All Comments on 'The Pride of a Slave Ch. 03'

For me, you ruined this by having her apologise and comfort the princes when they treated her so badly! Neither one wanted to hold her trying to give her to Mariah, yet she comforts them? They should be made to feel guilty! It's pretty much like your other story, why can't you write a female lead character that isn't such a wimp? So what if she is a slave, her and the princes have been best friends all their lives, they treat her like nothing because of that bitch, then she comforts them?! Even explaining to Dimitri, why she wasn't eating he still pretty much treats her like she is nothing! How can he not feel special before after everything she has done for him? Is he so full of himself that the bitch is the ONLY one to have ever made him feel special because he could fuck her? Then she runs straight to Ryders room in the middle of the night. But I guess you'll have her get together with Dimitri or Ryder and they will cheat on her with the bitch, again pretty much the same as your other story, this is just worded differently. If the bitch hates humans, why was she so scared of Sera? Is this story going to be like the last with so many unanswered questions?

I am really pissed off with both Dimitri and Ryder. I think Sera should get a life apart from them..Her Art Professor might not be a bad choice. Maybe if they find out they're no longer the centre of her universe, they'll shape up. I can't even decide if I want her to end up with Dimitri or Ryder or both of them(lol) or none of them...hmmm

Anyway, it's your story so feel free to write it however you want. We'll be reading.

Can I just say....MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!

To Anon, considering what she is feeling with her mom dying and literally no one to fall back on I think Sera is allowed to be a little weepy. I love how you play all the emotions and this is one of the best nonhuman stories showing us that even the immortals can be stupid too.

Would love to see how Joseph and Sera play out their out of class interactions and hope this is the beginning of her having friends outside of the palace coz there will obviously be immortals who don't have that cruel mindset.

Oh yeah and have Dimetri and Ryder pummel each other without Sera running interference....will serve them right

I thought this chapter added some dynamics to the story. Even though the boys haven't openly commented on Sera's actions, they definitely know about how she feels now. Hopefully when they see her moving on and crushing on another guy they will realize they are not the center of the university, and hopefully repair their friendship. Keep submitting!

Wow. That fight reminded me of Laura kicking the shit out of the boys at there school yard..Seriously, this story so far sounds like an edition of little house on the prairie with a touch of Twilight ! Sorry I don't like it. I'm not cold hearted ,and I enjoy a good story without sex scenes ,as long as it's an adult one.

Kate.

more pls!!!

Don`t know who is more annoying...the Dumb and Dumber duo or the Miss Mexican-soap-opera-leading-lady-in-the-making..........Think I`m gonna pass this story, sorry!

but the behavior and actions of all the main chars just dont seem to be consistent w the first two chapters dev. the little human is still able to beat on adult vamps n weres? plausibility of story ^ ^

I like your story, I hate it that woman always have to be portrayed as bitches to make them appear strong. I like the fact that she soft and compassionate when she has no reason too that makes her far superior to all the immortals. It has happened before where the author was bullied by comments to make her main character 'strong' but her whole change of attitude put me off. She did show her strength though when she kicked their asses. I think the boys are under a spell or something I hope you will reveal whats up though it is frustrating knowing something is up but still not sure if the guys are just being assholes.

But please make them a bit more consistent and pretty please give us a complete story this time. I have to agree with that made me pretty pissed as well how the last story ended ;) but still I cannot help but love the tension.

I LOVE IT, can't seem to pull myself from the story unless I'm done reading it. Great job, can't wait for the next chapter!!!

wonderful! she is a little naive ... what will she do when ryder becomes interested, maybe

On your first day of school you discover that you are the heads of the very best click in school and you aren't expected to react to that! Da, of course the boys believed their own hype who wouldn't? That they lost track of Sera is the real shame but not all that surprising when you bring Delilah into the picture. Again they got sucked in by the hottest girl in school. That Sera has not only a new human friend but that she has a crush on that same friend (professor) Joesph can only make the story more interesting. Keep up the excellent work because I want more!

I like this story, i have to agree i think that there is more going on with Dimitri than we think, again i have to wonder if it is a spell or somewhat or even if it that fact that he has feeling for her but they scare him so he runs. I thought for a moment that he may have gotten his head on right but we shall see. I love the fact that she has someone she can relate to and maybe see something happening with in the teacher. Make one wonder what the boys will think of this or better yest what will Dimitri think of it. Keep up the good work and can not wait for the next chapter. Also it's nice to know what is going on with the site i am reading another story, and they update like every 2days non stop and it's been almost 5days with nothing but i have been seeing that things do not get updated like they used to. But non the less good work and keep it coming i can not wait to see were the romance is going to go with this.

The way this is written I feel Sera's pain. To be ignored by the ones you thought loved you and then treated like you are a slave after all this time of not being one to them. I think she hit it on the nose Di is Embarrassed that he is friends with a human. Although it's so funny it's the human that is able to keep those two simpletons from cutting each other into pieces. Then there's the feelings that are there, hell when my bf and I grew into young adults I still never felt anything for him even though all the other females did... So I wonder what's up with that? Will she have the same reaction with Rhys? if not then ummm how will Sera deal with the blows that are about to be dealt. It doesn't look like Di is going to stop seeing that of Vamp any time soon.

I see they still don't understand her pain and it just seems like they aren't going to try and understand it either. It's so sad I hope her Art teacher offers some type of comfort with him being human and being able to understand her more.

Now on a side note... I so miss reading your everyday submissions. So I find myself stalking to see if you have more of this story placed. I so love your writing and can't wait to see what Sera and Tweedle Dee and Dumb are going to do next.

wonderfuullllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the submission, I love this story and can not wait for the next chapter! You are VERY talented!

I love your stories, but I think this series is your best! It's cohesive, well written, and I like how it isn't based on sex, but it has the romance that pulls the reader in! You have the makings to become a great writer, and these stories have the makings to become a great novel! Keep it up, but consider getting a new editor because sometimes there are errors both grammatical and spelling wise. Truly great job otherwise! Thank you for giving me something intriguing to read!

This story is very compelling. I feel Sera's pain and frustration. Poor thing is the only one that keeps the Princes from killing each other. Their parents can't seem to control them and they depend on Sera to do it. She could have tremendous power if she didn't have to deal with being a slave. Way to go on the interaction with Joseph! Hopefully he'll give Sera the support she needs and help her find her inner strength so she can kick both Princely asses into submission!

Another amazing story I just wish they would come faster and longer I was nearly clawing my eyes out from waiting for the next installment

I have to agree with a previous comment, get a new editor. Yes the odd mistake will happen but there are quite a lot of mistakes for an "edited" story. Actually, I honestly think the ones you didn't get edited have less errors :-S I'm sure your editor is a lovely guy but I think it is time to part ways especially if you are getting your work back with more mistakes than when you sent it to him.

But, it is still my favourite story series on this site. You have achieved the impossible and have overthrown jazcullen as my favourite author :D keep it up!!!!!!!!!!

and want more asap!!

however i disagree with people hoping that the boys are under a spell, will be much more interesting if they are simply acting of their own free will! in my world id like to see the relationship with joseph develop to the extent that the boys have to face the fact they are being silly or lose her completely :) in fact, have a big verbal fight between her and the boys, she walks out and ends up living with joseph and they have to suck up to get her back when the pretty popular girl chucks them for a better offer haha. At the moment im not a fan of her falling head over heals for Dimitri, he is being an idiot and if they do end up together he needs to work for it, man up and learn not to be embarassed by her.

but of course, big fan of the story and look forward to seeing where you take it :)

I think I see a window that opened when your said boys do stupid things when they are trying to get there mind off something .... hopefully someone ;) I would love to see some romance with her and the princes (: of course with a little force. I love your story! I check every day!

Love this story, I can never get enough!!

Sera might be Ryder and Dimitri's "friend" but keep in mind, she is their servant and their slave. I think that is the reason why she was so quick to comfort them, even after they behaved like asses toward her. She might be getting an education at the same university as the boys, but she is there to serve a purpose: to act as a soothe-sayer between the boys. Ryder and Dimitri are going to be kings eventually and it is best for both of them to be on friendly terms. The last thing Victor and Mariah wants is a war between vamps and werewolves. Speaking of Victor & Mariah, I wonder what ulterior motive do they have? Are they planning on Sera being some type of concubine for both Ryder and Dimitri? Do they want her to carry some super vamp-human-werewolf baby?

I love this story. I will continue to keep a look out for more updates!

I agree with one commenter about the idiocy of her comforting Ryder and Dimitri in the medical building when they should be the ones comforting her, the dolts! I do like the interesting dynamics between Di and Sera evolving and hope that continues in that direction. Her emotional lability is very understandable due to the upheavals going on in her life, so I do not mind her weepiness . In fact, I think you did a great job in how you showed her emotions and feelings in her blow up with the boys in the nurse's office and again during her intimate conversation with Di, although his stomping off to be by himself was just plain weak. Dude, get over yourself and be there for the girl who has always been there for you. Man up!

Your writing style is very fluid for the most part and makes for a great story. However, the grammar mistakes are really distracting and frustrating. You have no question marks or apostrophes to show possessives, just to name a couple of punctuation issues. You say you have an editor, but man are there a lot of mistakes, BIG ones. They take away from that fluidity and overall effect, which is such a shame because the story itself is fantastic so far.

Other than that, I will bookmark this story to see what happens next. Thanks for writing it!

-Lisa

Is it just me? I thought the vamp girl's name is Patrine and not Delilah ^^

What's up with the Princes? I first thought that they are merely protecting Sera from the other immortals, for their attention to be on them and not on her so that she could go to uni peacefully. But I guess I was wrong. Now, I would find it reasonable if that vamp has them under a spell. I mean, how could they change in one night?

Ah, I wouldn't go into the mistakes you made in this chapter because they are the same as the previous ones which others have pointed out ^^

I got only a few feet before I listened to Isadorre yelling, "someone had better explain what's going on, and I don't want to hear a single syllable out of you Miss Patrine. And while your at it, someone can tell me why she has a bruise as black as my hair on her wrist!!!"

Patrine is a surname OTL

Go Sera! Its great that she put the boys in their place, and what a way to do it! And the moment with her and Dimitri - ahhh... :) cant wait for more in this area, hope he gets it soon. Little competition from the art teacher might help by kicking up some jealousy?!! Some people posted about mistakes, honestly i do notice a few but it doesnt bother me or distract from the story AT ALL.

As always i check twice daily for new chapters like a stalker, thanks for letting us know that its Lit that is taking their time. Although i will still stalk!!

Thoes to princes piss me off after all she has done for them and the one time she needs them they werent there i wanted to cry sometimes and wanted to kick there ass and make them realize what they have and what they werent apprecating they went after that slut instead of seein her for who the bitch was cant wait to see your next chapter!!!!

one of the princes is in denial, do not know about the other one yet, and the vamp bitch is up to something , what , i do not know, but i think it has to do with sera, that she is in the way of something that some one wants

The first damned page made me cry. Poor Sera. I felt horrible for her. Only request as always....Longer chapters please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The character development is fantastic. Other than that, I've read most of the other comments and they cover it very well.

This is a great story. I am enjoying it so much. The way you develop the characters interactions is amazing. I want to read more. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Am so enjoying this story great storyline so far I wish she ends up with her professor instead of Dimitri because its obvious that her prof appreciates her and Dimitri hasn't changed at all his still blind to Delilahs flaws i'd really like to see the guys fighting over Sera rather than her waiting in vain for someone whose busy being a snob

What a fitting name for that character.

Great chapter.

This is truely amazing. You should make a whole book and series about this and mabe try to find a publisher. I would definetly buy this

I'm really enjoying this series. You develop your characters very well, they aren't simple-minded objects and I really enjoy reading that. I hope you update soon, this story is quickly becoming addicting.

Keep it up! Each chapter is better than the last. I don't see anything wrong with the way the characters are. If people don't like how they are, well, they should write their own story. Continue on as you would, and please don't let any of these comments influence how you've been writing.

Thank you for posting more than one page chapters. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

The vampire girls name is Delilah Patrine, most teachers when they use Miss, use your last time, at least thats been my experience anyway. Im glad you guys like this chapter and Im sure you will love the next chapter. Its submitted so now we are just waiting on Literotica. Anymore questions, please post them, and I'll try to answer them as much as possible.

--Stormy

This is very good! Though I would like to see some Ryder X Sera action....so far we get to see different levels of Dimitri but not Ryder.

Please please hurry on the next chapter I'm dying to read it! !! Great job

Wonderful! This is the first time I left a comment. Great job. Please make the chapters a little bit longer and post as frequently as you used to if you can. The waiting is just so painful :) thank you for giving us this beautiful story to read.

BESTSELLER !!!

more! more! more! amazing story! I wouldn't doubt you being able to sell this as a book when you've finished it! Keep it coming!!

this is really good. i love your stories. i am somewhat upset with how long it takes you to submit these however. you told us in the last story that you were several chapters ahead. if you are, then why are we waiting?

Very, VERY rarely do I come across a story that I don't find needs at least a little bit of tweaking here and there. Sometimes the conversation is too scripted or corny, sometimes the plot line is stale and overdone, sometimes there are plot holes or disjointed writing that interrupts the flow....it's usually something, even something small.

HOWEVER, I'm actually pretty astonished that this story is so well-developed and has such nicely rounded characters. The characters aren't put into typical moulds, so it's difficult to predict where they will take you. I find myself cheering for one character one moment, then changing minds and cheering for another one later on. Moreover you've managed to take a nonhuman category that everyone is playing on, and turn it into something unique and fresh. Many start that way, but few can keep it up. I'm so glad you seem to be accomplishing it.

I'm also so VERY glad that you update and post more regularly than a lot of authors. You've posted within the last couple of weeks and that's great. Don't sacrifice quality for faster turnaround time, you're doing great and I hope you keep it up. That being said, please don't take more than a couple of weeks to post the next one, I don't think my heart could stand the wait :)

more more more!!!! plz write more!:)

i was in the middle of reading a book when i found this story. now i cant focus on ant thing else. please please please write more soon.

:) still in love with this story. I can not wait to see where this goes, so many out comes running through my head. I'm looking forward to which one you pick.

I really love this story I hope you continue with it and I just hope that the chapters come sooner I can't wait to read more thanks!!!

How dare you allow subtle flirting and hinting and crushes!? I thought the rules here stated that authors must fling their characters into wild orgies at the first opportunity.

How'd this get past the inspection?

Excuse me, I must go have a word with management.

...but I think you may need to find a new editor. There are so many grammatical errors that have been ignored. Other than that, I really enjoy the story so far, so keep up the good work!

I think this is an amazing story. It has my attention and heart I can`t wait to read the next chapter.

I can't really tell you how much I enjoy coming back to this story to read and re-read it. The only thing I hate is that at this point, I know that I only have 2 chapters left before I'm going to be left wanting. It's a shame, I wish you would put up another chapter as the wait is painful. I do love to read, and truly enjoy reading your work. PLEASE come back to it.

Cheers

I'm running out of chapters too fast! This is great!

Much more open, definitely something to work with.

Ryder seems to have been all but shunted to the side in this chapter, I doubt it will continue, and I have a hard time believing that he wouldn't be the one to make the first move on Sera...

I guess I'll be finding out because I am enjoying the characters.

JT

I'm a greedy reader. Especially when I enjoy a story. With that said, I love this story and the characters. I wish the chapters were as long as the first. But I will take anything. Thank you so much for sharing this story.