The Rise of Rachel Price T-Girl Pt. 37

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"Or I could hang on, be the rich widow. I'd have a great number of men come after me. In the line of work I'm in, you meet a lot of people who are rich from birth. They are kind of weird people, you know. The heiresses I've met always have this tiny hard seed of doubt in their minds. Do they really want me or my money? It seems to totally zero out their self-confidence. Levant was like that; you could see he had all these carefully evolved defences. It's why they all know each other. You know they share that same kernel of doubt. That along with the knowledge that the other rich people must be genuine. Except you get a whole bunch of fakers. I think not being able to trust your instincts slowly corrupts you on the inside. You become these hollow shell people, always seeking love, never sure you get it, even when its there," Rachel said then paused in realisation.

"Anyway," Rachel continued, "I think the fact he controlled me was exactly why he dropped his defences. Yeah, I know that sounds weird. Sounds even weirder saying it aloud. He kind of made me."

Rachel paused, not wanting to add, "And, I think I kind of enjoyed it, which is why he knew he could love me."

Rachel felt herself crying with pathetic grief. The makeup she was wearing was all waterproof, but they still hadn't perfected grief-proof mascara.

"So yeah, I could join the shell people. I could enjoy it. Distract myself with charity work while grinding through one person after another like a snowplow in Aspen snow."

Rachel found herself holding Hunter's hand. She wasn't supposed to do it. The hospital had rules designed to protect patients. After all, someone in a coma couldn't consent, and the staff were breaking enough rules to let her come in. His hand was cold like a statue of a great man. Soon, a nurse came in, and Rachel looked up.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm leaving," Rachel said, sniffling. She noticed the nurses expression. Even the nurses on the thirteenth floor knew about Levant now. They knew what was happening. Rachel turned back to Hunter, "I was reading in some inflight magazine that they might have found a cure for what you have. I think you could look forward to being out of here..."

Rachel stood up while pretending to listen to Hunter.

"You're looking forward to being free.. yeah.. Yeah, I can get that. But you are also slightly worried if the world has changed too much while you were out. Yeah, I know how it feels."

*****************************

The luxurious hospital waiting room exuded an air of sophistication and comfort. The room was adorned with tasteful decor and elegant furnishings, featuring plush leather chairs with intricate designs and soft, velvet cushions. The color palette was a combination of soothing pastel tones and warm, gold accents, creating a sense of tranquility and opulence. It felt like a second home to Rachel now.

Lucy walked stiffly in the observation room. Rachel was dead, watching TV. She couldn't name the program, just some generic romance--it was about as much as she could handle. She was still in the wedding dress, though it had loosened up. She had switched to low pumps now. At some point, Rachel had developed a loathing for flats. She felt small in them, standing awkwardly. She didn't feel properly dressed. Levant had mentioned it was something she shared with his mother, Lidia. Lidia had once scolded Isabella over flats, and Rachel found herself standing there, nodding in agreement. They had bonded over it, but Rachel still couldn't pinpoint when that connection had developed.

Rachel felt like she had been passed through a mangle, then a mill. She felt squeezed thin like a tortilla. She was waiting for the moment she could start breathing again.

"There is another doctor, Gregor Samsa" Lucy said. "I want you to give permission for him to operate."

Rachel looked up. This was unusual because Lucy wasn't speaking in her usual snide tone. She was talking like a person.

"Why do you need my permission?" Rachel said muting the TV set.

"The other doctors aren't happy with this one. Samsa is a Russian. He used to be a doctor for the Olympic team. He got banned and then fired by the Russian's. He claims he's dealt with this kind of thing before. He wants to be paid a million dollars to do it, but the other doctors don't like him as he hasn't got medical clearance for this country. I can fix that, but I need the next of kin's permission."

"A million dollars sounds like a scam," Rachel said.

"A million if he succeeds," Lucy said. "Nothing but the flight if he loses."

Rachel looked up. "Do the other doctors think it's got a chance?"

"No," Lucy said. "They said if such a thing would work, they would've done it already. They say there's no medical basis why it would work. To be honest, Gregor Samsa was fired from the Russian Olympic team. I know I've got zero right to ask you this. This isn't about you winning or me losing. This is about him. It can't do any harm. But I want to know I've done everything for him. I've been strung out for too long, so have you. I'm asking you at this point, one woman to another, to act like a wife. Do this, and I will never ask for anything ever again. After this, you can fire me whenever you want, I won't care."

Rachel knew Lucy hated her guts and it would be worse if she denied her this chance. The real doctors had said he was sinking fast and only had a few hours left, if that. If Lucy needed to hire voodoo doctors to make herself feel better, then why stop her? In truth, Rachel found she was searching for excuses for Lucy when she should be looking for ways to excuse herself. She felt guilty thinking she was the cause.

Rachel gave in to her better nature, it was a small thing to do to make Lucy happy and then stop hating her.

"Sure. OK, let's give it a chance. Bring me the paperwork I'll sign it. "

*************************

Events

Rachel hadn't witnessed Gregor Samsa at work. She had been talking to Dr Cooper, who now he didn't have to push Levant's lies was surprisingly helpful. She lied and said Levant had taken the Viagra himself. During the private talk she missed the biopsy, and then a number of chemicals that were on no list approved by the FDA.

Later Rachel had overheard Dr. Johnston talking to another consultant. They felt Levant was dead already. If the family brought any medical case against the hospital, they would blame it on the Russian Samsa and the Family. The event was put down as an 'exercise accident', which was the kind of lie everyone, including Rachel, could sign up to, as it wasn't literally a total lie. Strange how even Levant's end was a convenient lie, it kind of suited him.

Every muscle ached, so Rachel had excused herself and tried to rest while Levant gave way to the inevitable. Later, Rachel was in bed, she had been trying to get some sleep with her pants off. Rachel had fondled Denver's balls. She wondered by this was the one and only organ apart from the brain which lived outside to the body. Every other organ was on the inside where it made sense. It was like it was a last minute addition by God or as if it was intended to be detachable. It wouldn't take much to be totally and irrefutably Rachel.

There was a gentle knock on the door, the sound echoing softly through the hushed hospital room.

"Mrs. Levant, can we speak?" came the calm voice of Dr. Johnson, the attending physician. Rachel still felt a shiver when people used "Mrs.".

Rachel took a deep breath, knowing this was the talk she had been expecting ever since her husband's condition took a turn for the worse.

"Sure," Rachel replied, sitting up with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity.

Dr. Johnson walked in, his expression professional yet compassionate. His eyes held a weight of experience from dealing with countless critical patients. "Your husband's condition hasn't declined as quickly as we expected," the doctor began, his tone measured.

Rachel paused, absorbing the words carefully. "That's good news," she said, trying to find a glimmer of hope amidst the uncertainty.

The doctor moved forward, his hands tucked into the pockets of his white coat. "I wouldn't go giving Samsa his fee just yet. It's coincidental. Near the end, you see final upturns, so brace yourself. He might recover enough to wake up briefly, say a few goodbyes if you're lucky," he explained gently, trying to temper expectations with realism.

"Okay," Rachel said, her voice tinged with a mix of relief and apprehension.

With a nod, the doctor made his excuses and left, leaving Rachel alone once again with her thoughts and emotions swirling like an untamed storm within her.

Rachel got up, got dressed, and found clothes, makeup, and medicine had been brought from the Asylum for her. There were some of her favorite clothes for waiting in and a black dress. The dress was somber and intended for the press statement. There was a temporary press room that had been set up downstairs. Rachel had a shower and then got dressed and ready. By the time she had breakfast, another report was given.

"Your husband seems stronger and is still improving. A rally before the end does happen, but it gives us hope." Dr Johnson had said. "We are trying a few more things."

Rachel spent all morning playing games on her phone. By lunchtime, she was told that his condition had improved to the extent that if she wanted to go home for a few hours to recover, she could do so. They had ended it with the ominous phrase, 'there is room for hope.' Dr Johnson still said the recovery was coincidental with the Russian Samsa's medication.

Rachel stayed. The morning passed into the afternoon. The witness window of the observation opened on Levant laying there. The way everyone moved was slightly less like morticians, but Levant looked the same.

*****

Later, in the subdued ambiance of the waiting room, Rachel found herself curled up on a sofa, her posture akin to that of a contented cat. With an iPad resting on her lap, she was engrossed in its screen, the device casting a soft glow on her features. Mid afternoon like came in from the window. Meanwhile, the door to the waiting room suite swung open, and Charlie's figure made an entrance.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Rachel's voice rippled through the room, a hint of irritation tinting her words as she looked up to find Charlie stepping inside.

Charlie, taking note of Rachel's reaction, inquired with a mixture of curiosity and concern, "What's up?"

Setting the iPad aside for a moment, Rachel glanced in Charlie's direction, her expression a blend of frustration and distraction. "I'm reading the contract."

Charlie, settling into a seat nearby, responded with a matter-of-fact tone, "You know the contract. You know the contract better than anyone."

Rachel offered a fleeting nod, her gaze fixating on a distant point as if navigating her thoughts. "I only skimmed the matrimony bit. I was pushed for time."

Charlie's eyebrows raised in both mild surprise and inquiry. "You didn't read that part of the contract?"

A sigh of exasperation escaped Rachel's lips as she met Charlie's gaze, a mixture of candor and self-deprecation evident in her eyes. "Well, yeah. Back then, I thought the smart thing to do was agree to anything in the event of marriage and then just refuse to get married. I managed to push a whole bunch of stuff in there. Now I'm screwed... yes, literally. I'm supposed to get the nose job and something on my jaw. If they can figure out a way of making me shorter agree to it. The worst part is I'm held by the contract until one of us dies or there is a divorce. I'm so drastically screwed. There are moths with better long term futures than mine."

In response, Charlie, a calming presence, knelt down beside Rachel, her proximity imbued with reassurance. "Relax. It's not like he's going to recover."

A wry smile tugged at the corner of Rachel's lips. "News flash. The latest update reads, 'Vital signs are improving. There is cautious optimism in the team.'"

Charlie's eyes widened, caught between surprise and intrigue. "Really?" She said, sitting down.

A dry chuckle escaped Rachel, humor mingling with her weariness. "Lucy is walking around brimming. How are things on your end?"

Charlie looked over. "Terrible. Abercromby the butt plug is making a real power play. The whole Thornbury group is in a terrible state. I don't know who has been auditing the books, but we are up to our necks in every kind of fraud possible. The IRS would shut us down. The investors are being fucked as much as you are. That's not for broadcast, you understand. Any hint of weakness, and this paper tiger is going to get ripped up."

"So his billions are a scam?" Rachel said.

"No," Charlie replied, "when you have an empire built on real estate, finance, and hotels, the value is like art. Real but more about what people think it's worth. The key part is you can have a financially strong company one day, and then something like the pandemic comes along, and you're actually sitting on a lot of debt."

Rachel leaned back. "And with that, I've finally clocked big business."

"Can I have a look?" Charlie said reaching for the iPad. She had been speed reading for practically five days straight this sounded easy. Rachel handed the iPad over and Charlie began reading the section. The much-discussed nose operation was in there. She agreed to Levant's story of events. Rachel had signed over any and all decisions over cosmetic surgery to him. Levant could change what he wanted on her. Some agreements over self-hypnosis and self brainwashing. Also clauses on children. The time limit was removed as Rachel knew.

Charlie looked up "Well, I'll point out. You still have to agree to have the gender confirmation surgery. There doesn't look like any prenuptial agreement so you get half of everything on divorce. It looks like he's trying to get around the sex clauses in a contract. That's your best bet. I'll get some real lawyers to look at it,get some real experts to shred it up."

Just then, Samantha walked in. She had been appearing and disappearing like a fairy godmother all day, managing her business while tending to the Rachel's needs as best she could.

"The crowds of supporters are thinning out. What's happening?" Samantha inquired.

Rachel lifted her gaze from her thoughts, her eyes meeting Samantha's. "It looks like all those thoughts and prayers are actually working. It seems like he's recovering. Meanwhile, I'm in screwed."

"Shit," Samantha remarked, taking a seat beside Rachel. "That must be really difficult for you."

Charlie glanced over at them. "It sounds like we could all use a drink. Let's sneak out."

Samantha turned to Rachel, seeking her opinion. Rachel nodded in agreement. "Yeah, what more could go wrong?" Her words accompanied by a sense of resignation.

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rachepriceracheprice9 months agoAuthor

@Annika, your comments are always a delightful and provocative read. It's fascinating to learn about Churchill's comment – something I never knew. I find myself now possibly at the mistress/master stage, or even the Tyrant, although I did genuinely feel remorseful about submitting to the SRS chapter, which might make me the Tyrant. Strangely, I hesitated to proceed with it for her, even though she's fictional. This culmination has been building up for a while (the hunter/the organ machine chapter was quite a long time ago), and it's essential for Rachel's journey to conclude. I often ponder how Voltaire subjected Candide to such extensive tribulations, although it had a comedic essence. Just a few more steps remain, and as promised, there's the unforgettable chapter followed by the wonderful ending.

I've also cherished this journey and am already planning another book, 'A Walk on the Wild Side' – one that, as mentioned, will be closer to a true Trans novel. Kafka's Samsa undoubtedly mirrors Rachel, but by reversing the original Samsa, I'm starting to perceive novel aspects in the book.

I'm intrigued by the notion of unsettling erotica; the website's title is 'literary erotica,' implying a need for some thought-provoking (literary) content. You've likely deduced that my favorite artists include Jenny Holzer, whose 'Truisms' encompass short, challenging statements that question societal norms and are often displayed in unconventional spaces, like receipts. Also, Keith Haring, the American pop artist emerging from NYC's 1980s graffiti subculture, and certainly Mel Chin's GALA committee, which covertly integrated conceptual artworks into the popular Soap Opera 'Melrose Place' during the 1990s (the bedsheet featuring a black and white block print of used condoms was my favorite). So I'm quite happy to pervert errotca with a little art. Thus, it's truly heartening to know that you're enjoying the content.

Lastly, I must express that 'We still can never shed the dictates of DNA' is an immensely insightful and profound assertion – a sentiment I could elaborate on at length."

annika_unknownannika_unknown9 months ago

I must see events and fiction in different terms than most other people. i read some of my responses over the course of the story and my responses focus on the characters, their motivations, and the ethical dimensions exposed by your writing. Other responses seem to focus on the plot line only. Sigh. It's been like this forever.

I'll admit this episode caught me by surprise. I'll also admit that there have been lots of foreshadowing. Levant has always been a character who takes revenge on those that oppose him, sometimes cruelly. His treatment of Hunter is a glaring example. This episode was mostly composed of Samantha urging Rachel to leave, which Rachel refused to do. At this point Rachel has turned a corner when the opportunity to go back is blocked. Yes, I also recognize that the brutality of Levant's actions is the story's point. I also recognize that the "living organ machine" is pure fiction. There are no such machines and there is no medical point in having one in the real world. Gregor seems like a monomaniacal monster without scruples but Levant is similar. Once again it serves the purpose of the story. We all wish a tragic and gruesome end for Levant and for Gregor. You can include the Rev. Fitts in that too. Hitler and Stalin never seemed to reflect on their evil actions either although the went to great lengths to hide those actions from the world.

These characters represent types modeled on people with deep flaws, even evil ones. Reverend Fitts is the most misdirected only because he seems to believe the nonsense he manufactures. Fitts, however, is a type of "religious" leader we all know too well: someone who twists Christianity into a rule-bound faith. Of course, many, if not most Christians seem to see their religious practice as rule-bound for themselves and for others. Those Christians also see Christianity as a moral absolute, that is, a faith proclaiming an absolutist ethic supposedly applied to all other humans. Whether Levant really believes the nonsense that Rachel was "sent by God" as if God was closely focused on every single human is beside the point. If Levant believes it then it serves to feed into his monomaniacal delusions.

In a perfectly ethical universe where evil is answered with punishment these evil character flaws would be punished. But that universe only appears on television. Life doesn't operate that way. So Ms. racheprice, you are also describing the problem of evil in the world. How do you manage such much nuance and deep perceptions in this story? Maybe I'm one of the few to see these things but your "The Rise of Rachel Price t-girl" has both plot twists along with theological, medical, philosophical conundrums (conundra?) that are more complex than I would ever have expected! Even Immanuel Kant would be intrigued!

Nice work.

Annika

annika_unknownannika_unknown9 months ago

Yep. I did it too! I wrote, "Art, by its very nature is a lonely experience. Is it an addition?" That really makes no sense. It should be, "Art, by its very nature is a lonely experience. Is it an addiction?" Addiction, ADDICTION. Easy to do and I apologize for not editing my own writing better! BTW, I read through the last entry three times and never saw my own screw-up... We all do it and it could be we were better off with pencil and paper in the third grade!

annika_unknownannika_unknown9 months ago

i haven't read "The Metamorphosis" in years, possibly because of my disgust with cockroaches, but certainly due to my sadness and heartbreak at seeing Gregor Samsa mistreated and forgotten by his family. There are so many interpretations of this story and some are very fanciful. Some of those interpretations seem to from a cauldron of Freudian doctrine. It's easy to go overboard with Freud and with social and political interpretations.

Your story, Ms racheprice, has so many political and gender issues in it that I can see why you might have been taken by the reference to Samsa, although I missed the "Metamorphosis" reference at first.

It seems to me, at this late stage, that Rachel is indeed a mirror metamorphosis. Kafka creates an ugly, repellent creature, Rachel is the opposite: desirable in every way. But Rachel is trapped too, just like Kafka's Samsa. He couldn't free himself and neither can Rachel, although she has some pleasant options while Kafka's animal has nothing like it. Each of us, especially me, is jealous of Rachel. At the same time, Rachel recognizes the gender trap she's in while most of us would rather dive headlong into gender change without considering the psycological/theological,social/etc. consequences. In other words, Rachel sees the identity questions clearly but is trapped by them. That may leave her lonely and cut off from her family. We see Denver as a poor, restricted soul and see Rachel with so much opportunity and beauty.

Rachel understands the distance created by the gender issues. After all, sex is just sex (well, almost) but sex, gender, and identity are so wrapped together that none of us can separate one from the other very clearly. So our own biology traps us in male/female patterns that betray our identity. We still can never shed the dictates of DNA although we explore our identity with more clarity than most CIS persons.

All of that struggle is both a blessing and a curse to us in the out or the closet LBGTQ+ world. We see ourselves clearly but the straight world little understands. Apparently our explorations and gender questions must frighten the straight portion of society since our appearance often causes violence and derision.

I think Vladimir Nabokov has it about right. His experience and genius ability afforded him the opportunity to think of Kafka as an artist and an author. Gregor Samsa mirrors the author's isolation and loneliness. It's isolation from others is part of the author's experience and that left Kafka with misunderstanding and isolation. I suspect Nabakov, after writing "Lolita" experienced the same thing: brilliant art but a stumbling block to the society needed to support his art. I'm not a knowledgeable critic of Nabakov but I can imagine what it must have been like when the novel appeared. It must have been very frustrating and frightening and he may have wanted to throw up hands and think about being a plumber. Art, by its very nature is a lonely experience. Is it an addition? I can't be sure but all of us would be very poor without it.

Ms. racheprice, as an author you face similar questions. You're writing for an audience on a typical porn site and all of us, and i mean ALL of us read Literotica for the sexual fantasy here. You have accomplished something momentous by publishing something that encompasses sex but that sexual something, in your hands, is a vehicle for exploring gender. For us, as readers, that deepens our experience and offers each of us a framework to make meaning from private thoughts and feelings that can't be expressed easily and that we find difficult to express to others unless it's in the guise of some psychological "therapy." So your understanding of Gregor Samsa is understandable and serves as deeply personal. Oddly you have elucidated issues in me that were only vaguely connected but now I understand clearly. That is a great pleasure but also exposes painful expressions in my life. So if I now see why others react to me and misunderstand me, this story also provides a framework of clear understanding. As I mentioned earlier, I'll write about some of my personal journey in private emails when "The Rise of Rachel Price t-girl" concludes.

No, I'm in no hurry to see this story end. I'd love it if it continued for several more years but as Churchill famously said, "Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then a master, then a becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your seviitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public." He made fun of it. But your writing is deeply personable. All of readers, or nearly all, love you for your effort.

Annika

rachepriceracheprice9 months agoAuthor

@annika_unknown Reading your words in the chapter is always a delight. Your efforts in reading seem to best my efforts writing. Thank you for all your kind words, as they make the effort of writing a pure pleasure. We are now hurtling toward the end.

As for Levant's finances, he is expecting the income from the delivery of Project Zeitgeist to fill up his coffers from his backers. Hence, he's raiding things like the pension savings – which I guess is illegal after Robert Maxwell did it to prop up his newspaper empire, but it's close enough.

Did Levant plan this? Well, he could have. He owns the hospital; he would make money from shorting the shares but didn't tell Charlie. You might do that to make sure, unless he didn't trust Charlie, but then he was taking a risk of her not doing it. Also, it's not a good look during an election, as you cannot be sure how the electorate will respond. On the plus side, he would find out who was standing with him and who would turn, but is it really a good time? The next chapter will reveal all.

Thanks for your concern about Rachel (now Mrs. Levant). She is now more trapped than she ever was. You do, however, have great insight (as always) into the fundamental issues being brought up. Gender is truly the core issue, and I think making a decision on who you actually are from a gendered perspective is at the heart of the text. Normally, Denver would never have examined himself, but he's now forced to and comes up with conclusions that wouldn't be that different.

For those of you wondering, yes, Gregor Samsa is a deliberate and explicit reference to the 1915 book 'Metamorphosis' by Franz Kafka, not the band of the same name. Not so much the character in this book; Gregor Samsa is a bit of a cockroach (pun intended), but the notion of metamorphosis in general. To some extent, Rachel Price is like a mirror metamorphosis. Except Denver didn't wake up as Rachel. I quite like it because you occasionally get comments demanding Levant to be harder on Rachel, which keeps reminding me of Mr. Samsa in the novel for some reason.

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