All Comments on 'The Prenuptial Agreement Ch. 02'

One reads a sentence in this story and can only say: "WOW".

One reads a paragraph and it contains an idea that you only then realize that it is something you've known your entire life and have never put into words.

There are many aspects of this story that belong in a great novel but instead sit in the middle of a short story on a porn site.

Chapter 2 of this work is only tangentially related to Chapter 1. The style, the story, the meaning, the feeling: all different. Both stand on their own, almost independently. I liked the first chapter very much. It was like a courtroom primer with a story weaved into it.

Chapter 2 is very nearly a work of art. But from the reader it requires an investment in time and thought. One must read and ponder every word. Don't skip ahead to look for the good parts. There are no good parts. There is only this story of a man learning to live in the world.

I really am. This story is so amazing it has left me in awe of the author. It's as if every word was thought over before it was put to paper. Every single word in this story is perfect and right where it should be. I have to catch a plane now so I dont have time to begin to delve into the substance of the story. Do yourself a favor and spend the time to read this story carefully and you will not be dissapointed.

Wow. This is amazing stuff.

I'd write more, but the above really says it all.

If I was cheap I would just say I agree with the first few public comments, but this story deserves more than that.

Good work, be proud and know that it did the job well.

Thanks,

at times i feel some of the same unanswerable questions, i've always enjoyed multiple correct answers for life.

The finish fit well with the first half but was a little ponderous.(sic) I found myself saying 'get on with it' too many times. Seemed to be over developing the characters and slowing down the story. Finished good though.

You have entered my mind and put it in a story! Your ability to write interesting, intelligent thoughts and stories is so rare that I thought it did not exist. At least not until I read this work. You are everyman, you are me, except you write like no man, except you! (Whatever Cloacas is??!!)

bad about the story, as everyone said, it was fantastic. You captured so much of everyday realism in dealing with relationships, feelings, emotions, the opposite sex, insecurities, doubts, fears, love, hate, weaknesses, strengths, just in general our overall humanity. The only thing I couldn’t relate to was the wealth. While I could get deep into the human side of the story, I felt detached by his wealth, almost like flipping back and forth between reality and fantasy. Most of us don’t have the wealth to escape to the far reaches of the world while taking the time to find ourselves. We have everyday lives, responsibilities, and occupations, not that we wouldn’t like to escape to those places. It would have been a much more personal story to me if you would have brought it down to how the everyday Joe would have had to deal with it. Please don’t tell me it’s just a story, you’re the one that pulled me in, and by the way, did a fantastically outstanding job of doing it. Like everyone else, I was hanging on to every word, and like everyone else, I’ll be searching nightly for your next release. Hope you don’t keep us waiting long. A fan always.

dribble of a poor rich boy. loved your other stories but this one only brought out the yawns, I did finish it thinking it would get better, he would really confront his father. But nothing happened.

a well written story, a little long and drawn out but good

The first part was well done, interesting, engaging, but somewhat detached and impersonal. The second part grabs you with its rich depth of character. There are very, very few stories that make you wonder who you really are, whom you have become! This truly has the depth to make a novel, the variety of his experiences painting a canvas of his life, scene by scene. There is a sadness in this story, a sadness that lurks in each of us. But there is also the promise that it doesn't make any difference who we were, or when we were - only that we can be that person we need to be, that the being is not the goal, but the search! Impressive story, except for one major screw-up: you have raised the bar of our expectations for your future writings!

Come on cloacas. You're TALKING about action instead of taking the reader THROUGH it. The reader got tired of the "poor little rich boy" thing about the sixteenth recycling of the theme. Darn it, hit it and move on. The reason for world-traveling is apparent. Okay, he's looking for himself. Great. After a while, summarize it and move onto finding a plot. Darn, man, you've wrapped a zillion words around a one page story. Darn, darn, darn. You've got the talent to write but you've got to find a story line that will endure if you want to write a novella. <sigh> This is so disappointing.

This was a riveting piece of work. However, when I put it down I thought, this is a diary of a screwed up rich egotist, and way too introspective. Finding happiness is not that complex.

This fit perfectly with part one. The detachment told us who he was, even if he didn't know himself. I was moved by the sadness of his description of all the women in the beginning of this part. He didn't say anything bad about it, but it so lacked involvement and enthusiasm that it painted him as profoundly sad and lost. I had suspected in part one that Jenny really loved him and that her anger and disappointment were why she went after him. I hadn't considered how his lack of connection with life would affect her.

A commenter said he would have appreciated it more if this had been happening to someone without wealth. That would have been a different story - no less valid, but different. Some aspects of this telling would have been lost, some would have been different.

So few of us take the time to consider what we're doing and why; what has meaning to us; what is important. It is difficult. We get a limited time to accomplish whatever we're going to accomplish, or not accomplish if that's what we want. Do I need the big-screen TV? Of course not. If I want it, what am I willing to sacrifice to get it; what is the value? We usually only answer those questions in the past tense. If we're lucky, we figure out who we are, what we want and what we believe and pursue our lives accordingly. He has made the advanced, yet prepatory step of figuring out who he is not. If he can figure out the rest, he can get to a place where he is happy. If the rest, for him, is not having an aim or purpose, then he will be happy where he is.

This is in keeping with a theme developed on his wealth and power. Life isn't easy to figure out. If it were, it wouldn't be so valuable to do; it wouldn't be an accomplishment any more than the wealth and power he did not earn were to him.

Don't apologize for the paucity of sex. It's there or it isn't. The ideas are much more nourishing than the titillaiton.

This could have been (will be?) a novel. "Wow!"

Inciteful and thought provoking. As good a story as I have ever seen or read on Literotica or any other erotic story site. You plumbed the depths of a man's mind and found what was there. We, each, have the ultimate power of happiness or unhappiness in our own lives. Thusly, we need not fear any outside force, we have the power to save or destroy ourselves. Or as Pogo once said, "We have met the enemy and it is ourselves."

Boyd

Those who didn't get it didn't think about it.

As far as I'm concerned, I wish I could develop a character that well. Our protagonist is obviously literate, but not brilliant; he's introspective and sometimes maudlin but I'm not sure he really found who he truly is. He thinks he has and that may just be enough. Fake it 'til you make it.

The author said it best in the second part - you "should just shut up." I couldn't decide whether this was a pitiable "woe is me" essay on self-loathing or an attempt to justify why the author was not rich. The only redeeming feature was the scene with the Asian woman with her heels over her ears and "all three holes lined up." Otherwise just a zero. Please get back to writing stories with a plot.

Very well written. It struck a little close to home for me but I enjoyed it just the same. I've walked in those shoes from time to time. Never had that much money though. Keep writing you have a wonderful gift for it.

73's

Doc

This was a riveting story. The exztent to which you took us on this journey of self discovery was amazing. Whatever it was, it sure wasn't boring. It had a rhythm and an intensity that is seldom seen on this sight. In feel if not style, it reminded me of the musings of an Beat generation author like Kerouac. Thank you.

I enoyed it, but feel it needs more - more of where they end up.

Reliving your life in your mind can bring back many horrible and shameful memories. Bucking those memories against an honest (as honest as the mind allows) evaluation of who you are now hopefully provides a path that will lead you ultimately to happiness and self satisfaction.

T'ain't always so, but he started his journey and walked us through it. This is not a story of romance and excitement. It's a story meant to make us think about our own selves for weal or woe and hopefully take the first small steps in our own journey of self discovery. Thank You. Ronnie W.

I am disapointed in Chapter 2. I was expecting something much better. There were many possibilities for an ending to this story but this one does nothing for me.

I suggest you try again because I usually like your stories and think you generally do a very good job.

Roger

title says it all

Much like yourself I feel you are very talented. That comfort or cockiness allows you to take on this jagged wandering.

I tired of it as most of us could care less of a rich non-productive persons mindless circulus ramblings of self examination reaching little conclusion. The wallowing in one self induced perplexity to another spent my patience when anyone with a brain could see that he suffered for no purpose - no reason to be who he am - therefore he wasn't!

Enveloping no - enlightening no - contemplative yes however to no purpose but reader frustrations with him for his lazy ruminations and disrespect of self.

Were he an average person financially he wouldn't have had as much time to dwell upon and stir his frustrations but he would work his ass off and in the process begin to feel better about himself.

Deepness of this murkiness doesn't endear you or give you credibility in purpose. Talent used to amplify a rising scale or fuller meaning makes Jack an entertaining poisin.

Author give us something you can that many others can't - positive introspective uplifting or consequence.

Who the fuck are you? It's difficult for me to believe that you're the average Lit. reader and contributor. This brief story reminded me more of Steinbeck or Wm. "Least Heat" Moon. It's a plot outline, not a story unto itself. I have to believe that you're teasing us, giving us a glimpse into what will be a novel in that vein. If and when you do publish, at least be reminded of those of us who were your first fans.

I am sorry, but this story did not do a thing for me. I felt like everything was disjointed. One minute she told him she married him for his money and didn't love him and the next she is pissed because she loved him and he wasn't lovable.

In addition, it was difficult to determine who was talking when during the various converstions.

Thanks for your effort, I am glad some readers liked it, but I cannot be included.

Cloacas, Dude! This shit gets heavy, at times, but it reads pretty well. Your grammatical expertise is clearly evident. Who the fuck are you, really? My brother writes kinda like this, real deep stuff. But when you slowly break it down, it isn't so pretentious or difficult to understand. Sorry, Man, I'm a little slow, that's all. My bro knows this, and doesn't hold it against me.

This is at least my third reading of this story, and it continues to be terrific. Long, complex, full of ideas, going in many different directions, but always gripping.

I look forward always to more of your work!

ohio

For those of us who lived through the 60's and 70's, this story makes a lot of sense. I can remember when I finally realized how little all the funny things we hippies said made absolutely no sense what so ever. I was as lost as your main character. You and I will disagree on a lot of future stories, just like we have in the past. However, this was one fine piece of writing or slice of life. Thanks for sharing it

JimDinMN

i believe in keeping things simple. maybe your writting is just not my type. maybe im too stupid.

but your story just didnt do it for me. there's seems to be no passion in dialogues at all. in fact, the story is pretty much lacking of emotion.

There are not words to express how much I like this story and how great it is to read...

the best story ever I have yet to read here on this web site.

Very deep

very moving...

very real.

I very much appreciated the story being the product of a dysfunctional family myself. I've walked where the main character walked, walked through entire lakes of hopeless bitterness. Like Mike, I discovered that after the fires of hate and anger haved burned into the ashes of despair, you can either die or come to terms with yourself. I work on those terms every day.

Kudos and well written!

on both main characters' parts,,,

"I thought you preferred the other guy..."

"I'm a moron; I thought I was in love with a guy I had not seen for years, a guy who never grew up, even now,,,, "

again, honest self-assessment from both ,,, now that they've found out about each other's short comings, and can be honest about their own stupidity, there exist a possibility for a deeper relationship, a healthier one which they both could go into with eyes wide open,,,

again, good story about struggling to find oneself.

This story has all the earmarks of an excellent submission. It stands above the best stories written by my better professors at the University of California at Berkeley. I look forward to writing more of your stories.

RAG

Cloacas i was crying to your words about your dad i remember mine we had our fights and he had his with mom I hope you continue with more stories with Jack and maybe Susan ,keep up your writing .

Atlanta,Ga

I don't know any superlatives beyond excellent...and that is simply not good enough.

It was like treking through an emotional topography at once familar yet foreign.

Thank You.

juan

The idiot will never know. she admitted she married him for comfort and, hopefully down the road, wealth. he wasn't sure if that's true.

Nadia, the Russian whore, fucked and sounded like she orgasmed continuously, like those fake-breasted blondes with black guys whose vocab never developed beyond bitch and ho's.

Jenny now said she wasn't sure if she knew she was talking about, on both the high school teenage boy or this 26 year old, who spends 90 percent of his story telling us about nothing substantial but his wealth and how women love him, or sound to love him, when he fucked them.

The idiot still doesn't know, even now. "I thought you said you loved your boyfriend more?", his dick is still inside her. Idiot was expecting her to say, "Of course, I loved him more. But he's poor and immature; except for those two traits, I'd have married him"????

But, of course, she's a bit too smart for him, so she said, "I was an idiot; I thought I loved him. Why couldn't you loved me? You was so angry. God, keep you dick inside me... That's where it belong, you'know?"

The idiot, of course, smiled broadly to himself: "This is no Nadia here; this is the real deal; my real Jenny is back and this is where she belonged"!!

The idiot now conveniently forgets his own BS earlier about never knowing, for sure, if women fucked him only because he has hundreds of millions, it seemed,,, or because they really liked him as a person.

So much BS and he's now totally lost in his own idiotic thoughts, because he never really tried to do any thing important in his life; all he thinks and talks about is much loaded he is; how he fucks women, single and married, rich and poor. Complete gibberish nonsense, which some people take it as real deep living philosophy!

I had read this story before and liked it, then I ran across it today and read it again, I like it more. I really hope that you will write some more stories sometime, I don't want to miss out on your rare talent. I don't need to say more since the phenomenon is that the best, most positive, and constructive comments are from many of my favorite authors. All the bad, childish, and otherwise negative comments are from annonymous cowards. You have a gift I wish I had, good luck and Thank You for a great story!

Excellent writing. Someone is really all fucked up. Jenny finally admitted she loved him. Wonder why. I guess he never loved her or anyone, including himself, and still doesn't, but has willing accepted where he is.

I kinda expected they would remarry but that obviously is out. So much self evaluation and the constant world traveling to keep from thinking about it. Didn't work.

Obviously Jenny thought he was screwing around and he took revenge on her, like a little boy, rather than try to reconcile the hurt they both felt.

A lot of introspection, a lot of prose, but I couldn't get into it. I hope you purged whatever you needed to purge, but as a story, no it didn't reach me.

What ever happened to this writer, no stories after 05 Really good stories, wish there were some new ones. Thanks

I don't often agree with Harry but this time, he's right. This is a great story and it's too bad cloacas no longer submits to the site. His talent is sorely missed.

Very impressed with your style. I enjoyed the tone and the mood you set. I'd love to read more.

Very strong story.....I enjoyed reading it, and it made me think. I cannot offer higher praise.

This is a story that cannot be fully

appreciated with one reading. When I

finished and saw this was his last

submitted piece, it fit. It has the feel of a

farewell. If so, he will be greatly missed.

So happy for you man.. This is a great tale, thoughtful and sometimes painful to read as it touches on our humanity and the reasons why we live as we do.. I liked the things that guy found out on his itemized list.. I wish I could be as sane but I'm not :) Life can give you wounds that never pass even though we try to minimize their showings, still the return to innocence, a most wanted dream.. cheers Yoron.

What a great story. I was especially taken by his relationship with his father. My own father was a flawed man, and I thank my wife for helping me to see that and overcome it. Funny that my folks never liked my spouse, never seeing that she is the best that ever happened to me.

Jennifer was apparently not strong enough to be what Mike needed. She was also screwed up. At least Mike's travels helped him to achieve a catharsis. May he and Jenny go on forever.

A real writer! Damn, how'd you wind up posting here? Loved the depth of your characters, all of them. Wondering if those two will marry again without the prenup? Very, very well done. Please keep writing.

This is a great story, entrancing to the very end. A pity that cloacas hasn't submitted more. This story would be a great basis for an expanded work. Cloacas, if you still visit this site, bravo!

Man that was good writing.

As many others have mentioned you have the ability and skill to touch a cord in all of us. Thank you. I would be a crime if you are not still writing. If you look back at this site from where ever you are drop a line and tell us where you are writing now. I would gladly pay the money for one of your novels. Again thank you

Just that, Poor Bastard

A diary of a dysfunctional rich boy? So many readers loved it? Why? Why even make it into a supposedly loving wives story? Neither the husband or wife cheated. The husband never mentioned that he loved her. You start off like the wife thought the husband had cheated but did not want to do anything at all about it but divorce him immediately. Doing so without any attempt to confront her husband or really find out why? Then at the end only, she says that she really loved him all along; even after admitting to her friend that she had married him for his money and was going ahead with a divorce no matter what; just to get a big piece of it. This story could have been a novel if the characters had really been developed but I don't know why it was in the loving wives section of literotica! She wasn't loving really, didn't cheat, and admits to her friend that she only married for money. The actual story was all about the unhappy rich kid, his unhappy sister, and the bastard father! Other than that, it was of course, good writing! Oh yes, you did throw in a lot of erotic sex with prostitutes or escorts to fulfill that requirement for literotica. But what about the ex-wife's sexual needs all this time they were apart while he traveled? Like both I and others have said, it should have been a novel! I can only guess that so many readers liked it because it kinda read like one!

I can't put into words how much I enjoyed this story. One thing to note, we all have to go through the fire to purify our being and to find out what is really important in life. The relationships in our lives are what life is really about, not nice homes and a big bank account. It's the time I spend with my wife and daughter. It is the time I spend visiting with my daughter late into the night, sharing our dreams and our fears. Living with honor and respect for ourselves and others are what true manhood is about.

Keep up the thoughtful writing.

One of the best of insightful stories. Truth wrapped in fiction. I've known some trustifarians. Some solid achievers, one who never found himself, nor anyone else.

I do not know how some one (anon) can comment on a story when they heven't read it. They can comment on the part they read but not the story. I liked it. And i did read the whole story.....twice. Thanks author for your effort. Jim

This is the second time I've read this chapter. I still thinks it's pointless. The search for identity and wandering around the world discovering your inner self is something that's been written many times before and many times better. All this stream of consciousness stuff (after ingesting LSD?), and spewing nonsense pretending to be deep thoughts. Too 60s. Too pretentious.

This story reminded me of some very wise sayings. The first is:

"Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses."

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."

"Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well.

Let them be only your own, And not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love."

Riches and clothing only have meaning if we share them with the ones we love and trust. "When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table."

I know that there are plenty of people who feel "sorry" for themselves and this story centers on one such person.

It's very hard for me to relate to this person as my life has been completely different. I was POOR, POOR, POOR, alone (orphaned) and yet for some reason, I seldom felt "sorry" for myself at the level this rich guy as he is described.

My hope is that I can win the "BIG" lotto and find out for my self the problem of the very rich.

Very well written.

Wrong Damn Site!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Reader Digest Please.

just like the rich guy! I'm not even sure what his name is. It's not Jack, as far as I know. It's a good story but could you liven it up, please??

I don't know I liked it. His whole world crumbled around him and he realized he didn't like who he had become. Well he traveled the world and found out who he was inside, beyond the riches that never brought him happiness.

I even liked Jenny's pasrt in this chapter. How she DID love him but because he was essentially broken inside it was easier to lie and convince herself it was about the money and that she was still in love with some chump from high school. But she wasn't a heartless gold digger, she demonstrated that by visiting Susan and apologizing for airing her dirty laundry.

I like to think that this time they can make it. Mike found the happiness that he was searching for and with all the air cleared they have a decent shot of making it work the second time around.

You wrote it really well, but I'm still not sure what you really intended to say. Maybe you are Thomas Pynchon, after all. Will we ever figure it out???

I was expecting something more, well I've hit rock bottom. Maybe the next story will be better.

as a edge of the seat thriller it aint, -- you said that.

As a comment on life and how it goes -- ya pretty good--

Most of us are "leading lies of quiet desperation" never quite sure where we belong. Unfortunately like the hero we do not have the resources to travel the globe in search of...

Most of us do not even have the courage to travel the neighborhood we live in.

The most specific line I like in this story is "I am the hero of my own life"

That should be our goal is to be that hero whoever it is.

maybe I am reading too deep, or thinking too deep and maybe it is all deep shit, hell you tell me.

Intelligent and beautifully written. The first tale on this site that has made me wish for more stars.

While scanning the site, this story pops up every once and a while. I always reread it and admire the writing. Wish the author had written more, but maybe he said all he had to in this one, it was his last.

And I'm not sorry I read it. But by about page 3, I was wondering 'what's the friggin point!'

This was like some Jack Keruac piece for a person I didn't really care about. He's rich. He's lost. He' fucked up mentally. Two out of Three of those things are shared by 80% of America but they don't get to disappear to figure things out. They need to feed kids, maintain marriages.

I understand it was a self discovery piece but I'm not sure why it was written. I prefer the first section in that it had a point.

Additionally, the first section was confusing temporally. I didn't know WHEN he was screwing around on Jenny. Jenny wasn't a cheater.

I like your turn of phrase, but I want a STORY, not a diatribe of personal reflection. Excuse me. You can add that too. But it needs to be attached to something. A conflict. There was no conflict here. There was in the first section.

WD could have had this voyage of discovery during a strong divorce story. I liked your court drama. You dropped the story in the first section but forgot to stop writing.

Part one of Prenupt had a story and character. I liked it.

Part two dropped the story and did nothing. The first section of part two when he was nailing broads left and right was temporally confusing. The only character I sort of cared about was Susan. Jenny was a villainess and a mess. Dad was a cypher and the scene where he met dad and talked before destroying his car made no sense at all. I don't know where when why...it was a blank POV image which made to sense to an outsider except as broad strokes. 'Dad dick. Me no like' Okay...

I hope I have clarified my position

Chapter 1 was very good. Chapter 2 was 4 pages of dribble and should have been no more than 2 paragraphs.

Ch1 quite brilliant 5+ stars ch2 not sure it came from the same person craper -5+ stars

the majority of readers of this story have agreed that this is one of the finest stories on the site. It is one of the few stories that are actual literature. This could be in a college textbook: Short Stories 201.

When DWornock hates a story, it probably is an indication that the quality might be pretty good. He's a moron.

If you are looking for a stroke story, avoid this one.

If you have less than good reading skills, by all means avoid this story.

If you are looking for an overwhelming incursion into the human mind, read this. Take your time and savor the meaning behind the words.

You won't be sorry.

I couldn't have said it any better. How you can look at this story and see anything but the magic in the words I have no idea.

ok, sort of a 60's era, finding themselves thing. pretty good - little too wordy in parts.

. . . show up as a guide for me most often when I'm not specifically looking for it. Like for instance when I'm browsing through an erotic story site. Hmmm.

Not very often do I sit after reading one of the stories and just say wow. This was one of those stories.

anything, anything to any of the true good things said of this story. It IS a work of literature. It is beautiful. It is wise, Thank you Cloacas!

Before I wrote my comment I viewed a couple that were before me.

I don't see the meaning. It is just a mixed jumble of psychobabble intertwined with a spoiled rich kid realizing just how fucked up his life really was.

I wish it was just one chapter. I thought ch. 1 was great. Maybe it's me.

Fuck it.

First chapter was great this was rambling rubbish which went pretty much nowhere. Yes he's had a shit life but he's rich so fucking get over it. It was also far too long for what happened and could have been told on one page.

I will also fall into the not impressed category. How many ways can you say that life is strange sometimes and cliché after cliché. It IS well written. The words are well chosen and paint nice images but there is no point. The point to existence is to exist. THERE'S my navel! I thought I had lost it. He's not happy being able to afford to fuck some of the most beautiful women in the world? That is really fucked up.

Meanwhile we have this theme about his anger. It's certainly there. He has a meeting with his father in which nothing really happened beyond the financial review. And yet he was SO angry that he had to break things, including his car. That's pretty screwed up. And it affected his marriage. He was locked into unhappiness.

None of this really showed up in the first story, or at least not enough to make anything of it. Now he is enveloped by this overwhelming downness. Which he revisits continually. Hey, I'm a worthless rich jerk he admits. And he is. But admitting your problem doesn't solve it and doesn't give you absolution for it. His Dad's a bastard. OK. Lots of people have terrible parents that don't leave them wealthy enough to live a life of doing nothing.

As to getting back together with his ex. They didn't love each other, found out, and got divorced. Happens every day. In all his travels he finds no one worth loving. Only Jenny? He still doesn't seem to love her. Is she a glutton for punishment? They seem to have fallen in like. At most we seem to now have a better possibility for love. Is that enough? Four pages to get bare inches further than when this chapter started. If it were any slower it would be moving backward.

Maybe I just need to stop with him and smell the roses. Sniff. Sniff. Achoo!

I gave it five stars because I didn't have the option of giving it ten.

I suppose that there are people out there that would fit into this character by most writers do not author stories about them. I kept waiting for some event that would make a point to this story.... Still waiting I might add. T reread several portions of the story to see if I had missed a salient point that could explain the events as they... Unfolded? Mentioning major characters in the text without introductions until much later gave the story a disjointed feeling and I kept waiting for it to end but it never would or for that matter could. The development was questionable and the characters appeared to have no soul or any other redeeming values. This story never ends it just dies a horrible boring death.

nicely nuanced, and, like real life itself, without a clear and easy resolution - a notion perhaps a bit of a stretch for some of your critics.

betrayed, DWmoron, anyone with low reading comprehension and lacking the capacity for rational thought will not like this; skip it.

Looking for a quick stroke story? These are not the droids you're looking for. Skip it.

HDK, rpsuch, et al (good writers are almost universally good readers) recommend this story and accomplished readers will enjoy it. Don't miss.

This is without a doubt one of my top five stories on this site. It touched me in a way that few stories do. It has a depth to it that, after several readings, I am still trying to plumb. Does life have meaning? If so, what is it? Is the meaning of life our journey to discover it's meaning? I don't comment often, but this story demands my highest praise. I only wish cloacas would grace us with more of his writing - stories like this make this site worthwhile.

This story transcends the LW genre, though Michael and Jenny's characters root it firmly in here as well.

Your story is deeper than any paint-by-numbers cheating wife tale. Your story is of a person doing as well as can be expected given the tools he has, but who then is placed into the position of having to face up to his real ghosts.

It is not an easy road, but true growth never could be easy. And his growth allowed him to see Jenny had grown as well by the end; and the old hates, gripes and conditions no longer mattered, no longer fitted.

I am a BTB guy, a simple person on some levels, and I will still get satisfaction from the BTB crowd. However, I can say, I understand how some people can altogether miss what you have done with this story (especially DW). I don't blame them at all, but nevertheless, they could never come as far along the road as you did with this one. This is writing of a far different caliber.

Outstanding.

this is a great story you get a 5

Excellent writing. Again, your writing is not formulaic. This is real life, murky, confusing, messy . . . Thanks.

this is a tough read... as a professional and involved in detailed agreements.. I found it well put together and more truth than fiction

This was like a piece of fine music--some of the rhythms of the sentences were amazing.

Life is many circles - when you close one you start another

If you fail to close one you will regret it at some point -

Nice closure

So well crafted, that voting a 5 is a no brainer. Only my cynasism and jelousy inspire the comment that it must be nice to have that kind of money to find yourself and travel the world. Would these two been happier if there had never been any money? Don't know, but it doesn't matter. I found myself lost in the exercise of evaluating the meanings of life and love right along with him. So thusly, your story was a rousing success. Thank you for a great work!

This has turned out to be a tale masterfully told. I'm going to embrace the messiness and murkiness of my life and see if I can't make peace with it like Mike did . . .

The story seemed good at the beginning but marred by the writer's philosophy. Too many useless thoughts and after thoughts made it uninteresting.

Nicely written introspection of a wealthy person with family issues. Definitely a mind massage and eye opener. Thanks for the ride.

Thoughtful. Thanks!

This part seemed to get bogged down in his philosophical ramblings. The sex was mundane. Sorry. I like your writing. This just seemed plodding. And he's going to get back together with Jenny? Just don't see it.

This was the most worthless pile of garbage I have ever read. Who the fuck cares about all that philosophical shit. You just kept going on an on, rambling about who knows what the fuck. If this was your idea of an LW tale, you'd better stop publishing here. No need to punish the readers with this miserable crap.

I never commented previously. This was very well written but not that erotic. For many of us, though, a very important part of the meaning of life is fucking -- the hero of this story took a while, but he finally realized it. Best when fucking someone for whom you have feelings. The closeness, the feeling of completion, the chance to generate life -- it's all about fucking! I wish this author would write some more on Lit.