The Privacy Flights

"Maybe some guys would not want to know any more about it. Just shut it out of their minds and move on. I can't do that. I can't stop imagining what might have happened. I just need to know, and then deal with that. I can't keep dealing with everything I can imagine."

"Okay, well... You're saying what you can't do, so I'll tell you what I can't do. I can't just make something up. I can't invent a narrative that will help you feel better. And you know that wouldn't be right for us anyway. So I'm not going to try to memorize a bunch of lies. If you're going to make me talk about what really happened, all I can do is tell you what really happened. And hearing all that might not make you feel any better. It might make you feel worse. So maybe we should just move on."

"No. If the real truth will make all this even harder, all the more reason I need to know it. Know who you are, and who we are."

Both of them pause and let that sink in. Jessie looks stricken, maybe close to tears, but then finally straightens up and says, "Okay... so... so you want me to talk about it... okay. So it's going to make you angry... and jealous... but I won't be able to tell it all to an angry jealous husband I'll never get through it if you go crazy when you hear it. Even though... well... I guess you have every right to. So if you really think you have to hear it, you've got to just sit and listen. Like you're my best friend. I mean... you are my best friend... we both know that... but this is going to be different."

"Okay. I hear you. And I've already said I have to hear it all. So I'll try to just listen. I'll try..."

"Okay... Okay... So... First, I don't understand it myself. Since that flight, I'm just shaking my head. I can't believe what I did. So how did it happen? I don't know. He was funny. He was direct... in a roundabout way... I wouldn't exactly call it 'honest', but he didn't really try to disguise what he was hoping to accomplish. He just made me laugh about it."

Jessie looks away, searching for the words... "Somehow, he just took me back to my life before I met you. When I could do whatever I wanted. Before my commitment to you. To us. For eight hours, I just went back in time. To the 'me' before 'us'. So how did it happen? I don't know..."

"And I'll tell you another thing I don't know... that keeps nagging at me... You're going to want me to promise you now that something like this will never ever happen again. But since I don't really understand how it happened this time, how can I promise that to you... to us... Could you make that promise to me, and bet our marriage on that promise? I don't think you could. You wouldn't want to take that chance either."

Kevin says evenly, "I'd say that I've just demonstrated I can resist some pretty strong temptation."

"Don't you think some of that was because of the pain you were in. I mean it has shown me how much pain I put you in, and I feel terrible about that. But if that woman lay down next to you in the night six months from now, I don't think you can be as sure about what you would do. But I didn't think enough about how bad this would be for you. I think that if I had thought about that more clearly, I wouldn't have done what I did. But that's easy for me to say now. I guess we'll never know."

Jessie now looks Kevin in the eye. "Last week I would have told you that something like this could never happen. Never. And I would have believed it. So now what do I say? I don't want it to ever happen again, because what we have is too special to lose. I won't carelessly trash our lives and then hate myself forever. I won't do that. I won't, I won't, I won't! But all I can do now is whatever it takes to get back to 'us'. Does any of that make sense to you? Help answer your question of 'what happened'''?

"It doesn't even start to answer 'what happened', but I guess it tells me something of how it happened. And your confusion about it. I can hear you're probably telling it as best you can. And that's a start. So now tell me what happened."

"Well, it's really hard to talk about. I guess I'm kind of... ashamed."

"Okay! Good! That's the most hopeful news I've heard since your plane took off. And I expect you should be ashamed. So start at the beginning. Clarify your shame for me. We can start again with 'Were you on top, or did you decide to let him on top of you?'"

"The first time, I was on top."

"The first time!? Oh. I see... sure..."

"Well, it was a long flight. You knew that was going to be a factor... The second time, he was on top."

"Okay... Did you have an orgasm?"

"I did."

"More than one?"

"Yes."

"How many?"

"Um... well..."

"HOW MANY!?"

"Wait! I'm thinking..." Jessie looks away, trying to recreate her experiences in her mind, but shrinking from what she is finding there. Finally she says, "Um... seven, I guess."

"SEVEN!? My god! What were you doing? There was like seven or eight hours available, right? You used your time well. Just how did you accomplish that? How did we get from 'Oh Kevin, there's nothing to worry about' to seven orgasms? How many times did he screw you? Or you screw him?"

"Twice I guess. Or two sessions, anyway. Like I said. But the first one went on for a while. Well, they both did. But in the first one, I was sitting on him. He was taking his time. And he had already been working on me a long time before he finally got me up on top of him. So I guess I went off pretty quickly once I got up there. And then he was still taking his time, like I said. So I went off again. And then the plane ran into some rough air and we got the seat belt announcement. So he strapped me down on top of him, with him still inside me, and we were moving around like that a while."

"Then the flight got pretty bumpy. And that was kind of weird. Like some giant unseen force banging us together. Banging him into me, again and again. So then we hit another air pocket, this time a really big one. So you're floating for a few moments and then bang, you suddenly hit bottom and get bucked upwards. And when that hit, it really banged us together... and he finally went over... and when I realized he was going off, then I guess feeling that sent me off again. I mean... we were like... strapped together pretty tightly... so while we came... we were staying... fully connected. After that, the flight smoothed out. Then we fell asleep for a little while I guess."

"Damn... So did you retreat to neutral corners? Or were you cuddled up against him? "

"Um.. yeah. I guess we were cuddled up."

"Shit... So then what?"

"Well we napped. Then we woke up."

"What woke you up?"

"Well you know... When you cuddle like that... His hand is going to be cupping my breast. So I felt him squeezing her some earlier, but I managed to elbow him to stop and then get back to sleep. But when I woke up again later, he was playing with my nipple again. I guess that woke me up. Then he started fiddling around some more... I guess he was fiddling around all over me. Then he rolled up on top of me."

"And you spread your thighs wide for him."

"Kevin! Don't do that! Don't always try to make things sound as lurid as possible. Yeah, I spread my legs. You thought maybe this time I would have sex with my knees together? Shit. You wanted to hear it all."

"Yeah, okay... okay. So... you were on your back for the second session?"

"Um... I didn't sit on him again."

"Okay... You didn't sit on him again. So what aren't you telling me?"

"I guess he got me up on my elbows and knees for some of it."

"Yeah, of course...what was I thinking...? You had a full flight. I know you tried to warn me... So how many orgasms in Session II?"

"Um... just three... I think..."

"You think?"

"Well... the third one went on for a while... but I'd say it was all really just one orgasm."

"You don't know if it was one orgasm or more than one? I think that's usually pretty clear to you. What was going on to cause this confusion?"

"Kevin, please... It isn't that important. You don't really want to hear all this..."

"Maybe I won't like hearing it, but I need to hear it. And I haven't been raging at you, have I? I'm just sitting here like the supportive and fascinated best friend you said I had to be, right? So spill it!"

"Oh Kevin... Oh, god..." Jessie shakes her head and looks away in what seems close to despair. "I've warned you that I can't just make up a story for you... So it's the truth or nothing." Finally she says, "Okay. Okay."

Jessie begins to narrate, still looking off into space. "We started off with me on my back, and he was enjoying that but not in any hurry, so after a while I had an orgasm. Then I guess I came once more when he was working me from behind. I've already said how he could take a long time to come. But the last time he'd come was when we had been strapped together, and that must have been a couple of hours... So now he had me back on my back. And after some messing around, like getting my ankles up by my ears, we went back to straight missionary, and he began to get more excited and started going harder and faster. It seemed like he was finally going to get off, and his excitement got me going again. So then I thought he was finally going to come, and I started to come again. But he didn't come, he just kept going, harder and faster, harder and faster. And I just kept coming, my whole body in rhythmic contractions. I don't remember ever just going on like that. It must have been like maybe a couple of minutes. Or more. But that sounds crazy. I don't know. Just on and on. But finally, I began to fade. I mean it was still feeling really good. It was like... incredible. But my body just couldn't keep going any longer. But then just as I was really starting to give it up, he went into an even higher gear. And then... he finally went off. He stopped going in and out, he just stayed all in and kept thrusting hard against me... and then it seemed like I could feel him spurting off inside me. Pretty seriously. So when I began to feel that, well... Pussy was off to the races again. I didn't think she could possibly go any longer, but suddenly she was back into it, and it seemed like the spasms were even stronger. And he just kept pumping himself into me. And I just kept coming. It got scary. I don't know what happened then. I must have passed out. When I woke up, he was asleep, still on top me. And still inside me."

Jessie finally turns back to look Kevin in the eye. "So I guess that was just one long orgasm. But whether it was one, or two, or maybe more... it's hard to think about really."

There is a period of silence, and then Kevin says, "Yeah. You're right. It is hard to think about... So after that... then what?"

"Well, I managed to wake him up enough to get him out of me and off me, but then he just fell asleep again, lying with his face on my chest."

"Okay... okay. So... does that cover the general thrust of your airborne experience? Or do you have more surprises for me?"

"Well... We're in new territory here. I'm not really sure what will surprise you."

"Okay... well... that doesn't sound good. I guess we'll just have to see. But first... I have to ask... so how big was this guy?"

"Oh, God. That... He was about as long as you, I guess. Maybe a little longer, but not surprisingly long. He was kind of thick though. But he didn't brag on his size. He joked that his tongue was as long as his penis."

"Huh!?"

"Well... it wasn't really. But it was pretty long."

"So how long was his tongue?"

"Um... well... I'm not sure where you'd measure it from... if both our mouths are open.... But he could make me gag, if that gives you some idea..."

"Shit. Yeah. Okay. "

"So after the second session, the one with him mostly on top, we napped again for a while. His face was on my breasts. But later when I woke up, I realized his face was sliding down my body, lower and lower. I didn't stop him. I guess he wanted to show me what his tongue could do.

"I didn't think I'd be able to come again... I mean... I'd already gone over six times! That was crazy for me. But I guess I thought it would be okay for him to root around down there a little. Just to see about this tongue he was bragging on."

"So he got down there and licked and sniffed around a little while. Then he slid the tongue in and rolled it around some... Like I said, it was pretty long. Pretty big. And I must have been still pretty full of him already, but he didn't seem to mind. I guess maybe he was used to that. So he was pretty good at what he was doing. And a penis can't curl around at the tip... and tickle whatever that spot is."

"But I'd figured that after a while he'd get bored and come back up. But after he'd been at it for a little while, he sorted of shifted his body around and down lower, like getting to a more comfortable position. Like he was just going to stay down there. And I began to realize that he was just going to keep doing that until he felt me orgasm. As long as it took. The tongue tickling and squirming and then sucking on my clit and then more tickling and squirming. And I felt kind of helpless. I lay back and stared at the ceiling, and felt it going on and on. Like there was nothing I could do. This was never going to end. It was just going to go on and on. And I think when I fully understood that, it was probably what sent me over the top. So I came again. That was my seventh. He said my contractions on his tongue were the strongest he'd ever felt. Do you believe that? I mean, he said a lot of things."

Kevin just shook his head and looked away. After a moment, he said, "I've never thought it was very cool to compare one woman to another... to tell the woman I love what other women have been like... but no, that doesn't surprise me. You're very powerful... down there. Yeah, you're the strongest I've felt. So that's yet another experience I get to share with Danny Boy. That asshole."

"Oh, God... Kevin... What am I doing? I'm sorry... You're being so good, and suddenly I'm just unloading to you about it. Like I'm telling my secret news to... well... to my best friend. But I know this is awful. I was awful. But please keep being the way you're being... Please don't go crazy on me."

"Just go on... just go on. What then?"

"Then I guess we just lay there a while... sort of absorbed it all, I guess..."

"So I guess every time he had an orgasm, you were able to join him. What a great team player. Right?"

"Well, um... pretty much, I guess... but... well.. not exactly..."

"I must have gotten confused. What am I missing? Another one of his?"

"Well... after he licked me to my seventh... there was still probably like two hours left in the flight..."

"Yeah... right. So...?'

"Well, he'd just been so nice to me..."

"NO! Really? You couldn't just leave it at that? Leave

him at that? He'd already had a very rewarding flight. Far better than the prick deserved."

"Well, he'd only had two... to my like seven. And he'd just been down on me. It just seemed like... it was kind of natural for me to... and by that time it was clear he'd be very appreciative... about that."

"Incredible. Shit. Okay... And just how did you finish that up?"

"Well... he'd been taking so long before... I thought I'd have some time to get myself arranged... but this time he went pretty fast. Surprised me. He must have liked what I was doing. But then it happened so suddenly, I didn't really get a chance to have him spray somewhere else. And then there was really no place to spit. So I just..."

"So in the end you just swallowed him all up?"

"Well, I thought that I had probably swallowed a little of it already. My mouth had gotten pretty full. So when he was finally done, my mouth was maybe even leaking a little, and I just thought 'Oh, what the hell... Wouldn't it be simpler if I just...'? So I managed to swallow the rest of it."

"Oh, geez... So then you sucked him empty? Licked him clean?"

"God... Kevin... Don't. Please don't"

"Damn! I think I'm going to be sick.... So yeah, that surprises me. My wife going down on this guy she just met. And finishing him off! And swallowing him up! You shit! Yeah, you bet I'm surprised."

"You're right. It's bad. It's crazy. I can't explain it. It just seemed like such a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Never again could I be this wild and crazy, pretend that I was still just a kid. I guess I was just checking off all the boxes."

"A once in a lifetime thing... Just checking off all the boxes, huh? Well he didn't get into your butt, did he?"

Jessie looks away, unable to form her answer.

"Jessie?"

Jessie continues to stare blankly, as if she were to say nothing at all, then perhaps the question would just go away.

"JESSIE!!!"

Jessie startles but is still unable to think of anything better to say, so she simply says, "Yeah, I guess he did. At the end."

"You 'guess' he did!!? So that's your best guess to explain why you felt something getting stuck up your ass!? You think it might have been his dick!?"

"Yeah. He did. He got into my butt. "

"I can't believe it. I'm in shock. How could you have agreed to all that? With this guy you just met ... "

"Well, I never actually agreed to that part. Or by the time I did, it was a done deal. I had been dozing... with my back to him... and he was sort of fumbling around, like he might try to get into beaver from the back again on his own? Without contacting me first? But then that stopped, and he withdrew for a while. It turned out he had some oil in his pack he was putting on himself. But I didn't know what he'd been doing, and when he came back I still thought sort of dimly that he might try for the beaver again. But he lined up on my butt and just went right in. Well that woke me up for sure. I twisted my head and looked at him and said something like 'You really don't care, do you. You don't care how it will feel in the morning, you don't care what she'll think of you when it's all over. You've just got to go for all of it. Anything you think you can get, you've got to go for it."

"He shuffled and ducked like you'd expect. 'Was this the wrong thing? It didn't seem like you'd mind...' "

"I said, 'At this point do you even give a shit what I'd mind? Just finish up.'"

"So he did. It hurt some, but not too much. It was really just uncomfortable. And I'm sure that part of the discomfort was how I was feeling by then about the guy I had back there. I was really just lying there taking it, trying to understand how I had ever got myself in that position. I mean... in that situation. How had this happened to me? And would I ever be able to make this up to you?"

Kevin has been listening to this narrative almost numb. Now as Jessie is suddenly talking about the two of them again, his latent anger jumps to the front of his thoughts. "So while you were letting this guy fuck you up the butt, you were thinking about me. Well that's very sweet."

Jessie does not back down from his sarcasm. "If a woman is having sex with one guy, and by the end, all she can think about is how much she loves another guy, well, I think that might mean something. "

"So did you come up with any insights? Those are tough questions. How do you make it right for the guy you're thinking about while you're fucking another guy? Sounds like a great question for an advice columnist."

Jessie looks away. She too is groping for those answers. Finally she says, "All the answers depend on you. Whether you'll forgive me. Whether you'll let me show you how much I love you. Let me make it up to you. I'm ready to do anything I can to get you back to where we were. In our lives together, and in bed too. Next week, or next month... or tonight... Whenever you're ready."

Kevin snorts in annoyance. "So now you feel so guilty and compromised that you'll let me do anything that might feel good for me, even though you'll be hating it. That's crap. I can't work that way. You know that. You know I've always been excited as much for your pleasure as my own."