The Pleasure Ledger Pt. 04

"I don't mind your hands."

"I know, right? That's the point, though. There was a child present."

"So if there hadn't been a child...," I teased.

"Stop it right there!" Letty laughed, "no playing the home team, ok?"

"Ok, ok," I agreed, "how about some one-on-one practice then?"

"Hmmmmm, I'd like that," she purred. She still had herself wrapped around me but nevertheless managed to snuggle even closer. "Nothing fancy, though... I just want to be close to you."

"I love being close to you."

"I know, right?" she whispered suggestively, "plus, you still owe me."

Changing the Sheets

I held on to Letty, carried her back to the bedroom and gently let her down on the bed. As I moved my hands out from under her back, I grabbed the hem of her yoga pants and pulled them down her legs, gathering her panties on the way. She approved of my actions with a devouring look. As quickly as possible, I got rid of my clothes while she stripped off her tank top and bra. We quickly slipped under the sheets and snuggled up to each other as close as possible.

"Gawd, I love being naked around you," she moaned into my ear between kisses.

"You won't hear any complaints from me," I replied.

We rolled back and forth, constantly entangling and resorting our arms and legs while kissing every reachable spot. I more than loved the feeling of her soft warm skin rubbing against mine. Her scent. Her motions. Her little whimpering noises. Everything. It made me forget the world all around us.

Eventually, we ended up with Letty on her back and me on top off her, my dick trapped between our bellies. She flashed her eyes at me and wiggled her hips under me. "Come on in," she invited me.

Of course, I complied. Once again, she was so wet I easily slid in, and after a few gently strokes, was firmly embedded inside of her. It felt so good!

"Look at me," she whispered, "don't close your eyes."

Our eyes locked as we slowly started moving against each other. We kept it slow, which didn't make it any less intense. Inevitably, the passion gradually increased, and as it did, our looks became more and more consuming until it felt like our eyes were burning into each other.

Our breathing became heavier, our movements more powerful. Every now and then, one of us would gently step on the break with a whispered "shhhhhhh," and we slowed down, before eventually picking up again.

I had propped myself up on my hands, places either side of her chest, so I could properly look at her. She, in turn, held on to my upper arms and intermittently wrapped her legs around mine to push me deeper into her. It felt like we were glued together.

We never took our eyes off each other, not even as we both crossed the point of no return. If possible in any way, the atmosphere between us became even more energetic; the air was sizzling with passion and emotion.

Finally, our love making turned into pure fucking after all. Humming and moaning turned into grunting as I lowered my upper body down until our foreheads touch. Still, neither of us closed their eyes. As we both came, she clamped her legs tight around me, almost crushing me, while I spurted my cum into her.

As the shivers subsided, still panting and catching our breath, I raised my head again. We still looked at each other, never had broken eye contact. She smiled, with her eyes more than anything. "I love you," she whispered, squeezing me with her hands and legs for emphasis.

"I love you, too," I replied, "you're magic... you're..." I once again couldn't stop myself, so Letty did, by putting a finger on my lips. "Shhh, stop it. It's just me."

"No," I protested, "it's not 'just' you. It's all because of you. You, my dear, are a wonderful, smart, gorgeous, confident, witty, sexy, crazy, and sex-crazy woman. The most of all of that that I've ever met. I love you because I can't stop looking at you, I can't stop talking and listening to you, I can't mmmmmhmmm..."

I saw tears escaping from her eyes before she went for the most effective way of shutting me up, which was by pulling me in for a long-lasting passionate kiss. We were still going as I felt myself deflating and sliding out of her. Letty commented on that by whispering into my ear, "you know we'll have to change sheets again now."

"Hmmm, I love changing sheets with you."

"You're crazy," she giggled.

"For you."

"Stop it!"

We kept snuggling and kissing for quite a while before finally getting up, taking a shower, and, well, changing the sheets.

We spent the rest of the evening bundled up on the couch, naked of course, having snacks and watching another romantic movie. A perfect weekend that had exceeded even the highest expectations was slowly drawing to an end. I had conflicting feelings. I couldn't be happier about the last two days, or our feelings for each other. Came for the sex, stayed for the love.

I was also distraught that I would have to leave tomorrow morning, and that it would be almost a week before we could meet again. It was too bad that for both of us, work was in the opposite direction of our respective homes, so whomever stayed with the other was faced with a two-hour commute the next day, even longer with traffic. Definitely not something you want to do every day.

Letty sensed my mood shift. "What?" she whispered.

"I hate to leave tomorrow. I miss you already."

"I know," she forced a smile. She was feeling the same. "But until then, you'll have me for another night. And don't you dare not touch me." She met me for another of her mind-blowing kisses. I was amazed every time again by the acrobatics her tongue performed in my mouth.

Very late that evening, we both fell asleep in her bed with a smile on our faces, me spooning her.

An eerie Feeling

I had calculated I had to leave no later than 6:30, to give me two hours for the ride plus a 30-minute buffer, so allowing for a shower and a short breakfast, I set my alarm for 5:45. However, there was so much going on in my head, I was wide awake by five. I stayed in bed for a while, pondering the implications of the past weekend, and reliving some of the more memorable moments.

Finally, I got up and snuck into the second bathroom out in the hallway, so I could shower without waking Letty. Refreshed, groomed and dressed for office, I quietly walked into the kitchen, where to my surprise, I was greeted by a gorgeous woman wearing a disarming smile and, thankfully, a white bathrobe -- otherwise, I would definitely have been late to work.

"You're not sneaking out on me, are you?" she asked.

"Never. I just didn't want to wake you earlier than necessary."

"You're so sweet. Good morning, Love."

"Good morning, Love," I echoed, before we met for a sensual kiss.

"Coffee is ready, if you want some."

"Hmm, you're a life savior," I whispered into another kiss.

I had to force myself to let her go. I helped myself to large mug and we put together a small breakfast. Not a fancy buffet this time, we basically snatched things directly from the fridge and ate right there at the kitchen counter. We spend the time mostly in silence, both dreading the impending farewell. The clock raced towards 6:30.

As it was time to go, I grabbed my bags and we hugged just inside of her front door. "Can we talk tonight?" I asked between kisses.

"Absolutely. How about I call you at seven?"

"Deal."

"Ok then, be on your way. And drive safe!" She practically pushed me out the door.

"Bye!" I hollered over my shoulder and jumped into my truck. I got on my way immediately and turned up the music way louder than usual to drown out any thoughts that would distract me from driving. It felt strange, driving away from her, but I was also well aware that deep down in my core, there was a profound feeling of happiness.

It turned out the buffer I had planned for wasn't enough. There was an accident on the way. It was in the opposite lane, but of course, everybody going my way had to slow down and look. It took me close to three hours to get to work and I missed my first meeting of the day, but since the accident was all over the news, I had a good excuse. Thankfully, nobody noticed that relative to my house, it had happened on the far side from work.

In the hurry I was in, I had actually forgotten my cell phone in the car, and I didn't get a chance to retrieve it before lunch break. When I looked at it, there was a message from Letty which she had sent right after I left. The text read, "Don't forget me." She had sent a selfie as well. Letty had held the phone above her head, pointing down, and looked up into the camera. This perspective included the floor in the background, which told me she had taken it either in her bedroom or bathroom. She was wearing her white bathrobe.

Which was wide open.

That image immediately burned itself into my mind. "How could I?" I texted back.

The afternoon went by in a blur. Emails, phone calls, meetings, and part of my brain was constantly busy with... NSFW thought. Fortunately, I didn't miss anything important. I figured I would need to seriously get a grip, but I also realized it would take a while to adopt to the new situation.

I finally made it home by six. Everything was normal, or so I thought, until I got inside, dropped my bag, and went into the living room. Then, an eerie feeling hit me. Objectively, nothing was amiss. Everything was exactly as I had left it on Friday, as I expected to find it when I came back. Nothing was different.

Except, of course, me.

I usually savored quietness of my house after a noisy day at work, but now it felt too quiet. I liked to find everything where I left it, but now it bothered me nothing had moved. And I realized why: those were signs that nobody else lived here. I was alone.

I was lonely.

I closed my eyes, and the past weekend with Letty flashed through my mind like a flipbook. I opened them again, and realized I suddenly felt like a stranger in my own home. It was like Letty's place was home for me now, and I was just visiting here during the week. Like a company apartment, so I could get to work more easily.

This eerie feeling I now had was the final confirmation for the emotions and impressions that had developed over the past ten days and, pun fully intended, climaxed on the weekend. Which meant I needed to take some actions.

The first one was to boot up the computer and log in to the three dating sites I still had active profiles on. I deactivated my accounts and cancelled memberships. The last one I closed down was the 'Pleasure Ledger'. I thought about downloading the pictures from Letty's profile, but then decided to openly ask her for photos instead. I did, however, save some screenshots of our chat history.

Next were some organizational tasks for my weekend schedule, since I assumed I wouldn't be spending any weekends home alone anytime soon. Fortunately, that wasn't too complex, it was mostly planning out to which evenings I would shift tasks like laundry or mowing. I didn't have any fixed weekend dates for the next month.

And then I started thinking about work. I was quite happy with my job, so obviously, I didn't want to give that up, at least not that quickly. That would be irresponsible. But I also didn't want to spend five days without Letty or be stuck in a car four hours per day. Or six, if traffic today was any indication. One might think that working in IT, home office would be the obvious solution. Maybe I could set up shop in Daniel's room, as Letty said she's occasionally using that as an office herself now. Unfortunately, my current position came with a lot of hands-on team meetings which often resulted in some rather wild, but very productive discussions including architecture diagrams sketched out on a white board -- and those would be very difficult, to say the least, to conduct online. So that definitely needed more thinking.

While I was lost in thought, my phone rang. I picked up and waited, smiling, but only for a second or two before Letty said her signature, "hey there!"

"I've been waiting all day to hear those words from you," I answered.

"I miss you," came her immediate reply. She sounded a bit sad.

"I miss you, too, my Love." We remained silent for quite a while. "It's funny, we're not even talking, but just knowing you're there makes me feel... good. Better."

"Same here," she replied hesitantly, "I'm... I don't know, I'm confused."

"How so?"

"It's... I don't know... whoof... uhm... how do I.... let me gather my thoughts for a minute, ok?"

"Ok."

I went into the kitchen and got something to drink as my mouth suddenly felt dry, then settled in on my couch, while all I could hear on the phone was breathing and an occasional sigh.

"You there?" she finally asked.

"I'm listening."

"Look, what I'm going to say isn't well thought out, so let me finish before answering, ok? I'm kind of making this up as I go."

"Ok, go ahead."

"So, this weekend was a lot to handle for me, maybe a bit too much, to be honest." My heart dropped into my pants at these words, but I restrained myself and kept listening as she continued, "emotionally more so than physically. Even though I have to admit that you did thoroughly fuck my brains out."

She spoke those last words with a lust-laden husk and I half-coughed, half-snorted, surprised by the sudden change in topic.

"I was, you know, kind of anxious before the weekend started, because I was afraid it might become too much. I was concerned this might become more than just a weekend fling. Which is what I kept telling myself I was looking for, right? Remember, if you scratch my itch, I'll scratch yours?"

"Yes, I remember." Indeed, this conversation from our first dinner date was very present in my memory.

"And then you came..." She stopped mid-sentence and I couldn't stop a silly smile due to her choice of words. Obviously, she had picked up on that as well. "Stop grinning," she continued with a teasing undertone, "Let me rephrase that. And then you arrived... on Friday. And everything I was afraid of happened. It was good to have you here. I had been wondering before how I could get some alone-time while you're here, but it turned out, I never wanted any. You didn't feel like a guest. When I snuggle up with you, I forget about everything and everyone else. My knees get weak when I look into your eyes. I have dinosaur-sized butterflies in my stomach whenever you touch me. I... on Friday, when we went to bed, and you said, 'good night, my love' for the first time, my heart jumped. I... I cried into my pillow..." Her voice caught as she was obviously getting very emotional, but I gave her the time to gather her thoughts. "But not because you hurt me, or forced something upon me, but because I realized you were right. Something clicked, and I no longer felt alone. It's... how can I say that... it's if something was missing that you didn't realize was missing, and then it's suddenly there."

"The void is gone," I interrupted her.

"Pardon?"

"I said, it's like the void is gone. That's what Amy said, too."

"What did she say?" Letty sounded a bit irritated.

"Ok, when Rick and Amy were over on Sunday, and you were working with your brother on the birthday arrangements, Amy took me outside to talk."

"And then you made out with her," Letty teased.

"Exactly. Anyway, what Amy said was that in the past, she often had the feeling that there was a void following you. That whenever you were around, the sensation that there should be someone next to you, that you wished for someone to be with you, was so strong it became a presence of its own. She called that 'the void'. And she said that when she saw you yesterday, that void was gone."

"Oh my God," Letty whispered, then sniffled. "That's... that's so true. That's what I was trying to say." She took a deep breath. "Rick said something similar, though. Even if his choice of words wasn't as... delicate." She snickered.

"What did he say?"

"He called me a 'fucking ray of sunshine'?"

"Which of course you are, and quite literally, I have to say," I teased.

Letty laughed out loud, "those were my exact words to him." I joined in on her laughter, which was followed by a moment of silence.

"Travis?"

"Yes?"

"I'm scared. Really, I'm scared shitless."

"Tell me why...?"

"I've never felt so vulnerable in my life. At least not in a long time. As I said, this weekend was everything I was afraid of, and even more. I feel like being shot out of a canon and now I'm tumbling through empty space, head over heels, and I... I...," she sniffled, "I need you to catch me. Please tell me this wasn't 'just a weekend'. If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up."

She struggled keeping it together. Her voice quivering, she went on, "I love you, Travis. I need you to love me. Please..." The final word came out as tormented plea, more like a squeal, then she openly wept.

And I did as well. This touched me deeply. I didn't want so see her, or hear her, agonizing like this. Plus, this was so relatable. I was feeling the same.

"I'm here," I comforted her, "I'm here for you... I love you, Letitia... This isn't a dream... I want to hold you... I do love you..." I said to sniffles on the other end, "I'm scared myself."

"You are?"

"Of course I am. This is just as overwhelming for me as it is for you."

"How so?"

"Well, basically, everything you said is true for me as well. I didn't feel like a guest at your house. I felt at home. So much, in fact, that when I came home from work earlier, I felt like a stranger in my own house. Home is where the heart is, and that is with you."

"You're so sweet, thank you." She sighed deeply. "I'm feeling a little better now."

"I'm glad to hear that. Me too." So, this wasn't just a dream. We both let that thought settle for a while.

"So, what are your plans for next weekend?" I eventually asked into the silence.

"I don't care, I'll make them include you," she replied, "in fact, I have a couple of obligations, but we'll work that out. Just get here as early as you can."

"Oh, I will. Still four days, though," I complained,

"Don't even mention it. I miss you so much!"

"I miss you, too!"

"So, how was your day?" she asked.

I was glad for this change to more mundane topics. We quickly settled into our small-talk pattern which was well-established by now. It felt good, being back in the comfort zone. It was almost eleven when we finally ended the call, after talking not only about our respective days, but many more topics including current world news, music, weather, general plans for later in the year and so on. We were sharing our lives, and it felt right.

When I went to bed, that eerie feeling came back for a moment. The bed was cold and small, but still too big for me alone. The room felt dark and empty. But then I recalled the conversation with Letty, and I knew I wasn't alone. Happily, I fell asleep.

Two steps ahead

When I got up the next morning, my phone indicated there was already a message from Letty waiting for me. Still tired and yawning, I opened the message app. I was wide awake a split-second later. The message read, "Good morning, sunshine", and showed one of Letty's hands holding a large coffee mug -- snug between her bare tits.

"This is EXACTLY how I want my coffee served every morning," I replied.

"That can be arranged," was her reply a few minutes later. Oh my, now I had something to occupy my mind for the rest of the day. It was Tuesday morning... three and a half days until I can be with her again. I really needed to scout my options at work...

Another busy day at the office quickly reeled me in, but at least, I had a better grip on things. That phone call with Letty last night really helped. It had been reassuring, I didn't worry about her suddenly vanishing again. We texted several times during the day, mostly 'miss you' and 'love you' notes, but also discussing lunch options, and finally agreeing I'd call her at seven.