All Comments on 'The Rent Agreement Ch. 01'
by LapisLit
- 27 Comments
Gortmundyabout 1 month agoMad as a box of frogs, but still a great read. Thoroughly enjoyable and I very much look forward to the next chapter. Many thanks.
Anonymousabout 1 month agoWhat a great start and a great first story. 5* and look forward to the next part.
JairBrasilabout 1 month agoexcellent story, very sexy, looking forward to new chapters with lots of details
JairBrasilabout 1 month agoI had to read your story twice and both times I was very horny, continue urgently but without losing focus
Anonymousabout 1 month agoWonderful story, one of the best I've ever read. Please go ahead with the next chapter, PLEASE!
bisklave69about 1 month agoUnbedingt fortsetzen!!!!! Ich hoffe nur dein "ich schreibe manchmal" lässt uns nicht allzu lange auf den nächsten Teil warten.... 5 Sterne für den guten Anfang....
Anonymousabout 1 month agoWe would all like to see a continuation of this please! Chapter 2 would be awesome!
Badboy1616about 1 month agoAMAZING STORY!!!! This had me hard and horny from the beginning. Please keep going with this series. I’m definitely waiting for the next chapter! Great writing and setup!!!
The_shadow_risingabout 1 month agoAn interesting beginning to a series, thank you for this. It is very well written, enjoyable, and has the potential to be a good series. The subject matter is something of a personal favourite of mine. If there was anything I could suggest, as one author to another, it would be to ask if there could be a description of the characters a little more in the next story. I couldn't envisage the girlfriend as well without knowing small details like her hair colour/length, or even a vague/short description of her body/shape/attractiveness, and so on. Similarly the comparison with the boyfriend and roommate wasn't as clear as it could be, because we knew the latter was a fine specimen but we had nothing to compare him to with the boyfriend. If you left descriptions out as a stylistic choice, I respect that and forget this comment. But if you were to add them it would greatly help with imagination. But as I said, a good start and interesting read. Keep it up!
RedLegoDragon30 days agoThank for this insanely fun story! I look forward to seeing where this goes between Ethan and Leah...
Though I'm a little sad you didn't describe the appearances of your characters, I understand if you want to leave all that to our imagination ;)
Anonymous29 days agoNice work, but perhaps give us some idea of what Leah looks like: hair color, height, body type, etc. Always good to have a visual in mind :)
vzb29 days agoExcellent work! It's well-written, and I love the premise. That slow, losing battle where the character's head wants one thing but her body overrules her -- delicious.
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On the question of character descriptions: I don't think it's all that important to give specific physical characteristics (like, should-length strawberry-blonde hair, 36C breasts, etc.). You certainly can if you want, but the reader is capable of filling in those details himself with whatever he or she likes.
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But what I think would help is fuzzier, more abstract character descriptions that imply something about what kind of *person* someone is, rather than just what kind of body they have. For instance: is Leah athletic, nerdy, glammed-up, kinda plain, etc.? Does she dress sexy, or is she a jeans & hoodies kinda gal? Sorority girl, bookworm, something else entirely? Outgoing & confident? Shy & awkward? Did she grow up religious? With money? Is she a top student or is she just going through the motions to get her degree? For that matter, what is she studying? (A Chemistry major feels different from Business feels different from French Poetry.) Etc. etc. etc.
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Obviously you don't have to answer every one of these questions. My point is just that this is a story about a woman being worn down and ultimately surrendering herself to a jerk because she's overcome by lust -- it really adds something (to me at least) if we know exactly what kind of person it is who's being overcome.
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Anyway, food for thought. Outstanding first story - please write more.
Sarahlovesto6929 days agoThis is exactly the kind of story I would write - and you did amazing!! Can’t wait for part 2 :)
Anonymous24 days agoInteresting premise.
Really all buildup for what presumably will follow.
Could have used some dialog during the masturbating events.
What does she think of/visualize when she's masturbating? Is it her doing things to someone else or things being done to her?
Does she like having he pussy eaten? Does she like giving blowjobs? Does she swallow? Does she enjoy swallowing?
Three stars.
