The Retreat - The Conclusion

When this was all settled, and it would be settled, she would have to have a serious talk with Nick about his communication skills. She had absolutely no intention of going through life with ridiculous misunderstandings between the two of them. In the future, Nick would have to learn to talk about things instead of storming off or losing his temper.

She thought about all he had done to her the previous night. Even in his anger, he had ultimately brought her the most amazing pleasure. If it hadn't been for him being furious at her, she might have thoroughly enjoyed everything he had done. Well, maybe not everything. She hadn't really enjoyed having her clit nearly ripped off.

But being tied up, gagged, and fucked to within an inch of her life? That had been some of the most amazing sex she had ever had. In fact, it would have been perfect if Nick had been doing it out of love rather than anger.

His fury had been terrifying, and yet through it all, she had trusted him somehow. She had trusted that he would actually stop if she had snapped her fingers. She was gratified to know that her trust had been warranted. He could have beaten the hell out of her. He could have killed her. But she had somehow known that he wouldn't.

Instead, he had left her with a sore body, a bruised heart, and a steely determination to track his ass down and resolve things so that they could start fresh. Now that she knew what had happened between them, she was anxious to correct his misconceptions and put them behind them forever.

She soaked until the water began to cool. Then, she drained the tub, rinsed off in the shower, and washed her hair. She dried off with a fluffy towel and wrapped it around her body.

As she dried her hair, she thought about what she would say to Nick. She rehearsed her speech as she dressed and applied her makeup. It did little to improve her appearance. She still looked haggard and haunted. She was in desperate need of rest, but she wouldn't be able to find any rest until she cleared the air with Nick.

She drank a cup of coffee and was ready to walk out the door when it hit her. She had absolutely no idea how to reach Nick. She didn't have his address or phone number.

She gave a frustrated shriek, snatched her purse, and went to the hospital. She was pleasantly surprised to find not only her sister's entire family there, but her mom and Cameron. They had finally gotten back from their honeymoon and had come to visit her sister.

Laurie took one look at her pale face and the dark circles under her eyes and frowned. She crossed quickly to Jess and hugged her tightly.

"What's the matter, Jess? What's happened?"

Jess blinked back tears, seeing everyone's concerned gazes focused on her. She took a deep breath and sighed.

"I'm alright, Mom."

"No you aren't." Sensing that Jess didn't want to talk in front of everyone, Laurie began tugging her toward the door. "Let's step outside, and you can tell me all about it."

Jess surprised her when she looked at Cameron. "Would you come too? I need your help."

The three of them found a quiet lounge where they were unlikely to be disturbed and sank into chairs. Jess took a deep breath and looked up at their expectant faces.

She told them an abbreviated version of all the events that had transpired between her and Nick, all the way back to their college days. They listened quietly, only asking an occasional question. She left out the private bits and what Nick had said and done to hurt her. She just told them that she and Nick had fought about what he thought she had done and that Nick had left before she could explain. Cameron was furious with his son.

"I'm going to wring his fool neck," Cameron muttered.

Jess laid a soothing hand on his arm and smiled at him. "No you aren't. This is between Nick and me." She looked down at her lap and smiled softly. "You should know that, even when Nick was furious and could have really injured me, he didn't. In fact, some of this is my fault."

Laurie gave her a confused frown. "What do you mean, Jess?"

Jess sighed. "When I first met Nick, he tried to get to know me. I used to tease him by not really telling him much about myself. It became a game. He asked me about my family a few times, but I never gave him any details. If I had told him I had a twin sister, this whole stupid mess could have been avoided."

Cameron was shaking his head. "There's no way you could have predicted what would happen, Jess."

"I know. But I still have to accept some of the blame. It's no wonder Nick reacted the way he did when he saw what he thought he saw."

Her voice trailed off, and her eyes filled with unshed tears. Laurie and Cameron were both watching her closely. She reached over and took both of their hands and gave them a squeeze. She managed a watery smile.

"I really am fine. I promise."

They exchanged a glance and then they nodded their agreement. Cameron cleared his throat.

"You mentioned you need my help. What can I do?"

"I don't know how to reach Nick. I have to confront him and work things out, once and for all."

Cameron raised his brows and looked introspective. "Now that you've told me this, I finally understand the email Nick sent me this morning."

"Email?"

Both Jess and Laurie had spoken in unison, and Cameron nodded. "Nick never takes vacations. I mean never. In fact, getting him to come to the cabin last week was a miracle. I was shocked to get an email from him early this morning that said he was taking some time off. He didn't say where he was going or when he would be back. He just said he would be in touch when he returned."

Jess rose and went to look out a nearby window. She was beyond frustrated. Her rosy future with Nick seemed to be always just beyond her grasp. She finally heaved a resigned sigh and turned back to face them.

"Fine. Apparently, there's nothing I can do but wait. But when Nick does contact you, promise that you won't say anything to him about what I've told you and that you'll contact me right away."

Cameron stood and hugged Jess, dropping a kiss onto the top of her head. "You have my word, sweetheart. I'll let you know just as soon as I hear from Nick. And if he gives you any more trouble, let me know, and I will straighten him out for you."

Jess hugged him back and laughed. "I'm sure I can handle him, but I'll keep that in mind."

Her mother joined them, and they enjoyed a group hug. Jess couldn't help from shedding a few tears, and Cameron handed her a box of tissues. Jess took one and laughed as she wiped her eyes. She smiled up at him.

"You know, I've really missed my Dad these past couple of years. I'm glad my mom met you and that you're so happy together. I already love you, Cameron. Welcome to the family."

He flushed with pleasure and squeezed Jess around the waist. "I love you too, kiddo. Even before we met, your mom had told me so much about you and your sister. And from what she told me, Nick better watch out. He's got a real firecracker on his hands."

"Yes he does. And when I find him, he's going to know it too."

*****

Four days later, Nick sat at his desk. He was staring out the window, completely unable to concentrate on anything. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He was like the walking dead. He had been like this ever since the night he left Jess.

When he left her apartment, he went home and packed a bag. He sent a quick note to his dad so he wouldn't worry, and then Nick had hopped the first flight he could catch. He wasn't particular about the destination. He just wanted to get as far away as possible.

He had ended up in the Bahamas. He intended to stay gone for at least a week, maybe two. He wanted to drink himself into a stupor and forget that Jessica Drummond had ever existed.

Of course, his plan had failed miserably. He had managed to drink himself unconscious the first night, but Jess had merely followed him into his alcohol induced coma. He had dreamed of her...every expression on her beautiful face...every curve of her lush body...every sweet taste and smell...he could almost feel her there with him in the room.

He had woken up with the mother of all hangovers. He had spent the next two days trying to recover. And the memories had continued to pound his heart into hamburger meat.

By the fourth day, he had decided to come back to work. Maybe by throwing himself into his normal routine, especially with the backlog brought on by his recent absence, he might be able to forget about Jess. At least for a few minutes. Hell, he would settle for even ten seconds without thinking of her.

But work hadn't distracted him either. He couldn't concentrate on anything. The pages just swam before his eyes, and he couldn't make sense out of them. He kept trying, because he was determined not to think about Jess. He heaved a defeated sigh. He hadn't accomplished anything in the past four hours.

Instead, he sat here, among familiar surroundings and familiar people, and he couldn't do anything but think about Jess. He didn't know who he was anymore. He couldn't keep a single thought in his head other than the ones about her. He felt like he was losing his mind.

He heard a brief commotion outside his office, and then the door was flung open. Jess stormed through the door, and his breath locked in his chest.

"Nick, I'm so sorry," his assistant said in a breathless rush. "I tried to tell her that she would need an appointment to see you, but she just barged in. Should I call security?"

Nick's eyes were trained on Jess, and his voice came out surprisingly normal. Especially given that he felt like someone had just kicked him in the balls.

"No Tiffany, that's fine. Please see that we aren't disturbed."

Nick waited while his assistant shot one last glare at Jess and then closed the door with a definite click. He assessed her with a critical eye. She looked tired, despite her stylish clothes and flawless hair and makeup. Had she been having as much trouble sleeping as he had? He hated himself for even caring. He hated her for making him care.

He noticed that she had a silk scarf tied around her throat. It was one of the ones he had used to tie her up a few nights ago. All the memories of that night washed over him, and he narrowed his eyes to angry slits.

"What the fuck do you want?" he growled.

Jess merely raised one brow and crossed her arms. "What I want is an apology. In fact, you also owe an apology to my brother-in-law and my sister, even though they don't know what an idiot you've been. While you're at it, you should also apologize to your dad. He's ready to wring your crazy fool neck."

Nick leaned back in his chair and glared at her. "Whatever you came here to say, just say it and get out. I've got work to do."

Jess tossed her purse into a nearby chair and leaned over his desk. She pinned him with a steely eyed glare of her own.

"You know, Nick, I've always wondered what happened between us. For ten long years, I've wondered. And all this time, I thought that you dumped me because I couldn't give a decent blow job." She snorted and shook her head. "It wasn't until the other night that I finally understood. If you had just had the courage to talk to me back then, like any normal person, you could have saved us both a lot of misery."

He scowled at her. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Let me see if I have this right. You think that back in college I lied to you. You think that the whole time I was dating you and telling you I was a virgin and telling you that I loved you, I was fucking Steve Peterson, who is now my brother-in-law. And you think all of that because you supposedly saw he and I making out at a frat party on campus one night. Is that right?"

Nick scowled at her. "I didn't supposedly see you, I saw you! And I saw you with him again the night your sister had her baby. You were kissing him and telling him that you loved him right there in the hall, for fuck's sake. You must not even care about your sister to betray her like that."

Jess shook her head and reached down to dig her phone out of her purse. She flicked on the screen and scrolled through her photos. When she reached the one she was looking for, she held it out to him.

"No, Nick. You've got it all wrong. You didn't see me with Steve at a frat party. You saw my twin sister Justine. She and Steve were high school sweethearts. Steve was my best friend but never my boyfriend. In fact, he met Justine through me. And I was thrilled that they found happiness together, because I love them both so much."

Jess watched Nick's face as he glanced at the photo on her phone. His features went slack, and she felt a momentary twinge of satisfaction from his stunned confusion. She continued on with relish, her voice sounding like she was talking to a slow witted child.

"I kissed Steve and told him I loved him because he's like my brother. I would never, repeat never betray my sister. And I never betrayed you either, Nick. I've never been that kind of person, and I never will be. And the fact that you thought otherwise hurts deeply."

Nick stared down at a photo of Jess and her sister. He was stunned. In the picture, they were both laughing with their faces pressed side by side, and they looked exactly alike. Same smiles, same eyes, same hair, same everything. He felt like he had been punched in the gut. By a wrecking ball. His heart and mind were both racing. Jess reached over and scrolled through more pictures, showing him picture after picture of her with her twin. He could barely find the breath to speak.

"You look just alike," he murmured.

"Not exactly alike, but close enough that lots of people mistake us for each other. And we used to even share clothes and have the same hairstyle, so people often confused us. I'm not surprised you thought she was me."

"Holy shit. That was your sister at the frat party all those years ago?" he whispered.

"Yes. I've never been to a frat party in my entire life. In fact, I was at work that night. You were supposed to pick me up, remember? You never showed up, and I never knew why. You wouldn't even return any of my phone calls. Then I saw you with that blonde bimbo at the SUB, and I assumed you got tired of waiting for me to have sex with you. I thought I had disappointed you sexually, so you moved on to greener pastures. I carried those insecurities with me all these years, just because you dumped me like a hot potato instead of talking with me."

"Oh my God," he muttered, rubbing his forehead. His voice dropped an octave. "Oh my God!" The implications were unfolding in his mind faster than he could process them. He remembered everything he had done and said at her apartment, and he groaned miserably. "Oh God, Jess. I'm so sorry."

She looked at him grimly. "Yes, you should be. We could have been together all those years, but instead, you've spent the last decade hating me. And I've spent the last ten years feeling broken hearted and confused."

Silence stretched out between them. Jess waited patiently for him to put all the pieces together in his mind. It had taken her a couple of days to understand everything, but he did it in minutes. When he finally spoke again, he couldn't meet her eyes.

"Oh fuck. What an idiot I've been."

Jess was nodding her head in agreement. "Yes, you have. But there's no more time to waste worrying about that. After all, we have a flight to catch, so you'd better get moving."

"A flight?" His eyes snapped to hers. "What are you talking about?"

"We're going to Las Vegas to elope. It worked pretty well for our parents, and I'm hoping it will work equally well for us. Besides, I don't have the patience to plan a big wedding."

Jess came around his desk and stood beside his chair. She ran her fingers through his hair. She couldn't resist smiling at his stunned expression.

Nick was still in shock, but he pulled her down onto his lap. He felt like the world's biggest asshole, and he swallowed hard. He searched her face. Her eyes were filled with love, which he found unbelievable after all he had done to her.

"You're still willing to marry me? How is that even possible? Jess, how can you ever forgive me for what I did to you? Not only did I think the very worst about you, but I treated you like a slut and said horrible things to you to punish you for something you hadn't even done. And I never even gave you a chance to defend yourself. If I had only listened to you, this would never have happened. I don't deserve your forgiveness."

She grinned up at him and cupped his cheek. "Of course I forgive you, Nick. That's what love is all about. And I do love you, more than ever, in fact. And I know that you love me too."

Nick could hardly speak past the lump in his throat. "Of course I love you, Jess. But how can you possibly believe it after the way I've treated you?"

Jess sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. "Nick, that night, you were so furious that you could have easily killed me. You were tempted to strangle me with your bare hands. You thought the very worst about me. If I had been in your shoes, I probably would have murdered you. But instead, you consistently offered me a way out. You controlled your anger so that you didn't cause me any permanent harm."

"But Jess, I hurt you that night. And I did it on purpose. I wanted to make you suffer, like I was suffering."

His eyes dropped to the scarf around her neck. He pulled it down and saw the faded bruises. His eyes filled with tears.

"Oh fuck. How can you ever forgive me?" he whispered.

Jess laid her finger gently over his lips. She smiled at him and gave him a brief kiss.

"You did cause me pain. But what struck me the most about that night was that every time you saw I couldn't take any more, you stopped. You did it time and time again, always reminding me that I had the power to end things. And even though you caused me pain, you ultimately brought me the most exquisite pleasure. Only love can do that, Nick. Only love can overcome the kind of anger and hatred you must have had for me that night."

Nick closed his eyes against the tears welling in them. "I don't know how you managed to understand all that, but I'm thankful you did. But Jess, I..." he swallowed hard, and his tears finally overflowed, "...I hurt you. My God, baby. I hurt you."

He clutched her to his chest, and she could feel him shaking as he cried. Her heart swelled with love for him.

"Shh, Nick. It's okay. You want to know another secret, Nick?"

She sat up and wiped his tears away with her thumbs. Nick's throat was too clogged to speak, so he just nodded. Jess leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"You didn't really hurt me, Nick, physically I mean. You easily could have, but you didn't." She flushed slightly and stroked his chest. "Actually, I quite enjoyed being tied up and tortured. We can even do that again sometime if you want, when you're not angry."

Seeing his shocked expression, she laughed and kissed him. They spent several minutes locked in a heated battle to see who could show they loved the other one more. Finally, she drew back with a satisfied sigh. She smiled up at him, and her eyes were shining with happiness, but his expression was serious.

"Jess," he said softly. "We can do a lot of things together, but I'll never treat you like that again. Not like that. I can't believe I ever thought those things about you. I should have known better. I love you, Jess. I've been such a fool, and if you can forgive me, I swear I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

"I love you too, Nick. I always have, and I always will. I forgive you wholeheartedly. I only have one condition."

"What?" he asked. "Anything, baby."

"The next time you get mad at me for something, tell me what the hell it is instead of just disappearing."