All Comments on 'The Poem'

by estragon

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  • 12 Comments
Phxray54Phxray54over 13 years ago
A cerebral journey into the pain of love.

But how has the rest of your life’s journey been influenced by this unrequited love? Well executed with just a few “I” selfishness statements to be convinced that the protagonist is not too self-centered but only lacks confidence. Very real. Thank you for your efforts and willingness to share.

ILienBagbyILienBagbyover 13 years ago
So nicely written

so honest. Is every college sophomore as self-centered as estragon, or is it only he and I and nearly every one I knew then?

LunanulLunanulover 13 years ago
Inspirations…

Wow. I'm not even sure where to start. I mean, should I apologize for making you remember something you didn't want to? If you want me to, I will, for I never meant to hurt anyone.

But I don't really want to apologize; because you grew through this! Think about it. She had her inspiration for writing her poem; and you were inspired to write about the memory because of my story. I feel honored.

I'm very empathetic and so I wish I could give you a hug right now. And reassure you that the Angel you let fly through your fingers is almost certainly not angry at you. Trust me, we're used to people passing us by. Even in my world, post-ADA, your retelling made me wonder how many people get me drinks instead of saying what they really are feeling. For your physical description of her was most likely how passersby see me as well.

But I want you to know that you did more for her than very many of those passersby. You met her again. You went to where she lived. You valued her intellectual contributions. Take it from someone who knows, that is what she remembers. That is what she treasures. Trust me. Why? Because you were different from all the rest. A shining pearl she can hold onto and remember. And in her mind, the only reason you didn't come back was that it appeared she already had someone. There is very little pain in that for her; there is either the small side that wishes that she was free for you at the time, or there is the smile of confidence inside that she chose the right one. But only she knows that; so it is not your burden to carry.

However, just so you know, what you really wanted to say to her would not have been a conversation stopper (after I picked my jaw up off the floor) if it had been me. Smile.

So from now on, always take your chances when you have them. And keep writing. I'm sure we will be in communication again.

Love and light to you always.

estragonestragonover 13 years agoAuthor
Oh God, Luna

You don't have to apologize to anyone for anything. I owe you a great debt of gratitude. Becoming Whole is glorious; you've made the invisible visible, made us see, which is the whole purpose of writing. I owe an apology to you if I hurt you or made you feel bad in any way. And I owe a debt, so large that it makes me want to cry, to the real Glynnis, a many-times published poet and a wonderful woman (I don't want to embarrass her by telling her real name here). I didn't want to remember how dumb and arrogant I was then (and probably still am). You need not apologize for that; I need a daily reminder. You keep writing, Luna, we need you. God bless you.

YgraineYgraineover 13 years ago
Exquisite writing.

You grabbed me in the first sentence and held my attention until the end. You might want to rethink the last line. You only really need the first few words.

PennLadyPennLadyover 13 years ago
Lovely

Sweet, short and moving. Well done.

raconteuseraconteuseabout 13 years ago
Beautiful

Evocative, gentle and moving, I loved this sweet story. Everything about it, including dialogue and character development especially, was superb. One niggle though, estragon. I wouldn't have written $800 in figures and symbols. Had I been your editor… Otherwise, an outstanding and most entertaining story.

raconteuseraconteuseabout 13 years ago
By the way...

I thought the last line... was perfect, just as it is.

WilliamButlerYeatsWilliamButlerYeatsabout 13 years ago
ishtat was correct

Well written story. Thanks for the quick read

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Weird story...

:S I am totally confused. This cannot be called a real story.

EMiamiRiverRatEMiamiRiverRatabout 12 years ago
Beyond our control

Dear Anonynous,

Sometimes it passes that each of us is presented with things we did not ask for, nor would we ever want. However, we are forced to face them. They are our past and our future, and beyond our control. This is a story of such a thing. Read it again, and know that it is from the heart. E, thank you from mine.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Sorry, But I Didn't Like It

Might have made sense to all the hoity-toity literary types, but I'm not one of those.

2 Stars, and that's generous, at least to me.

Anonymous
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