The Proposal

"Oh hush your mouth. Y'all are my friends. If you can't help friends, then what are we here for."

With a final kiss they vanished with Franki promising to call every night.

--------------------------------------------

It was the weirdest feeling, I mean watching her walk off like that scared me. I didn't care what Kathleen said, she was a lesbian, and she wanted Franki. It as so apparent. Franki had her own friends, and they often went off to shows, or concerts. We weren't glued at the hip. I had my circle of friends, this however was different. I had the worst feeling.

That night after dinner I watched as Kathleen's yacht pulled up anchor and sailed out of the harbour. Franki rang me about an hour later. "Hey Babe, what are you doing?"

"Not much, just finished dinner, having a beer, watched the boat sail."

"Kathleen said to check the bank balance, she transferred the money earlier."

"So how is it going?"

She giggled. "It's fun, this boat is amazing, and my cabin is flasher than our hotel room. I mean it's so bloody posh."

"God Franki, I can't believe I let you go with that crazy yank. I mean this is fucked up."

"Babe, it's going to be all right. Don't panic. We'll be on the plane home before you know it."

"Well, just remember who you're married to."

She sniggered playfully. "Don't worry babe. I love you, and only you."

"I love you as well."

The bed was lonely that night. The next couple of days evaporated. I checked the bank, and yes, there was one hundred thousand dollars sitting there.

I passed away my time searching real estate pages around Auckland. We spent the last six months watching properties skyrocket, blasting our plans clear out of the water. Now, a whole different world opened up in front of my eyes. Now we would be looking at much better houses. Not the shit boxes we had been.

Every night as promised Franki called. At first it was fun. She was bright and bubbly. Talked endlessly about what they were doing, where they were, the highlights, but by the third night that changed. Her voice was hesitant, the conversation filled with pauses and silence. I sensed her guilt, it seeped over the Ethernet, shame oozed out of the phone. We had been on the phone for an hour and it was full of nothing.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to know something had happened, and I guessed I knew the answer. "You slept with her."

I heard her holding back a sniffle. "max..."

"Don't bother Franki, don't make it worse by lying."

"I wasn't going to lie, but it's not that simple."

"Yes or no. Did you sleep with her?"

"Yes." She spluttered hesitantly.

"Fuck Franki, you promised me, just bloody friends, I'm not gay you said."

"Max, please, don't fight. Let me explain."

"There's nothing to say Franki. You fucked me over."

"I'm sorry babe, it just sort of happened."

"Yeah of course, I suppose it was an accident huh."

"No, can we not fight."

"Are you still going to be here on Friday?"

"What, yes of course."

"I'll see you then. Don't call me again Franki." I disconnected the call, and slumped back on the bed. "Fuck." I snarled bitterly. No sense at being mad at her. This was my fault, I should never have let her go.

What do you say, or do? I felt the nausea overwhelm me, my stomach turning over.

What the fuck happens now? Was I just supposed to accept and move on? All this because of fucking money... It burned me up... She couldn't even be honest. She must have known she was interested....

Fuck them. I didn't want her money, she could shove it up her dyke arse. I pulled out my computer and went straight to the banking app and transferred Kathleen's money back into her account. I don't know why, it was going to hurt me more than her. I just wanted her to know I didn't want anything from her.

For the last couple of days I stumbled aimlessly around. I went through the full spectrum of grief, loss, disgust. What the hell as I going to do. Could I put this aside, just forget, forgive?

Friday Franki was due back, I didn't know what time, our flight left at three. At twelve my phone rang. "Hey Max."

"Jesus, where are you? We have to be at the airport in an hour." I tried to stay calm but the accusation was steeped with anger and I couldn't stop it spewing out as a yell.

"Max, please, don't yell. Can we talk please."

"Where the hell are you? We're going to be late."

"Max, would you mind if I spent a few more days with Kathleen?"

"What, Jesus Franki."

"I'm sorry, I tried to call you yesterday, but you wouldn't take my call."

"What are you saying?" I felt like I was going crazy, I screamed loudly. "What the fuck Franki."

"Max, please, be calm. Kathleen is going to head to Fiji for three days and invited me to go with her."

"What about work?"

"I rang them already, said I was taking another weeks leave."

"Fuck, who are you Franki. You already made your mind up. I don't even get a say in this do I?"

"Max, it's only a couple of extra days."

"Fuck you Franki. Take as long as you want. We are through. I'm not putting up with this shit. If you want to fuck around, then just do whatever the fuck you want. I'll be gone when you get back. I'll leave your shit at the flat."

"Max, please don't go off the rails babe. We can talk when I get back. We can finally buy our home."

"Like fuck. I put the sluts money back in her account. I want nothing from that bitch, especially since you had to earn it with your body. Fuck you, and fuck her as well."

I disconnected the call, I felt like I was going to explode. People from all around me stared open mouthed at me.

I sat back in my seat on the plane, I struggled to hold back the pain, it was hard. Back at the flat I stomped around kicking shit. My phone just kept ringing and ringing, text messages kept pinging. It drove me crazy, so I turned it off.

I spent the weekend packing up my shit. I managed to find a flat a little closer to work, and I emptied our account. Fuck her, she had Kathleen and her money. The pittance I was taking was a drop in the ocean.

Monday I went in and signed the papers and they gave me the key. I moved in with some sadness. It was like all my hopes and dreams had been shot down. I was fucked.

Of course work was hard, everybody wanted to talk about the holiday. My world exploded, I had purposely left my phone turned off. When I finished work Wednesday, I was shocked to see my dad standing by my car.

"Hello son, why haven't you been answering your phone?"

"Sorry Dad, didn't feel like it."

"What the hell is going on Max? Franki has been on the phone non stop. What is she still doing over there? Did she not come home with you?"

"Listen Dad, Franki and I are finished. We are getting divorced as soon as I can get the papers filled out."

He looked devastated, Franki was part of our family and they loved her. "What in tarnation happened?"

"Dad, please, I don't want to talk about it okay. Just understand that we are over."

"Well, where are you living, I drove over to your flat last night, and it was obvious, you're not living there."

"I moved, that's now Franki's place."

"Shit son, I'm sorry. Do you want to come around for tea tonight?"

"No thanks, I'm not exactly good company at the mo."

"Your Mother is worried Max, please, just come home. We might be able to help, if nothing else, I can listen."

I gave him a hug and said. "No Dad, when I sort my head out I'll come around, but not at the mo."

He gave me a hearty pat on the back. "Max, we're here for you. Whatever happened, you're our son, and we love you."

"Thanks Dad." That might be the first time I had ever heard him say he loved me.

Work, sleep, eat, repeat. That was my life. I decided I needed a new phone, nobody could get in touch, because my current one was permanently switched off.

Once I talked to my best friends, they were quick to get behind me. I never actually told them what happened. I just said we had a huge fight and decided to go our separate ways. They dragged me off to the pub, made sure I couldn't walk and I spent the night talking to the big white telephone. Sick, Jesus I had never felt that sick in my life. The next day I had to ring in sick, my head hurt, my throat ached from retching so hard. I would never be able to look at a glass of rum ever again.

Life sucked, I felt like shit, and to top it off, I missed Franki like crazy. I thought we were like the perfect couple, she was the one, we were destined to live together. Now those dreams were shot.

Talking to Ben my best mate, he helped me download some online forms to start the divorce process. It was easy enough. Filled them out and filed them.

Just like that. Of course she would have to sign them. I used the old mailing address. Using my old phone, I sent her a text. "Divorce papers filled out and in the mail. They should be in the mailbox when you get home."

Once it sent, I was about to turn it off, when it started ringing. Checking the ID, it was Franki. For a split second I tossed up answering, but in the end I turned it off.

I was shocked to find Franki waiting by my car after work Monday. Frustratingly, she looked better than ever. She had a warm glow, a new hair style showed off her facial features perfectly.

"Hey Max." She called as she stood up from leaning on my car.

She walked towards me, her arms opening for a hug. I stopped short of her holding up my hand to stop her advance. "What do you want Franki?"

"I want to talk. I know you're hurting, and you're mad, but please. Can we go somewhere quiet and just talk?"

"Yeah, all right. Jump in."

I turned out of the carpark and headed for the mall, there was bound to be a coffee shop.

How have you been?" She asked softly.

"I've been better."

"I'm sorry Max, I know what happened was a shock for you. God it was a shock for me as well."

"Yeah, I'm sure." I grumbled as I hit the horn at some knob jockey who cut me off.

"Max, can we just talk. I know you're mad, and with good reason, but surely, we can sort this out?"

"Sort it out? You make it sound like you crashed the car, or had an accident. You ripped my fucking heart out. Sold yourself to that fucking slut and you want to sort it out." I wanted to be calm, but I snarled, my spittle flying as I screamed in her face.

"What would you have done if I fucked some other bird? What then Franki, would you be saying we can sort this out, or would you be screaming at me?"

I watched as she flinched at my screams, her body trembling. "Max..."

"Shut up Franki, you fucked me over. You planned all along to jump the disgusting bitch. What if it was me, would you be all lovey dovey we can sort this out? I bet you fucking wouldn't."

She sat there quietly as I vented. She took it all, didn't offer one single defensive retort.

As I pulled into the carpark and found a park she whispered. "I'm sorry Max, I mean that. You're wrong, I never meant to sleep with Kath, but it happened. I can't take it back, and really. I don't want to. This will sound horrible, but I enjoyed it. Being with her was an amazing experience. I know you are the one who is hurting, but can we try to find a way past that?"

"Good was it" You like carpet munching now huh. No sense trying to fix anything because I'm not kitted out for your new lifestyle."

"Max, it was an eye opening experience, and it made me question many things. The fact I want to spend the rest of my life with you isn't one of them. Kath was a moment in time. A fun experience, that gave me an insight into a whole new aspect of life. None of that made me change my mind about my love for you. I want you in my life forever."

"Franki, you're talking shit. Lets take a for instance here. What if I went off with a bloke and decided I like sucking cock. Would you welcome me back into your life like nothing happened?"

The ferocity of my attack shocked her, she recoiled, her head banging on the passenger side window. "Christ Max, you don't have to be crude okay."

"No fuck you Franki, you don't get to tell me what to do any more. So, what would you do if you found out I like cock, and it was something you couldn't give me. Would you be oh that's all right babe."

"Max, please. This isn't helping."

"It's helping me. Jesus Franki, you threw away everything we had, just for a roll in the hay with that fucking slut. You tell me it was great, and I'm expected to just roll over and say cool, glad you got that out of your system."

"Max, I know this doesn't make any sense, I'm still confused myself, but I know I love you. I know I want to be with you forever."

"So that's it, you had your full of pussy now huh?"

"Max, stop it, you're being mean and nasty."

"If I took you back, what happens the next time some slut wants to take you to bed?"

"We could talk about it, I found out something about myself. I found out the world isn't black and white. I know something about myself, but throughout that, I realised. I love you more than ever. You allowed me to stretch out, to open my eyes. A lot of guy's wouldn't have done that."

Shaking my head I snapped caustically. "I didn't, when you walked out, you said you were going as friends. That's all I accepted. If I knew then what I know now. I would have divorced you on the spot."

"You don't mean that babe. You knew what as going to happen. I know you did, you even said so."

"I said I was afraid that was going to happen. I never said I accept that as an outcome."

"Can't we just try to talk this out?"

"What's to talk about? You cheated, had sex with another person. Game over, end of story."

"Why did you give Kath her money back?"

"Because I don't want any part of her."

"But it was a gift."

"It was fucking not. She brought and paid for you. She got what she wanted, and she didn't even care that she destroyed our marriage to get it."

"She does care care Max. She cares a lot. She was devastated when she found out what happened."

"Yeah right. Fucking bullshit."

"What do you want to happen then Max?"

"Fill out the divorce paperwork, send it in to the court and we can be divorced in six months. Sorry I took all the money, but I figured she's giving you a hundred grand anyway, so that squares things up. Jesus, she may as well give you the Hundred grand she put in our account. You can have two hundred grand."

"I don't care about the money. I just want to get our life back on track."

With a deep sigh, I mumbled. "Just fill the damn paper work out, and send it in to the courthouse. Please. Let's just accept we made a mistake and move on."

"I made a mistake, but it wasn't marrying you Max. I don't want a divorce. I know this is messed up, and unusual, but if you gave me a chance, let me explain. I know you would understand."

"All right, my turn to make a deal. I'll listen, but at the end of listening, if I say, I don't care. You will fill in the paperwork and file."

She gave me a piercing glare, as she assessed her options. "Okay, if that's what you want."

"Then talk."

She shook her head. "No, not here, not like this. Somewhere private where we can really talk."

"All right, I'll drive you back to your place. We can talk there."

She scowled. "It's our place Max."

"Not anymore. I have moved."

We drove in silence. The mood darkened with every passing traffic light. I think we were both lost, afraid to turn over rocks wondering what we would uncover.

As the front door closed behind us, Franki asked over her shoulder. "Would you lie some food?"

"No, let's just get this underway shall we."

She grimaced, swallowed something that didn't want to go down. "No, not like this Max. I want us to talk, but you have to let me in. You have to have an open mind. If you're just going to wait for me to speak and then say no, goodbye. Then this won't work. I ant you to sit with me, to open your mind, and your heart. Let me try and explain."

I was trapped, I could just walk out, but deep down inside, a morbid curiosity ate away at my inner self. "all right Franki, I'll have a beer."

She winced. "Sorry, no beer. You emptied the fridge when you left."

"Fine, coffee."

She walked into the kitchen and I headed for the lounge. There was a mountain of luggage stacked by the wall. She obviously brought home a new wardrobe. Still, I suppose if you're going to sell yourself, you may as well make the most of it."

Franki walked in carrying our coffees and sat beside me. God, this would be easier if she didn't look so amazing. It wasn't just the hairstyle, she looked more refined, elegant. Her makeup was perfect, her lips somehow fuller.

I leaned back in the sofa and sipped the scalding coffee. "Alright Franki, you have the floor. What do you ant to say?"

"I want to start with sorry. Leaving you and not coming home together wasn't fair, and dropping it on you like that was horrid. Kath asked me earlier to stay with her, and I said no, but she kept on at me, and I made a bad decision. I said I would stay. I'm so sorry for that."

"What about the rest of it? You think that was fine?"

"No, obviously it was wrong, but there was so much going on. I'm sorry Max, but for the first couple of days we were just friends. That second night though. Things changed. Kath kissed me, and I responded. I felt my mind opening, it was a new experience, and I enjoyed it."

"Bullshit, this is just bullshit. You're just trying to justify carrying on like a slut."

"No Max, I say this with complete sincerity. Nothing happened until that night. I found myself responding in ways I never knew I was capable of. I did things I never dreamed I would ever do. It was a cathartic experience. I'm not trying to be a bitch. But i loved every moment of my time with Kath. It was wonderful, but it's over. Like we said, when we get home our lives would change. The money would open new doors for us. A new home, a new business. A fresh start."

"There's only one thing wrong with your plan. While you were away you changed the rules. You had sex with somebody else, and I can't turn a blind eye and pretend that never happened. I'm gutted Franki, you ripped out my heart."

"I can see that Max, I'm not daft. What I'm asking you to do is try. Just try. All you see is anger and you're just responding. You're not thinking."

"Oh I'm thinking all right. Is that it, is that your defence?"

"It's not a defence Max, I'm not making excuses. What happened will remain a wonderful memory for me forever. Now I want to put that behind us, and to move on."

I finished my coffee, closed my eyes and spoke slowly. "Explain what you see as happening now? Let's say, that okay. I accept your explanation and we move back in together?"

"We do the things we talked about. We buy a house, start my salon and move forward."

"What about sex Franki? Now that you have this wildly expanded mind, and you now know you enjoy sex with women. How do you satisfy that urge? You know bloody well I can't do it for you."

She scowled deeply. "Max, I love you, our sex life is amazing. I have never complained."

"No Franki, it's not that easy. Now you know you like it. You will never be happy with just you and me. I would never be comfortable. I'd always be wondering where you are, who you are with. I could never trust you again."

"Why." She gasped. "I never broke your trust, I was honest with you. I told you what happened. I never once lied."

"maybe you didn't lie, but you were frugal with the truth. You knew before you left with her, you were interested."

She sighed. "Yes, okay that's fair. I was intrigued. I have never been with a woman before. I guess it titillated me."

"Look Franki, we're just going round and round. Nothing is changing. You had sex with her. I won't accept that. So let's file the divorce and move on."