All Comments on 'The Return'

You are an accomplished writer and I enjoy your work and look forward to more stories in the future.

The story was good, but there are difficulties with the basic structure. A rape victim not automatically administered a morning-after pill? Authorities not informing the husband of an assault on his wife? A true "loving wife" would have communicated her pain to her husband, and there would have been compassionate leave granted to allow him to come help his soul-mate. Who would be so heartless to let him come home and admidst the celebrations of reunions sand-bag him with the news that his wife is pregnant in such manner to let him think she was a filthy, cheating whore? Letting him learn that his country laughingly betrayed him and his wife by hiding the tragedy while he was sacrificing for his country? Letting him see his wife raise an abomination of a child of rape? What a cruel fantasy you have wrought, it isn't really much of a loving wife, as it is a study of inflicting pain and cruelty through circumstance. Perhaps BDSM may have been a better fit?

that a woman whose jaw is broken and whose body has been battered actually began enjoying it? She must have been a very sick woman to encourage her rapists to give her more and to feel sick because they didn't finish her off. What a bunch of crap to be written by an old redneck. Sounds like wishful thinking to me.

I liked the premise of the story and it flowed well. But there are a few problems with how it was handled. The MPs would have immediatly notified the soldiers Commander or 1st Shirt. Agree with the other comment that the morning after pill would have been highly encouraged. DNA tests from the semen would have nailed anybody involved in the military in short order. All she would have to have said was she was raped and no husband would have walked away. The Chaplin would have already been alerted on the base and the deployed location shortly after the incident. Please talk to someone who has been on active duty recently before using the military as a backdrop again. Finally, please continue to write and submit your stories. I think your talented.

Fiction is just that. It allows bending some scenarios to some degree but not to the extreme.<P>

Military men especially MPs would realize the stretch was improbable but few others.<P>

Nice work author - your efforts and imagination are appreciated. Gradual improvements are also noted in your work.<P>

With Regard

when the plot line is implausible. The story might be fictional but ignoring common practices makes the author look foolish. Rape victims routinely receive the morning after pill. Why that didn't happen here is a mystery. After that faux pas, the story failed to hold my interest.

Through discrete inquiries to Karen, I was able to determine that the big cock that I had enjoyed had remained intact and had ceased to function as the result of a motorcycle accident. <p>

That was indeed, quite a "rape"!

huge plots holes... you knew not everyone in the armey is as fucking stupid as Bush is. DNA samples.... the morning after pill.... unbeleiveably incompetent MPs .

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This author cant write but cant write good plots.

<p>Because the writer wrote about rape in the military it makes him a liberal Democrat? Are you saying that Republicans don't care about rape? Are you assuming since military rape is involved that this is an anti-war story and therefore must be written by a Democrat? </p>

<p>What is your point, Harry? Do you know that many women soldiers in Iraq refuse go to the latrine at night because of the likelihood of being raped? This is an endemic problem in the military and has absolutely nothing to do with political affiliation.</p>

<p>Harry, why don't you take your head and stick it back up your ass where it usually resides. No wonder so much shit comes out of your mouth.</p>

<p>That being said, the story itself had weaknesses related to the MP's response to and total disregard for the rape. It certainly didn't ring true. These and other problems with the story lessened its impact.</p>

<p>The problem was with the author's writing, not with his political affiliation.</p>

<p>By the way, I am a registered Independent and have been since 1969. I think both Democrats and Republicans are a bunch of assholes, for the most part. But if you look up 'asshole' in the dictionary, you'll just see a picture of Harry with his mouth open.</p>

were not only in HQ but had the authority to stop the investigations or at least slow them on the rapes. The wife in this story was very stupid. The husband would have been notified thru channels if she had reported the rape on post. Seems rather interesting she would tell everyone about the rape but her husband, perhaps she was hoping the guys would come back again with the large organ and finish her enjoyment. Since it is mentioned by her later on and repeatly am surprised she didnt just go outside of the marriage in search of large cock. I have no doubt that several soldiers would take care of the rapist, after all what would they really have gotten in court, a couple of years in jail? A shame with all of her pride in no abortion she didnt figure in the lost time with her husband caused by her incubating another mans child so she could feel good about not aborting a baby. Pride does walket before the fall. I am afraid after her not loving me enough to tell me first she was raped, then she was pregnant, I would figure out just how much she really loved me and divorce her ass as soon as possible. One person mentioned DNA samples, the sperm and baby provide good sources, could positively identify the culpits. As I recall the services are taking DNA samples to identify remains for family in the event of combat deaths, so why not just ID the people? Hmmm, even if they were incapacitated by accident they still have DNA and can still be tried for the crimes by the MPS and the courts. I agree with several comments, to many holes and loose ends for a good story.

.... Fuck Dogs! (ROFLMAO)

the one person who had the greatest right to know her own spouse. Kept her pregnancy secret for all those months. This woman may have been raped but by her own admission she liked it. To show up that way when her husband arrived knowing the effect it would have showed a remarkable lack of concern, affection, or love for her husband. In reality her lust was for the large cock she was raped with. Chosing to carry the bastard to term without the knowledge or consent of her husband again shows how self centered she really is. Nope she is a useless slut wife and very stupid and immature, divorce was the best option. You write better stories than this please do so. Had you let the husband divorce the piece of trash, I would have given you a much larger score........

Contrary to what you think rape victims do not enjoy it, nor do they ask for it. Would you enjoy someone forcing a big cock up your ass, you senile old man.

The comments may have more problems than the story, so judgmental.

As to the "obvious" fact that rape victims don't get aroused, around 20% actually do, involuntarily. But, that's physical and wouldn't likely lead to the reaction she described.

There are 21 people missing in south-central LA as a result of them being involved in raping and drugging my girl. After returning from my third tour in Viet Nam , it took me 3 years to complete my task and it was in each case the retrobution was slow and very, very painful and fatal.

I think that the 3 got off very easy, my own experience was to terminate the problem so that it could never happen again or be talked about by any of the people involved.

No woman in her right mind will enjoy a rape, but the body itself is geared toward survival and will do what's necessary to prevent or minimize harm. And yes, that includes self-lubrication and orgasm at times. JH

with the story is that she admits she enjoyed it. This is SO wrong for so many different reasons.

You just had to do it didn't you? You had a great story going. The human interest angle of the plot served by the caring wife of the chaplain was a nice touch. This added some much needed softness to the story and showed how another human being can touch you at your most low times.

The characters of the wife and husband were near perfect. The husband jumped to the wrong conclusion, but what man wouldn't in his position? This introduces the lesser of two major holes in the story. His wife was raped, the military police investigated the incident including, one would logically assume, photographs of her injuries and a rape kit. The question this introduces to the logical mind, especially those of us who are veterans of the military, is why the husband was not informed by his commanding officer of this crime against his wife. As a matter of fact, the husband would have been granted humanitarian leave in this situation, at least temporarily. But no, he is forced to absorb the sight of an obviously pregnant wife when returning from a long deployment without any preparation to keep him from reaching the wrong conclusion. Once aware of the facts, however implausibly the situation is presented to him, he becomes the loving supportive husband he should be.

The wife, here again, is near perfect. She did nothing wrong, she did not ask for this sexual violation on her person. She even takes what would seem to some the radical position of not punishing the unborn child of her rapist. This would seem unrealistic to some, but it does happen in a few cases. This further serves to show us her high moral character. It is here that everything goes off the rails. A good start, characters we want to emotionally identify with and invest in, and an inventive case of justice coming down on the perps. The author just could not help doing the one unforgiveable thing that destroyed the story. She, of course, had to start out resisting the rape, but her body had to betray her and damn that big dick just felt so good that she wound up enjoying it. When rescued from her ordeal, she cries not from relief but in frustration at being interrupted. We are even treated to an anonymous comment that "the body does what it needs to do to survive, and sometimes a woman being raped will get wet and even orgasm sometimes" or words to that effect. Bullpussy!

Rape is not about sex in the first place. The sex is secondary to the crime. It's all about brutality, control, and dominance. All one need do to understand this simple fact is to look at the various rape victims themselves. Many are elderly women, many are not what society would consider attractive women. And the women themselves most certainly do not "enjoy" being raped. They are scarred beyond belief emotionally and often physically. Many commit suicide, others never recover from paranoia. Most are filled with a sense of shame and violation and wonder against all evidence if they somehow brought this upon themselves. Many self medicate with drugs and alcohol, and a lot of them can never have a normal sexual relationship again. And anonymous, the body will adjust to extreme situations for survival reasons, the most famous being the "fight or flight" resonse. But no, rape victims do not become aroused, do not automatically experience unwilling vaginal lubrication, and they damn sure do not achieve orgasm!

I was able to overlook the first hole in the story, although it made a sizeable dent in plausibility. I realize a need to allow for the exigencies of literature to some degree so a plot can work itself out. But the woman's experience during the rape was too much, over the line, and satisfied no one but the juvenile and perverted. One star!

and god help those who violate. TK U MLJ LV NV

Could have been a great tale. Rape is not about sex. It's about violence and fear. You almost get the impression that she wanted to be ravaged again by the rapists.

That takes away all plausibility of this tale. Well written though.

she wasnt worth keeping

A bit meandering and awkward. Not sure why you would introduce the element of her being turned on only to completely drop it. Thanks for the offering.

Disarm rapists!

Police report? Husband notified? C.o. notified?

A total crock.

1 she got raped?

2 she liked it

3 she like caring the rapist's kid

4 she lied by omission to husband

5 she is now damaged goods not a fit wife or mother

6 she will look for the big dick,she as much as admits it

7 she is the thing you scrape off your shoe, if she didn't like it ,want it, she would have reported it,

8 you cant rape a slut,whore,porn-chick, they are not human anymore, they are the female reverse version of a serial rapist, they will lie cheat and destroy to get the sex's example "I know it was wrong, but I just couldn't help it. I wanted them to use me, I was even beginning to feel sorry that I had hurt the other guy and I couldn't enjoy him"----- see not a human woman but a slut thing.

Pity any decent man around this, sooner or later they are gonna kill it to survive.

notice she never told jeff she loved the big cock.....hahaha yeah she didnt love getting raped hahaha.

Good read with a great idea for rape justice!!

There is a difference between a bdsm type beating and the beating she received....she would not have enjoyed that; had to go 4

walking away. Had she simply yelled or said "I was raped and want to get rid of the shit inside of me", the husband would have stayed and been supportive. Good ending revenge, but no sympathy for the wife for giving her husband a horrible welcome home with no explanation of why she was knocked up with another mans baby. I understand that even in rape there can be an orgasm just because of biology. It shows the wife did not care for the rapist because she was not upset by the loss of use of his big cock and the damage done to him and his fellow rapists

raised your score one star higher.

Her husband not being notified?

She was not only raped but assaulted and her jaw was broken in the assault.

Even if the officers failed in their duty to inform him, why didn't she?

Her not telling him and letting him be blindsided by seeing her pregnant was extreme cruelty and or total indifference to him.

There are people who consider the morning after pill to be abortion not birth control, but she displays no other signs of that level of extremism.

Why did the MP's roll up with the lights flashing just to check on why the phone was out of service?

Were they in on it and warning the rapists?

As police they make Barney Fife look better.

The military has the lowest I q scores of any groups tested.fact, if they were not in military,75% chance they would be dead or incarcirated

It's not in her case that her body just responded though her mind STILL didn't want it to... it's a case of she enjoyed it (in spite of obvious pain from a broken jaw)... she WANTED it to continue and though the forced oral sex should have been excruciating she wasn't adverse to that either...

If the story had just mentioned she came and felt guilty, that would be one thing... but that's where this story took her...

And yeah, couldn't have informed him at any point prior...? No one else could relay the info...? She couldn't have had someone official there to explain the circumstances...? .No counselor, no one religious, no form of commander...? B.S.

they are not automatically "given" it. As NARAL puts it, "her body, her choice." Not that I believe in abortion on demand, but were it my spouse, it would still be her choice. Honestly, the fetus/baby/whatcamacallit is as much a victim as his/her mother was.

Great story, except that if this was a ground combat unit, I doubt the perps would have survived, given the troops I served with. You go to war, learn that "killing bad guys is a hoot" (Mattis), and come home to find your (or your buddies' spouses raped) by other soldiers, you figure "Oh, well, more bad guys." Ground combat will make you pretty Old Testament.

Nice of her to think fondly about her rapists and especially the big cock.

What an unreal whore!

People have climaxed during rape but don't think fondly about it during or later!

It usually screws them up for life.

What is the point of the big cock angle? The author has the victim/wife obsessing over the pleasure of the big cock. She even returns to it later in the story. What is the point?

Is the author simply trying to have the readers experience some of the ambiguities and contradictions in victim psychology? If so, then I think that the author tries to cover too much ground. Otherwise, it would seem that the big cock crap is just a confusing detail.

The biggest problem with this story is the almost complete lack of emotion. It's a real zero on that account. It really does read like a bad police report or a documentary.

But the other thing is the wife, taking for granted that she wasn't driven completely insane by the circumstances, is a pretty stupid person as written. She is assaulted and she never tells her husband. Huge strike against her there.

Then she shows up on the tarmac with her bulging belly. What a stupid bitch. She's lucky the guy didn't crack and blow her pea-size brain out. And then she decides to carry the little bastard to term and chuck it into the System. Very questionable. Raising a child with no real parents is extremely cruel. To this reader, it is arguable whether to just send it back to Jesus.

And by the way, what's with the rabbi bullshit? Is this the IDF? Do average soldiers have to suffer rabbi-exposure? Better to get some gamma rays than that.

The author needs some work on putting a human angle into the story. This is clinical, dry, tedious, and psychologically strange.

If these were military men that did the rapes, then after they got feminism would have been charged from babies dna. Good read and ending.

You Rape My Wife....I Cut Off Your Dick....That's Justice......Not Like The So Called Law Enforcement People!.......Story Has Merit and I Award That★★★★★ WOOF!

My Assessment of the story! (IS. .. AS PER STORY ) No people were killed making this story. ....Just a couple of Now DICKLESS ASSHOLES! See Ya!

These guys won't rape anyone again. Story not too far out of belief. It's understandable that combat vets returning to their stateside command might just be upset if a group of chairborne rangers preyed on their wives. Under cover of a night training exercise, a group could slip away and take care of business. I can't see leaving them breathing though. Serial rapists deserve the death penalty.

The US Army Criminal Investigation Command (USACIDC), usually called CID, investigate major felonies on Post. CID is the Army counterpart to NCIS, and they have the same type of investigative techniques and labs as does the NCIS. MPs only need a high school diploma (and somtimes without it) --CID requires the diploma AND 60 hours of college credit. MPs only need to be able to obtain the lowest security clearance, CID requires a Top Secret Clearance. MPs wear Army uniforms, CID agents never do. What a uniformed police officer in a squad car or on a beat is to the civilian-clothed police detective is the same sort of difference between an MP and CID. MPs normally are under the command of the post commander. CID agents do Not belong to the post commader, they have a separate chain of command allthe way up to the Army Chief of Staff (the guy who is in charge of the entire US Army.)

Neither MP ot CID prosecutes a criminal case in the military. Army lawyers are in charge after the Convening Authority decides (with the help of his lawyer staff judge advocate) to convene (create) a Court-Martial.

A Dishonorable Discharge (DD) may only be given after a soldier (sailor, marine, airman) is tried and convicted by a General Court Martial. In addition, it may only be given after conviction if a DD is authorizedby the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) (an act of the US Congress; 10 U.S.C Sections 801 et seq.) A DD is NEVER given administratively. Currently 10 U.S.C Section 920 of the UCMJ authorizes the death penalty for rape if grevious bodily injury or attempted murder occurs. The US Supreme Court banned the death penaty for a "meer rape" about 40 years ago. (Seven 65 to 75 year old men. No women in the Supreme Court then.) It is an open question if the ban applies to the military. (Military law is different from civilian, it is a part of a commander's duties, so it is materially different in purpose from civilian criminal law. (Could you be tried, convicted and sentenced to death if you walked away from your civilian job during wartime? In the military you can be sentenced to death for doing that.))

I felt really sorry for her, all the shit she went through and the frosty reception she received. She went through hell, and ti wasn't her fault. Luckily, her husband finally listened to what actually happened

if she was raped and reported it it would have been reported to his command structure and while the wouldnt have told him of it down range he would have been told before getting off the plane

also, women dont show as being pregnant the first month, usually month three, she was far enough along to show but then still took an addition 8 month? a 10 to 12 month pregnancy?

This was a goatfuck on SO many levels.

Still a decent story, except for the part where she cried because the guy stopped raping her. That was really stupid.

"I wanted to tell Jeff that I was raped, but he didn't give me a chance."

Ah, the wife had months to get the news to her husband but didn't. Why? First thing should of done is reported the crime to the police. She then should have went to the hospital and demanded a rape kit done and get any possible DNA Trace evidence collected and secure documented. Get a pregnancy test done as soon as possible to confirm any unwanted pregnancy from the rape. Oh, she's embarrassed, feels ashamed and afraid. Well, if she'd reported the crime and then got notification to her husband things could have gone differently. How do you think her husband felt when she shows up at her husbands return and obliviously 8-9 months pregnant?

I break into a wave of hysterical tears and tell him I am seven months along. Then I say, "Please Jeff. Can we talk? I need your love and I need your understanding. Please don't walk off without talking to me. Please honey. I need to explain.

What a stupid way to explain! Would have been better if all she had said was… Rob I was raped! That’s all it would have taken. Stupid writer just tried prolonging the story..!

This was a strange story and seemed to lack the detailed character development that was in the other stories by this author. I will give this story only two stars.

So no "morning after" medication, then?

No Plan B, no abortion, enjoyed the forced sex, etc etc etc. Was a "baby machine" for several months after husbands return after a long stint ina warzo e. . Don't buy it for lack of reasoning and character development. Honestly not sure I would have stayed with her after her loopy rationale and behavior. Not to blame the victim but the guy would have witness this for some time, and her attitude towards his concerns would have to be off-putting. If they had no children already, this would surely have caused doubts about the relationship given first kid a rape baby he didn't agree to.

This plotline wouldn't fly even in a Fantasy/Sci-Fi story. It's beyond stupid and ignores real forensics, crime investigation, medical intervention, and DOD-dependent care services for family members of those deployed. Dumb, dumb, duuhhh-mb. Let's have a military person write a REAL version of this story.

Speaking of a beyond bad plot! Most commenters here saw the flaws clearly. And the huband's accepting the wife's (ir)rationale would be beyond belief. Keeping a rape baby despite his wishes? No Plan B? Yadda, yadda. But the bit about her attitude towards a sexual assault seems oddly permissive absent drugs or alcohol. Just well beyond the pale of gullibility. The author should try again.

Yep.... all she had to do was say, "Rob, I was raped!" by way of explanation. Beyond that, and hearing that, a real loving husband would have at least withheld judgement until hearing her story details. For one thing, if it was reported and treated as a crime, she would have had medical and other supportive (psychological, counseling, therapy) services from Tri-Care or similar. Also it would have been reported to the serving husband and he would have gotten emergency or compassionate leave to deal with the family problem. A military chaplain would have been involved much, much earlier if needed. No rape victim would have been left so unsupported. The rest is irrelevant.