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Click hereWith any luck, Hunter was at home, going through the audio file now. If Levant were arrested upon their arrival, it might take years in court, but Rachel would be fulfilling her side of the contract, ensuring her mother received the best care. The best-case scenario would be Levant ending up in jail.
At the moment Rachel wanted to go back to being Denver just to spite Levant.
Rachel turned the camera off, started on another case, and came across a potential charger carrier bag.
"How do you envision your future?" Cooper asked.
Rachel frowned. "I'm not sure. I'll see how things unfold. If you had told me a few weeks ago that I'd be content with being intimate with him, it would have been a revelation. However, I still believe I won't be good for him in the long run. I have a feeling it's not a matter of if, but when I'll be discovered, you know? It would devastate me if he lost a business deal because of our relationship. People claim to be accepting, but I believe there's still a negative perception of partners of trans women. Trans women like me... there, I've said it. Oh, it feels like a significant step. As for partners, well, I don't think they're treated well. I get the feeling people think they are just gay men who don't have the balls to be properly gay. I think if we got married then I would feel very selfish you know."
Rachel felt a sense of satisfaction regarding her own deceit. That was reassuring. She still didn't consider herself a bad enough person to marry Levant without the prenuptial agreement he had offered. A divorce could become messy, and a trans-divorce for Levant would overshadow the O.J. Simpson trial. The media would obsess over Rachel's past and identity.
"I'm still uncomfortable about being taken from behind." Rachel continued "Which I know sounds odd, but if you had seen the size of his dick you would understand. Well Douglas has suggested I might be more you know err relaxed if he and I were in bed with Charlie. I'm super hyped by it. I mean this way he can you know be more normal."
Rachel was looking forward to sleeping with Charlie when they got back. Most of all, she missed seeing Samantha's smile.
The first charger failed, but another one, along with some shaving gear, had the right plug. Rachel plugged it in and noticed the green light come on. Douglas was considerate enough not to disturb her during a session, so the half-hour at the end was her time. Playfully, she inspected the controller. She had tried out most of the settings on herself. She wondered which ones she hadn't cum on yet.
"OK, that's good to know. You've made lots of progress, and I'm very pleased," Cooper said. "I think we need to discuss this new contract."
Rachel noticed that the cable was loose and had to hold it in place to charge.
"What do you need to know? Are they going to extend your time, right?" Rachel asked.
She started looking for some lubricant, the label had been changed in case the bags were search by a curious maid.
"It's not that. You seem to be a bit of an expert in self-sabotage," Cooper said.
"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, pausing her search for a moment.
"You agreed to the new contract pretty quickly." Cooper said to Rachel's surprise.
"My mother has cancer"
"You didn't talk to Charlie, someone who you knew would remind you that you could have sold the Tesla and the Painting probably used the money to pay for the treatment in a cheaper hospital. Instead, you dove right into negotiating a new contract without Charlie's help. A contract that includes full transformation surgery," Cooper said, emphasizing the word "jumped" for a moment.
Rachel nodded. "Only if we get married, which I'm never going to do."
"It's another eighteen months," Cooper said.
The slow effects of the HRT would be complete by then. The transformation would be fully accomplished well before the end.
"He initially mentioned two years," Rachel said. Then wondered why she had lined up more samples in the Unicorn with Dr Grant.
"You're becoming quite close with him," Cooper added.
"Well, I'm still fully dressed," Rachel said, testing the many bottles in the make-up bag for the lube one.
There was a pause.
"Think about it. Perhaps you subconsciously saw the opportunity to extend the contract. Maybe you didn't contact Charlie because you knew she would point out the same things I would," Cooper said.
Rachel froze for a second. "You would have said that?"
"I am paid by Levant, but you are the client. I have your best interests in mind. I'm here to point things out to help you reflect on yourself. I would have reminded you of it. Don't you think this self-sabotage is telling you what you really want to know?"
"That I'm in love with Levant and I want to be his girl?"
"You said it, not me. Perhaps the contract negotiation you really want is with your mother. Your reluctance is with her. She's controlling your life. You keep thinking about her needs, not your needs. Perhaps you should bring up what you want with her, not your partner. He has been very supportive to you in this difficult time. How many relationships would survive an affair like this?"
"It wasn't an affair, I just wanted to see if I could give someone a test blow job," Rachel said.
"Do you know how fake that sounds?" Cooper said. "On the subject of fake, you do know this negotiation is really just face-saving on his part? I think he's just guessing what you subconsciously really want and offering it to you under the guise of his strict demands. This is a classic sign of him not wanting to lose you and needing not to look weak and too needy. You're really in danger of pushing him into demanding things you both don't want. One of you is going to make a misjudgment, push beyond the line, and then risk your long-term happiness together. Be honest with him, but to do that, you have to be honest with yourself."
Rechel's round shoulders slumped, he was getting the blow jobs but she was the bad guy in this.
"You really think that?" Rachel asked. She was genuinely astonished. Half of her brain was saying this was an elaborate lie, but it was too complex to be made up. The other half was screaming that this was the truth, and she had to embrace it.
"It's not what I think; it's what you think that matters," Cooper said.
Rachel nodded uneasily. Then Rachel smiled as she found the secret lube bottle.
"Look, I'm not sure when we can talk next. Douglas is flying back to Europe when his investor thing is done. He says he's got a surprise for me, and we are flying back via England. I just hope this surprise isn't a castle or something; that would be crazy. So, like, I've been binge-watching every episode of Pose while I paint my toenails, and I'm itching to get back to it. Anyway, I'll be in contact. Bye." She lied.
Rachel switched the connection off. She put some kisses in the text window. Perhaps that was too much. Would the Doctor guess it was a lie? It didn't matter if he wouldn't tell. The castle was another tell like the gold. If Levant bought one, he was listening. Even he didn't have enough money to buy an English castle, right?
Still, Cooper had managed to rock her emotional boat like he always did. She couldn't resist his seductive logic. The woman in her wanted to believe it was all true. She felt betrayed by Levant, but she was still torn between going back to Denver and staying as Rachel, even if not with Levant. The boy worried about the growing conspiracy about her. The boy worried about what she had uncovered. Who was he going to apply this hypnotic social media machine to next?
- COMMENTS
Kathryn659 months agoLuv it can’t wait to get back to it if I have some time away from the storyline.. it’s super infectious to read . Thank you kindly for sharing your talent. Xxx
Anonymous10 months agoUnderneath it all, he's a nerd who's caught up in this web of James Bond and saving his family members, then he has this gay thing going on. I liked it better when he was doing this for money on the side and a piece of ass from Charlie, his first crush. Now he's caught up in listening to this quack turning him gay, ruining his chances for a normal family, by being ruined with all the hormones. He should rebel, quit taking hormones and revert back to Denver, if he even can. Who told him long term hormones weren't permanent.
FernVilla11 months ago@racheprice Denver and Douglas are sufficiently different. All they have in common is they both begin with D and are two syllables long.
Please save us from the Alice, Bob and Carol naming convention...
annika_unknown11 months agoNo, I'm not watching you but I wondered if you had some sort of magical "look-inside-me" camera, one that could page through my memories and fantasies! Along with my own fears and fantasies you may be able to see the points in my life where my repressions had the effect of changing and influencing my own life direction. My reflections regarding your Rachel story has intensified my insights, sometimes painfully but also as a type of affirmation. In any case, as the character Rachel is considering her changes my insights have also coalesced. You might see this as a psychodrama without the stage.
When you mentioned your age 9 comment i realized mine started earlier, at about 6 or 7 and at that time none of those thoughts and feelings were oddly sexual but were also without meaning. Within a few years, my experiences became much more meaningful as I attempted to force myself into a masculine mode. Although that forcing never succeeded, of course, my ability to hide became even more prominent to the point where I not only hid from others but also from myself. That leads to the impact of the philosophically, culturally, and politically as you put it.
I don't have a Rachel character who can lead me through a Minotaur experience nor through a jewel-encrusted path but I have my own path and your writing helps to pull it together in ways I never expected. Your writing has also added a depth and a chance to see through the murk inside myself.
Again, BRAVO!
Annika
annika_unknown11 months agoOMG! I just came to the realization that I haven't been assigning stars to this story! Very, Very sorry. Every star helps.
Annika
racheprice11 months agoAuthorThanks again for your kind and encouraging comments. It's always a high point of my week to read them, even the one-word ones. Hopefully, we can see that Rachel is very much a person in transition. As you can see, the political intrigue now holds an important place in the personal plot. Rachel might have never engaged in the blow job without the threat to Hunter's life with out it. So, Hunter becomes the second stage of the rocket, which might propel Rachel into orbit or possibly result in a fiery fall from the heavens. The political plot drives Rachel towards the end, and there is a lot of fallout post the Qatar incident.
It's very nice that people pick up on the function over appearance opening. It delves into the gray area between him and her, swirling your hand around in it. It's a big issue philosophically, culturally, and politically at the moment, and it begins to unravel the woolen jumper by tugging at it.
Last week the previous episode got voted up into the top 10 greatest episodes (7.95 stars) for all time the Trans/Cx category . It was a joy to witness, but it only takes a single 1 vote to undo 5 five star votes (I'm guessing they are using the averages ). This is not a complaint by the way. I've publish and left other social writing websites - they use invisible complex algorithms ( which change ) and I find the algorithmic choices poor. The organisation of Literotica is simple but strangely much better. The site is clearly a work of love and is still in progress ( for example the Series system which is being introduced). The New/Popular/Random is a good system and I hope they don't loose it.
To be brutally frank a site is only as good as the readers and commenters and this site ( or category ) and I find the site is excellent.
It's very pleasing to know that the sex is not going to appear on Literary Review's annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award. This is erotica, and as much as you should innovate, you can't ignore the basics.
That said, it would be good to create a less explicit version so that, as you have suggested, I could find a publisher. The story is coming together, and I'm experimenting with a less explicit version. There was a wonderful comment on Chapter 22.
'Hello you write as if you have been watching me, from a distance, knowing my inner most fears and fantasies, inhibitions and repressed desires since i was an insecure boy of 9 or ten, then through my adolescence and early college years. Your chapters have revealed more about me than I could have ever imagined. They make me tremble and deny, cry and drip.'
I was very touched; it makes you, as a writer, want to reach out to more people.
Finally, I'm learning a huge amount about writing. Thanks for the warning about the complexity of characters. I do break the rules - you should generally have different names for different people, so Denver and Douglas can make it confusing, according to good writing guides. As I have said, it feels like Rachel writes her own story, and I just record it. The moment with Hunter being in the elevator just happened on the page, and the plot pivoted on a "what to write next" moment after Rachel said, "this is weird." It seemed logical that Hunter would follow her. The capture of Peter in the corridor also happened when I was just writing the description of the corridor in the first draft.
I mean, I know where the big ending is, but so much emerges as I write (particularly the sex scenes). I've finally given up micro-managing Rachel's life. I think in the rush to follow Rachel's experiences, I'm not paying enough attention to making this as clear as the reader deserves. Thanks for the heads up. So I'm learning a huge amount. For example, readers picked up on the relatively obscure Hallveig and Volk references, but the reference to the Greek myth of the Minotaur went unclaimed. There are still a couple more Easter eggs to be found if people re-read at a later date. This is a wonderful experience. Thank you for walking it with me.
Chel.
ps. On the subject of complete honesty, I'm not sure you could watch Pose in Qatar. I mean, it's on Disney Plus but...
Next chapter is in the launch tube.
JulieDraper11 months agoHas Rachel passed the point of no return. I look forward to finding out in the next few chapters. So exciting for her future.
annika_unknown11 months agoBravo! I mean, BRAVO. This is the most complex and yet the hottest part yet. It's getting to the point that I'm making notes re: the story since the objects and characters can be difficult to remember. Have you ever read Dr. Zhivago? Same thing. And on the other hand this episode is a lecture or handbook on "trans-living," if that's even a word!
This episode is also the most accomplished part of the series in terms of consistency, written fluency, and references to particular past episodes. (Of course it would inflame legislatures in some states!) It's very difficult to maintain a consistent story flow over so many chapters. This one, number 27, accomplishes what is a difficult task. With this episode I can see some publishing possibilities but, of course, without the heated sex scenes. It's also the first episode (I think) that doesn't rely on the political intrigue. The political intrigue is a back story but what is most significant are Rachel's expectations and her perceptions of herself. You introduce that perception by Rachel early in the episode when discussing Rachel's central recognition that a being a woman is not about appearance but about function. Exactly. And the reason the "take a pill and become a woman" stories fall short is those other stories fail to recognize that fact.
Perhaps the story line has extended Rachel's recognition of herself as a woman but it adds to the reality of her experience. The extended story line also gives Rachel the opportunity to gain emotional knowledge regarding BJs. Oral sex, of course, like any other sexual act is learned. None of us develops such skill at birth but those skills develop with practice. Charlie and Peter have been central to Rachel's gain in skill since Denver would have been too young and inexperienced to be so skilled.
The conversation with Cooper is the fitting conclusion and so this episode occurs in three parts: initial review of previous story line, flaming sex, more of Rachel's recognition of herself, then acceptance and growing knowledge. The conclusion also sets us up with possible story possibilities. Those possibilities are another aspect of this story that keeps us coming back for more. It also makes us "Rachel addicts" as EricaDoesNow notes. And FernVilla also adds another key insight that there is no going back and that a conversation with her mum IS a brilliantly-timed twist. You could have placed a conversation with mum earlier in the story but you withheld Cooper's conversation and used it at the precise moment when it would be most insightful.
Once again. Bravo. And BTW, the sex and Rachel's insights regarding it relieved the anxiety in me along with enjoying it for its descriptions. Writing about sex is difficult. Too much graphic language spoils it, not enough insight takes away the excitement. Rachel's uncertainty makes it very realistic and also breathlessly exciting.
Whew. Literotica needs to add more stars for this; five stars isn't nearly enough.
Annika
FernVilla11 months agoExcellent as ever.
It's begining to dawn on Rachel that there is no going back and the advice from Dr Cooper that she needs to talk it through with her mum is a brillantly timed twist.
