The Recovery Plan

The staff member had gotten mouthy and taunted her, gloating over how powerless the little freak "boy" was to do anything about the way she abused her authority, and Mel lost it. In her rage she kicked the door to the staff room off it's hinges, punched the drywall all over the group home to shit, broke windows, threw chairs through walls, and when the staff member tried to sneak around from the back to her $120'000 sports car to escape the volcano she'd triggered, Mel intercepted her, kicked her headlights out, and screaming like a lunatic, beat the staff member into unconsciousness.

Another staff member gave her bus tickets to get her to leave. She was arrested at school. Her mother disowned her for beating up a woman, given why she had divorced Mel's father to begin with. She got in more fights in Juvey, and bounced from institution to institution. Most let her keep her breasts hidden. They didn't want the headache. But then she got transferred to Metro Toronto West detention centre, and her life was destroyed forever.

The guard took her tensors away, under the auspices that she could use them as a weapon. Then she was stripped of her baggy clothes and put in prison standard sweatpants and teeshirt. The guards just laughed at the "little faggot's" protests. Then they stuck her in C-Block, with the hardtimers.

She'd stayed by the gaurd door the first day, only sneaking to the shower when a fight broke out. She was rinsing soap off when it happened. Five of them took turns while two hel her legs apart, after ramming her face into the ceramic multiple times.

The guards didn't lift a finger to stop it in spite of her screams. They refused to get her to a doctor. They ignored everything. Then they put her, still bleeding, in her cell. For the next three months she was violated every night. When she was finally released she immediately got herself examined by a doctor, having avoided showering and going so far as to hold her cellmate's cum inside her the entire night and day until she saw the doctor. The exam and tests proved her case, and she sued the prison, and the guards who taunted her homophobically, and the boys who'd assaulted her were all charged.

For the deep heinous nature of her experiences, she was awarded $14'000'000 Canadian. All the gaurds named in the suit were dismissed from their jobs. Her cellmate was convicted and got more time on his sentence. The other boys got off for lack of enough evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt they had harmed her. Still, it had been a victory.

When her mother and stepfather tried to make nice, she gave then $500'000 and told them to cease to exist in her life. They had hurt her, rejected her, treated her like an annoying burden and driven her into self-loathing. She said in no uncertain terms she wanted nothing more to do with them, ever, and they could consider the half million a "fuck off" present.

Then she moved to Vancouver and tried her best to put all of that behind her. She successfully petitioned to have her sex legally rectified as female given how she was operated on as an infant, changed her name, and began to live as herself.

As she stepped out of the bath to towel off she pondered how lonely she had really been. She wanted so badly to accept Lani's proposal, but she had to be sure. So she got herself dressed up, made herself look very fetching in a velvet cocktail dress and her piercing blue eyes shadowed just lightly shadowed, and satisfied she looked pretty enough to not pale in the presence of her afternoon appointment, she grabbed her purse and left.

When she got to the restaurant, she was lead to a table where an absolutely stunning blonde was seated. The woman was in a black suit and tie, with a silk scarf in her hair. She waved the waiter away to denote not having decided on her order yet, and without looking up from the menu she greeted Malanie.

"I did wonder when I'd get a call from you," the woman said. "I keep up on your comings and goings you know."

"I know," Mel replied. "So I'm pretty sure you know why I'm here then."

The blonde put the menu down and sighed softly. Her eyes were puffy, she'd clearly cried a great deal at some point in the past few hours.

"Oh," Mel said seeing the blonde's eyes, "oh I'm sorry Miss, it wasn't my wish to upset you. Should I leave?"

"No it's fine," the blonde said. "Just old wounds and new scars. Now let me look at you."

Mel twirled obediently at the blonde's command. The blonde was impressed.

"You know how lucky you are," she said smiling, "that for you I did free what some men pay me thousands for?"

"You refused my money," Mel retorted, "And you knew I wasn't some fetishist wanting to be a sissy boy."

"True," the blonde replied, "but none of them compare to you. And none of them ever got to fuck me."

"I was hammered," Mel grunted irritatedly, "And you promised you'd never bring that up again."

"No, I promised I'd never make a pass at you again," The blonde chirped. "If you were to ever decide you love me like you ought to I'd certainly not refuse your attentions."

"You know I can't Monica," Mel said sadly. "You know I do love you but I can reconcile your work or your attitude towards sex with the feelings you claim to have toward me, especially know you keep tabs on me like a stray puppy. And even moreso especially knowing what I know now."

"Ah yes," The blonde called Monica sighed. "Your heart-spilling conversation with..... the ex......"

Monica had met Mel two years ago when she'd first arrived in BC. She was awkwardly dressed as a girl and clearly hadn't lived as one before, and was alone and ignored in a corner at Lick, watching the women dancing and trying to sink into the wall. Monica knew immediately what Mel was, minus the intersexed part, and felt a strange overwhelming need to help the shy creature become the woman she was but didn't know how to be.

She approached the girl in her general "I'm in charge" matter and asked her name. She then told Mel they were leaving to go for a coffee. Mel meekly complied.

Monica explained to Mel over coffee at Blenz who she was and what she did, but told Mel she saw the truth in her and wanted to train her how to be the woman inside. Mel was hesitant at first, but Monica was very persuasive, and soon Mel was in Monica's penthouse every afternoon, learning how to walk, eat, move, do her make-up properly, everything most girls learn growing up that Mel was robbed of.

Over the course of Mel's training Monica had fallen in love, and after a drunken night in bed together fucking so beautifully that only one other woman could compare, she told Mel so. She also told Mel the full truth of her occupation and her non-monogamous nature. Mel cried that morning, confessing she loved Monica too, but all that was too much for her and she left.

They still spoke every so often, but Mel clearly felt it best to limit contact. So Monica was surprised to receive a call from St. Paul's hospital asking to meet for lunch, and cursed how cruelly small the world could be when told it was about Lani.

"Alright then Dollface," Monica sighed. "Let's get this over with. Tell me what is is you need to know, and why you needed to hear it in person."

"I'm madly in love with her Monica," Mel said, "and I need to know if she's the real thing. She proposed to me last month after I finished a physio session. She wouldn't let me live in fear of her getting hurt being with me."

"You mean the same bullshit you fed me when you ran?" Monica spat. "I seem to recall telling you it was my risk to take. What's so special about her? Why does she get through and I don't?"

"You tell me," Mel retorted. "Because I know you and I don't for a minute believe the bullshit SHE fed ME about how you two hooked up but mutually decided your love had faded. So you tell me what happened between you two last year when she met you at Lick."

"Last year?" Monica blinked. "It was a week before her heart attack, there was no hook-up, and she told me there was someone else. The minute I saw her I told her I love her and she rebuffed me, just like you did."

"Excuse me?" Mel asked incredulously. "Then why would she tell me you fucked last year and realized the feelings were gone?"

"I don't know, maybe you should ask her," Monica hissed. "Look what do you want from me? Do you want my consent? My approval? Fine, rip out my heart with the other woman who ripped out my heart, I hope you're ecstatic together."

Monica got up to leave but Mel stopped her, not caring about the stares they were getting.

"Look sit down please?" she asked, squeezing Monica's hand. Monica melted in spite of her anger, missing that touch so badly.

"Alright, fine," Monica said. "There was a hook-up last year, and it was me who said my feelings had faded, because I didn't want to cost her that cushy accounting job. The dominatrix lesbian lover. God the scandal! She'd be ruined. Then a week before her heart attack she had her monthly lunch with me and told me she thought maybe, just maybe, she may have met someone, but after everything with me she was terrified to open up again. So I gave her my blessing. If I'd known she meant you I'd have kicked and screamed to have you both."

"I don't know that I could split my heart Monica," Mel said. "I don't know if Lani can. I wouldn't even know how to ask her. I just know I love her, and my reservations about your job haven't changed, but... I guess given what she told me about your highschool boyfriend I understand it better."

Monica was about to say something but froze. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she stared at the table. Mel was confused until she looked in the direction Monica had looked and saw what made her freeze.

Lani was sitting quietly at the next table, watching them.

"Small world indeed," Lani said softly, a deeply hurt look on her face as she got up from her seat and joined them.

"How?" Monica stuttered, while Mel just sat there with her mouth agape.

"I called your secretary this morning to confirm our lunch date for tomorrow," Lani said, holding both their hands. "When she said you were on your way to a lunch date with Ms. Sobreviviente I grilled her for info and beat you here. I've been hiding behind a menu listening. To both of you."

"Lani, I..." Mel stammered, confused.

Lani shushed her, and told them both to get their coats. Both stunned, they complied and she lead them to Trout Lake in her car, where she had set up a picnic. She had obviously rushed to plan this, but for what she wanted to say, surprising them in the restaurant wouldn't be nearly enough.

***

Monica drove Mel, reluctantly, afraid of what Lani planned to tell them. Monica disliked this feeling immensely. She hadn't felt fear since high school, and she'd hated it then. She had always hated how the fear of getting caught had weighed on her whenever she and Lani were together. She hated fear. It had ruined more than one perfectly good orgasm. She thought she had completely eradicated it from her cool, controlled life.

Until now. As long as she had wanted both Mel and Lani, she was now utterly terrified of forever losing them both.

She knew in no uncertain terms how much Lani loved Melanie, and it had been so long since even their last tryst, let alone since they were an item, that she was utterly convinced this picnic at Trout Lake was going to consist of an awkwardly uncomfortable lunch followed by Lani convincing Mel to marry her and she herself being asked to be the Maid Of Honor. She choked back tears at what she was sure was going to occur, refusing to let Mel see her vulnerable.

Mel's thoughts were similar. As she curled up nervously in the passenger seat of Monica's silver 07 Lexus, she was going over in her own mind what she expected to happen that day.

She was utterly convinced that her constantly pushing Lani away had succeeded, and that she was the catalyst of Lani and Monica's long awaited reunion. She thought she was going to get a polite brush-off. It was for the best after all, she was a freak, and Lani would have seen that eventually. Better to get the shaft now before it was too late.

They rode in silence, stealing glances at each other. Both of them were trying not to allow themselves to think of the third possibility. The idea of them just saying to hell with Lani and running away together. Neither would give that thought much credence though, They both loved Lani too much.

As Lani parked and walked off towards the small bushy area on the northern side without them, expecting them to follow, they both felt their heart in their throat, their nervousness only growing. They followed, trying to keep up as best as they could with Mel's gait slowed by her cane. When they did catch up Lani was sitting on a blanket on the secluded unused dock, watching the water. Before either could speak, without even turning around, she spoke.

"Sit down," she said. "Both of you."

They complied. Lani turned to face them and handed out sandwiches, each getting their favorite.

"You're both insufferable bitches I hope you know," she began. They both moved to protest but she shushed them. "I mean that in the nicest terms. You both drive me completely insane."

She turned to Monica first.

"You keep dancing around your real feelings, telling me we should be together again but never saying why, never telling me why you feel that way, as if it's just a given. You're so goddamn desperate to be always in control of every possible situation that you never allowed for the idea of letting me fall for you all over again, courting each other, learning each other again. You demand everything be now now now. And you."

She turned to Mel, who just stared at her sandwich.

"You act like you're the goddamned Elephant Man just because you have a little extra flesh in your panties, and act like you're getting frustrated by my inability to recoil in horror and scream 'Aiiiiieeeee!!!' like a 30's Hollywood victim starlet. It frustrates me that nothing I ever do gets through to you. I know you have a cock, I don't fucking care! I love you no matter what, I want to be with you, period."

She shook visibly for a moment. She had to catch her breath.

"Look," she said, collecting her thoughts, "I love you. Both of you. Dearly. And part of me wants to just have you both. I've read about it online, it's called Polyamoury. Some people can genuinely be in love with more than just one person. I know each of you are in love with both each other and me, just as I'm in love with both of you. The three of us could be a communal marriage of sorts, all together, all happy, fuck what anyone else thinks.

Both Monica and Mel looked at each other stunned, and moved to hug Lani, but she stopped them, and after taking a deep breath, she continued.

"But I'm not asking for that," she said, almost coldly. "I'm tired. I hurt. It's been a miserable year and I'm tired. I nearly died. My best friend killed herself. One of the women I love was almost beaten to death because she ran away from me out to a bunch of homophobic assholes. And my great high-school heartbreak is in love with her and never bothered telling me. The truth is I'm fucking tired of you both, and I'm leaving. I've asked Gerald for indefinite leave and I'm going away for awhile. When I get back, if you've both gotten your damn shit together, maybe we'll talk. But this," she opened her shirt to remind them of the heart surgery, the large ugly scar impossible to miss, "this says I don't need this stress."

With that, she kissed them both and left, returning to her car and driving directly to the airport. She had not told anyone but her mother where she was going, and had no intention of contacting anyone. Mel and Monica just sat there, stunned, and after it finally sunk in through the shock, they both burst into tears, collapsing into each other's arms, realizing just how badly they had both fucked up. After a moment they gathered themselves up and shook off the crying fit, they hurried to Monica's car and drove to Lani's apartment, thinking she'd be there packing, hoping to talk her out of it, to profess their love and promise to change. When they realized, too late, that Lani was already gone, they just sat on her couch, crying, holding each other into the night.

Lani looked at through the airplane window into the night sky as her two true loves cried together miles below, sighing, wondering for a moment if she had done the right thing, but the pain in her heart shook away her doubts. All she could do was hope either they were waiting whenever she returned, or that they just gave in and found love with each other. At this moment, she no longer cared which. She took one last look at the picture in her hand before trying to get some sleep.

The picture of Gina had a bright happy smile. It was what Lani wanted on her eyes as she fell asleep.

Maybe she could dream none of this ever happened.

*** Last Month ***

"I'm..... not saying I'm..... opposed to the idea," said Betty reluctantly, "but... it is going to take me some time to get used to."

"Melanie squeezed Betty's hand, while Monica stared quietly at her alfredo. She was exceptionally uncomfortable sitting at the restaurant having lunch with Lani's mother, knowing how the woman hated her. She and Mel had finally decided to fill Meddling Betty in on everything. It took an hour but they finally finished catching her up.

"So..." Betty began, "you never had any plan to humiliate Lani in school."

"No Ma'am," Monica said, with uncharacteristic meekness.

"And.... you still love her."

Monica just nodded.

"And you also love Melanie, and Melanie loves you both, and.... when Lani comes home.... you both plan to apologize profusely to her, and beg her to take you both back.... and..... you want.... ME.... to help you."

Melanie nodded. Betty took a few minutes to finish her spaghetti bolognaise, thinking.

"Well," she said, "I can't say I'm not angry that you lied about loving my daughter in high school, even if to protect her. And I'm not happy you both drove her out of the damn country with all this soap opera nonsense, but.... I can see you both truly want to make her happy and have figured out how not to be complete idiots."

Melanie frowned and punched the table. Betty and Monica both jumped in surprise.

"Excuse me Betty but we were not idiots," she snapped. "We were human. We made mistakes. It happens. And we both have very good reasons for how we've been as adults."

"But-" Betty tried to interrupt. Melanie shushed her. Monica just squirmed uncomfortably in her seat, eating her alfredo.

"BUT NOTHING!" Melanie said loudly, before calming herself. She took a moment to collect herself and continued.

"First of all, Monica was very scarred by the high school incident," Mel began. "She gave up her college hopes to protect your daughter. She developed a crushing fear of not being in control of her own life anymore. She's lead an exceptionally lonely life keeping people at arm's length for fear of losing the control she's worked so hard to build. She let her life nearly be destroyed to protect Lani from things being far worse after that dance. And she's made a living out of playing the bad guy ever since, at the expense of her own life being empty. All her human contact has been paid clientele, while her bed and home have stayed painfully empty, all so she never had to be afraid again."

Monica just sighed. In the past month all that carefully constructed control had dissolved. She left her assistant in charge of her BDSM Escort Agency. She was in no shape to take a client. All she could think about since Trout lake was how badly she'd screwed up. All she could do when Betty looked at her now was nod sheepishly, unable to make eye contact with the woman who hated her guts for years.