The Rave

Once I was dressed in normal clothes (plus a gold sequinned cap) Tobin and I went for another look around the fair. That was when I first met one of Tobin's friends who'd come up on the bus with him. Dave is an unusually handsome Asian guy with dark hair, beautiful dark brown eyes, long black lashes but with wispy black facial hair that I thought he would look even more handsome if he shaved off. Tobin is very affectionate and held my hand and sometimes kissed me as we walked around. It was a very strange but liberating feeling for a guy like me so deeply in the closet to walk around so publicly gay but nothing compared to what would happen later.

We went to wine tasting and lots of other things that were going on at the fair and then had dinner. It got dark but we decided not to go to the dance until very late. Tobin told me it got better after midnight and went until 3am so we spent a few hours in a pub in the town playing pool with some other gay guys that we met there. Then we went back to Tobin's tent, got dressed in our "clubbing" clothes, locked all our valuable stuff in my car and headed for the dance.

There was a big crowd of mostly young guys dancing to very loud trance music played by a dj from Melbourne. Half of the guys already had their shirts off and the amazing light show was reflecting off their sweat shiny bodies. I'd never been to anything like it and I loved it. I was soon out in the middle of it dancing with Tobin but just as much with all the other guys since we were all pretty much squashed together and rubbing against each other.

I saw Dave again, a few other guys Tobin had introduced me to earlier and Tobin introduced me to lots of other guys but it was too loud to hear their names. I soon had my singlet off too showing off my body and I loved the way guys admired me and danced close to me. Tobin disappeared a few times but soon came back. Then he pulled me off the dance floor to a place that was a bit quieter.

"Do you want an 'e'?" He asked me.

"What?"

"An 'e'! You know... ecstasy, MDMA, everyone's doing it here. I've got a few from George."

As usual, he had his infectious boyish smile that always forced me to smile in return but as I said at the outset, I'm the definition of a good boy. I've never taken drugs. I don't even drink that much.

"Oh... no... I don't think so..."

"Come on... you'll love it. I've taken one already. It's safe."

He got out a small plastic bag that had a few tiny pink pills with hearts impressed into them. He took one out and held it out to me. He looked so cute with his funny smile and I guess I was feeling so liberated that I relented. I took it and he handed me a water bottle to wash it down.

I'd also had a few vodka and cranberry juices but not too much. I had another one after taking the pill because it left a bitter taste in my mouth while talking to some other guys and finally met Tobin's ex, George who somewhat surprisingly looked like a middle aged accountant type who could have been my father. George and Tobin were obviously still very close but there was no sign of George having any problem with Tobin being with me. Actually I was dancing with other guys just as much as with Tobin.

The trance style dance music the dj was playing got amazingly better and was making me feel so happy and excited that I had to go back out onto the dance area. It was already hot and I'm sure all these guys dancing made it hotter. I was stopping every few minutes to drink water but then the music dragged me back. All the guys dancing together was such an amazing intense feeling. I danced with so many guys. I found every guy there so beautiful and I felt so free. It wasn't just dancing. We were touching, hugging, even kissing random guys as we danced. Some I knew of course like Tobin, Dave, Hong, George, Paul... I can't remember them all but they all felt like friends more than anyone I knew back at home. Even the guys I didn't know.

Tobin gave me another 'e' later in the night. I think I took three in total. I have no regrets. But as the night progressed, more people seemed to arrive and soon we weren't just dancing without our shirts, more guys took their shorts off and were dancing in their underwear. I took mine off too. They were soaked with sweat and felt cold against my skin but that felt amazing. Inevitably with all these guys and feeling the way I was feeling, I got an erection. My cock felt heavy in my underwear and was bouncing around as I danced. I noticed the same was happening to other guys.

Then I saw through the crowd a guy kneeling in the middle of the dance floor sucking a guys cock. No one seemed to care. Then I started to see things flying through the air. I realised they were guy's underwear. Then Tobin came dancing back over to me, his crazy beautiful smile and his skin looking so amazing with the lights, carrying a plastic bottle of water, but otherwise completely naked. I realised nearly everyone dancing around me was naked. I got so excited. I don't think it was just the ecstasy, I was in ecstasy without it. I pulled off my underpants and threw them away through the air. I didn't care where they went.

Tobin was laughing like crazy at me. I guess he could see how excited and amazed I was. We danced close to each other rubbing our hard cocks against each other's bodies. I noticed around us other guys had gone down on their knees and were sucking their partner's cocks. I really don't know what came over me. I felt so intensely emotional. I felt so loved by Tobin and everyone there. I went down on my knees, not caring who would see me. I sucked Tobin's cock. I sucked it until I felt his hands tighten in the hair on my head, his cock start throbbing and my mouth flooded by his semen.

He pulled me back up onto my feet and kissed me wildly. While he did it he reached down and started wanking any cock.

"I want you to fuck me again," I yelled into his ear. I didn't care who heard and I would have let him fuck me there and then in front of everyone.

"Let's go back to the tent."

We found our clothes minus my underwear, Tobin thought someone probably souvenired them, and pretty much ran all the way back to the tent. There he fucked me like no one in the world had ever been fucked before. I guess the ecstasy had something to do with it. It felt like one long orgasm until I actually did cum. There was no premature ejaculation like the fist time he fucked me.

We did it in every position. As soon as we got into the tent, we pulled each other's clothes off as we kissed still standing. Then he turned me around and held me from behind, kissing my shoulder and the side of my neck. He spat on his hand and fingered my hole with his spit. I opened by legs a bit wider and bent over to let his cock into me. I bent over more and he held me by my shoulders as he fucked me from behind.

After a minute of that my legs gave way and I went down in my hands and knees. He followed and fucked me doggy style. I was wanking myself and angled my pelvis to let him hit my prostate and then back off so I wouldn't cum until he did. He lent over and kissed my back as he fucked me like a jackhammer.

"Turn over. I want to kiss you while you cum again," he said. I did as he asked willingly. I also knew he was fucking me bareback and I guess the drugs and alcohol made us more reckless about safe sex than definitely I would ever have dreamed of before this. Even with Alex, though we'd been each others only sexual partners, we'd always used condoms.

I rolled onto my back and opened my thighs for him. Even though we'd been fucking with just saliva, he got his lube bottle and lubricated my anus again then knelt between my thighs like he had the first time and filled me perfectly with his fat bare cock. Again he lent over and kissed me as he fucked me. It's something that really turns him on and now me too. This time I grabbed my cock and wanked to increase the pleasure of his cock inside me though I had to go slowly because I wanted to time my orgasm with his and he was rapidly pushing me closer. This time he was fucking me hard, desperately, and I liked it like that.

Soon enough he started moaning into my mouth while our lips were together.

"Mmmm... mmmmm... mmmmm... mmmmm..."

I let go. I let him push me over the edge. I was holding my cock tight in my fist but it was his cock repeatedly stabbing my prostate and stretching my hole that did it. He was still kissing me but I had to open my mouth to yell. He did the same. We orgasmed together, like we had each others orgasm.

"Aah/aaah... aaaah/aaaah... ooooh/aaaah... aaaah/aaaaaaah...."

I felt my cum squirt out all over my body again. I felt my anus squeezing his cock inside me and I knew he was shooting his load up me but I didn't care.

We abandoned our plans to go back to the rave. Fucking is a messy business and neither of us felt like walking through the camp to the shower block. We tried to go to sleep. I loved the feeling of holding a naked guy in my arms while naked myself, but we couldn't sleep. I guess it was the Ecstasy.

After about an hour he said,

"I'm sorry Mark."

"Why?"

"I shouldn't have fucked you without a condom. I know I'm clean. I got tested only two weeks ago and I haven't had sex since then, but we should have talked about it. You're going to worry about it now..."

"No, it's ok. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. I'm going to get tested tomorrow to prove to you that I don't have anything."

"But I believe you. You don't have to..."

I thought he was being ridiculous and was still hyped up from the Ecstasy.

"You believe me now, but what happens in a few weeks when you feel sick and you don't know why? I know a guy. He fucked around without protection then he started to feel sick. He got scared that he had HIV but wouldn't go to see a doctor no matter how sick he was feeling because he wasn't out about being gay. Finally he collapsed at work and had to be taken to hospital in an ambulance. He had kidney failure. He had to go on dialysis for three years and then have a kidney transplant and life long medical care but if he'd gone to the doctor as soon as he felt sick, they could have saved his kidneys."

"Oh shit. That's sad."

We couldn't sleep and I had to go to the toilet. I discovered that one of the unexpected side effects of being fucked bareback is that I got a rectum full of semen. We got up and went to the shower block which even though it was 2am, was still fairly busy. We showered together and then went for a drive to a nearby town called Hepburn Springs famous for its many differently flavoured mineral springs (all equally disgusting) that can be sampled in a park. I only realised later that I probably would have failed a police drug test if I'd been stopped while driving. We didn't see anyone else. I guess not many people go out to sample the spring waters at 3am.

We returned to the camp when the light of dawn was already showing in the eastern sky and slept naked together till about 11am when Tobin dragged me over to the mobile testing clinic. It was pretty efficient. We had to answer some extremely personal questions about our sexual history on an iPad, give blood samples as well as swabs of our dicks and anuses and then wait. We got our HIV results after 15 minutes: both negative. We got results for chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis about an hour later by sms while we were having breakfast/lunch with Dave.

I've mentioned Dave earlier. He is of Japanese ancestry but his family emigrated to Australia from Peru. He was born here. Apparently there are lots of Japanese people in Peru, something I'd never heard. I talked to him a lot at the Rave, the day before and then that day. The three of us explored Daylesford extensively that day. Even though a small town it has a botanic garden with amazing old trees and an observation tower. The town also has a small lake which we walked completely around.

We stopped at a small park on the lake shore and found a secluded place to sit and watch the ducks. There Dave got from his back pack a bong and I was pretty quickly persuaded to join them in sharing quite a number of cones of cannabis. Yes another step in ruining my good boy reputation in your eyes. It was after we were very well stoned that Dave told me something mind blowing about himself that Tobin already knew.

"You know I'm trans don't you?"

"What?"

"I'm trans. I'm a trans boy."

"What do you mean? You want to change into a woman?"

"No silly. I am biologically female but I now identify as male."

It kind of blew my mind. He's quite short, small and very handsome but I never for a moment before then thought that he was anything other than a guy. I guess he isn't, but with my Wollongong Pentecostal Christian upbringing, it was hard for me to absorb. Luckily I was stoned.

"When I first met him at school, he was a girl," said Tobin.

I felt like I had to say something but I didn't know what to say.

"So... you changed your name?"

"It was Yuka, a Japanese name," he said.

"But don't call him that now," said Tobin.

"No I don't really mind. My parents still call me that some times," he said.

"So, your parents know?"

He laughed. "Of course they know. I still live at home. They took me to see a therapist and then let me start hormones as soon as it was clear that I'm a boy."

"So... do you... did you have any... surgery?" I asked but then: "Oh sorry. I guess that's a very personal question."

"It's ok. No. Luckily I started hormones early enough and with my Japanese ancestry, my breasts didn't grow."

"Oh okay," I replied but obviously that didn't really answer my rude and intrusive question but Tobin blurted out:

"And yes, if you're curious Mark, he still has a vagina."

Again, luckily I was stoned. I didn't know what to think or say. It seemed so shocking to a boy like me but then Dave just laughed and said back to Tobin,

"And how would you know that Toby?"

An obviously rhetorical question.

"Well I've seen it Davy," said Tobin in reply. They were laughing but looking at me to see my reaction.

Dave looked directly at me then and said,

"He's more than seen it. He was the first guy to fuck me."

"The first of many curious gay boys to get their first taste of a pussy," laughed Dave.

I though it was really insulting but they were lust laughing. They too were stoned of course. Dave got up and pushed Tobin over and pinned him and yelled looking back at me,

"It's not that many!"

I couldn't help thinking how rough and boyish Dave was but at the same time as he straddled Tobin, that he had a vagina.

We calmed down and Dave told me some really amazing things about himself. Even though he considered himself fully a man, it was still possible for him to get pregnant and to have a baby and he said that one day he probably would. (I found out later there is actually a documentary movie called "Seahorse" about a trans man who has a baby.) I felt my mind expanding, like I was being rewired. I realised that the opinions and beliefs people in my church, including me, were irrelevant compared to the realty of how people experience their lives. It wasn't just the cannabis doing it. It wasn't just about Dave. It was about my own life. I'd already rejected a lot of what the elders of my church said about gay men like me, but in a kind of intellectual faith based way. Now I had a shift in my understanding of realty. Ideas, theories, opinions, beliefs, even religious beliefs are nothing in the face of the reality of the experience of our lives and I would never again put my beliefs and opinions onto someone else. It's as stupid as telling another person what their favourite colour is and insisting that my opinion is true. I would accept everyone on face value and love them equally. I think Jesus would have done the same.

I couldn't put all of this into words at the time and I kind of got very emotional laying in that park by the lake. I tried to tell Dave and Tobin. It just sounded weird but they kind of understood I think. We just had a group hug.

We found a beautiful little bookshop and cafe further around on the lake. We stopped there to have some coffee and cakes and to talk some more. Then we returned to Tobin's (huge) tent and I guess there is a part here that some of you might not want to hear. Tobin, Dave and I had a threesome.

It started off with us just having a nap after our long walk but I suspect Dave and Tobin had secretly planned what would happen because they made sure I was in the middle of Tobin's (ridiculously) large and thick airbed. Tobin initiated it by rolling onto his side and starting to kiss me. Then I realised Dave had moved closer and soon Tobin was leaning over me kissing him. Almost naturally, I don't know who decided to do it, I was kissing Dave.

Of course I was curious when we got naked. Dave has amazingly white skin and quite a lot of fine black hairs on his chest and although his nipples are quite large, no real sign of breasts. And yes, it was still a shock. I still felt weird when I saw that between his thighs, amidst weirdly straight black pubic hair, there was no cock. I'd never seen a vagina in real life before. There wasn't the big ugly complicated mess of a vagina that the women in Alex's porn movie had that weirdly seemed to turn him on but that I thought looked disgusting. It was just a slit with a little bit of pink skin poking out.

I guess you're waiting for me to say it. Yes, I fucked him. Tobin wanted me to because he knew I'd never had vaginal sex but Dave obviously wanted me to as well. It was weird at first. I have no idea how straight people have sex when they don't know what their partner is feeling. I guess that's why people say gay sex is so much hotter. Of course what I was doing with Dave was actually gay sex, but you know what I mean. Dave told me what he wanted which was harder, faster and deeper than I guessed and soon enough, I could tell what I was doing was right. One of the things I learned that was extremely weird is that women, or more accurately people with a vagina, can clench it so tightly that I could hardly pull my dick out. I think he could easily have pulled my condom off if I'd fought him. Why had I never heard this fact?

And yes, I made him orgasm. And... wow. Another thing that confuses me thinking about it later is the stories that women fake orgasms... HOW? It was very obvious that Dave had orgasmed not just because he was moaning and yelling but because his vagina suddenly got very tight and then straight after very wet. (I later learned that trans guys, because of the testosterone they take, have very sensitive vaginas and a strong sex drive... well yes.)

I came while fucking him pretty immediately after. Tobin, who had been laying beside Dave watching me fuck and wanking himself also came. (One of the many things about myself that I learnt that weekend, actually kneeling on the floor of the Town Hall with Tobin's dick in my mouth, is that I'm a bit kinky about being watched... I like it.)

We all hit the showers. The male shower cubicles are small and you have to dry yourself and get dressed in the open area otherwise all your stuff would get wet. Dave didn't have a problem either showering with the men obviously, but being naked since as usual it was very busy. I don't think any of the other guys noticed that he had a vagina.

That sadly was the last opportunity I had to spend time with Dave in real life. I've VC chatted with him a lot on Discord since then. There was another dance that night: a country barn dance but of course I didn't have a ticket and Tobin couldn't get me one. Anyway Dave had a friend who wanted to go but also didn't have a ticket so Tobin gave his ticket to Dave for his friend. Tobin didn't really want to go and said he preferred to spend the night with me, which was beautiful.