All Comments on 'The Puddle'

Hi. If you have the time could you please let me know what you think? Any feed back is welcome, negative or positive. And about any aspect: content, details, writing style, etc.

Thank you.

The author is obviously talented, but i fail to see why it would be anything remotely like a turn-on if the woman from whose perspective the story is told, is so obviously a tight-ass that seems revolted by a lot of the things she does, or which the son is doing to her.

It's like watching a porn movie with a starlet-debute, where the girl gets fucked while maintaining an expression of being a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, and a blowjob consisting of nothing but tentative, scared snake-like tongue-flicks at a guy's cockhead.

Tip: If one of the characters doesn't seem to be enjoying him or herself, then there is little erotic about the story itself, and it begs the question what the point of the story even is. Why the fuck are these characters even having sex, if the mother seems merely to be "undergoing" it for the benefit of her son, rather than enjoying it.

Thanks for your input.

Yes, I think I may have made a mistake by making the mother seemingly uninterested in sex.

It wasn't my initial intention but upon re-reading the story I see that is exactly what I've done.

I intended to point out her aversion to certain aspects of sex, but still have her an equal participant with her son. I perhaps should have made this part two or three in a series, where the previous ones showed her enjoyment.

However, as you pointed out, I started by showing all of her negative reactions.

Again, thank you for your comment, I'll keep it in mind with future stories.

This is a story that has alot of reality in it and I like that. There are ALOT of women out there that hate the taste of cum and yet very few writers have the courage to write about women like that. I collect any and all stories about women who do like the taste of cum but will take it for various reasons. So please do not stop!

Good, sharp work from you. I'm usually very harsh here but that's because most writers simply couldn't give a shit, so in turn I couldn't care less for them because they wasted my time.

Looking forward to more from you.

Thank both of you for your response. I'm glad you both enjoyed elements of my writing.

I take every bit of advice, criticism and compliment and use it to build on my work.

And to "I like it.", one of my biggest turn-ons when it comes to erotic fiction is also realism. If it feels fake then it doesn't pull me in.

Thanks again!

I thought your story had both realism and emotion attached to it. It is difficult walking the fine line between a story being realistic but still having the raw sexual power that pure fantasy delivers. I would like to know how the mom was seduced or how you (the mother)seduced your son. From the sons perspective I want to push or force the mom towards sex or have her push or force me towards sex...someone take the lead a bit. My own preference...but a well written story! Keep it up...and enjoy yourself!

Thank you!

I sometimes tend to have trouble with the starting stories, so I always prefer to start in an established relationship. Then I can either go back and write how it all started, or just describe it in another part of the story. Or I could always just leave you wondering :)

We'll see what happens.

I was disappointed that the story ended before it really went anywhere. It was good but it left me a little unsatisfied, much like the mother in the story. Aside from that, you're off to a promising start and I'm looking forward to reading more stories by you.

Sorry about that. I agree I may have made a mistake by leaving her unsatisfied. However, I left it open, so hopefully I make it up to readers who need her fulfilled. :)

After readign your story I feel much like the mother, very unsatisfued. Such a great build up, only to fall short and disappoint.

Thank you for your comment.

I'm getting a number of these responses and yes, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left her hanging like I did.

Hopefully you enjoy some of my other work once I write it.

@ Dirtymindedmother

I'm the one commenting on 01/13/11 under the title "enjoy it or stop it".

I'm pleased you can see my point. In retrospect my criticism may have been a bit harshly worded. I want to reiterate that i think your first story is very promising in terms of writing quality.

I think if you will start writing stories in which we can enjoy the events as they play out, rather than having to visualize how a lot of things are off putting to the main character, that i really would enjoy your work a lot.

Bear in mind i have no problem with a slow build (or multiple chaptered story) in which any woman starts out being hesitant or slightly disgusted with what she is engaging in, just so long as she then proceeds to learn to see the enjoyment of it, so we can enjoy her transformation along with her.

I *will* be looking forward to see what you'll be writing next.

Thanks for commenting again.

In a way I like my first story the way it is. Leaving the mother character unsatisfied could also lead the reader unsatisfied, perhaps seeking more, much like a "To be continued..." episode on TV.

I also think it would have been better received by some people if it has "part 1" after it, showing that there was indeed more to the story. Or, like I've already said, had been the 2nd or 3rd part of a story.

And I thank you for your words of encouragement. My writing style and quality are one thing I'm very unsure of, so to hear people praise it is very motivational.

I've already submitted a second story that I hope many more people will like, although it's not a continuation of this story.

to have a flashback within a flashback?

Hehe, apparently it is! :)

Even though I did find it odd that you wrote about the unpleasant aspect of sex I still found it erotic as I thoroughly enjoy the taboo part of it. I would like more development, the slow hesitant start of the "forbidden" relationship. The glimpses of bras and panties, the slow removal of same, the wonder and excitement of discovery, the final animal lust and pleasure. And the ass, ass, ass. Gets me every time.

Her son was in such a rush to get his enjoyment that he didn't get her off. Such a shame for a young guy that's fucking an older woman would be so selfish.

Perhaps another chapter is needed, having the son taking care of his mother.

Thanks for the read.

I like the realism in your writing, it makes it more believable and therefore for me both more erotic and more satisfying on an emotional level. There are too many stories where the mother and son go at it like pornstars from the off. Ambiguity, self-doubt, difference in sexual likes/dislikes etc, these all make for a better piece in my view. Look forward to more.

The wise old saying goes, "a mother's twat is her son's playground," and there are lots and lots of boys who just love making great big puddles in their own personal playground.

There does not appear to be much conversation between mother and son. Son appears to not know what pleases his mother nor how to please her. He appears to have no concern for her emotional or sexual well being. Although the mother was concerned that she was expressing herself as his mother as opposed to her lover, she is a sexual being who has the right to tell her lover of her likes and dislikes. At this point I do not see how this relationship (lovers) can last. Regardless of the outcome, she will always be his mother and he will always be her son.