The Rum Swizzle Matter

I, Connor Hager, had been married to Valera Hager, nee Martinelli, for only six months when as 23 years-old we moved into a garden apartment complex in Northern Virginia. The complex included seven two story buildings having substantially the same layout, a swimming pool, a recreation center, and a small maintenance building. Some of the buildings were new, but the apartment that we moved into, #205 in building A, was among the oldest. Valera had come from a wealthy family and me from a middle class one. We met in college where I was on a lacrosse scholarship.

In some ways Valera and I were mismatched. In addition to the wealth of our parents there were physical and personality differences. I am big (six feet four inches, 225 pounds) and had only dated large women before Valera; she is small (five feet three inches, 115 pounds) and had never date a guy taller than six feet before me. I got a degree in business administration; she got a degree in graphic arts. I loved sports; she tolerated them. She loved opera, I hated it. However, we were of equal intelligence, loved kayaking and other outdoor activities (as long as we weren't camping), and we both loved stage plays and the same types of books and movies.

I did think that Valera had some drawbacks -- just like she probably thought that I did.

The first drawback was that her family was in my view overprotective and she either didn't recognize that or didn't care. After I proposed and she accepted I had to make it crystal clear to her parents -- primarily her father Vito -- that we would NOT be accepting money from them aside from normal gifts at appropriate gift giving times. Valera didn't understand that, but since it was really important to me she went along with it, and her mother Gina eventually seemed to admire me for it.

The second drawback was that she was the jealous type, and not particularly trusting. If I had known how "radical" these personality traits were before we got married there would have been a pre-nuptial confrontation and who knows how that would have come out. I only learned a month to six weeks after the wedding about the two instances that occurred after we got engaged but before we got married. The first I was told about by an ex-girlfriend of mine when I by chance ran into her before we moved to Northern Virginia, and the second her mother Gina let slip when I was talking with her one-on-one.

Kate, my ex-girlfriend, had dumped me a year before I met Valera. She wasn't brutal about it, and I understood her reasoning, especially since she was two years older than I was. Valera knew about her -- obviously after doing some investigation because I rarely mentioned her -- and approached her to get her to "test" me. I don't know all of the reasons why Kate agreed to help Valera, but based upon the information I got I do know that it involved the exchange of some money and other consideration, probably a job interview that Valera's father Vito setup for her. Anyway, regardless of how it came about Kate visited me when I was at home on a break from school after Valera and I gotten engaged and begged me to take her back. She even tried what had previously been a sure-fired seduction technique. I never even seriously considered it even though I still had feelings for Kate, and shot her down.

In the event inadvertently revealed by Gina I found out that at Valera's urging Vito hired a "relationship testing" firm to test me with their top female operative. I found it strange that when I was alone at a minor league baseball game (because Valera cancelled at the last minute) that a woman any hetero male would consider a 10 hit on me. She was subtle but really provocative at the same time. While I was very pleasant to her I made it clear that I wasn't interested -- which seemed to somewhat shock her.

Oh -- I almost forgot -- despite her drawbacks Valera had one other thing going for her.

Gina had Valera when she was twenty one. The saying is so overused that it is trite, but in this case true -- Gina looked like Valera's older sister, not her mother. I'm a believer in "Look at your wife's mother because that's what she'll look like in twenty years." If, as I believe, it's true, I would be one happy guy twenty years from now if still married to Valera because Gina is as hot as a Roman Candle. Also, after a few rough patches at the start I really got along well with Gina, although I never got along with Vito.

***************

In our apartment building there were eight units on the second floor, #s 201-208. In #206, immediately across the hall from us, lived Ron and Eva Miller, a couple that we commonly exchanged greeting with but weren't actually friends with.

Eva Miller could easily be mistaken for Valera from the back especially since her hair was the same color brown as Valera's (even with auburn highlights) and they both wore their hair shoulder length, and her bubble butt was almost identical to Valera's. I subsequently found out that Eva was exactly Valera's height with an almost identical shape except that she was five pounds heavier, and it seemed that all of that extra weight was in her tits. They were probably the largest I had ever seen live on a 5 foot 3 inch tall otherwise slim woman. Her face was much different than Valera's however; even though she was decent looking Valera's face is significantly more beautiful (Valera's face looks just like that of the famous Italian model Monica Bellucci when she was Valera's age). Also Eva is about five years older than Valera and I are.

Ron is a five foot eight or nine thin good looking guy about the same age as Eva.

The party that resulted in the title of this story occurred at the end of April about two weeks after we had moved into our apartment. There was a real hot spell, and the old HVAC equipment in Building A had not been switched over to air conditioning, or otherwise was not working, because our apartment was stifling as we got ready to go to a party in Building G, the newest in the complex, where the air conditioning was working. The party was hosted by a couple that we knew in college and had moved to our complex a year before we had (in fact it was on their recommendation that we looked here). The party was at 7:00 p. m. on a Friday, so I assumed that there would be significant food there; I was wrong.

I kept waiting for food to be served, but only snacks were: pretzels, potato chips, and a few nuts that were quickly snarfed up. What were served were rum swizzles, which was likely the tastiest drink that I had ever had.

I normally rarely drink alcohol. In fact if I have two beers or one rum and coke I universally cut myself off. Because of that, before that Friday night at the end of April I had never been drunk in my life.

It was a really lively and fun party, without a single asshole, everyone was in a good mood, and the swizzles didn't taste like they had any alcohol at all in them. That meant that I got totally wasted for the first time in my life. Valera was feeling no pain either. We were both so drunk that the host and hostess had to help us back to our apartment, fortunately a short walk.

Valera and I were even too bombed to shower. As hot as it was, we did apparently take off all of our clothes and lay on top of the bed.

I woke up sometime in the early morning hours, most likely about 3 a. m., with the urgent need to pee. I got up, exited the bedroom, and turned left -- the direction the bathroom door was in the apartment we were in for a few months before we moved to Northern Virginia. Unfortunately in Apartment #205 the bathroom door was to the right. In my drunken stupor I opened the first door that I came to on the left, and it wasn't until I heard it "click" behind me that I realized that I was standing in the hallway of our apartment building, stark naked and locked out of my apartment.

I tried knocking on the door to wake Valera, but being drunk herself she wasn't responding. I did have the wherewithal not to literally pound the door -- not that it would have helped anyway -- since that could wake the rest of the tenants and expose my naked ass to them.

After Valera didn't respond to as much knocking as I dared to do, the reason that I was out of my bedroom -- my need to pee -- made itself known in spades. At least I was conditioned enough by my proper upbringing not to pee in the hallway, so I dragged myself downstairs, walked into some bushes, and relieved myself.

After I did my business I noticed a public phone booth about twenty yards away. I thought that maybe I could coax an operator to call Valera's cellphone and that might wake her up. The phone booth was probably the only one in Northern Virginia that still had an operating overhead light, but I couldn't help that my nakedness might be seen, so I entered it. Even though the light was working the phone wasn't.

I stumbled back up the stairs of my apartment building intent on making one more attempt to wake Valera up. I started my knocking and stage-whispering again, and fortunately this time the door opened. "What the hell," Valera said.

"I'll tell you tomorrow," was my drunken reply as I pushed past her, caromed off the walls in our apartment a few times, and then fell flat on our bed. For some reason Valera was shaking me and telling me to get up, but I was too out of it to react, and ultimately she stopped and I passed out more than went to sleep.

When I awoke to bright sunshine the next morning I was a little perplexed because our bedroom window faced the West, not the East, so we didn't really get bright morning sun; but given how my head was throbbing the thought just fleetingly passed through my mind. I turned my head away from the window and saw Valera next to me, facing the opposite wall. She was under just a sheet, although her brunette hair with auburn streaks and part of her naked back were visible. I lifted up the sheet to behold her perfect naked ass, and despite my throbbing headache my male member started to come to life. I love fucking in the middle of the night, and first thing in the morning, more than anything else in the world.

I snuggled up to Valera's now exposed naked body and put one arm around her to play with her tits.

Something wasn't right!

I really enjoyed the feel of her tits, but even in my present state I knew that something wasn't the way it should be.

Then a female voice said "Get your hand off my tits, dude," simultaneous with a slap on my tit-stroking hand. Then the nude female form turned over -- it wasn't Valera.

"Look, I let you stay instead of calling the cops because you were drunk, but you don't get any privileges," she said. I suddenly recognized the voice and face -- it was our across-the-hall neighbor Eva Miller, who apparently was also sleeping nude because of the heat.

After recognizing her face I really wished that I hadn't looked at her tits. While Valera has really nice and perky B-cups, Eva had the best rack that I had ever seen in my life. They were East-West D+-cups with the most intriguing prominent nipples that I had ever seen, live or in any media. I was embarrassed as hell when I felt my cock instantly come to life.

"Wha...wha...happ...ened," I finally stammered using all of my self-control to divert my eyes from the marvels on Eva's chest to her face.

"Your drunken ass banged on my door about three in the morning and when I opened it -- thinking that Ron must have gotten back from his trip early and forgot his key -- you just barged in. I tried to get you out after you flopped on the bed, but there was no waking you, and you were too drunk to be dangerous, so I simply covered myself with a sheet and went back to sleep," she replied. She was staring at my crotch when she said that; I noticed that my cock was the hardest I had ever seen it; it was almost porn star inflated and pulsing, so I quickly covered it with a pillow.

Eva got up, obviously still naked, and without any shyness took a flimsy cover-up out of her closet and put it on. I did get a look at her snatch, and another look at her magnificent tits, before the cover-up did its job. "Look Connor," she said with a half-smile, "you need to leave before Ron comes back and gets the wrong idea. I'll give you a towel to cover up since you're way too big to fit into Ron's clothes." With that she went into the bathroom, came out with a normal sized white towel, and tossed it to me. She didn't look away when I removed the pillow, stood up, and then wrapped the towel around my waist.

"Thanks," I mumbled as I hustled the best that I could out the bedroom, brushing against her as I did.

I looked at a clock in their kitchen as I made my way out -- 9:03 a. m. Surely Valera would be up by then. I opened the door to #206, knocked on #205, and a fully dressed Valera quickly opened the door. "Where the hell have you been?" she snapped -- and there is no doubt that she saw Eva in her flimsy cover-up closing the door to #206. There also is no doubt that while I started my explanation and stupidly removed the towel from my waist that she saw the condition of my Johnson.

"I got drunk for the first time in my life last night..." I started to tell her while putting on a pair of boxer shorts.

"You think that I don't know that?" she snapped.

I proceeded to tell her the entire rotten story, emphasizing that given my condition I thought it was our door when I knocked on Eva Miller's. I'm not sure that I helped myself by telling her everything -- including that I thought Eva was her and snuggled up to her (at least I was smart enough not to say that I was massaging her tits) -- because I didn't want to leave anything out and later have it come back to haunt me.

When I finished Valera didn't look the least bit impressed -- or convinced. After a pregnant pause she snickered "So how did you get love scratches all over your body?"

It was only then that I noticed that I did have a number of scratches. "I...I...don't...uh...really...uh...know," I stammered before my brain started functioning. "I peed in some bushes, and I must have gotten the scratches from them."

"Is that why your cock was at full mast when you came back too?" she snarled.

"It...it...it...was...just morning wood," I stuttered. "You know that I often get it," I continued this time being smart enough to not mention that it was seeing Eva's perfect rack that had caused me to go "Boing!"

"That's one of the biggest bullshit stories I've ever heard," she growled. Then she laid into me. After taking it for a while I got pissed and threw in her face the two "tests" that she had run on me when we were engaged. That led to our first married knock-down drag-out fight.

Things were frosty around our house Saturday -- so frosty despite the lack of air conditioning that I went into work for a few hours. Fortunately, that night we were going out with some of her new friends from her workplace so she had to cool it somewhat. She got drunk again (that is not her normal M. O.) at a club and I had to threaten a few horn dogs to keep them away from her, but it actually worked out. When we got home she was in no condition to resist me -- not that she wanted to after the first 30 seconds anyway -- and I gave her a max pasting by fucking her doggy with a butt plug up her ass.

Since the AC wasn't on/fixed yet as we went to sleep we ended up as a sweaty blob in a naked spoon position.

***************

I was hoping that the storm would blow over by Monday, and at least she wasn't freezing me out by then. However, when I complained that she had to trust me, and to talk to Eva if she didn't believe me, I thought I heard her mumble under her breath "Like that cow would really tell me that she fucked your brains out." When I asked her to clarify she smiled a diabolical smile and replied "It won't be necessary to talk to Eva." I didn't like the way that she said it, but she immediately changed the subject and seemed upbeat.

I had really hoped that things had returned to normal over the next three weeks. They certainly were normal in the bedroom -- in fact she was a little more aggressive, if anything. However still in the back of my mind I wondered if her jealousy and skeptical nature would cause her to do something foolish.

On a Tuesday a little more than three weeks since the Rum Swizzle Matter -- which I internally called the party where I got drunk for the first and last time in my life -- I had forgotten some papers that I needed at the office, so I went home about noon. As I pulled up I saw Valera get out of her car and go into our building. I quickly parked and followed her but when I got to the second floor I saw her going into #206, not #205, our apartment.

I wasn't sure what to make of it -- but I intended to find out. I got the papers that I needed, scanned them, and then emailed them to my secretary and told her what to do with them. Then I changed into casual clothes, went to the maintenance shed, and got a ten foot step ladder out of the shed and went to the east side of Building A.

It was obvious which was apartment #206. I put the step ladder near the balcony to #206, hopped over the railing of the balcony, and heard moans and "Oh Yes!" coming from the master bedroom, which the balcony is off of. The sliding door to the bedroom was open slightly because it was a nice day, and even though the drapes were mostly closed I could easily see in. There was my naked loving wife in the doggy position getting reamed by Ron Miller. He was obviously just ejaculating into her when I started my iPhone recording the event. After they fairly quickly came down from what seemed to me to be mild orgasms, I saw him withdraw his skinny slimy cock from her pussy; no condom!

I recorded for a while longer and got some really banal "pillow talk" until I heard this. "I think with the last time, this time, and one more I'll have gotten my revenge on my dipshit husband for fucking your wife," Valera chuckled. "This time I'm going to keep your load in my pussy and see if I can get him to eat me out tonight," she continued.

"That would be awesome," Ron laughed. "But we don't have to limit things to just one time more, you know. Eva and Connor are clueless morons."

With that I climbed over the railing back onto the step ladder. I was so angry at that point that leaving was the only thing that would save me from killing Ron, bitch slapping Valera, and getting sent to jail.

I quickly returned the ladder to the shed, and then just got in my car and took off, not even bothering to change back into my suit and tie -- I'd figure out some excuse about my dress when I got back to work.

**************

When my slut wife Valera did try and get me to eat her out that night any chance that I wasn't going to have the shortest marriage in the history of my family evaporated. Instead of eating her I faked like I was sick, ran into the bathroom, and pretended that I was puking into the toilet. It wasn't much of an act because I almost did puke I was so upset.

I took a long lunch the next day and decided what I wanted to do. I thought it best to clue Eva Miller in to my plan, so I called the office of the superintendent of our apartment complex and sweet-talked the receptionist into giving me Eva's cell phone number.

As luck would have it, Ron went out of town Wednesday night -- I saw him leaving with his suitcase when I got home from work -- so I immediately called Eva and got her to agree to meet me for lunch the next day at a restaurant next to her workplace.

Eva didn't have much of an appetite after I showed her the video (with audio accompaniment) that I had recorded of the two cheaters. However, when I told her my plan she perked up some.

I knew that I would need to leave the area after I completed both prongs of my plan, and had Valera served, but I thought that quitting so soon after I started my job in Northern Virginia would not be good for my business future, so I had to cool it until I could work out a move to a new job.