The Redemption of Benjamin

All characters are over 18. YADAYADA, you know the drill, thanks for reading my 30th story, yay!

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Benji and I studied Computer Engineering at the UFRJ (Federal University of Rio de Janeiro), and on every day of class, he always found reasons to be a disgusting bigot. I hated his guts. My hate was even more personal because I almost became his friend at first, before he showed his true colors. He seemed a chill guy, very beautiful, impressive height, olive skin, tanned. When he smiled, all his beauty seemed to grow tenfold. As a gay dude who barely turned eighteen and had almost no experience, he was the most dangerous temptation to be around.

When the first 'fag' came out of his mouth, we parted ways. Since then, there has been some animosity between us in the form of heated arguments in class. I hadn't come out of the closet yet, so it was always difficult to come in defense of 'homos'.

"You're the kind of guy who picks and chooses your science," I spat at him once after he had just been transphobic. "Gender dysphoria is a proven fact."

"A few dubious articles from people who call themselves scientists do not prove anything." A lot of nods from other people in class, which disheartened me.

"Hugo is correct," the professor came to my defense. "Gender dysphoria is a known scientifically proven dysphoria, it has been studied by hundreds of psychiatrists and neurologists."

I looked triumphant at all the bigots, a smile on my face.

Benji and his circle ignored me. He sat with his girlfriend and his two friends. I ignored his existence as well, expecting a whole day of glorious catharsis from being validated by the professor and imagining how Benji must have been furious that the Calculus professor wasn't on his upper-class assface's side. Unfortunately, the calculus teacher wasn't on my side either, because at the end of that class he decided that Benji and I should be a duo for a presentation. I made the mistake of complaining.

"Are you a toddler who can't put aside your childish fights?" he asked. I thought he was being unfair, but he didn't know I was gay and my dislike of Benji went to my very core because he was a homophobic. "Benjamin, do you have a problem?"

"No sir. I'm good," replied the bigot. I turned to him, and the smirk churned my insides with rage.

The class was dismissed. I kept quiet and left with a few friends to the library. I was complaining all the way about the unfairness of what had just happened.

Suddenly, someone was calling my name. It was Benji. He came up to me and asked if we could talk about the project. Stunned, I nodded. I didn't expect him to approach me at all, especially in a civilized manner as if we had no bad feelings.

"You seemed surprised that the professor placed us together," he said.

"You weren't?"

"Course not, we are the best in class. Let's put aside our disagreements, alright? If you're going to the library, can I join? We could start planning right now."

I nodded again, still confused. Did he just admit I was one of the best in class?

In the library, we found some books, and began reading in silence. As we discussed mathematical theories and subjects, I was forced to recall that when he wasn't spewing bigotry through those lips, he sounded really bright.

We met every day for two weeks, sometimes in the library, or by the shade of a tree upon the campus' green grass, occasionally even at each other's houses; always just the two of us, talking about our college project, until, suddenly, we were laughing together. We laughed a lot during those days. We were growing...closer again, like our friendship had just been sleeping through the winter and now it was spring, and the sunlight was his smile.

Suddenly, he was no longer the bigot in my class, but a thoughtful and interesting classmate who grew up in a problematic environment. I met his dad, and there I laid all the blame.

As the weeks went by, Benji began sitting next to me in class, much to everyone's surprise. He was still an idiot, but a much easier idiot to deal with. He made homophobic comments that made me uncomfortable, but now I was unable to speak up. I felt conflicted, like a betrayer. Slowly, he invaded me, invaded my thoughts and my values. His girlfriend must have unconsciously noticed something about me, as she never liked me, but Benji put her aside for me.

I was even invited to go to the beach with his buddies. He was a regular beach-goer, as one could obviously tell by his looks. Sun and Sundays were essential in his life. I accepted, though a little hesitant because I knew I would have to endure a lot of Benji in speedo playing Foot-volley. He wanted to pair up with me, because according to him we were "inseparable". I must have blushed in front of everyone. His other buddies pretended to like me and I them, but they expressed their dislike through their less than friendly game tactics.

One of the most infuriating things about Benji was his disregard for other people's comfortableness. Well, my comfortableness. He liked sex, to talk about sex, and to show off his sexiness whenever he could. This included not being one iota ashamed of his body. When he saw a hot girl, he would stare and, if one looked, one would see his speedos get very tight with the sudden growth in volume...

On one of those occasions, I couldn't help but stare. He left me no choice, standing right in front of me, looking sideways at a chick with a big ass, hands on his hips. There were just the two of us that day, no annoying buddies or girlfriend. He was wearing a black speedo. The hair around his crotch was wet, some sand sticking on. I watched him touch his balls, position his dick into a better position. My heart pounded. I even got a little dizzy, as my own body reacted, blood rushing down.

Fuck, he was hot.

When he offered to go into the water, I agreed right away, at least in there I would be able to hide better. Things cooled off and we began to laugh again, talking about everything. I mentioned his ex, Eloíse. She had been the girlfriend when I began to befriend him the last time, but now it was Gabrielle. He shrugged the subject off. I sensed he didn't want to talk about it, so I didn't press him.

In the shallows, we sat almost submerged. Our knees were touching. He didn't mind so neither did I.

"I missed this, dude," he let out. My whole body trembled and warmed as I realized what he was talking about before, those early days when our friendship was just beginning, before I removed myself from his life.

"Yeah, man. Me too."

That moment is still special to me. Too bad it had to be followed by an awful one.

We went back to the beach, and as we were about to leave, a boy passed us, probably our age, skinny and dark. He was very feminine. I thought he was very cute and I smiled at him, who smiled back. But Benji spat on him. The boy walked away quickly, horror in his face, but a lot of fear too.

"You see that? He smiled at you. Fucking disgusting." Benji was a little flustered, almost as if he was ashamed too. But my shame was probably bigger, it went right into my very core, tearing apart a bit of my self-esteem cause I realized how much of a coward I was that I didn't stand up to such bigotry. No, I was an accomplice.

I almost refused to get into his car. I didn't want to look at him. He insisted. He definitely noticed my mood shift and didn't try to talk to me. The silence was a heavy one, until he asked if I wanted to spend the night at his house, practicing for the project. The date of the presentation was coming up. I refused.

"Hugo, come on, bro."

"Nah, man, just take me home."

"I'm sorry, alright?" he said.

I looked at him.

"Are you?"

"Yeah. I know you and I disagree on some stuff. I don't know what came over me. I don't do that kind of stuff, I don't spit on people. I promise I am sorry and I will never do it again."

It was weird how I was eager to believe him. Something in his eyes told me he was sincere.

"Okay," I said, nodding. He smiled.

"My house?" he said.

"Yeah."

"Parents are away, so we have the house to ourselves."

Benji lent me some clothes that I could use. I was actually bigger, so he said they were going to be a bit tight. I took a shower in his bedroom's bathroom, while he used the main bathroom. When I came out, Benji was there, naked, his back to me.

I had the incredible view of white buttcheeks, contrasting the dark skin caused by the sun, delineated by clear lines. He said, nonchalantly, that he was looking for underwear for me. He wasn't going to give me an old one. Of course not. He went down on his knees. The buttcheeks parted slightly to give me a view of his butthole, while his soft cock dangled, half-hard. He seemed to be constantly half-hard. Speaking of hard.

He turned, saw me looking and wasn't alarmed. I was his buddy, he had nothing to fear from me. Dudes didn't worry about such things. He handed me white boxers. I felt guilty looking at his cock, which swayed as he walked. It was the first time I saw him completely naked, and only then did I appreciate how beautiful he was. He put on some tight underwear and asked me to go to the kitchen to eat. Apparently he wasn't planning on wearing anything else.

He kept complaining about the tightness of his underwear, and apologizing because I was obviously bigger than him and it must be harder for me. He had no idea. Thankfully he began to talk about sex, which he was obsessed about, and at least it gave us reason to be both bearing hard-ons to tear us apart. I joined him. Talking about girls wasn't a problem, it was one of the things I learned very quickly to better hide my true self. I indulged Benji until he was almost begging to take his underwear off. He kept squeezing himself, sighing, laughing. We laughed a lot. Deep down I knew I was treading on some very thin lines.

After a very unhealthy dinner, we went back to his room, laughing our asses off from the hardest erections we both had.

"Fuck this," he said, already taking it off, showing his bare front. He waited a little for my reaction. I did the same thing. He seemed to approve with a nod and flat out asked, "Wanna jerk off?"

"Sure," I said.

"Come to bed," he said. Then he put a video on the TV. The bed smelled like him. We sat next to each other. Benji chuckled. "Fuck, I'm glad you're this chill, dude."

"You too," I said.

"Yeah, we're just two bros."

"Exactly."

"I didn't want to weird you out or anything," he said.

"Don't worry. We're just bros. I get it."

We jerked off silently. If I concentrated on blocking out the sound of the video, I could hear the meaty sound of his hand sliding up and down on the shaft, his small grunts, and the way his nails would run up his legs. He seemed to be on fire from within, and the whole experience almost drove me insane with heat.

Benji got hold of my dick. It happened suddenly. In one moment I was the one beating my own meat, then he was there, taking control and pushing my hand aside. I didn't look at him, just relaxed under his touch, putting my hands behind my head, laying back. "Fuck, Benji!" I said, unable to stop myself.

"I'm cumming," he said in a moaning voice. His moans pushed me to the edge and I let go completely, shooting far and wide.

We looked at each other and laughed. As we cleaned ourselves, there was a silent agreement to not comment on what had just happened. But I couldn't forget. Benji had jerked me off. His hand had been on my cock. He made me cum. I was the happiest guy in the world. And he didn't and couldn't know about it.

We decided to do what we actually planned to do, which was study, and went down to the living room. After a while, Benji sighed.

"I'm glad you're not being a little bitch about it," he said.

"I feel you."

"Like, it's nice to let some steam off with your bro."

"Uhu. Yeah." I nodded.

"Wanna do it again?"

I paused, looked at him. "Here?"

"Why not? There's a big TV here as well."

Why not? I thought.

This time, Benji not only jerked me off, I got to milk him out too. It took longer, so by the end, we were both sweaty and out of breath. My hand was tired from the movement, and Benji's thick cock was pulsing red.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Fuck yeah."

He smiled. That smile meant the beginning of something interesting. I couldn't understand why he could do those things with me and still be such an asshole. I strictly avoided any topic that would showcase his bigotry because it was too much for me to handle, and I didn't want to let go of the nice perks of being his buddy. Shit, but that same day, he asked me to sleep in the same bed, and I ended up receiving another handjob. He laughed as he made me cum. We didn't have many opportunities to keep doing that during the following days, but whenever his parents were away, I was the one he called.

The day of our presentation arrived swiftly, and passed by just as swiftly. The reason we got together and reawakened a bond. So much had changed because of it. Benji and I were the last ones to speak, and by the end, there was a lot of applause and positive feedback from the professor.

For a moment I worried that things were going to go back to the way it was before. Stupid anxiety. It couldn't be more wrong.

We spent so much time together that Benji's previous friend group had to approach me to get to him. They behaved way nicer. Gabi showed a little more warmth towards me, which honestly made me feel bad and I would rather she was a bitch. The way I felt about her boyfriend would make her want to kill me anyway.

I found out that Benji was jealous of my own friends. Whenever I tried to spend time with them in college, he would try to steer me away. It was annoying, a little frustrating, and honestly a bit of a red flag. It shouldn't make me feel all special, but it did. I was happy, immersed in his charm and in the joy of knowing that he was jealous of me.

The worst was having to juggle my growing affection for Benji as a dear friend, and my arousal of thinking of him as a piece of meat I just wanted to bite.

Gabi helped me a bit. She definitely shifted her opinion of me, and I began to be sincerely welcomed by her. I could tell Benji liked her. I wanted to be their friend, and focusing on that helped me make the right choice, which was to remove myself from their lives slowly, without making things difficult. I could still be a friend from far away.

I refused a few invitations to party with Benji and his friends, but not all so as to not make it obvious what I was trying to do. It was hard. I had feelings for him, strong feelings. I couldn't take him out of my head. His presence was felt deeply, which only proved me correct. What had I been thinking in allowing this to go as far as it did?

On the day after the tenth of October, after a very important holiday, celebrating a local saint from the Catholic Church, Benji and his family went to their private beach house and invited many friends to join them. He was disappointed that I refused this so vehemently. However, I was adamant. I would not spend a holiday with his father, his girlfriend and some of his suckup friends.

Instead I chose to have a day on the beach to myself, surfing, enjoying some alone time. Definitely not thinking about Benji. I refused to bring my phone, so when I went home later and checked it, I faced a barrage of messages and missed calls. He mainly just wanted to hear from me, it seemed like, though the amount of messages were a little worrying. I couldn't help but smile at the needy straight boy looking for his bro. Gosh, I missed him so much.

I called him. Benji picked up fast.

"Benji? What's up, man?"

"Dude, what the fuck?" he said.

"Sorry, I was at the beach and forgot my phone."

"The beach? I thought you didn't want to go to the beach."

"No, I didn't want to be around so many people."

"Bullshit. You're..." he stopped, and I heard some ruffling on his end. His voice got lower. "You're avoiding me. Be honest."

"I'm not," I lied.

"Does it have anything to do with..."

"Benji! I'm not avoiding you. You didn't do anything wrong. Hear me? In fact, I kind of want to...you know, have some bro time with you. It's been a while."

"Shit, man. Fuck, me too, dude. You should've come, you know? We could've slipped out."

Both our voices were hushed. I cleared my throat.

"Nah, too dangerous. You're with your dad and your girl. You know how these things can get misinterpreted. We know we're not doing anything wrong, but they would think otherwise, if they ever found out."

He was silent. "You're right."

"We good?" I asked.

"Miss you, bro."

"Miss you too. See you soon."

My chest was getting bombarded by my own heart. I yearned for Benji. I couldn't believe I was so damn wrapped up on his little finger. He could destroy me on a whim.

I arrived at college the next day determined to be more...straight. However, as soon as I walked into the classroom and saw Benji keeping a seat for me, I melted.

As much as I searched for some clue as to what he was feeling, I only found confusion in his eyes.

"Hey," I said, nervous. "Everything okay?"

"Don't know," he said. "Broke up. With Gabi."

"Shit, I'm sorry." I was. "Why?"

He shrugged. "We had a fight. She said I wasn't paying attention to her anymore. She broke up with me, to be more exact. Fuck, this sucks."

I nodded and kept my mouth shut. After the first period, he asked me if I wanted to miss the rest of the class and go get drunk somewhere. I didn't want to leave him alone, so I agreed. He drove us to the beach, to a nice comfy bar with live performers and samba.

"I think she's fucking Ric," he told me.

"Dude, don't be insane," I said.

"I'm telling you."

I shook my head. Benji began to drink as he explained why he thought his ex-girlfriend was fucking half the guys in Rio. This one didn't take lightly to rejection.

"Bro, maybe you weren't giving her attention, you know."

Benji stared angrily at me. I thought he was going to burst out. Then he nodded and calmed down.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Benji stared at my empty cup. "You let me drink by myself because you want to drive my car, don't you?"

"You're not about to drive under influence. Not on my watch," I said, smiling. Benji chuckled. "Fine. You wanna go? We can go to my place. My parents are still away, so we have the house to ourselves."

Our eyes met. There was a little kindling fire.

"Let's go," I said.

When we reached his bedroom, I pushed him aside and jumped on the bed, taking every bit of space to myself. He loomed over me, faking outrage.

"What the hell?" he said.

I smiled.

"I'm so sleepy."

"Nah, you promised."

"I promised what?"

"Bro time." Benji seemed to be a little flushed.

"I did no such thing."

"You did. On the phone."

"Oh well, I don't recall."

"I do."

"Let's sleep first," I said.

"You can sleep if you want. It won't stop me."

I laughed. "Fuck, you're a damn freak. Are you going to take advantage of a sleeping brother?"

Benji was smiling. "Test me."

Benji started to take off his clothes. When he stripped down to his underwear, I stared, a little awestruck.

Before he could catch me, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. He laughed and began to pull on my shorts. I tried to keep it up, so we struggled together, laughing.

He managed to take it off. Next was my underwear. It was easier to take that off. I barely struggled. My cock was hard. I turned around to hide it, but that exposed my ass. I got a slap.

Furious, I turned and pulled him down, my cock rubbing his belly as I tried to pin him.

"Fuck, you're strong..." he said.

"You like it?" I whispered. He gave a slight chuckle. I wondered if I pushed too far, but he nodded.