All Comments on 'The Pond Ch. 01'

Pretty far-fetched even for fantasy. Very little story. If you like two pages of 'make out' this ones for you. Needed a little more innocence and a little less hardcore.

I disagree with the other reader. It's not at all beyond the established norms of sci-fi/fantasy writings. There was a movie not long ago (I can't remember the name, but there was a black rapper named Jerico who was murdered by police in one of the major scenes) and similar elements were in The Cell and The Lawnmower Man. I do, however, think that it was misrepresented. If you bill it as "a safe bi experience," it should have been written as one. What we got was a straight sex scene that went on for most of a page, followed by a few lines that amounted to "Just kidding! It was a guy! Get it?" Regardless, I thought it was well written and an enjoyable read.