All Comments on 'The Return of Jerry Lee'

cucks get one star

I wonder what happened to the baby she was carrying.

Good but not enough about how his ex fared.

I hate stories where everything gets laud out for the husband on a silver platter. How convenient that Jim asked her if she stopped cheating on her husband the one day after she actually had.

How convenient that her mother was so in sync with Linda’s moods that she was able to pinpoint who she was fucking.

How convenient that Linda and Jerry Lee were killed in a vehicle accident.

Convenient. Maybe he should but a fucking lottery ticket considering how fortunate he is.

I particularly like the attitude that you gave to the daughter Leslie

Good story.

What happened to the baby with jerry lee?

Didn't quite work for me really. I don't understand why he would agree to that situation. It was clear he didn't like and you didn't really outline why he would agree. Love? That wasn't really outlined either. If anything he came across as liking her.

The cliché of the returning lover. But it's not a cliché if it happens in real life. And are there people like Linda in real life who abandon their children without a second thought? Sadly, there are.

I like a lot of your stories. This one fits right into the mode of those.

I wasn't sure I would be giving it a score after the first 1/2 page. I don't like bringing down a writers scores by giving low scores unless it really is a bad story.

To me a persons writing is their way of telling a story. Some story lines just aren't my cup of tea. The second page made this one palatable and brought it up to your normal good writing.

thank you for an entertaining story. We love stories with happy endings. Jim did not deserve what happened to him. Glad to see his suspicions caused him to prepare.

Enjoyed this tale, but there is one loose end. Not a big deal, but what happened to Linda & Jerry's baby?

What happened to Linda's second child? She was pregnant when she split.

Really hard to get into this story. Little emotion, conflict, or excitement. And of course the girl of his dreams falls into his lap when the girlfriend hooks up with her old boyfriend.

This is a solid, well-written, and makes sense story. Thank you.

Okay, we're in LW, inclined to be suspicious, but the male voice was "hoping" for two hours? Who HOPES for extra time on the job?

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"I began asking myself again what she had done to hurt me?" - Is he unconscious?

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"Suddenly, admiration turned into something more and for the first time, it was reciprocated. - And THAT'S the point where you have to pull back, get a transfer, quit your job if you have to, not pursue the attraction.

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If she was prepared to get a "divorce" from a common-law marriage, why not get married? Then she'd have the protections that she THOUGHT a common-law marriage gave her!

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Jerry Lee would won't let her see Leslie if Jim was out of the picture, but she tried to see her earlier.

I liked it. What I really liked was that yo didn’t cheapen the ending by making his ex-wife a broken person living on the streets. She died with her partner. She loved him and not our protagonist. That is life sometimes. Yes. You choose and move on. Grandma also made her choices. Pragmatic and long term to keep her relationship with her grand-daughter rather than with her daughter. People do behave like this in the real world occasionally. Not everything is a morality play. Thank you.

This is why you get a DNA and don’t get married to sluts

Linda was pregnant by Jerry Lee when she left. Husband and wife trucking team? No mention of the child in the wreck? What happened to Lesley's half-sibling?

I liked that story a lot! I don't know why he agreed to Linda's terms at the start of the relationship, but in that sense he made his bed. She was undeniably a user. The 2nd half of the story, and his marriage, was an absolute delight.

Good story leaves me with a couple questions.

Was Linda really pregnant when she left?

Did Linda and Jerry Lee leave an orphan behind?

I struggled with the "arrangement" and couldn't fit it in a box I could get my arms around, but otherwise it was a decent story. Maybe a section on Lunda's POV would have as well. Just how does someone do what she did? 4*

Ugh, your MC is, without a doubt, the sorriest excuse for a man. Yea Lesley, the only admirable character in the story. Janet was an admirable character until the proposal scene. She should have told him to pack sand, slapped his face, and made him crawl over broken glass for forgiveness of such a stupid act. But, of course, he was still the dumbest ass ever for accepting Linda's ridiculous proposal. Good writing and dialogue but having them cry at the assholes' deaths was indicative of a very poor plot.

Again thumbs up, yea rah, and kudos to Leslie, the only likable character.

A nice feel good story from the reliable littleOneWon. And in this case, the (relatively) little won really did win, over the behemoth Jerry Lee. Of course, now every cheater named Linda recalls that most famous one. Anyway, this story touched all the bases, with quick and light steps. Two pages, and a true loving wife in Janet. Most good.

QM

this familiar to couple of stories that I have read but I just can't remember the names

Real good story. I like how the retiring secretary set up the couple.

Finally, a story with prologue, plot and epilogue.

In a flurry of poor, weak or simply disgusting texts, something that puts a ray of light, in the immense darkness.

It could be in romance if it was longer. But it is a text of few pages, but that addresses very present and believable issues, with reality outside of literature or dramaturgy.

The fact that the bitch, slut, shameless whore, tries to steal the betrayed partner's goods, does not surprise me. The fact that she tried to subjugate him so that he would have the Daughter a few times and in the end, she tried to make the Daughter become adopted by the asshole, was the last straw.

Such a petty creature would easily abandon her Daughter, and so she did.

I agree that it was too easy for the MC to find someone else to love and be loved and rebuild their lives together. In real life this takes much longer and may never even happen. But this is fiction, and being fiction, anything is possible.

I offered 4 stars. I enjoyed your work and will read more of your writings.

But that's just my opinion.

What happened to Jerry Lee and Linda's child?

Judging by Linda's behavior, Jerry Lee must have had one hell of a cock.

He certainly was a prick.

What happened to the child she was pregnant with when she left for California?

glad she ended up out of his life, but you made her a little too easy to hate. Mix is up a little, it was too predictable.

Horribly weak story. Plot line was as flimsy as MAGA cultists fragile grip on reality.

This seemed like a lazy assed attempt to get some cheers from the BTB crowd that think McD's is the worlds finest cuisine.

If anyone missed that is was going to happen again, after the shitty dialogue of their first go over on her cheating is factually brain dead.

And thankfully you didnt deviate from the usual plot device of the typical over the top bitch of a wife.

Sorry but I wouldnt wipe my ass with this one.

At least it wasn't some of the 750 word bullshit.

Not really a 4 but better than a 3, I think. Maybe not.

Meh. Decent plot and decent writing, but it was just weird that Linda took off with trucker Jerry and abandoned her daughter.

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And it was unsatisfying that the story did not include some sort of confrontation between Linda and daughter in later years. As well…unsatisfying that apparently Linda and her trucker stud had a decent life after she abandoned her daughter. Dying together in an accident was not the sort of “payback” readers expect in these tales.

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But at least Jim and Janet had a good life and family.

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3 ***

I read a lot about just some lady showing up for conjugal visits, it doesn’t work like that a prisoner can’t say oh my old ex girlfriend will be stopping by. Small detail but no state/federal run prison allows that.

Two comments and a question. First the tension that should have been there because Linda refused to fully commit at the start of this relationship was never shown or expressed by Jim. Neither Jim nor Linda displayed any true feelings of betrayal or remorse in the destroyed relationship.

Secondly, the final act of the story felt formulaic and rushed. Did the author become bored with his characters?

Too pat, told in a dry, lifeless fashion.

Great story, but only Lesley had the correct opinion about Linda.

Jim got what he deserved with Linda. She was upfront about not committing and he must have had his head buried in the sand. Then he blew off her first affair.

It was hard to empathise with the guy, when he brought this on himself.

If you propose to your girlfriend and she turns you down because she doesn't believe in monogamy, you dump her slutty ass, not get her pregnant! Talk about a huge red flag...

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His second big mistake was forgiving Linda's affair when she cheated with her boss. A woman that loves and respects her husband would never dream of cheating on him, that's why female infidelity is so much worse. As he eventually found out, Linda never really loved him, and actually wanted to be married to Jerry Lee.

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The final thing wasn't a mistake, but his reaction to finding out about Linda and Jerry's death was bizarre. What kind of pathetic cuck would cry about that bit of joyful news? Jerry Lee was a piece of shit, and Linda was a treacherous snake who betrayed him repeatedly and broke his heart. The delicious sense of schadenfreude would've kept me grinning all day.

What a stupid story from a stupid writer. The protagonist married a how and is then surprised when she acts like a hoe

Interesting story! The IRS lists seven states that recognize common law marriage.

5

trying to change a whore is like trying to fix a car with out tools

@Anonymous Re: Pregnancy - Who cares? We know it's Jerry Lee's, it doesn't affect the MC.

@Anonymous Re: Child - My apologies, I didn't think that she obviously would have had the baby by the time of her death, obviously we care about her, hopefully someone was caring for her while they were on the road, maybe will continue?

No story here. Just meanderings of idiocy.

I'm shocked that Jerry and Linda didn't end up in prison, once a drug dealer, you can't escape the lure of easy money no matter how dangerous.

How did he get in the Army with a prison record? 4/5.

Well as much as Lindas priorities were screwy, she wasn't exactly the conniving so-called loving wife. She didn't deny her behavior or her wants. Yet the dumbass kept her for some unknown reason. What he went through with her wasn't much of a surprise as put up with it previously. Messed up tape but different from the cheating whore story in the fact he was hoping she was something she wasn't.

Sorry, not a great effort at building a story.

So what happened to the child she was pregnant with?

Very nice story, a different tack. Keep up with the stories.

4-stars

Linda behaved likw two different characters in the story. Invthe beginning she is weepy if she does something hurtful. Then on a dime, she's cruel, callous and abandons her daughter.

This story comes across as someone who wrote the first part, let, it sit for a while, then forgot everything he established with the characters. Then at some point, he watched a TED talk by saddletramp on, "Kill the bitch and lover and the details don't matter." I'm surprised it wasn't in all caps.

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Others have pointed out problems, so I won't go into those. Here are the issues not addressed.

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Linda gets weepy when she hurts a boyfriend, but suddenly is excited when Jerry Lee returns. No weepy there. THEN, it is revealed that while with Jim, she cheated on him with Jerry Lee and wasn't ever weepy then. Also, she wasn't sure who the father of Lesley was. Shouldn't that make her weepy? That would obviously hurt Jim.

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How old is Lesley, and what jobs do the parents have? The way the story is told, at the time Lesley had to picked up from school, she was 4. Too young to be in kindergarten, but even if she was, then both parents had jobs that ended daily before she was out of school so one of them could pick her up.

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Lastly, you do write a story that flows, it is easy to read. My advice is to get an editor that not only does spelling and grammar, but also tells you when your story makes no sense and why. That said, keep writing. 3 stars, and that's because the bar is so low in LW. It is average for what we normally get here. Character consistency would have gotten you a 4.

Only average as I liked second part except same park bench etc.

First part have no idea how any man can share wife, girl friend, or even think about it

Editor is always needed.

TheM/C facilitated her cheating, and his pain. He could have ended the relationship much earlier, without issue.

Such delay is not permissive of wiling sense of disbelief. This was a serous error in an otherwise well crafted story.

[I vacillated between 3.5 to 4 stars on this one.

Derivative. No spark. Plodding, tedious and predictable.

An enjoyable read in spite of a number of plot holes and a somewhat preachy tone concerning the institution of marriage, the author clearly believing that common law relationships are, by definition, flaky. My common law wife and I got engaged but somehow never got around to tying the knot. Now, 42 years, three children and two grandchildren later we're still living together, while a number of married couples we have known are divorced. Just saying!

Found this story very interesting. I enjoyed the ending with this happy outcome. Thanks for your writing.

Bad story should have dumped her after she confessed about her boss

This was a great Romance and I think it was put in the wrong category.

IN LW people want to see punishment, retribution and have no concept of true love as evidenced by many of the comments.

This has the feel of a true love story! The characters are well built and filled in and the have the feel of real people struggling with the vagaries of life.

Thanks

This was a nice story except for the speech(es) in the park." When a man..." I've never heard anything like that & can't believe something like that would happen. The guy just gets on his knee, asks the question, & hopefully the answer's yes. That he did it twice is beyond my believability. I also can't see how Linda would want to do what she did- staying with Jim all those years cementing an alternative marriage, leaving her daughter cold, still wanting her ex, & expecting Jim to agree to her living arrangements with Greg.

--- On a side note, why does almost all LW stories that I've read end with the man's or woman's death? And almost all also have the husband meeting somebody who's also having suffered from a divorce? Can't write where there's just a single/ widowed lady (depending on age) that he meets? (I'd also assume the same's for the cheated on wife.) 3 stars as nothing really grabbing to me here. Bob

@anonymous (This was a nice story except for the speech(es) in the park." When a man..." I've never heard anything like that & can't believe something like that would happen.) of course it can happen. My girlfriend and I talked 87 about getting engaged. We worked both and shared one account. We talked about the cost range and bought the rings we both liked. We are still married and in love

This plot with a civil marriage agreement reminded me of another story where the wife, referring to the fact that in the wedding vows she invented and pronounced at the wedding, there was no phrase "leave everyone else." And on this basis, the wife considered herself entitled to commit adultery, well, or at least believed that her husband was obliged to forgive her. In short, behind all the ornate phrases of her wedding vows, she allegorically gave herself space for future infidelity

I will answer the question of an anonymous commentator, why did Linda not cry when, while married, she cheated on her husband with Lee? She only cried when she cheated on her "main man." Therefore, in her relationship with Lee, she considered her sex with her husband to be infidelity and, accordingly, sobbed in the arms of her lover.

Ultimately this is just another willing cuckold story.

Femdom agitprop country style. What was he doing with her in the first place? What a ho!

Isn't there a baby to be accounted for?