinding on me as the sorority girls shrieked their approval. I'd already noticed Hannah was clearly getting off on having the previous seven guys trying to seduce her in front of an enormous crowd. Her nipples were poking through her bikini, and her face and chest were flushed. I recognized the horny glint in her eye from last night.

I danced in Hannah's lap for a few more moments before I felt her hand reach around and grab my crotch firmly and lasciviously.

"Hey!" Trevor was all over it. "That's crossing a line there, Hannah!"

"He's cool with it!" she insisted, leaving her hand in place.

"Even if he is, I don't want you getting us all arrested." Trevor quickly separated us and wrapped up the first round. I had to admit, he was quick on his feet.

The votes were tallied, and I was fourth of eight - enough to make it to the second round. I'd had no illusions of winning, but I was still surprised to make it this far.

For the second round, the remaining four of us were lined up, and while I don't normally talk myself up like this - I nailed it. When it was my turn, I took a deep breath, and a Tarzan yell worthy of Weissmuller bellowed out of me. The crowd, easily hundreds strong by now, gave me more rapturous applause than I'd ever had in my life. Not counting public speaking for work, I hadn't been on a stage since playing in a shitty garage band as a teenager, and even then, this audience was easily ten times larger than the biggest group I'd ever performed in front of.