The Rose Diaries v02 Ch. 02

"Yeah, it sucks." She sighed sadly. "But I was given a task I have to see through."

"Lily!" He screamed. He could feel her wiggling down there until she stopped moving deeper and relented in her assault. "Fucking stop!"

"You can't curse at your seniors, okay? Look, I'll be done in a minute. Just loosen up, will you?"

"GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF MY ASS!" He shrieked letting his spittle hit her face. He would've pushed her away but the very idea of causing her to further damage him made his legs tremble and his breath grow weak.

"Just a bit..." He voice trailed off and she withdrew her finger and inspected it for a moment. He could still feel her inside of him. He could still feel every inch that she had stolen from him. "Okay done."

"You fucking bitch." He raised a fist towards her, but she quickly grabbed hold of his wrist and pressed her lips to his cheek.

"Believe me, this was not fun for me either. Also, that's the most comfortable way to do that. When you're loosened up a bit more and experienced, you'll see."

"I trusted you." He could feel his anger rising. "I trusted you and you treated me like some sort of faggot?"

"Whoa." She pushed off of him. "Listen, don't do this. I know it's rough but-"

"Get the fuck away from me, you faggot barbie bitch!" He lashed out his arms in hopes of catching her once again. "Stay away!"

"We have to obey our superiors." She sighed. "Even when they ask us to do something we're uncomfortable with."

"Our superiors? Those demented plastic bimbo cunts?" All of the color drained from her face as she attempted to rush towards him once again. He could taste the bile mixing with the fading flavor of her lips as he swung wildly at the air in front of them.

"You need to calm down. You can yell at me, but you can't say that stuff."

"Fuck off!" He couldn't tell if the heat was getting to him or his anger, but his vision began to blur, and pressure began to build behind his eyes.

"You're crying."

"It's sweat!" He screamed back in denial.

"It's okay to cry."

"It's sweat!"

"Listen, it'll be okay."

"Shut up!" He blinked away the "sweat" before he stumbled wildly away from her. "Just shut up."

"I had to do this too..." She whispered.

"AND THAT MAKES IT, OKAY?!" He roared back at her pitiful deflection. What she had just done, what he had just been put through, none of it could just be ignored or excused. None of it could just simply be accepted as routinely as she wanted.

"No." Her voice was full of sadness for just a moment.

"Just stay away from me." He bared his teeth at her once more.

Then there was silence for just a moment until he saw through the haze of his anger as she walked over to the edge and lifted herself out of the bath.

"Welcome to the game." Her voice was so quiet he damn near didn't hear it.

"I didn't ask for this." He called back to her, but she didn't answer. Instead, she just vanished behind the frosted glass.

"I didn't ask to be a part of this."

There was only silence in response.

"I am a human being!" He pounded on his chest with his right hand so hard he could feel the shock reverberate through his entire being.

"You cannot do this!"

He waited for a response but when none came he could only release all the tension building within him in the only sensible manner.

"FUCK YOU." He roared to the heavens. Peter did not want a response, in fact he didn't expect one, his words were so muddled with venomous contempt that it was barely even recognizable as English. He glanced down at his own pitiful reflection in the water. He watched as the tears slowly dripped down his face, how his own lips quivered, and his once pale complexion was red with fury and humiliation.

"You stupid motherfucker." He cursed quietly to it. "You could've had everything. You could've been anything."

He slapped the reflection aside with a sniffle. He didn't wait for it to reform as he slowly trudged over to the opposite end of the bath and ascended the small steps out to dry land.

Peter steeled himself for what lay beyond the glass divider. He condensed his pride, his anger, and his despair into a virulent ball of conflict and then swallowed it all into the deepest recesses of his being. It was bitter and filled his entire mouth with a sour tang that made him want to gag. Peter hated the feeling of unresolved emotions, he hated keeping his mouth shut for the sake of others, he despised not being himself.

But this was not the time for a tantrum nor was it the time to let those emotions sway him. He remembered a scene from "Blossom Creek", a small indie horror film that he had seen last winter. It was halfway through the film when one of the side characters ran screaming in horror and anger after she discovered her boyfriend cheating on her with another woman. She, knowing that others had vanished into the woods around the creek, ran headfirst into danger because she was too busy being irrational and self-centered.

Then she was stabbed seventy-two times off-screen by the spirit and hung for the protagonist to find.

All because she couldn't keep her emotions in check.

It was not something he wanted to imitate or replicate. He needed to be smarter than this. For his own fucking sake.

Peter's wet footsteps slapping against the hard floor reverberated through the room. He could still see her from behind the pane of glass. She wasn't facing him instead she was sitting on the floor with her legs crossed waiting with her back turned.

As he reached for the door, it was as if the world froze for just a single moment as his inner demons reared their ever-convincing heads.

There was nothing to stop him from finishing what they had started out there. She was unaware, unprotected, and would be unable to fight him back if he got one single good blow to the back of her head.

It sounded so appealing. To see that freak bleed out after what she did to him. After how she had simultaneous attempted to court him to her side and betray him in one breath. How she spoke platitudes and comfort with one side of her mouth all while speaking in the same despicable manner as those bitches out the other. It would be utterly fitting for her to die at his hands now.

At the very least she deserved it.

But...then what? What could he do after all that? He'd just be here still with his hands bloodied and in a worse position than before.

Alone, afraid, and open for more their abuse. If he sated his thirst for revenge, it would only make his life hell. If, and only if, they didn't outright kill him for his assault on her.

He wanted to scream as his mind settled on the only available option and just like that time began to move once more as he grit his teeth before pulling open the door to the divider.

"Hey Fa-" He caught the insult in his throat and swallowed it back where it belonged. "Lily."

"Oh hey." She spoke sadly. "You finished washing up?"

"I guess." He took a step closer towards her making sure he walked gingerly and carefully. He tensed his muscles in case she had other plans beside sitting there.

"That's cool." Her voice was dejected and riddled with sadness. Her body trembled with the sound of each step, but she was quick to compose herself.

"What now?"

"We dry off." He took another step closer and then stopped for a moment. Was she afraid of him now?

"Did you mean what you said? About-"

"Yes." She was quick to interrupt him. "I meant every word I spoke to you. I just hope you'll listen to me even after what I've done."

"Oh." He didn't know what to say. He could feel the acidic bite of his anger returning every time she interrupted him. But he just had to swallow it and continue to the smart thing.

"I'm sorry." Lily apologized. "I wasn't thinking about how you would feel. Certain things just become routine."

"Ok." Another simple answer as he approached ever closer.

"Are you scared of me now?" He nearly burst out into laughter at the question but instead he just came within arm's reach of her and sat down on the cold floor.

"No."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Will you let me dry you?" She asked, rather, begged in that saccharine high pitched voice of hers.

"I'm not too keen on being touched." It was all he could say without betraying how he truly felt. His skin bristled at the mere touch of the air let alone another human. He should've pushed her away when he had a chance. If he did, perhaps the ache in his stomach wouldn't be present.

"I understand." She answered. "Can I speak honestly with you?"

"As long as you don't touch me."

Lily's hand fell to the ground as she turned fully to face him. Even though her voice radiated sadness, she was still wearing that porcelain mask of delight that made him feel nothing but revulsion. He didn't believe that she could be honest. Not when she was so literally too faced. Promises of help and trust and then...

Whatever she was a few minutes ago.

"I know you must hate me for what I did because I hate myself for doing it. But you have to understand that there are certain things that need to be done. I'll get in trouble for speaking so bluntly with you later, but I don't want to do the things that I did. This is all pushed and willed upon me by them."

"Okay." He scoffed rolling his eyes at her strange words. She had a choice in the matter. Even those "just following orders" were at blame. It was a weak and flimsy deflection at guilt and personal responsibility.

"You don't believe me?" A flash of anger streaked through her mask. "You don't believe that I wouldn't do it if I had no other option?"

"I believe you." He lied. She continued to look at him, mouth nearly agape, until she shook herself out of her stupor. Her entire body language from the way that she crossed her arms to the slight shifting she did on the floor betrayed her façade completely.

Even an idiot could see she was absolutely livid.

"Ok." She responded.

"Alright then." He gave a small laugh. It wasn't out of enjoyment but of mounting nervousness at the rising tension. As much as he craved the idea of smashing her head in, he didn't want to actually engage in a real fight with her. The very idea of having to trade real physical blows in this state was daunting to say the least. Without another word, she turned and grabbed hold of something behind her quickly yanked it forward. His synapses fired off warning shots of imminent danger as he tensed himself for the coming strike. Only to immediately relax when he spotted the white gleam of a simple towel in her hand. With an almost supernatural grace she began to gently dry herself off before lowering her head and draping it completely over it.

"You need to think two steps ahead of them. Feign submission while hiding your aggression, acting as ordered while hiding your emotions, say what you want while saying what they want. That is the only way that you'll survive alongside us. Otherwise, you will break. You will be fucking shattered into thousands of little pieces of ego. Don't be an idiot." Her voice returned that lower-than-a-whisper quality. It was so quiet that even less than a foot away, he could barely even hear her words.

"What are you saying?" He leaned in ever closer. Without any hesitation, she tossed the towel up and over his own head.

It was like a completely different person was beneath the towel. Hardened eyes of green that hid oceans of disgust, anger, and hatred that made his blood run cold. A scowl that screamed defiance and fury. In pure animalistic instinct, he reverted his gaze immediately. Even the quickest glance made him begin to sweat and shake in pure fear. It wasn't that she was staring through him. Every cell in his body was screaming one word.

Run.

For she wasn't beautiful, she wasn't delicate, she wasn't a doll.

She was a monster. Truly and honestly, a monster that would not hesitate to grab hold of his ankles and drag him screaming into the darkness so that she could eat him whole. With a quick grip, she grabbed hold of his head and held him for just a moment.

"You need to give in but don't ever give up."

She flicked the towel back over her own head as the words vanished into the air around them. The light of the room filled his eyes once more and he blinked. He only blinked once, just once, and when his eyes readjusted there was no sign of that monster any longer.

There was just the girl with the bright eyes and the white smile who gazed at him with both fear and compassion.

He didn't know what to say, he just kept staring at her blankly until she stood back up and wrapped herself in another towel and walked away.

What could he say? Every instance of sensible thought was robbed from him and all that remained was just the unceasing chill that the mere memory of that gaze has left him.

He never was on equal footing to begin with. In fact, he felt certain in his heart of hearts that if she wanted to, if she were truly serious about it, she could have easily killed him without a second thought.

"Trouble does seem to follow you, doesn't it Princess?" His entire body froze. The voice radiated pure cruelty and a flash of that terrible pain tore through him. He didn't even notice her! He turned his gaze towards the now open door and standing within the threshold with that all-too-familiar sinister glare was the unmistakable silhouette of Miss K.

"Hello, Miss K." Lily nearly dropped to the ground as she prostrated herself in front of her.

"My dear Lily," Miss K. strode deeper into the room and beside her. Her voice was different when she addressed her this time. It was full of disappointment and motherly admonishment. "You performed predictably. You are excused for now. Take your things and leave us."

"At once, Miss K." Lily scrambled to her feet and then was simply gone before he could even say a single word.

"She speaks too freely but I suppose that is Lily for you. A free spirit to the end." Miss K. came further into the room before walking over to one of the closets. There was a sort of seductive dexterity in the way that she walked. It was eerily similar to Lily but hers was far more mature. Like she walked on an invisible catwalk for an unseen audience. Lily may have been a model, but this was truly her stage.

"To the end?" He bit his tongue in anger at his reflexive answer.

"I have to wonder if that's something you are enabling." Miss K. mused before returning back towards him with a robe in hand.

He didn't answer.

"I do so hope you enjoyed your time with Lily." She tossed the robe down towards him and then placed a hand on her hip. "Dress."

He all too quickly obliged her command. Peter was more than happy to have something covering his shame once more. The soft cotton robe felt like heaven against his bare skin and his modesty was once again regained.

"We're leaving." He shakily returned to his feet and as soon as he found himself back upright Miss K. took hold of his arm firmly in hers and began to lead him out of the bathroom.

All he could think about however was how oddly warm her touch was even as her grip nearly cut off the blood to his forearm.

Fuck, he was such a coomer.

He didn't even bother to squirm or get away. He knew that anything he did would aggravate this horrible bitch into violence.

Eventually, however, she would have her reckoning. That at least filled him with enough joy to keep soldiering on.

He tried to catalogue their walk in his head. Outside of the bathroom they were immediately back into the hallway and then she whisked him further up into the bowels of the house. It seemed that with each step the house itself grew more malicious. The lights seemed to grow dimmer, the ambient noise of life came to a silent halt, and the decorations grew sparser.

It all seemed to lead towards a large imposing door flanked by two unlit candelabras. Miss K. stopped outside of them before gently laying a hand against the darkened wood. With a heavy groan, the doors swung inwards and into pitch blackness as far as he could see. Peter could only even make out the red carpet beneath his feet that was lining the floor even further in, but his vision couldn't pierce the darkness five feet in front of him. Inside, directly next to the door, was a small table that held only two items.

One was a soft pink unlit candle and directly next to it was a silver lighter with a floral engraving.

"Stand still." Miss K. ordered again as she released him and gingerly picked up the items. With a flick of the wrist, she opened and sparked the lighter. For a moment, the room was blanketed in the soft glow of the fire.

It was an empty room. There were no decorations, no lights, no furniture aside from the small table set off to the side. It was just an empty space. But what gave him pause, what caused his throat to run dry, was how absolutely deep the room was. It was a narrow long corridor that must have gone on for twenty feet or more. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he saw something glittering just at the end against the wall.

Then she flicked the lighter closed and thrust the lit candle towards him.

"Take it."

He obliged without a second thought and she pushed him gently ahead of her.

"You will walk forward until I tell you to stop. You will not turn around, you will not speak, and you will do so in a prompt manner. I will keep one hand on your shoulder at all times and you will not make any sudden or erratic movements. If you disobey me here, you will be disciplined. You may nod if you agree with the terms."

Peter had no choice but to nod. He felt her hand on his shoulder and slowly began to march ever deeper into the room.

The room was not barren. Instead, it was lined with paintings of beautiful young women playing, laughing, dancing, and living in opulent settings. There was a figure who appeared in each of the paintings. A beautiful woman with pale skin and light hair with rosy cheeks and lips. She wore a white gown with two magnificent wings that extended from her back. In every scene, she was bathed in light and it seemed that the girls were congregating around her.

"Stop." She slowly turned him towards the wall to his right. There was a small, raised platform with another unlit candle set in a silver engraved pillar-shaped holder. Beside it was a large bowl filled with what appeared to be water being held upright by two delicate carved hands. Miss K. grabbed hold of a ladle at the side of the bowl and raised it to her lips without hesitation.

"You tread the same path as hundreds of your sisters before you. You stand in the same place as those who served this house with grace, honor, and love. Those who made this world a brighter and more beautiful place. We thank your previous sisters for their service and in return, we pray that they guide you, love you, and welcome you with open arms."

She raised the ladle gently towards him.

"Drink and accept their blessing."

It was all a farce. He couldn't believe his ears. What sort of devil-worshipping-hell cult did she belong to? What fucking nonsense was she babbling but he just swallowed his anger once more and drank.

Peter thanked the heavens that it was just water that flowed down his throat.

"Very good." Miss K.'s voice was quiet now. It seemed almost pleased with him. Though before he could analyze it further, she grabbed hold of his hand and lit the candle next to the bowl.

"We continue." She said before whisking him further down the hall. He counted his steps this time in his head. The darkness of the room seemingly retreating against the bastion of light that the candle provided. He felt her hand on his shoulder once more and he stopped again.

"Give me the candle." He handed off the source of light to her and she turned him to face the wall once more. Instead of a bowl and candle, this time there were what appeared to be charms hung on golden chains. He spied flowers, stars, squares, and small rings of all sizes. Miss K. gently touched the candle's flames to an unlit candle perched on the wall beside all the gold and then shook it out. His eyes drifted for just a moment until he spied a small golden heart that seemed to be turning ever so slightly in the still air of the dark room.