All Comments on 'The Rise of Rachel Price T-Girl Pt. 31'

Great writing, I believe you should fast forward the inevitable transition and eliminate the “hunter factor” from the story, MC can finish the Zeitgeist thing without Hunter.

Outstanding Rachel. So much going on in your life. So many unknowns to be considered. Looking forward as usual to the next chapter.

Oh er missus.

Well, we finally get an insight into Levant and his feelings, he is conspiring with Charlie and he knows that Rachel has been recording him. He engineers Rachel having a face to face meeting with her grandpa and Hunter.

Then there is Rachel almost admitting to Dr Coopee that she wants to stay as Rachel.

Nicely played...

I thought the end goal was Rachel transitioning and ending up with Hunter despite Levant's machinations. I've never doubted she would find herself. Levant's chains may be guilded but they may be what's keeping her from becoming herself.

This episode has my mind twisting with the story. There's so much in this episode ripe for comment that this will require more than one sentence. But, I don't want to wear out my welcome. So, allow me some space to respond in several themes and aspects of this story.

By the way, thinking about all of this meant i wanted to think about all of this for a day or two. First is the easy one. That is your masterful comparisons and allusions. I wrote a full page of notes to recall the best ones. "Being Rachel was too easy, too seductive, too addictive." It's the form of the sentence which I admire as well as its meaning. Every language has its structures and its ways of reflecting truth, capturing a perspective and this phrase accomplishing that perfectly." Next is, "Asylum dress captured Rachel's style perfectly, like a newly caught mermaid." Here it's the erotic image of Rachel as sexually-alluring mermaid, certainly a trope in this literature. Then, "bare arms, shoulders, slim neck...needlessly fuck me stiletto shoes. And not to outdo everything else, "...her flamboyances were a mixture of middle finger and an open pair of legs to Levant."

All of these stand as masterful allusions and fit the tenor and theme of sexuality expressed by Rachel. Not everyone can write like you. It's a rare gift to write this way and fit the writing consistently into the total story.

There's more.

Annika

It's the next part of the episode that exposes Rachel's feelings and thinking, her deepest feelings. After Douglas' teasing they make love. Rachel attempts to keep him there beside her. Eventually Douglas leaves quickly and soon after that Rachel runs after him but her shoes are a hindrance. There's no need to explain Rachel's feelings or mood since it's obvious she realizes she wants a better goodbye and doesn't want him to leave angry and hurt. We can now see that a basic element in Douglas is hurt feelings, but it's a foreshadowing regarding what is deepest in him: he's crazy about Rachel and sees her as someone he loves. She may not recognize this yet, mired in her own struggles, but it's clearly evident to us as readers.

Then Charlie shows up, rather mysteriously, and after exchanges between Rachel and Charlie, Rachel agrees to have anal sex with Logan. Charlie provides the pressure by telling Rachel that without sex with Logan she won't be able to see Rachel again. Reluctantly, Rachel agrees. The next part of the scene is an intense and provocative scene as Charlie inserts the smallest of three butt plugs. I'm fascinated with my reaction: the writing is so intense and my arousal was also intense that once again it left me panting. Honestly I can't remember a similar scene that affected me in that way. We can see Rachel is well on her way for a penetrative sexual experience with Douglas.

But then, Ms. racheprice, you turn the episode on its head and surprise us again. The scene shifts to the rear seat of Levant's Range Rover, as Douglas hands Charlie those three butt plugs with the liquid interiors. What? Levant is the one giving Charlie the butt plugs with instructions to make sure Rachel uses them in order? I didn't see that one coming. Douglas' deepest feelings are now front and center: first, he will dispose of Hunter if needed; second, his fascination with Rachel is much deeper than expected; and third, Levant is suicidal. Douglas' suicidal thinking is perfectly written and true to life since he sounds and acts like someone deeply troubled. Not only is he mouthing the suicidal words but he is displaying the suicidal planning that goes along with it. This a deeply troubled man and his yearning for Rachel is the key for his survival, a key that Rachel doesn't recognize. The way this scene is written, with Charlie's easy attempts at reassurance, often happens and often results in not taking the suicidal person seriously. If any readers have known someone with suicidal ideation, you may recognize that by blocking his suicide thinking often is simply a matter of reassuring yourself. It's easy to reassure yourself but as Douglas affirms, "I'm not someone who is unwilling to carry out a threat." We can be sure he means Charlie to take his plans seriously. He even requests how he wants his body to be disposed and plans to consult his personal attorney. By this point, with Rachel so close to full transition, both physically and emotionally, this represents a tragedy about to unfold.

Finally, we hear Rachel's conversation with Cooper with the reminder that Rachel's surgeon is about to reappear. Not only is the Cooper conversation honest and direct regarding her view of herself as a woman but the surgeon reappearing in the story line is a perfect setup for Rachel's transition. Will the surgery happen in time to save Douglas' life? Or will Rachel realize too late that even with wealth some things in life can leave us bereft of those we love, of decisions not taken in a timely fashion?

I can't believe how much I've become attached to the lives of these characters but my own heart is very heavy.

Annika

@annika_unknown - reading your comments is the closest I get to reading the chapter with new eyes; you are such a blessing every writer needs an annika.

Its lovely when someone gets how fragile Rachel is. It's also Good to know I can still surprise readers.

Next chapter is in the pipe now. - I'm running behind, might only be one this week.

ps is it bad I'm still mortified about the Monaco race ????

The crux of Rachel's dilemma remains, as per Cooper's question: What is holding the balloon to the ground? What is the tether keeping Rachel from being the woman she obviously is? It's clear to everyone else and Douglas and Charlie are doing everything to move her in that direction. She applies all the feminine identifications to herself...what inner-deeper-secret continues to restrain her?

Great writing. Full of intrigue, romance, angst, and uncertainty. Very nicely done indeed.

Annika

Ms. racheprice, I'm humbled by your response. Writing is such an isolated, individual, and lonely activity. Any artistic activity is difficult because it's so isolated and lonely. When I read something like "The Rise of Rachel Price T-girl," something unique and insightful. picturing the autobiographical and unique parts of characters like these, I'm moved to give support since it's not likely that an author will likely get considered admiring responses. I've read plenty of novels, poetry, and non-fiction that called for negative responses (and I'm careful not to criticize the writing that's not very good) so that when I see something heart-warming and realistic along with writing that sparkles that means I should respond with warmth and appreciation.

Sites like LIterotica aren't likely to produce writing that's so well done. Yes, I realize that misspellings and mistakes can happen, but when the writing is so good it deserves all the support I can provide in my own, poor way. You have sparked my admiration and well as my own reflection and insights so this story is significant in a personal way as well as a hallmark of this genre. I mean no disrespect for the courage required for other stories here, but your writing is a personal pleasure.

We all have been given so much from your gift. It's a gift I hope you'll share with us, and especially me, in the future. Writing is difficult and simply having a story isn't enough. But a story coupled with insight is a real gift and a great pleasure. An additional gift is that this has required so many episodes. That gives you the opportunity to develop each character and to elucidate Rachel in warm, full colors. This couldn't be much better.

BTW, the race material regarding Monaco isn't a very big deal. Just treat it as another part of my somewhat weird nature!

Annnika

This was such a good story, but now Denver/Rachel dumb shit just does one thing after another to lock himself into more life without his family and even more with his gay, evil boyfriend. It was a great tale of David & Golioth, good versus evil. Now it's an asshole turning a straight kid gay and in the process the victim loses his brain cells along with his identity.

It's sad seeing Denver lose himself and his family for some lucky sperm club member who gets what he wants.

more of levant/cooper manipulation

Mil