The Reunion

Author's note:

This story consists of romantic elements and it may as well be in Erotic Couplings category.

But, as always, there is a strong willed woman and an oblivious married man, unequipped for what's coming for him.

Enjoy...

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I still don't think I made a mistake back in high school.

Meg and I were in love but she was my first steady girlfriend. We started dating at 18. Still remaining as a virgin after one year, my hormones started to bug me. All we did was to kiss, innocently make out a little and walk around holding hands.

I never insisted on going further but we got stuck at some point. This could be about saving herself for the marriage or she could be reluctant that things could change if we went far. But I never understood why she hit the breaks in the progress of our great expedition.

And in time, I lost my hope and desire.

My love was and is still great for her but I started to think that there was something amiss in that relationship. Or her, I don't know.

She was a sweet, perfect, beautiful, gentle and clever person. Her eyes, hair, legs were gorgeous. Even her feet were pretty, I once saw when I was waiting for her to get ready to go out. Everything was in place. She was flawless.

But she wasn't a kinky girl, she was never into naughty things or she hid it if she was. I guess 'considerate' and 'sexy' didn't go well together. Or 'sweet' and 'sexy'.

During our 'sweet' relationship, seeing all kinds of feminine, spoiled, curious, teasing, seductive girls around, their colorful socks, their skirts pulled up one or two inches to make boys crazy wasn't easy for me. I was getting confused when many of them giving me that look, it became just a matter of time that I cheated on her.

I had no idea back then but I understood later that some of those girls targeted me because I was dating Meg. Some recognized me as a 'verified' product, while some others wanted their claws on such a perfect girl's boyfriend. That had to be a very sad paradox on her behalf.

In order not to be that person, in order not to cause such a trauma, I told her my problem and that she was the one I would love to marry, if only she wasn't my first. I needed to find out about that world, to experience things.

Nobody believed that I was still in love with her when I left her. Especially her friends hated me for that.

But I didn't go and start dating with some other girl, not for a few months. Because it took time for me to recover from that break up too. Being without her felt void. And I felt guilty for a long time.

Even in the following years, I couldn't help but compare every girl to her. I felt embarrassed when I had a tendency to humor some shallow girls, just because of my sexual attraction to them. I felt bad, thinking that Meg would despise me if she saw me like that. She became my moral compass for a few years, at least reminding me that I was making a clown of myself for worthless girls. But they knew how to choose socks, how to touch, how to show cleavage; they knew how to confuse a boy. So, my moral compass failed a few times.

We were in same circles with her, time to time. We talked about our situation too. I remember I wasn't still ready to commit myself, when it came to that subject a few times.

And in our last serious conversation, she told me not to talk to her until I was. That this was giving her pain a lot. She was right but I wasn't being insensitive. I didn't want to upset her again, since I was still interested in fooling around.

I saw her twice after that.

In the first one, I was done experimenting and my hormones had settled down. I could commit to my final relationship if it came to that.

But when I saw her, she was with her husband. I knew I deserved this and carried on with my life. I heard she moved to Europe short time after that.

In the second time, she was with her family, after her divorce. My wife was with me that time. It wasn't meant to be, clearly. Or this was my way of saying I might have screwed things up. But not without a reason, as I told.

I remember saying 'She hasn't changed a bit' making my wife angry. I understood that she wasn't as confident as she claimed to be. Or, she was aware that Meg was in a different category for me.

Meg looked like she wasn't getting older, she was still beautiful.

And last year was our 30th year after graduation from high school, all of us were getting ready for our reunion. People were coming from everywhere for this occasion.

I show my age, maybe I even look like I'm a couple of years older than I really am. I'm not telling that to say I look like shit. I still have it in me but in a different way. I still get compliments or approaches from women at all ages. Just, not that frequently.

On the other hand, she looked ten years younger than I was. It was a bit heart breaking to see her in that beautiful dress, looking lively and perfect that night. I never saw her wearing a hot dress or nylons and heels before.

She liked to look cuddly all the time before, I always thought that she considered looking hot as an insult to her intellectual - and probably feminist - self. In time, I noticed that some of her thoughts in high school matched feminist arguments, making me understand that she was also wise.

You could think that I regretted what I did but I still didn't.

Maybe I was wrong back then but it was water under the bridge. I learned to live with that decision. And I could say I was Ok.

Besides, it wasn't possible for me not to sample other girls up to this age. Sooner or later, we would end up in a crisis.

She smiled at me from a distance, while she was listening to someone talking to her.

I raised my glass, showing that she looked beautiful with my facial expression and some gestures.

Then I saw her friends standing near her, looking daggers at me. 'Oh, come on, get over with it!' I thought.

We were laughing with my friends when I saw her talk to one of the rich hotshots from our time. That moron once or twice tried to talk her into going out with him when we were dating, to no avail. She didn't let me confront him, telling me that she could handle it herself.

And, I knew she would reject him the same, even if she wasn't dating anyone. She was a decent person; he was a good-looking guy who was also pure garbage.

But this time, she was giggling when he was talking to her. That hurt. I wouldn't have felt like that if that was a stranger. I don't think I would.

Let alone this shithead, anyone from high school meant ruining my memories. Meg and Jerome, we were known this way.

I was watching her and admiring her flawless beauty, her sweet laughter. She wasn't just beautiful for her age; she was more beautiful than I remembered.

Then I heard someone saying "Keep salivating, you moron!"

I turned my head to see who this funny person was. She was Marla, one of her best friends. She wasn't even looking at me, she was watching her in admiration too.

"I couldn't have felt better tonight. Seeing her glow like that is something. Seeing you yearning, that's priceless."

"Why are still you doing this? I never meant to hurt her. I loved her and she's still one of the most precious people for me. I'm just happy to see her like that too."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes."

"I'll see you when she leaves with Matt. As far as I can see, he's about to succeed in crossing one off his list."

I tried not to show how that made me feel. I just smiled, still admiring Meg.

In fact, I wanted to tell her things. To tell her that she was a lousy friend if she was comfortable with that. Probably her hatred about me was clouding her love for her friend. She knew Matt, she knew what a big mistake this was.

Meg wasn't someone whom you could use to blow off some steam. She wasn't a one-night material. It wasn't possible for me to feel Ok, thinking that this schmuck would leave this place with her.

But I wasn't sure which one was worse.

Seeing her go out with him that night or seeing her with him a year later as his wife. As if something like that could happen.

Marla walked away.

The negative mood she put in me stayed.

I had a delusion such as many people were looking at her and me; some, expecting something romantic to happen between us again.

But I knew that there were others who wanted to see me devastated, who wanted her to get intimate with someone else in front of my eyes. They blamed me for years for that. 30 fucking years, I can't believe those people.

When I saw Meg at the bar ordering stuff, I didn't even think before walking there and started talking.

"How can you manage to stay the same?"

"Oh, believe me. I'm not the same."

She didn't look like she was being humble. Just the opposite. She looked very confident about herself.

So, what did she mean? Oh, I didn't just think that. I asked it.

"What do you mean?"

"Life. Toughens you."

"I hope you're saying that in a good way. I'd hate to see you change. You're one of the best people I ever..."

"So, still married?" She didn't want to hear my horseshit compliments.

Her expression was indeed different. Was it alcohol? She almost looked sexy, with a different expression on her face, together with some sarcasm. On top of the 'one of the best people', that dress and that look was confusing. There were alluringly conflicting things in her that night.

I didn't feel Ok at that moment.

"Yes, how about you?" I had no intention to leave the friend zone, I didn't even know why I came to talk to her. That was why I didn't talk about my marriage much. Not to give her some wrong ideas by talking about problems in my marriage.

All marriages had problems time to time. But telling that to your ex-girlfriend could be misinterpreted.

"No, one divorce was enough."

"Still in Europe? Where were you?"

"I'll be back next month. I just didn't decide which city to live in, I mean when I return."

"And? I mean, when will you decide?"

"Depends."

Conversation was over for her.

Previously, she never cut it short like that. Maybe she was too sensitive because of the people around, just like I was.

She took her drink and turned back to leave. I didn't want her to go, I wanted to talk. Maybe I just wanted to keep her near me. Maybe to verify that we belonged to each other, at least in that group. Or, I wanted to stop others talking to her. I wanted to keep that horny bastard away from her. I still don't know.

I said "It's never enough..."

She stopped, looked at me.

I was going to say 'talking to you' but I couldn't say anything else, I just stopped talking.

After I said those words, it felt like I was saying 'without you', meaning 'nothing could fill your void since then'. So, I stopped talking, I didn't want to say such things. I didn't have an agenda. I was looking at her like she was the one talking to me.

She was still waiting for me to talk. For a second, I saw that old, familiar sweetness in her eyes. Then the inexplicable, huffy and confusing look returned.

"Don't get lost. I may need someone to give me lift home."

I gave her a crooked smile.

'I may'? What were the alternatives? Weren't her friends going to be with her?

Was she considering that Matt bastard? For real?

Everyone knew he would sleep with any girl and brag about that the next day. That was who he was. She wouldn't do such a thing. My Meg knew better. If she left this building with him, even if she took a cab outside, he could tell dirty things about her, as if they were together till the morning.

And her stern voice when she talked to me; there was something interesting about her that night. Every second, I was noticing something new, something intriguing about her.

The next hour was disturbing. I couldn't enjoy my friends' conversation. And they noticed.

One of them said "So, Jerome? How's Meg?" with a grin on his face, sarcastically. Probably he guessed how I felt. He didn't do it to hurt me. I knew he was persuading me to act on it.

I made an attempt to smile back but I don't know how that fake smile looked like.

"She looks Ok."

I was thinking 'She was mine and she would be standing by my side now if...'

But my logic was correct. Only, that fact didn't help my troubled mind at that moment.

When I was listening to one of them exaggerate the 3-pointer that his son scored in his last basketball game, he stopped talking. Everyone looked at him and then looked at me. No, they looked behind me. I was about to look back but I felt someone holding my hand.

It was Meg.

My heart jumped.

After thirty years, it was clear that I missed this feeling, holding her hand. It felt like returning home. I never could have guessed I would feel like this. It seems, my brain memorized the feeling of this hand in our one-year non-stop hand holding spree.

I didn't even care if anyone found this wrong; me being a married man, doing stupid things. She was Meg. Meg of Jerome. Her hand in my...

"You're in luck. You don't need to wait for me."

I turned around, I saw Matt standing beside her, smirking to someone in my group. Oh, I wanted to punch that smile into his skull.

"What do you mean?" I didn't want anyone to think I was waiting for her or that I was jealous but it wasn't possible for me to act normal.

"One of Matt's friends is giving a party, we'll go there." And she released my hand.

But I didn't release hers. I kept holding her hand. I didn't mind the puzzled look on her face. I stood up and walked, gently dragging her with me. I wasn't acting like a jealous lunatic, who drank and was about to make a scene. I was being cool, as much as I could.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked calmly, like a friend would.

"Doing what?"

"You know what I mean. He's been after you since high school."

She turned her head to where my group was and looked at him, exchanging a smile with him "He's determined, I have to give it to him."

Seeing her cheeks turn red at that moment made me want to vomit. I stayed calm.

"Are you serious?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Please don't."

She approached me, her face was too close.

"Why?"

"You know why. You're important. Since I'm married, I can't do anything about it but I never stopped loving you. Just don't do 'that'. I can't stand to see you with someone like this."

"You love me?"

How could she not know that? Was she asking me if I wanted to be in his shoes that night?

"You know the answer to that. I just..." I felt sad. My eyes were probably red by then. I let her hand go.

She looked at me for a few seconds. Her expression changed many times. Warm, angry, vengeful, even lustful. Never pitiful. I guess, according to her, I deserved to suffer like that.

That warm look was probably because she believed my love for her.

And she walked away.

I walked to the bar and got another drink. It seemed, I was going to need a lot of those for the rest of the night.

Minutes ago, I witnessed the end of an era. I guess I was the only one who thought that highly of a one-year innocent dating experience. All I knew, there was no more Meg and Jerome.

"Ok, I'm ready to go."

I couldn't believe when I heard her voice. I couldn't hide the grin on my face, from ear to ear.

I looked at her, she wasn't giving me any clues on how she felt. But I knew she was being sweet. She spared me from that sort of unhappiness. Or, she couldn't sacrifice her memories.

I even thought that she didn't want to risk a possible future chance with me.

See? She helped me recover my ego that quickly, right after shattering it down even more easily. I never had an idea that she still could have such an influence over me like that, after all those years. I was right. 'We' were special.

Then, I felt like a loser, thinking that she told him I pleaded her not to leave me like that or even worse, not to go with him.

When she was saying goodbye to her friends, stress found me for another reason.

Was she thinking that something was about to happen between us? Not that it didn't sound alluring. Especially when she looked like that. But I already told her that there was nothing I could do about my love for her.

I didn't want to give her hopes. Even if it was a very intriguing idea.

I definitely didn't want to have a one nighter with her. It wouldn't be much different than Matt's intentions.

But of course, it wouldn't be the same.

We were lovers once and we didn't live it to the end. Both of us could see that as a closure. If we didn't care for each other that much.

And, also, there was the never-ending love part.

It wasn't possible to guess how each party would feel after any kind of an intimacy, if such a thing happened. It could destroy both of our defense mechanisms if we couldn't get enough of this. We both never experienced it with each other, it could go in any direction.

Even worse, one of us could want something more, while the other didn't. Obvious risks you wouldn't want to take. Not with someone you cared that much.

I looked around to see the expressions on people's faces when we were walking out together. I'm not an attention junkie, I just wondered how this looked from outside.

Most of them were unaware or didn't care. My group was mostly gawking at us, some of them looked happy, as if they thought this old sin of mine finally had a chance of cleansing.

They read this all wrong but it was nice for them to think that way, rather than focusing on some unfaithful act of me.

In fact, they were ignoring something I always said; even if I would cheat or leave my wife, I wouldn't jump into another serious relationship. Not right away. I was already being drowned in one.

Then I saw Meg's friends. Marla was sipping from her glass, with a sinister smirk on her face. That was just the opposite of what I would expect from her. Maybe she knew her words hit the target and she made me uncomfortable. Maybe she hoped that I was going to be more uncomfortable the next day.

Some of them were leering at me, then looking at Marla, then at me again. Their negative and awkward stares made me feel over the edge. As if I had to be very careful, as if they didn't trust me with their precious friend.

A few of them were talking to each other in excitement; they were like the female versions of my friends, feeling happy about what they thought was happening.

I followed her in those mixed feelings, watching how confidently she was leading me the way, how her firm and gorgeous body was gliding in front of me. Her friends were wrong. I was the timid one that night, not her. I couldn't take my eyes off of her beautiful legs.

She slowed down, so I could show her the way to my car.

When she saw my car, she became the old Meg for a second, screaming "No way!"

"Yeah, I couldn't sell it. I thought..."

She leaned forward and kissed me. Even if it was an innocent kiss, I felt weak in the knees. I was thinking that I had to protest, as a married...

I didn't need to, she stepped back "Sorry."

This time I was the one who wanted to kiss her. With the sensation of those lips still on mine, gazing upon them without touching wasn't easy. As I said, it was never enough.

We didn't talk much when I was driving. Probably both of us were thinking about the kiss or the rest of the night, if there was anything about it.

Before our conversation and that kiss, I wouldn't have felt like that if I was driving her home.

But at that moment, I was very confused.

I wanted to spend more time with her that night. Not to do anything special. I just didn't want her to say goodnight and leave.

And after that kiss, I knew everything was up to her. She was bold to kiss me like that. Even if that happened instinctively. She was the one who knew how the night was going to end.