The Pulse Pt. 09

As the mood had dipped a bit, I reached for the letter from Cambridge.

"This arrived today."

"You wait until now to tell us? What did it say?"

"I haven't opened it yet. I wanted you both to be here when I did."

"Open it Jake! You shouldn't have waited for us! Today must have felt endless."

I grinned at their enthusiasm and slowly opened the envelope trying not to tear it.

"Oh come on!"

"Alright, alright!"

I opened up the letter. It was shorter than I expected.

"Dear Mr Conway. Thank you for your application for the Hurst Scholarship. Congratulations on your achievements but after a negative reference from your school we are unable to take your application for a scholarship further. Good luck with your future studies. Best regards, Professor Julian Whitaker, Vice Chancellor, Admissions."

My voice trailed off as I finished the letter.

There was a stunned silence around the table.

I got up and slowly walked up the stairs. Fiona jumped up and was going to join me when Mum grabbed her arm.

"Best leave him be. He's going to need a bit of time to get his head around this."

"But it's so unfair! Who would have given Jake a bad reference? He's been a model pupil."

"I don't know love, I don't know," she said sadly.

It was a very quiet group when I came back downstairs later that evening. Fiona was half out of her seat as I headed towards the telephone.

They watched quietly as I dialled.

"Mrs Thorne? It's Jake Conway here... Yes, sorry, Valerie...I'm sorry to call so late but I wanted some advice. Who gives references to the universities?...I know but I applied for the Hurst Scholarship at Cambridge and...no, no I didn't. And the letter says that there was a negative reference. Do you know where that might have come from?..."

I had to hold the phone away from my ear slightly as Valerie Thorne gave vent to her opinion on the matter.

"Thank you Mrs...Valerie, I'll look forward to hearing from you tomorrow. Yes, good night."

I turned to face the expectant audience in front of me.

"She's not sure what happened but apparently the head teacher would normally deal with those things."

"But the head wouldn't do that to you Jake," cried my mother.

"Not the current one, but the old head Mr Potter might have done."

"But how could that happen? He retired."

"But only because it came out that teacher's were being intimidated by some pupils and he was doing nothing about it. He was forced out and if he hadn't retired he knew that Mrs Thorne would have leaked the real story to that reporter. He got off lightly and kept his pension."

"So you think he gave you a bad reference out of sheer spite?"

I nodded, glumly. Knowing what had happened didn't make the outcome any easier to stomach.

"I think I'm going to bed," I said.

"I'll come too," said Fiona, quickly getting to her feet.

Dad stood up and hugged me.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I know you were hoping that you might get that scholarship. I'm sorry that we can't do more for you financially..."

"Please don't, Dad. You and Mum have been wonderful. This just wasn't meant to be that's all."

I headed off to bed and ten minutes later, Fiona and I lay wrapped around each other. I was crushed. I had secretly hoped that the scholarship might have been achievable and made Cambridge a real possibility. I'd allowed myself to believe. But good things don't happen to people like me. I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity despite the empathy and closeness of the woman I loved lying beside me.

She didn't try to talk about it at all for which I was very grateful. She just held me, knowing how disappointed I must be.

Despite the therapy of Fiona's long legs it was a long time before I managed to find sleep that night.