All Comments on 'The Rebellious Slave Ch. 03'

Thanks for the next story ..you're awesome , and we all love you :)

A brilliant chapter, congratulations !

I shuddered as I read this chapter. Arlington is so disturbing, cruel, domineering (but I love her that way), and Kara, despite her slave position, is so brave :)

You have the gift of making me feel a lot of terrible sensations, but that makes my reading even more awesome, thanks !

I can not wait to read more :)

Thanks for the chapter, after reading the original and this one, it's exciting to see how much more detailed the story's become. Just a heads up though, towards the end of page two there's some repeating sentences that show up twice starting at "Perhaps". Doesn't affect the story though, just wanted to tell you in case you're a perfectionist like me.

You published a story of the same title in 2012, but this seems to be a different version of it. What's going on? Is the a substantial rewrite? You should explain what you're trying to do at the beginning of the first chapter.

This chapter is great. I kept checking every hour to see if it had been posted. The previous TRS involved a flogger, this involves a dildo. It’s way better and very erotic.

I saw some foreshadowing earlier in the chapter when A gets upset about Kara trying to bribe him. I see what you did there!

This was really good, and really hot. I love the contrast between gentle and cruel with A. Hope that continues throughout.

Were those few changes, like the dildo in her butt, instead of the hot flogger handle, because it was too dark?

Love your story. I like the strong female character. Looking forward to many more chapters.

There are some spots that are a bit too wordy , going on and one about her thoughts while resisting. Too much there. His punishment of her and the description of it, is just right. Overall story is good. The piercings, there would be one end of it that would have to be undone somehow for it to enter the flesh, then redone to seal it. I don’t recall reading this detail.

I did not see anything else that comes to mind. Keep writing, good potential as a story teller. You know, practice, practice and more...

There is a bit of duplicated phrasing on the second page, as if the same scene was written twice, but the older version wasn't deleted.

Been literally reloading the page every hour since October 2nd waiting for chapter 3!!! Love it! So excited for the next!

Just wanted to let you know though: on page 2, about half way down/ just below rhe ****** line you repeat the bits about the natural disaster and death-defying balancing act twice

I've been waiting what seems like years for the conclusion to this story and understand that it will be another year until it's actually posted. This chapter was weak and leaves me wondering if it's even worth going through reading all of this again. Even the sexual parts did nothing for me. You wrote about him licking her clit like he was taking an apple pit of the refrigerator. You make us wait weeks in between even though the story is supposedly all done an written already

, because you claim to need to exit, but the editing job on this chapter could have been done better by an 8 year old. Big disappointment. Post the whole story already so those of us that waited so long can see how it ends. I don't think many people are going to want to stick around for another umpteen chapters like this.

Since 2nd October I used to load the page ...Thanks

can't wait for the 4 , please upload it soon !!!

I love a story about resistance. Your focus on both of their thoughts is this scene are phenomenally well done. Which brings me to my only critical comment - you really need to add the tags 'slavery,' 'resistance,' and 'rebellion.'

I loved this chapter very much, thank you! In response to another comment here: I enjoyed the "wordy" parts in particular. Your style of writing is fabulous, you can really draw emotions with your words.

The only thing I maybe have missed is the whipping out of Kara's perspective and not just his. Maybe ;)

Can't wait for your the next part!

Seriously, I am ready, eager and determined to be pleased. Big fan of TRS 1.0. But so far I find this rewrite to be too polished where I hadn't missed any shine, yet lacking the original's edge and kink factor which I found so alluring. This new Arlington has yet to dominate me into wetness. So to speak.

Once more another great addition to the plot-line. The prose is impeccable and always, and the erotica elements are hot. The additional ending scene of her thinking things over and really getting to grips with what just happened was great, and I enjoyed the new ginger extract scene which was sexy and dominating (though maybe wished that he'd apply something to cool it down afterwards). The piercing scene was also a really awesome addition.

The addition of Arlington's point of view also was new to me (I might just be misremembering), and I'm a little mixed on it, as previously I kind of liked that Arlington comes off as this impenetrable force until the later flashback chapters. That said, getting his point of view was interesting, and does help establish him and his tastes which was good.

On the slight negative, I feel Arlington came off a lot less caring in this version, and his thoughts really didn't help in this. He just seems a bit of a manipulative jerk (I know he is to some extent, but I feel he comes off worse than previously). I'm also a bit confused by his throw away thought about branding irons. Whilst I do get the idea of marking his property that way (and think that doing so would be hot), it also comes off as a lot more abusive how he talks of 'irons' rather than just a single branding. Same way he threatens to do 'something permanent' to her at one point. It all feels a lot more aggressive and harmful than the strict and sadistic yet still caring and fair Arlington from my memory.

Overall though, those are minor quibbles within a remarkable story. As always The Rebellious Slave is a stand-out story, and one that I would highly recommend to anyone interested in the genre. Amazing job, and keep up the good work!

5/5 stars

Me...I love it dark and gotta say I preferred the previous version. I realize if it goes too dark then it’s very difficult to get published but my honest opinion is this has gone too far the other way.

Clothed at a slave auction ??

Caring for her after a scene?

Not the Arlington I remember.

Writing and description is top notch as before though, so still enjoying it.

Just my honest opinion and you can’t please them al.

Jpmaggers - This was probably the part of the original that I re-read the most and I can assure you that the piercing, Arlington’s perspective, and his throwaway line about branding were all in the original :)

I feel like you are trying to change to much of the story that people already loved.

It's a lot milder than it was before and I'm sad to say that with the mild way that Arlington is going and all the explaining and writing inbetween the scenes it didn't once turn me on like the original did. I'll give a 1 more chapter a go but I feel like you are going to change to much of this story and I'm sure it will ruin it for me. Editing isn't always a good thing if you get to carried away.

Well, I loved it.

Somehow you’ve managed to always attract some

Readers who are straight up rude and entitled with this story and I don’t know why or how. It’s a shame. Other authors have been more fortunate. You’re done a great job with the edits. The wordiness is your style and it’s great so don’t worry about that and it’s not reading like it was edited by an 8 year old. There are many stories here that deserve that type of comment but this isn’t one of them.

In any event. I love me an affectionate/caring asshole, and Arlington is one of the best. I found him hot as fuck, scary but also in his own way careful and kind (? Kind? You know what I mean.) I enjoyed the addition of his POV. I loved the ginger. I did love the previous version of the scene with the flogger handle but this new scene was no less hot to me. Loved stripping her with the knife. I found his affection came across better this time round - loved how he’s helping her breathe through it and fuck I’m a sucker for the douchebag dude telling the girl she’s a “good girl” while he’s forcing her to look at him/answer him/please him mid nonconning sesh gahhhhh so hot and whilst I don’t have the original for comparison I did feel there was more of that here. I am enjoying his gentleness with her as he does bad things and am interested to see how his feelings are shown to develop/evolve this time round, particularly with the additional POVs you seem to be adding. We all know how he ends up feeling about her, but back here at the start it wasn’t apparent first time round what he was feeling or thinking and so this is super fun.

Lastly, fuck I hope you’re adding a ton more ass stuff this time. That was hot, yes I know it was in the original but I found it hotter now as it felt more intimate the way he was holding her and touching her and the things he said and did here. Just delicious.

Sorry for the rant, on my phone and can’t edit or change it so this is my thoughts just coming out randomly.

Can’t wait for the next bit!

I think that your edits to this portion of the story are a huge improvement on the original. The anal scene is far more believable than in the previous version (an un-lubed flogger handle would have been the end of Kara), and I think that the affection and aftercare make Arlington a more multifaceted and realistic character. Focusing primarily on cruelty doesn't properly convey Arlington's sophisticated and manipulative approach. Arlington's tenderness is the poison on his blade, and I'm glad that you're added more emphasis on that quality. Well done!

Okay I will admit I jumped right on over here to leave a comment and have yet to begin reading the new TRS. I hadnt checked in for a few months and just decided to pop in with very little hope that there would be any updates. Needless to say, I am thrilled. I have been a fan of this story for years and even though while scrolling a bit I see a few people not liking whatever updates or changes have been made I am still 100% on board with whatever happens becuse I am just happy that this story was not forgotten about. Thanks Hispet! I'm gonna go read now. Just know you have made my day!

So...

Just so folks know, I am very aware of the repeating paragraph at the top of the second subsection. Somehow, I fucked up a copy/paste as I was editing and only caught it after the story was published. I have already submitted an edit and it should only take ~48hrs to fix. Really sorry, and super embaressed. At least it doesn't fuck with the story too terribly much. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'll respond to individual comments soon, but it's really interesting to see how people either seem to think there is too much sadism or not enough, lol. I think the original was way more violent, but...not always in a good way. In this chapter, I tried to re-capture a lot of the terror from the first without being unrealistic, either. Arlington wants to hurt and terrify Kara, but without causing her lasting physical harm. I did my research this time around to ensure that everything that happens to her pushes the edge without going too far (i.e. no cutting, reasonably sized/designed inserts, proper piercing practices, etc.). If it makes anyone feel better, this is the only chapter where I feel I've "dumbed down" the sadism and plot violence. In fact, I actually add some pretty heavy stuff in the revised version later down the line. But now, I feel Arlington is evil without reaching Algeris-level evil, lol.

It's hard to revise an old story and keep everyone happy, so I am mostly trying to keep myself happy, while not altering the original direction of the story too much. I doubt everyone will find the revised version satisfactory in this regard, but the original version of this chapter...I got so, so many complaints and I really felt I needed to take those into account. I also wanted to up some of the psychological elements. Rest assured, Arlington has not gone soft. ;)

HP21

Thank you for sharing your talent with us. It seems there is a range of opinions about the original version story vs this one, as well as some readers who haven’t read your bio page and aren’t aware this is a second edit. I think sometimes as readers we forget that authors on this site are sharing their works for free. While I respect everyone’s right to criticize or critique, I appreciate that you appear to be pretty thick skinned about it all. I like this version. It’s not less intense to me, just less raw. Lord Arlington is better developed and Kara has more depth. Sometimes the non-con category can have trouble balancing the pleasure/pain. I like how this version is playing out.

Wow sooo good!! Definitely liked it better then the old version. The details were amazing! I know someone said here in the comments that there was too much but I think you’re fine.

I like that he was aware of their cultural differences and even acknowledged it to her. I also liked that even though he was more affectionate/caring (compared to old version) in this version he was still strict and aggressive/domineering/controlling.

And dang, you are a good writer, because just as another commenter mentioned, I was feeling all the feelings with Kara. You made her really realistic here too with her emotions and I appreciate that.

I can tell there is some foreshadowing going on but I’m just not sure what it is actually foreshadowing haha so I’m excited to see that unfold.

The dildo makes a lot more sense then the flogger handles, especially that he actually prepared her this time with a type of lube, thank you for that realistic touch.

Also, I want to know every detail in that manilla folder!!! I know the stuff from the Doctor was in there but I want to know everything haha (hint hint ;]).

Oh and I loved how he caught her looking at the process for the piercing to make sure he was being sanitary!! So good!

Anyways, I love love loved it! And I obviously can’t wait for more! Haha and again, just like the other commenter I was literally checking for it to be approved/posted this week every like 3 hours.

(Also, Kara is a medic, here in our world is that equivalent to a doctor, a surgeon, or an RN? I know she can do surgery to take out the tracker... Anyways I was just curious :))

(Also, in regards to the negative comments, this is really good and this chap may not be as “dark” as the 1st version but I think that perhaps the 1st version was a little brutal (those flogger handles) but I like this cause he isn’t too soft on her he still is sadistic and kinky. He does talk a lot to her but he does this to help her understand what her position is as a slave! Kara doesn’t know anything about this culture and doesn’t know what the rules are for slaves or anything! And Arlington realizes that )

Haha sorry for the long post, I’m just obsessed with TRS 😅. Thanks for everything you do for us HP21

You've done a great job as usual, HisPet. Our beloved Arlington's torture is superb, but something about him, compared to the previous version, seems a bit watered down. You could feel the flame of his own pleasure and dominance before, but it seems weaker this time--it might be because you've gone out of your way to do a lot of explaining this time around. I could be wrong, but I feel that you really want us to interpret the chapter in a specific way and were particularly focused on that throughout your editing process, thus the delay. I could be totally wrong on that, but I really do think that one of the reasons your previous writing shined was due to the lack of hand-holding on your part. This comes in two flavors: a good hand-holding where you might want to change the perspective, which would be the piercing, and an unnecessary one, which is over-explanation of Kara's thoughts and the scene.

Your explanation of the "medical" side of the piercing preparation was quite welcome and awesome, but it was somewhere there that I stopped being scared-attracted to Arlington. I felt like I was just watching a scientific procedure that I had to perform later. You might have wanted to instead play that small scene from Kara's point of view, as the technical, non-emotional aspects of that preparation scene cut away from the emotional tension you build between the reader and Arlington. He is a character we love due to fear, and him providing us a preparation method seems more like he’s just someone showing us a procedure in lab, not the sadistic, painfully beautiful, secretly vulnerable man of incredible power we know him as. I love that you keep us scared and informed, but I don’t want the latter to take away from the former, thus my suggestion to play that scene from Kara’s point of view.

Aside from the technical explanations, I wanted to point out what I felt was over-explained. For example, this bit: "This time, Kara immediately fell silent. It wasn't a conscious decision. It just sort of...happened. The words were there—tumbling out in a flurry—and then they were gone. Arlington's tone was like dark, deadly poison, killing off mid-conception any thoughts she might have had and leaving her speechless." This was long enough that I felt dragged away from the tension you're working so hard to create. You could either do it in 1-2 short sentences or do away with it completely to maintain the flow. You shouldn't have to tell us, in post (with respect to the actual words), that the words tumbled out in a flurry...that then they were gone...that arlington's tone was deadly....like poison.....<---that's how I ended up reading it in my head. I just ended up going back and forth, whereas we should be getting that directly from the original lines. At most, to round things up/emphasize certain points, you should only say perhaps the first couple sentences combined with the allusion to poison--otherwise, it becomes jumbled and awkward, and takes away from the scene’s tension and your beautiful writing. Thus, I would watch out for that in the future.

Anyway, keep up the ABSOLUTELY great work, HisPet21, and I am enjoying this pace of updates--fuck all the haters who are looking only for their own quick satisfaction! I truly appreciate the time and energy you’ve put into this, so thank you so much for the past 6 years!

To process so many conflicting responses to your writing. I worry that it is causing you to second guess yourself and overthink. This chapter, I felt, had a very anxious vibe.

So many of us are here because we loved your original work. You are a fantastic writer. Trust yourself.

It's interesting to see Arlington's point of view and thought process. And I like the rewrites a lot. I'm happy to see more detail and I'm okay with the story drawing out. But I really really want to know how the rest of the story ends.I miss this story so much, I really hope you could post new chapters sooner. I wish we could've gotten more original chapter 31 content, or just to find out how it ends.

I have to tell you I LOVE this story, I pretty much visit Lit just to read this story. I’m still loving it but it’s starting to lose the raw edge that made me fall for Arlington.

I love that you had a Master who was scary smart, manipulative and seemingly pure evil (though I like that he has to balance his evil with SOME kindness... occasionally). It made him unpredicatable, I think you are starting to over polish and maybe demonstrate Arlington’s ‘control’ and reasoning too soon. Part of what made him so scary was the cruelty and uncompromising demands. Let us hate him, be frightened of him and THEN just when we think he is inredeemable soften/explain him. Personally I found him too nice, too controlled, the explanations, the lack of mocking and anger in his responses degraded that scary edge he had on the first run through. Just my thoughts.

I’ll keep reading no matter what, because I desperately want to see how everything ends :)

Hopefully the next chapter will be better. Remember she said this was a hard one to write and edit and she wasn’t very happy with it. It’s definitely not the Arlington I loved ;(

U take too much time just for editing ....that can be a bad thing as many others wait for a quite king time and there's a limit to everything.

Just saying

have a great day

I think everyone's recollection of the original is somewhat different, hence all of the contradictory comments about Arlington being either too callous or too affectionate. For my part, I remember the piercing scene (although I'm pretty sure it went down a bit differently), but forgot about the whipping, the knife, and other details, so given my fuzzy memory of the details, I still thought Arlington really brutal the second time around. But I'm sure a reader's reception of Arlington is inevitably colored by his/her memory of the experience of reading the first draft.

It’s so crazy to see how divided the opinions are in the comments. Half of the readers prefer the new milder Arlington and reading his perspective on why he does things, while the other half prefer the far more sadistic and cunning Arlington whose thoughts and reasonings behind doing things are left a mystery, and thus make him all the more terrifying.

I am of the latter opinion myself and I agree with the comments that there just wasn’t that “spark” in this chapter. I didn’t feel scared for Kara because he was being a lot more gentle. What another anonymous reader said summed it up perfectly:

“Part of what made him so scary was the cruelty and uncompromising demands. Let us hate him, be frightened of him and THEN just when we think he is inredeemable soften/explain him. Personally I found him too nice, too controlled, the explanations, the lack of mocking and anger in his responses degraded that scary edge he had on the first run through.”

Ah well. Unfortunately, as evidenced here, you can’t please everyone. If you (HisPet) are happy with the story then I am happy for you. I read your comment that we will see his original cruel and sadistic side in later chapters and I do really hope this is the case, as I just wasn’t feeling it this time around.

Every one opinion is so divided ,I like this new version also when especially 90 percent of the story is same.i think problem is arised because majority of the TRS readers already know more then half of the plot ,we know Kara is going to escape , Arlington is going to obsesses with her,even we can also sketch Arlington Past that he betrayed his previous girlfriend arilyn.i remember first time reading this story and then reading it again again savouring each Kara and Arlington interaction because for me the chemistry between them is the magna opus of the whole story.we already know so much that's why most of the readers are not satisfied and they find something lacking .if we see this chapter from the pov of a new reader it is pretty dark,because in the first version we don't know that Arlington was falling for Kara now it seems to most of us that he is soft from start which is not definitely the case . hispet21 keep up the good work. I am already waiting for the next chapter

I am somewhat conflicted. In this version of the scene, Lord Arlington is composed and very... clinical? While this makes perfect sense from the consistency and character arc points of view, it takes something away from the original's emotional punch. He is not channeling his inner dragon this time, if you will :) The flogger had to go, and for a very good reason, but still, I wonder if a more front-loaded introduction to Arlington's idea of a fun evening would be more satisfying.

HP21, if you say this was the only instance where the scene was toned down, then everything is probably fine (except that ch.30 business, oh sh....)

And, of course, I have another Extremely Important Question! What is the Earth equivalent of Lord Arlington's favourite wine(s)?

I noticed a few negative reviews, so I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed this chapter and love it even more because the changes to Arlington. While I don't remember every detail of the previous version, this chapter feels a lot more realistic.

I love the mix of intimidation, cruelty and care Arlington seems to excel at - it's the perfect mindfuck, really.

I'm very much looking forward to seeing what else you've done with TRS and will definitely be sticking with this story until its end.

Nyx

whoops, i didn't realize i exceeded the character limit as it didn't show in the preview, here's the rest!

<---that's how I ended up reading it in my head (I refer to the part I quoted here). I just ended up going back and forth, whereas we should be getting that directly from the original lines. At most, to round things up/emphasize certain points, you should only say perhaps the first couple sentences combined with the allusion to poison--otherwise, it becomes jumbled and awkward, and takes away from the scene’s tension and your beautiful writing. Thus, I would watch out for that in the future.

Anyway, keep up the ABSOLUTELY great work, HisPet21, and I am enjoying this pace of updates--fuck all the haters who are looking only for their own quick satisfaction! I truly appreciate the time and energy you’ve put into this, so thank you so much for the past 6 years!

As otters are saying, i find Arlington less intimidaties in this new version, part of that is because he is doing more ordinary less cruel things and part of that is because we read his thoughts now.

Do with it what you will, i Will keep Reading eather way xD

Xxx

I just want to reiterate what another reader said: that people who post stories here do so for free and without expecting anything in return. It's fine to not like a story and offer constructive feedback, but some of these comments are outright rude. As a community we need to support our authors.

That said, I liked this chapter and am excited for more. Thank you for taking the time to edit and re-release this story.

I read the original and came back to re-read it, only to find it gone! I'm glad to see you back as this story has been my favorite throughout quite a few years now. I'm now happily reading it again as you post. Please don't take this as an attack! It's purely critique and suggestion...

(I have not read the other comments so this might repeat previous commenters)

Editorial notes: 1) You repeat two of your paragraphs in Arlington's portion on page 2. 2) The use of glaring daggers with the use of his dagger seems repetitive. Lots of cutting. Cutting the skin, cutting the clothes, cutting of people with other's eyes. While it's a good metaphor, and good for "cutting her down," it's a bit over-used in this chapter. 3) The whole ginger thing is actually called 'figging.'

Comments:

1) In the old version, Arlington seemed to be a much more sinister and terrifying figure at the beginning. I did find myself wanting to hear more of Arlington's side of the story during the first version, which you delivered this time, but I think it takes something away from the ability to understand why Kara is so scared. This casts her in a much weaker light. And him as well. I think I would wait longer to really get his POV going in the story, but I don't know how to just throw his POV into the mix later on. I'm not sure yet, what to suggest to fix this, only to give you an impression. Sorry for not offering anything helpful

2) Our impression of Kara's terror might be increased more by seeing her thoughts falling apart along with her actions. When we begin with her thinking, and are abruptly left with bodily description, I think you lose the mental attachment we have with the character. We're experiencing it with her, and then we're watching instead. While it does give a feeling of detachment which would come with the torture, I think if you stayed in her head more than describing what is happening to her, the story might benefit. This might mean editing out more of Arlington's POV and leaving the narration to the narrator.

Perhaps leave Arlington's POV out until the end of the scene to ruminate on her behavior?

3) Arlington points out a lot of what Kara is doing instead of letting the reader sit with the actions. For example, he points out that it wouldn't be good for Kara to be able to regroup, and then doing just that steals the moment from Kara and kind of strongarm's the reader into seeing her as strong. Let the reader grow with Kara and try not to point out what you're doing. We'll see it; we'll get it.

4) Be mindful of making Arlington into a trick to drive the plot forward and not his own character. He doesn't need to be the POV that provides all the exposition.

Again, please take this as critique, not as an attack! I love this story and am happy to return to it again!

I love where you’re taking this story! Thank you!

I know people are saying that this Arlington isn't as scary, but I disagree. I'm glad you've portrayed Arlington as more controlled in this version because it makes him more dangerous. A man who is easily angered or otherwise emotional is a worse decision-maker. To some extent, his emotions control him, rather than his mind, which, to me, completely undercuts a man who's supposedly "in control." The more he's in control of himself, the more he's in control of Kara. Arlington is the puppeteer: calm, confident, collected. It would be amateurish for someone like Arlington to be emotionally affected by a sassy new slave. In my opinion, the most terrifying sadists are the kind, calculating, detached ones. The untouchable ones. This Arlington will crawl inside Kara, an inch at a time, with whispers and caresses, and live there, without her even realizing it. Ugh, he's incredible.

I found it a little jarring to read his thought process though because he's the 'bad guy' and knowing that he is being very strategic and sort of ... kind (at least for the situation), takes away from the overall picture.

On the other hand, as an original reader, I already knew all that. It might make it a bit less believable to see Kara fighting so hard against him when he isn't that cruel to begin with. I can see her fighting against slavery but why Arlington? So far, he isn't sick or cruel or mean... he's just on the opposite side to her.

Looking forward to seeing how you balance it all out.

Holy crap, I LOVE what you did what that scene. That and the little extra evilness with the ginger root oil made the chapter for me! Thank you! I am loving this “reboot”. I sped through reading this so I don’t have too many constructive critiques. I noticed that you may have made a typo. You repeated a line about Arlington liking Kara’s gall in 2 back to back paragraphs. I like all of the little nuances that were added this time around, like the painting of the trees in the beginning of this chapter. It definitely allows my mind to paint a better picture of the scene. My one small dislike would be the internal monologues. With Kara, it’s usually when she’s freaking out, I get annoyed by her drivel lol. With Arlington, I like dark, mysterious, creepy, dick-ish Arlington. So I think that hearing too much of his thoughts ruins his..mystique? I personally prefer a high third person and a very low first person ratio. Thank you again! I look forward to your next chapter!

-ystarr(too lazy to sign in haha)

Oops, I totally did not read any of the other comments before posting my own. I saw just now that you mentioned your copy and paste error. Definitely did not mean to kick you while you were already down. I also read Clare’s comment and I do like her point about being able to see Arlington’s feelings this time around. So I’m torn between douchey, someone-sit-on-his-face-to-shut-him-up-already Arlington, and the current one that satisfies my curiosity. *sigh* I’m being totally wishy washy. So maybe just ignore me hahah.

-ystarr

Any chance the old version will be made available somewhere? I'm regretting not copying it in it's entirety now, as I would love to be able to go back and compare the two.

I wish I could "like" comments. I completely agree.

Why some people are saying Arlington is soft ,he whipped her ,pierced her ,rape her with dildo,and threatened her with knife in their first private encounter ever.imagine this happening in real world with a real person this is cruel and cold.hispet why are you are not commenting I often come back to this story again again to read your comments?plz come back

I see that I am not the first to say that I like the old one better. I feel like Kara is less fearless in this one, like most I don't like all of the commentary of Arlington, and I agree with some that I was less turned on by this version. I wish I could have just read the ending of the first version. I don't think I want to reread a less sexy version of this long story. I really did enjoyed the first version of this story length and all.

Yo,

I took a while to respond because I needed some time to process all the feedback I was getting, a lot of it very conflicted. I will respond to individual comments below, but thought I'd save some time by addressing the most common sentiments in bulk first.

(1) "Arlington isn't sexy anymore!": Eh...those of you who have been around for a while know that I very, very rarely disagree with readers. Your feedback is invaluable and the reason I stick around, so why wouldn't I soak up every criticism, the good and the bad? But this is one of those rare instances when I just beg to differ, although I understand the sentiment. Bear with me, I can explain!

Arlington is definitely not a good person. He's a villain, and an unabashedly cruel one. That's what makes him sexy! But he's also a cautious, conniving, thoughtful villain and that's what makes him truly terrifying. In the original version of this chapter, I didn't do my research--I just kind of let my imagination run wild without any thought toward the practical side of things--which isn't just bad writing, it is bad storytelling. Because Arlington is supposed to be crafty and through his actions, I made him sloppy. No lube? Unsanitary piercing practices? WTF was I thinking? I wasn't, I was just word vomiting whatever came to mind and I wanted to fix that this time around.

Personally, I think Arlington is still pretty brutal in this scene. It's his first night with Kara and he gags her, intimidates her with a knife, anally rapes her, whips her, and then pierces her precious ladybits. I mean, that's fucking rough. And it does, in fact, get a whole lot rougher. While I dumbed this chapter down a little violence-wise, I definitely upped that intensity in some of the following chapters to make up for it. By the time we get back to where we were, I think there will still be plenty of reason to both hate and love and have wetdreams about Lord Fuckface. But now, at least, when he hurts people, it's always intentionally.

Like I said, Arlington wants to terrify Kara, but not do any permanent damage because at this stage, she isn't some dangerous enemy combatant he wants to destroy. No, she is far, far less than that--she's just fucking property and nobody wants to break their toys after one use.

(2) "The chapter didn't turn me on this time around!": This I actually get, and I think SaberArturia explained the reasons why brilliantly. But again, allow me to explain...

In the original version of this chapter I did--contrary to widespread belief--delve into Arlington's point of view. The entirety of the first half of the original Ch. 06 was his thought processes and actions, with a sprinkling of Kara's thrown in for good measure. However, I more consciously delineate between shifts in POV this time around and I delve a lot more deeply into Arlington's POV in this specific chapter. I did so to establish that Arlington is, in fact, a mindfucker and that his mental manipulation is both well thought-out and victim-specific. The unfortunate result of this exposition is that there is now more text breaking up the flow of the action in a way that can make it difficult to get sucked into all the sexy fear this chapter is supposed to elicit. I was aware of that and tried to properly balance it out, but alas! It seems I have failed a lot of folks. The good news is that I don't do this with every scene, it's just heavily emphasized in the intro to Arlington's training technique.

(3) "Kara isn't badass anymore!": Eh, I did heavily edit her little intro monologue when she refuses to submit to Arlington for the first time. It is, indeed, a little less badass now, but I still think Kara is plenty badass. Standing up to Lord Arlington at all--when she knows for a fact that he'll eventually get her to break and the only thing she's saving by defying him is a few slivers of her soon-to-be shattered pride--is kind of hardcore. We don't get to see how the other slaves handle their first night (although in the next chapter, ya'll will get to see Arlington confront Tamius in the morning), but I promise you, a lot of them break down way fucking faster than Kara, purely for survival reasons. I edited her monologue to reflect the fact that she's scared, but even then, she's fighting back--which is what true bravery really is, I think? As we progress, she'll do her usual teetering between breaking down and rising up again twice as strong as before, but she starts off a little more anxious at the beginning. It's not until she realizes how thoroughly Arlington's been fucking with her head at the end of this chapter that she gets really, really pissed off.

Now, off to individual comments!

HP21

"We don't get to see how the other slaves handle their first night, but I promise you, a lot of them break down way fucking faster than Kara, purely for survival reasons."

Buuut ... I thought Kara and Tamius were Arlington's first conquest slaves? Since the Callihistra offensive was also his first high-profile military campaign as a Lord of Isleydor. My understanding (although I admit my memory of the first draft is fuzzy) was always that all of his other slaves willingly entered into slave contracts with him in order to escape the prison system (like Alice), so it was shitty that the society they live in forced them to sign away all of their rights, but at the very least they knew what they were getting into. And if I remember correctly, it was actually Mr. Karp, not Arlington, who trained and inducted them into his household, because even if they had problems adjusting to their slavery, they didn't necessarily need to be brutalized and "broken down" the way Arlington tries to do with Kara, because they weren't taken captive and forced into slavery the way Kara was. So technically, this is actually Arlington's first time training his own slaves, since they are dangerous POWs and not what Mr. Karp signed up for. Arlington, the experienced interrogator, has charge of the dangerous prisoners. And Mr. Karp is in charge of keeping all the other, normal contract slaves in line?

@Anonymous "You published this story in 2012": Yep, this is a substantial re-write. I fixed a lot of grammar/spelling errors, continuity errors/plotholes, and beefed up the content this time around. I'll also be finishing off the story (finally). There are several new scenes sprinkled throghout the old chpaters, but 100% new content starts at Chapter 23 w/ a new "Tale of Arlington" segement and everything from Chapter 25 onward is also brand new. There is more detail in my bio, if you're interested.

@happiestsaddest: Thanks! I'm glad the foreshadowing is going well, now that I actually know where I am going with this story and what I am doing. XD

@cutekittysub: No, the changes were not made for TOS reasons, but to ensure that Arlington's actions are consistent with his character and the overall story is realistic. As I said in another comment, this is the only time I feel I've "dumbed down" any of the content significantly. Hope that makes you feel a bit better if you were worried. :)

@Anonymous "Boring": I really am sorry to have caused so much frustration. If you're not interested in reading the edited version of the story, 100% new content will begin at Chapter 23 with a new "Tale of Arlington" segment and everything from Chapter 25 onward is also totally new. It will take a while to get to that point and I know that sucks, but I am trying to balance reader needs with my own and for my own sanity, I really needed to do an edit ad clean up/foreshadow some stuff better before I finished up.

@ZZchromosome: Thanks so much for commenting on this chapter and the last. I really hope you continue to do so, since it's really great getting feedback from someone who wasn't here for the first series of postings. I am glad you are enjoying the story so far! I'll consider adding the tags you mentioned, though Lit limits us to ten per chapter.

@Anonymous "My Honest Opinion": Thanks so much for your honest opinion, seriously. I agree that I may have gotten a bit obsessive over re-doing this "right" and the result is some wordiness that messes with the overall edge of the story. I will be sure to keep an eye on that when doing my final read through on the following chapters. I actually think things really even out with TRS Ch. 04, so it would be nice to get your opinion on that once it's been posted. I am hoping the folks that found this chapter lackluster will find the spark again in the next.

HP21

@Jpmaggers: Thanks so much for your insight! I definitely want Arlington to come off as an "impenetrable force" again in this revised version, at least at the beginning. While I did include Arlington's perspective in the original version of this chapter, I didn't delineate it as clearly and I think that's throwing some folks off. Nevertheless, it could also be that I expanded on his perspective a bit, too. I am hoping future chapters even things out a bit.

As to Arlington coming off as a "lot less caring," I think I actually went in the other direction quite a bit. His mention of the brands was included in the original story and he threatens to make Kara "permanently regret" her actions, not necessarily do anything physically permanent. I think Arlington just likes sounding scary, lol. (And he is not above a good bluff, either.) But at the same time, he most definitely will do what he has to do to reign in his slaves. In this version, though, he is a lot more safety conscious (i.e. lube, proper piercing practices, etc.), actually gives Kara a little after care (i.e. the salve), and there's a lot more kisses here and there (though I think it's important to note that affection is not the same thing as kindness).

Anywho, thanks so much for your critique; this stuff is great and really helpful when I am finalizing edits prior to posting! :)

@Masterfuljim: Hey, glad to see you back! It's always been nice getting your comments, especially since I don't have as many male readers and we seem to both be fans of, as you say, "the darker stuff!" XD

Agreed this is a little less violent than the original, but Kara was definitely clothed at auction in that version (because I love me some sexy knifeplay) and the only real aftercare Arlington provides is the salve (because I need her piercings healed quickly if I want to do more mean things later >:‑)).

I promise, this is the only chapter where I "dumb down" any of the violence (and yes, this includes the original Chapter 30) and I actually amp it up a little in some new scenes to balance this one out.

Hope to see you around!

@xxClarexx: "...fuck I’m a sucker for the douchebag dude telling the girl she’s a “good girl” while he’s forcing her to look at him/answer him/please him..."

Yeah, I love that stuff, too! I think a lot of folks are upset with the added affection this time around because it makes Arlington come across as soft, but I've always thought that affection isn't necessarily the same thing as kindness. In the context of this chapter, I actually think Arlington's affection counts as cruelty. It's not like Kara is taking comfort in the fact that Arlington is praising her and occasionally giving her a kiss--that's gotta be fucking terrifying to experience while some stranger is in the process of literally torturing you. Like, "Yeah, I just raped your ass; good girl for taking that so well!" I'd be like, "WTF, who the fuck is this psycho?!?!" I personally find it super hot that affection can be wielded as a weapon and more than a bit mindfucky to boot.

Also, yes, I promise there will be more ass stuff, haha! XD

@Anonymous "Big Improvement": Aww, thanks so much; I am glad you liked it! Also: "Arlington's tenderness is the poison on his blade..." Holy crap, I love that line. Do you do any writing, too?

@InnocentVenus: Thanks so much for your comments. It's so much dang fun seeing people gush about the same sorts of things I was gushing about when I was writing the story! That manila folder scares the crap outta me, lol.

As to your question, Kara is the equivalent of a full-fledged physician with experience in internal medicine, general surgery, and palliative care. In Callihistra, professional training starts really, really young. You can get certain degrees in college, but when it comes to medicine, you generally skip college and attend relevant seminars/classes, while getting mentored one-on-one through an apprenticeship. It's a ten year process and Kara would have started that at ~15, so she's been a doctor since age 25 and joins the war effort at 26, then Gardok falls right around her 28th birthday. (Ages have been very slightly altered in this new version of the story; I'll post if anyone is interested). The reason Kara thinks of herself as a "medic" is that physicians aren't given the same kind of prestige in Callihistra that we (and Isleydor) typically give our doctors. They don't get fancy titles and nobody is like, "OMG, he's a doctor?!?! Lock that shit down!" It's actually considered a rather humble profession, though medics tend to get a fuckton of respect for their knowledge base, selflessness, and impartiality. People generally associate medics with wisdom and kindness rather than intelligence, status, and money, at least where Kara is from.

@SaberArturia: I already mentioned this in a previous comment, but I really like your analysis here. I do think I was maybe hyper-aware of all the criticism I originally got on this particular chapter and over-did it a tad when trying to correct all my mistakes. The result was that I accidentally lost some of the tension from the original scene. I am not sorry about dumbing down some of the violence and adding in some relevant research, but I am sorry about that. I like being a little wordy, but once things go too far in that direction, it disrupts the flow of emotions readers are supposed to feel. Luckily, I think this was the only chapter where that ends up being a big problem. It was the chapter I was most sensitive about and probably the main reason I decided to fully edit the story from the beginning, rather than just plowing ahead. My anxiety definitely showed, but I think I'll likely keep it as is rather than doing further editing work. At some point, I have to leave the story as it is and just move forward. Onward, and I hope you'll find the following edits a lot better. :)

HP21

How old are Kara and Arlington please?

@Anonymous "It must be hard": Thanks, I definitely needed that reminder. You do definitely second-guess yourself as a writer at times, and I'm gonna make sure I work hard to avoid doing that too much. :)

@Anonymous "Thank you but please be careful!": Thanks so much for taking the time to critique me, as I really do appreciate it! I definitely think my writing style on this one dampened some of the raw edge, but I am hoping to redeem myself in the next several chapters, in part using comments like yours as a guide. :)

@Anonymous "Just a Thought": Yeah, I definitely think reader reactions are being colored, at least in part, by their knowledge of the original story. I expected as much and I know I am not going to be able to please everyone and, similarly, not everyone is going to be happy with the re-write or at least certain parts of it. At the same time, I really hope I don't fuck anything up too bad, lol. I want a more polished, well-rounded story, but I don't want to fundamentally change anything. As a Star Wars fan, I have been repeating "Han shot first!" over and over to myself while editing, haha! But in the end, I did my best and I hope that'll be good enough.

@Naval_Nonperson: Lol, the original Chapter 30 (now Chapter 24) is pretty much staying the exact same as the original, minus a few minor clarifications. God, I got so much hate for that, lol. But unlike in this chapter, all that violence was very carefully thought-out and absolutely necessary for the plot. As to your question, I honestly wouldn't know what Arlington prefers, as his tastes are almost certainly far more sophisticated than mine. All the wine I drink is ultra sweet and comes in $10 bottles, lol. I doubt he'd use my wine to even cook. XD

@Anonymous "Guess I'm gonna nitpick...": You are absolutely, 100% right. Like, literally everything you say is insanely accurate and I am actually kind of stunned, lol. But when I said "the other slaves," I meant the other conquest slaves sold at auction, not Lord Arlington's other slaves. A lot happens "off screen" so to speak and a lot of those poor suckers break pretty much immediately. In some cases, it's because their new masters are a lot worse than Arlington (i.e. Algeris, Charolette, etc.). But in other instances, it's simply because they are well aware of their fate and know that fighting will only lead to more suffering. Kara is willing to endure this suffering for the sake of her values, but not every conquest slave has the same convictions, famous military personnel or not. I hope this clarifies things! :)

Basically any detail of TRS world I would love to have info on haha. So that age info and everyone’s ages would be much appreciated :] haha and if you ever have the courage to write what’s in that manilla folder I would LOVE to know! I think it would be fascinating to know what Arlington ACTUALLY knows about her and what he bluffs about.

Like I wondered in the first version why Arlington never used more if that folder against her. Like it must have stuff from her last right? Or maybe he never brought that up cause he just wants her to focus on the present as a slave and not in the past as a free person?

Thank you for taking the time to respond to all of us! We truly aren’t worthy of it haha (but seriously)

What are the new ages? 👀👀👀

Also are you still planning on doing a blog and posting the rest of chap. 30?

To be honest, I find her the most fascinating character. Im so excited to see how, why, you flesh her out more in this re-do, and how she fits into the larger story. I remember in one of the chapters, I commented about the book she wrote, and the title and cover. I still think it says so much about how she sees and understands what is happening (she's no idiot), and how she intervenes and doesn't in this relationship.

Ok so this might be completely off but I'm pretty sure hispet21 responded listing the ages of most of the main characters on an old chapter ages ago. My brain is telling me that Kara is 27 and Arlington is 35?? The decades are definitely right at least.

You have a keen eye for detail and develop vivid characters. Here are a couple of plot issues that need attention from the first version of the story.

The slaves wear chastity belts all the time. How could they do this without some serious hygiene problems?

Please tell us how Arilyn died.

When Kara helps Taimus escape, she should conceal her actions longer to give Taimus more time and piss Arlington off even more.

When Ben kills Arlington's thug, he and Kara have sex near the corpse --kind of gross!

Finally, in the last chapter, the torture is way too graphic. Please don't let them mutiliate Kara.

Please keep writing and posting this story. I'm dying to know how you will end it.

Will Ben save Kara and defeat Arlington? Will Arlington stand up for what is right and win Kara's love? Will Ben, Kara, and Arlington have some bizarre love triangle?

You have quite a readership, so please keep writing.

Tbh medic or not I have a hard time believing Kara did not take those piercings out and throw them down the drain the second she was alone.

HisPet, don't sell yourself short regarding wine tastes! Actually, some of the most famous and sought after wines have residual sugar levels exceeding 200 g/L! And not all of them balance it out with increased acidity.

I am here waiting for the conclusion. New version is good but in my opinion, no better than the original version, just slightly different. Much of the thrill of the original series (to me at least) was largely due to the uncertainty of "what will happen next?" Since I already know much of the story line (unless this version is drastically different of course), there is less thrill. Many consider the new Arlington to be softer, nicer... whatever. I still hold the same hatred for him, so consider it a job well done since he instilled the same reaction in me in this version as he did the first time around. I am all about Kara and her fate and it is her fighting spirit that makes this story a keeper for me. Keep going please and I can't wait till you post the next chapter.

If I remember correctly hispet once said that Kara is 27 and Arlington is 35?? I might be totally off though haha I'm trying to remember a comment from ages ago.

Alright, so people wanted ages...

Kara Chrystein: 28

Elandra Durell: 35

Alyssa Terrance: 33

Florence Querren: 55

Tamius Sue: 34

Benjamin Karrington: 36

Philmore Belvodeil: 36

Alan Greenwood: 63

Charolette Reigner: 37

Lord Eli Algeris: 57

Lord David Arlington: 38

As new characters are introduced and/or become relevant, I'll post their ages in the comments section. I also am still intending to get a blog going and posting the first section of Chapter 25 at some point, I just have other priorities currently. :)

HP21

This has been my favourite story on Literotica so far, I cannot wait for the next chapter. Do you post work (erotic or otherwise) elsewhere? Your storytelling style is excellent.

Fear was his weapon, and he wielded it as artfully as a surgeon with a scalpel.

I’ve been waiting for such a long time for this story and I’m glad it’s back!! But man oh man are they going at you in the comments. I know it must put a lot of pressure on you having to read about people being “disappointed” in the rewrite. Not much is different in my opinion. Keep going, only you know where you want your characters and story to go. It’s your world 😊. So many of the great stories on this site hardly ever get finished. At least you’re back and that’s enough for me.

I decided that I’m going to wait until the story is finished in its entirety before I read it. There are just way too many stop and gos at this point. If I remember correctly, you said that when you began reposting there wouldn’t be hiatuses because it would all be done. It seems like it’s not done, though, because you’re still writing and editing. So I ask, when do you anticipate finally finishing and posting in its entirety? If my dates are correct it would be mid-2020. I just wanna know because I plan to come back when it’s done. I really like the story. I just want to know when that is.

Wow this is fantastic you have managed to maintain the integrity of the original whilst adding even more depth to the characters. I love it 😍

I actually prefer the new version of this scene because of the more realistic events. Before Arlington shoved a 3 inch diameter handle, or something along those lines, into Kara's ass and I remember being pulled out of the flow of the story because of it.

Arlington is still very much Arlington , if not more so.

Agreed with anonymous: when do you estimate the full story to be posted? If you’re posting stuff every 2-3 weeks, that would be 2020. I just don’t want to follow along like I did last time (I was one of the original readers way back when) and get disappointed with hiatuses (yes I know it’s free and you have no obligation to do so, but I would love to see a finished product)

Yesterday was the submission date of chapter 4 ,I know hispet this story is free you have a life,but still I wish some times you surprise us by posting chapter earlier or on time.

So please just post on time. Sell it somewhere. Make yourself a patreon. I would rather pay for a finished product then to be consistently disappointed every two weeks.

You guys really shouldn’t get your hopes up about this story actually finishing. Take it as it comes. It’s been years and years since the original first chapters with year long breaks between chapters at times. Multiple promises made and broken. Have you not learned your lesson by now? Honestly, at this point I am beginning to believe the delays are intentional to harvest reactions.

Just be glad you havent paid any money. At least you haven’t been ripped off like GRR Martin fans.

really? comments like that reveal a lack of respect for the creative process, the author's wishes, and artistic sensibility.

you overestimate your importance. take your pathetic and infantile frustrations elsewhere.

If you love the story like i do and you have been around for years waiting for this ....stop complaining about the timing it is coming out and just wait or just dont read it anymore smh it sounds so rude when you are complaining about about it

Anyways Hispet I love your story and cant wait for the next part to come out

And I want to actually be able to read it.

HisPet posted on her bio weeks ago that the next chapter is also going to be delayed so y’all should have been prepared for this lol. It also says on her bio that chapter 5 should get us back on track for posting on the correct days (every other Thursday). Though there are no promises for that either of course.

This chapter had a lot of well written detail. I was only going to read a little bit, but ended up reading the whole chapter. Can not wait for next job. Great writing!

I've read this story so many times. Thanking God for this rewrite! Your editing is spot on. It is so much more intense than before. I feel like you made him (lord fuckface) more of an asshole which is great cause he is 100% asshole. And he fucking hurts kara! I hate feeling sympathy for him. But I do!!! Darn your amazing writing skizznills!!! Thank you! Please keep it up!!

-Victoria p.

I’d be more surprised if the stories were actually posted on time. I know it’s free but every single promise results in disappointment so I think I’ll just add a week to whatever time commitments you give. At least we’re getting any updates at all I guess.

You can take as many years as you like for your stories ..or i can say for editing.

I'm not visiting your page again , I hope others can stop waiting as well ...you take weeks just for editing , smh.

Good bye.

I thought the year plus hiatus was to actually finish the story. Your bio said there wouldn’t be hiatuses when you began reposting because trs would be finished in August. It’s a chapter a month at this point. Good story but I’m not going to wait on it with other completed or near completed stories on the site. Best of luck to you

Chill out everyone, HP21 is doing just fine! Seriously, if you can’t wait then come back in a year or two. It’s really not that big of a deal lol

If you’re in the USA then take this time to vote or something yeesh.

@HP21 you go girl! Do your thang and don’t let the cray people get you down.

To everyone so gung-ho on telling others how they should feel about waiting 5+ years for a story (with repeated broken promises), STOP IT. No one is forcing us to wait and no one can tell us not to complain about the wait (part of the disappointment comes from the timelines set by the author in the first place). It really looks like brown nosing and for what? You’re not going to get the story any sooner than anyone else haha. Yes it’s free...but there’s a reason she’s posting it on this free site in the first place! Personally, my comment stems from the fact that I was looking forward to finding out how the war ended (which is what she promised last year); I would love for HP to clarify when she’s going to post the entire story (so I can make an informed choice on my end). Like someone said, it’s kinda like GRRM except he has a tv show to give us an ending

I agree with some other commenters. I will stop checking for updates. Thought we’d be on chapter 5 by now (with biweekly updates), but at this rate it won’t be posted until 2020. May check back then, but my interest isn’t what it used to be.

She is doing it for free. Dammit. It is in her free time, additional to all the stuff going on in her own life. You don't know what's going on, so who are you to judge?

Honestly, what's the point in writing her that you stop looking for updates?

Does it make her work faster? - No. Does it make her feel better? - No. Does it make anyone feel better? - NO. If you don't have to say something that will end up useful or positive in any way, then please just don't say anything at all.

I'm a big fan of Rothfuss KKC, so I'm used to waiting for a story, like long. Longer. Much longer. And he does it for his living. I will keep checking no matter how long it takes, as long HP21 will not give up this story.

For everyone saying how we should understand it's free, believe me we do. I and I am sure many would pay to read this story and it was suggested to HP21.

However for us to be invested and every once in a while read and re read a story that is still pending since 5 years based on false promises is not respectful of our time.

I will check in a couple of years for this again but no longer weekly.

But kindly keep on updating, just say like I am working on it blah blah blah.ao that we can know that you have not abandoned the story and is working on it in

Stop with all the negativity ,she already has given us 3 wonderful chapters and she will provide us with more ,just chill .hispet we are here whenever you will submit your story,we have waited five years we will wait more but I agree with anonymous commenter to keep on updating us what happening.i remember you had previously said that chapter 4 will have new scenes that's why I think you are taking such time.dont let negative feedback underrate you just focus on all the positive feedback,and just update us what's going on

But difficult truths aren’t always negative! People are just being realistic with the pace of the story...doesn’t make them negative posters. Also, at this rate, there’s no guarantee that this story will get finished. Maybe it’ll be another indefinite hiatus every year or so...if that’s the case, you all can wait until your heart is content

Call me negative all you want, but broken promises under any circumstances are not cool. If HP can’t be consistent then whatevs. I just wish she would be honest about it.

It's really bold of people to sit in the comment section and make demands on someone's time. You aren't paying for anything and HP owes you nothing. Honestly, if I were her I'd be relieved to see the negative nancy's leave. Stop being greedy. Life happens and this is a hobby, not a job.

She set these apparently unrealistic deadlines. We didn’t. She said the story would be done in August. We’re only here because she said to come back in August.

You're being greedy and aggressive. I've posted stories here on an alt account. Posting initially is stressful enough without the added demands of commenters. You aren't helping. If you don't like missed deadlines, that's understandable. But take your bad attitude somewhere else. Hell, pay to read a completed book series on Amazon. We need to support the authors here because they are gifting us with something they created in their free time. As in those precious hours outside of work, chores, family, etc. The quiet time when most people relax, but they're working for free. HP is sharing her creative process with us, but for some reason you think she owes you her free time. Ridiculous.

I don’t see why it’s such a big deal to some of you that people are complaining. it’s annoying as hell to be promised something and not get it. I haven’t been here since day one but some of these commenters have. I really can’t imagine waiting that long for one chapter. People just want the ending and now have to wait years...AGAIN. Hp21 has some pretty loyal fans for them to still be around after the first third and fourth round of broken promises. And here they are again I don’t blame them for giving up on this round. This isn’t how you treat loyal fans. Don’t say you’re going to do something if it’s possible you can’t. All anyone wanted was the ending and to get there everyone has to get through years of broken promises first haha it’s literally torture.

But you are trying to control other people’s opinions and feedback in an effort to brown nose and it is disgusting... yes it’s posted on a FREE site. HisPet21 knows that too. If she wanted people to pay for this story, it wouldn’t be on Literotica (a site for FREE stories). Like I said before, the frustration people are expressing is totally understandable. 5 years with constant assurances that the story will be completed and completed at (insert date here) is actually worse than just abandoning a story because at least at some point readers (like myself) just stop checking for updates...I Would have forgotten this story if I wasn’t told a year ago that it would be finished by now. Anyway: it’s been great (the original story was awesome and exciting. With the action and really good sex scenes)...I really wish you’d been able to finish it since other people have kind of bit off your ideas and gotten huge followings and publishing

I guess at some point we all have to learn. Its been a month since the last chapter and not even an update. I love this story, and Ive followed it for years, but at this point I feel like Im in an abusive relationship and that I keep going back for more when the other person doesnt give a damn. Its free, but people have been invested for years in this story, which people wouldnt have If it wasnt so good. I guess this is me, being a strong independant woman who doesnt need no conclusion.