The Problem With Immortality Ch. 17

"Well, I definitely want an efficient penis, don't I?" said Carl, not entirely happy about this process.

"I'll mark that as a 'yes', then," said Bill. "Next item. Do you want your penis to have fins?"

"Fins?

"Aerodynamic fins, along the base of the penis, to reduce wind resistance while you're thrusting. It's very popular."

Carl shook his head skeptically.

"We'll pass on that," said Jennifer.

"Would you like an internal light? It's almost microscopic, we could build it into the head of the penis, you'd never know it was there" said Bill.

"Why would I want or need a light source at the head of my penis?" Carl asked.

"You get way better footage from the camera that way."

"The camera?"

"You also get a microscopic holocamera built into the head, free of charge. That way you and your loved one can review the footage later."

"The footage... of the inside of her vagina?"

"Sure. Think how exciting it will be watching your penis erupt. It will be like watching a tidal wave in a small tunnel."

"Oh Carl. Please get the supplemental light source, please!"

"All right," said Carl.

"By the way, the camera we put in your head will also measure penis velocity, acceleration, and total distance travelled back and forth, from start to finish. You'll be able to download all this information to your datapad."

"Swell," said Carl.

"Interesting," said Jennifer, her eyes shining.

Nurse Lucia brought out a tray of new objects. They looked like...

"Penis heads. Choose the shape you like best, Jennifer," said Bill. "Oh, and you too, Carl, of course."

Jennifer looked at the bewildering choices of penis head shapes. There were all different kinds of round and oval shapes, with small variations. Some were obviously more artistic than others. Some had sharp edges, like one that was square shaped. Another was shaped like a triangle, with a pointy tip!

"I'll take that one," said Carl, pointing to the triangular penis head.

"Carl!" said Jennifer. "If you do that, you'll never get inside me ever again!"

He grinned at her. "What would you like inside of you, my sweet?"

Jennifer looked at all the shapes. Her eye latched on to an especially bulbous one, one she knew would rub her well inside. "I think... that one."

"Sign me up, Doc," said Carl.

Jennifer leaned forward and kissed him. "You are being so good about all of this!"

He smiled back at her.

"Ok, next. Lucia?"

Lucia brought out a tray of what looked like eggs.

"What are these?"

"Testicles. Would you like his bigger?" Bill asked.

Jennifer looked at the testicles. Some of them looked huge. Then she looked at Carl's penis.

"Before you answer, remember that we are sizing up his penis as well. If you don't size up his testicles, it's going to look odd," Bill warned.

Jennifer grinned. "I want those!" she said, pointing to one of the largest oval shapes.

"Jennifer!" said Carl. "I'm not a bull!"

"You make love like one," said Jennifer, giving him a kiss. She worked her hands between his legs unashamedly. In moments, Carl was agreeing to the largest testicles she had selected.

"All right, we're almost done with Carl. Last thing, would you like a clitoris scratcher?"

"A clitoris scratcher?"

"It would be a curved edge, on the top of the base of your penis, rigid to the touch, which would automatically rub against Jennifer's clitoris when you're having sex with her."

"Oh, yes, Carl, get the clitoris scratcher, get the clitoris scratcher!"

Carl looked at the clitoris scratcher. It would look really, really odd to have this curved fleshy shape protruding from the base of his penis. "No."

"Awww...."

"All right, so that about does it for Carl. What about you, Jennifer?"

"What about me?"

"Well, at Build Your Own Penis, our bread and butter are penises, of course. But we also do vaginas. We have gold, silver, and bronze vagina plans that meet your every need."

"Tell us what you've got, doc," said Carl, looking more interested by the minute.

"Well, let's start with the breasts, and work our way down."

********

"What's wrong with my breasts? My breasts are fine," said Jennifer, grabbing them defensively. She had even expanded them to a C cup, after she and Anson... she and Anson....

"Your breasts are most beautiful, dear," said Bill diplomatically, "but sometimes more can be a good thing."

"You don't want my breasts any bigger, do you, Carl? Tell them, Carl, tell them," said Jennifer.

Carl didn't immediately answer.

"You do want my breasts bigger?" Jennifer asked, a little surprised.

Carl had been thinking of nothing else since he had seen Judy Ford's D cups. He would love to see them on Jennifer. "I wouldn't mind seeing how going a tiny bit larger might look on you... as an experiment."

"Carl, how could you?" said Jennifer, shocked.

"Hey!" said Carl. "You want me to enlarge my penis. What's that supposed to do for my ego?"

"Oh Carl, you're so right," she said, hugging him. "Please forgive me! I'm just being insecure! Pick a size, any size, I'll do whatever you want!"

"I think a 36 D should do nicely," said Carl quickly. A little too quickly, as if he had thought this out long before now.

"Jennifer, are you all right with that?" said Bill.

Jennifer nodded.

"And what about shape?"

"Don't you like them round, like these," said Jennifer, putting her hands under her breasts.

"I do," said Carl. "But also... it's nice if they're pouty. Just a little tear droppy, if you know what mean."

"I know what you mean. We can do that," said Bill, before Jennifer even got a chance to comment. "Now, down to the vagina. Would you like an intelligent labia?"

"An intelligent labia?" Jennifer asked.

"One that will instinctively grab a penis tightly. It will provide much greater friction when it goes in and out."

"Yes, yes, definitely the intelligent labia," said Carl, getting into this.

Jennifer looked at Carl inquisitively.

"That is, if it's all right with you, honey," said Carl sweetly.

Jennifer laughed and nodded.

"All right. Now, I presume you also want the string bean clitoris?"

"String bean clitoris?"

Bill sighed. "The clitoris was always poorly designed. Not by its function, but by its placement. It's often too far out of the action to do any real good. A string bean clitoris would expand your clitoris so that it is four inches long and ride along the roof of your vagina. When Carl here thrusts in and out of it there will be no way he can avoid rubbing it. It will easily increase your pleasure three or four hundred percent."

"A string bean clitoris! I want that!" said Jennifer, all smiles.

"Unfortunately, that costs extra, it only comes with our gold vagina plan, not our silver or bronze vagina programs."

"I'll do it," said Jennifer.

"Good," said Bill, smiling as he made the notation. "Now, I presume you want bioluminescent areolas and labial lips?"

"Bioluminescent?"

"Our latest achievement in biofarming manipulation. As you get closer and closer to orgasm, the increased blood flow will cause your areolas and labia to glow."

"Yeah, that could be good!" said Carl.

"I'll take it," said Jennifer.

Bill made a notation. "Bioluminescent areolas and labial lips. Good. Now, your pubes. Would you like a different color? A different texture?"

Jennifer looked at Carl, who merely smiled and shrugged.

"Are you sure?" said Bill. "We can make your pubes thicker. Much thicker."

"To what end?"

"We can make it so thick that you can trim it to form symbols."

"What kind of symbols?" Carl asked.

Bill punched up a holographic display.

Carl immediately saw something he liked. "A down arrow, oh yeah!"

"Carl!" said Jennifer.

"No, even better... two big down arrows, right above your vagina! That's it, make her hair thicker, and shave off all the rest, until all she has left is two big arrows pointing to her vaj."

"No, Carl," Jennifer protested weakly.

"It's not permanent. None of this is. You can always let it grow in again," said Bill.

"Oh... all right," said Jennifer.

"Next is internal muscle strength. Nurse Lucia?"

Nurse Lucia smiled and gestured for Jennifer to stand up. She took Jennifer to what looked like a holographic golfing simulator, and then inserted what looked like a golf club into her vagina. The handle went in several inches.

"What is this for?"

"We're going to increase the strength of your vaginal muscles, to increase your ability to grip a man inside of you. This will simulate the internal pressure. Swing, please."

Jennifer saw a row of golf balls at her feet. With some difficulty, she swung her body, trying to make the golf club move. It did, but it missed the ball.

"Lucia, help her."

Lucia grabbed Jennifer by the ass and positioned her better. "Try again, dear," she said, whispering into her ear.

Jennifer swung again, and this time made contact with the ball. But it only moved a few inches.

"Increase her to a five. No, a seven," said Bill. Lucia made an adjustment on the instrument pad and asked Jennifer to swing again. This time, when she hit the ball, it went halfway across the room.

"That's too much," said Bill. "He'll climax on the first stroke. Better give her a six." He turned to Carl. "She won't be any narrower, but because of her stronger internal muscles, she will feel much tighter. You'll love it."

"I'm sure I will," Carl grinned. He was really getting excited about this now!

"Now Jennifer, would you like a magnetic penis holder?"

"A magnetic penis holder?"

"We would coat the entrance to your vagina with magnetic flesh. A thin layer would also be applied to the head of Carl's penis. There would be no more need to aim, no awkward fumbling, whenever his penis was near it would automatically zoom into the entrance to your vagina hole."

"No, I don't think that's necessary," said Jennifer.

"All right. It's very popular, though. Now, what about a deeper voice box?"

"You would make my voice deeper?"

"Only for guttural utterances, like moans. Men find it very sexy."

"I don't know..."

"Try it, Jennifer," said Carl.

"All right," said Jennifer, giving a sly smile.

"He'll come twice as quickly, just by your moans. I guarantee it," said Bill. "All right! Almost done. Back to the breasts. Would you like a horizontal jiggle guard?"

"A jiggle guard?"

"A thin ridge of hard flesh, along the outer edges, to prevent your breasts from jiggling outwards when Carl is banging you. Men seem to enjoy breasts that bounce up and down, but less so left and right."

"Carl?"

Carl smiled and nodded. Jennifer blushed. She was learning so many new things about Carl today! She nodded to Bill.

"Good. Now, do you want bigger nipples? Larger areolas?"

"Carl?" said Jennifer impatiently.

To her surprise, Carl shook his head.

"Well, I guess I have at least one thing that's good enough for you," said Jennifer.

"Actually, at least two things," said Carl, giving her a kiss as he grabbed her breasts. Jennifer laughed.

"Would you like any multi-areolas?" Bill asked.

"Multi what?"

"Better if we just demonstrate. Lucia?"

Lucia brought out a series of red discs that looked like slices of pepperoni and put them on the sides of Jennifer's left breast. Before long her left breast was encircled with four additional areolas, each with their own nipple.

"Calibrating," said Lucia. She started to rub one of them while adjusting something on her datapad. She looked at Jennifer intently as she made the adjustment.

Jennifer felt nothing for a moment, and then she started to feel... to feel like her nipple was being stimulated, even though it was one of the fake nipples that was being touched. Before long she was gasping.

"You try it, Carl," Bill suggested.

Carl stepped forward, with an evil smile, and started to rub some of the artificial nipples.

"Oh Carl! Oooohh... oooohhhh ooooooooh!" Jennifer cried.

"We'll take it," said Carl.

"No, Carl! I don't want to have so many-" her words were cut off by a kiss. As they kissed, Carl manipulated one of the false nipples. She groaned with pleasure.

In moments, Carl had won the argument.

"That leaves only one matter. Lactation," said Bill. "We can arrange it so that when Jennifer climaxes, she also shoots milk from her teats. Her real teats, that is."

"No," said Jennifer.

"Yes," said Carl, with a grin.

"You want me to... spray milk on you when I come?"

"Why not? I do the same to you."

"You have a point," said Jennifer, thinking about it. "It's reversible, right? All of it?"

"Completely," Bill assured her.

"All right, we'll take it," said Jennifer. She hoped all these enhancements would spice up her sex life with Carl. To make him want her. To make him want her forever, and never, ever leave her, like Anson did.

********

After 200 years of marriage, anyone would be ready for a change.

Gully Foyle loved his wife. And Emma loved him too. But 200 years is a long time.

Especially when it comes to sex.

By now sex had become something automatic, unthinking. It was like brushing their teeth, or going to the bathroom. Gully hated to compare sex to urinating or defecating, but once he did, he realized how apt the comparison was. Sex was just like relieving the body from the pressure of built up liquids.

Gully and Emma tried doing more elaborate foreplay. They tried going to repeated sessions with what was reputedly the best robot sex counselor in all of Northern England. Nothing worked.

Gully didn't want to stray. Emma didn't want to stray. But they had become increasingly bored with each other.

Finally, out of desperation, they came to Build Your Own Penis. At first, they were amazed by the smorgasbord of penile and vaginal options. But after thinking about it, they decided they wanted to try one of the experimental options that Build Your Own Penis had under development. In essence they were going to be beta testers for a new kind of biotechnology. After signing the appropriate releases and waivers, Gully agreed to get a second penis, and Emma agreed to get a second vagina.

Actually, after discussing it further, they each agreed to get two more penises and vaginas, for a total of three, figuring that if two penises could double their pleasure, three could only triple it.

Bill Gross had agreed to their request, but not readily. He warned Gully that not all the kinks had been worked out of the system.

"Well, will it work?"

"We have had some success in our trials," said Bill guardedly. "I just want to make sure you have your expectations set properly."

They weren't. All they knew is that soon Gully would have three penises and Emma would have three vaginas. The thought of pounding into Emma in three different holes at the same time was so exciting that Gully couldn't think of anything else. Emma was equally excited to go along with it.

So they signed up for it.

And then they took off their clothes, and went to sleep on the procedure tables, and their bodies were slowly biofarmed....

.........

And when they woke up, the first thing both Gully and Emma did was to look down.

Gully looked down and saw one penis. And another, right below it. And a third, right below that. He had three penises!

His first penis was just above his belly button, right above his stomach. His second was a little below his belly button but above his groin. And his third was... where it always was.

Gully experimentally touched one of his new penises. He almost jumped. He felt his own touch, as if the penis really was his!

"Look at me!" said Emma, standing up.

Gully looked. Emma had three vaginas now, each one topped by identical brown curly pubic hair. Her vaginas were in the same part of her body as his penises.

"We did it!" Emma cried. She reached over to hug Gully. It felt really odd, feeling his three penises rubbing against her three vaginas.

"Oh, Gully, let's try it!"

"Right now?" said Gully.

"No, in seven weeks! Of course, right now!"

Gully looked around. They were in Build Your Own Penis's lab. They were probably being monitored. But Emma didn't seem to care. And, thinking about, neither did Gully.

Gully eased Emma down on one of the medical couches. He started rubbing and kissing her. She started kissing him back. One thing led to another, and soon Gully raised himself up, and aimed his first penis into her. He moved to thrust and felt a surge of pain. His second and third penises weren't lined up.

He tried again, lining up the first, second, and third penis as best he could. It was difficult, because while he could clearly aim the first penis, the second was harder to aim because his view of it was blocked by the first penis, and the bottom penis he had to align all by touch. But finally, he did it, and he slowly moved into Emma.

Gully smiled as he felt all three of his penises entering all three of her vaginas.

"Oooooh," said Emma, smiling appreciatively at him.

Gully started to cautiously thrust in and out.

"Ow!" said Emma.

"What is it?" said Gully.

"One of the penises. The second one, I think. The angle is no good. It's really pushing into the walls of vagina number two."

"I'll... I'll try to change the angle." Gully tried to shift down a bit. Then he slowly thrust into her again.

"Ow!" said Emma.

"What now?"

"The third penis, the bottom one. That's sticking me really badly," said Emma.

"Well, with three penises to match, I really don't have much room to maneuver," said Gully.

"Try taking one of the penises out. Just lay it flat against me, and use the other two."

"All right." Gully removed the third penis, and pressed it flat against her. "Ready?"

She nodded.

Gully started to thrust with his first two penises. At first everything seemed ok. But then his second penis fell out. Gully readjusted and pushed it in again. He started thrusting once more.

But then his first penis fell out.

"I think they did something wrong," said Gully. "My penises aren't properly lined up with your vaginas."

"No, Gully," said Emma. "I think this just wasn't meant to be. I think biologically males were not meant to inseminate females through three different holes at the same time."

Gully thought about it. "Mr. Gross did warn us that this was still in beta testing."

Emma put an arm around him. "Honey, why don't we go back to that nice Mr. Gross and order that solid gold penis he offered us instead?"

Gully smiled, and nodded.

********

Gully and Emma Foyle were not the only ones to order unusual experimental sexual alterations at Build Your Own Penis.

Walder and Shimmi Rosen also had a taste for the unusual. They persuaded Bill Gross to biofarm Walder's penis so that it was transformed into a four foot tentacle. Shimmi always liked the idea of being penetrated by a tentacle.

And so, Walder went to sleep, and when he woke up, he found that his penis had gotten long. Really long. Four feet long.

Shimmi and Dr. Gross were at his bedside when it woke.

"You did it," said Walder, staring at his four foot tentacle penis, fascinated. It looked like a tentacle, only flesh colored, but the end still had the head of a penis. His penis.

"It's still experimental," said Bill Gross. "We haven't worked out all the kinks yet."

"How do I make it move?" Walder asked.

"Just will it to," said Bill.

"Will it?"

"Like you would move any part of your body. Think you can, and you can."

Walder concentrated. Slowly, his tentacle penis started to rise. It started to move, slowly, to Shimmi. Then it began to wrap itself around her.

"Ooow," said Shimmi, when she was encircled with it. "This has possibilities!" She liked it.

"I'll leave you two alone to explore them," said Bill. "Press the call button if you need me."