The Scents of Proxima Ch. 01

"If you'll excuse me, I have to go" She had to get out of here before she lost her cool entirely. She could feel her pulse racing and a flush of heat across her skin.

"Oh, do you have another class?"

"No"

"Heading home?"

"No"

"Then where're you heading?"

"Anywhere but here" Beth snapped.

Hal stared at her, mouth slightly agape, as she turned on her heel, slid behind Anjali, who had been seemingly oblivious to this whole conversation, and left.

**********

Crap! He'd completely blown it! What had he been saying? Hal had been agonizing all week about what he was going to say, her scent distracting him every class. It was the same tantalizing fragrance he remembered from their days at Mids.

But as soon as he'd walked up to her, Hal realized he'd made a huge miscalculation. While her scent had been captivating from the back of the room, it was devastating up close. It was all he could do to keep his hands to himself so as not to seem like a bigger jerk than she definitely already thought he was. He'd been blathering on, trying to keep the conversation going long enough to regain his self-control and apologize like he'd intended. Not grab her to him like his primal side demanded. Apparently, he'd said the wrong thing. Again.

"Beth, wait!"

Hal furiously racked his brain to remember the last few minutes of conversation. He'd called her unfeminine! Double crap!

"Beth! No! Fuck, I'm sorry!" He tried to edge around the young woman Beth had been talking to so intently the first day of class. She must have been a friend, because she seemed to be intentionally getting in his way. Rather than push by her, Hal vaulted over the desk, racing to catch up with Beth as she nearly sprinted out the door.

"Beth! Wait, please! I'm sorry!" Hal caught up with her just as she rounded the corner out of the building, heading toward the center of campus."Beth!"

She whirled to face him, eyes wary, hands gripping the strap of her bag like she was trying to strangle it. "What do you want?"

"Beth, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"Oh, you're sorry? Really? You have a funny way of showing it."

Hal didn't have to scent the air to know she was furious. Her skin was flushed and she canted toward him like she was ready to bash his nose in. He reached toward her, he couldn't help himself.

Beth took two quick steps back. "Leave me alone!"

"Beth, please, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was such a huge jerk before..." Hal froze, realizing how all of this must look to her. He dropped his hand to his side.

Beth interrupted him. "Before! Oh just, before. What about now? Are you trying to tell me you've changed? 'Cause from my perspective, you clearly haven't."

Hal had to stop himself from taking another step, feeling like he was falling into the force of her. "I have changed, I swear. I am so sorry for being a jerk to you all those years ago. That's why I came over after class, to apologize."

"Could have fooled me." Beth's tone was cold.

Hal winced, jamming his hands into his pockets so he wouldn't reach out to try and comfort her. She certainly needed comfort, but not from him. Not now. "You're right, you're right. I'm still a dandruff-headed idiot. I still never know what to say around you. I'm sorry. I just, I don't know, my mouth runs away with me." Hal winced again, "But that's no excuse."

"No, it's not."

He could tell she was still wary, she still was poised on the balls of her feet, like she was going to kick him in the nuts and bolt at any second. Hal took a step back, trying to give her some space and clear his own head of her scent to help himself think more clearly.

"Look, I'm really sorry. I've totally messed this up. I had wanted to ask if we could start fresh, if there was anything I could do to make it up to you for being a jerk all those years ago."

Beth's glare told him all he needed to know.

He backtracked quickly. "But I realize there's nothing I really can say except that I'm sorry and the only thing I can do is try to show you that I have changed. Which I've done a piss poor job of actually doing." Hal snapped his mouth shut before he started babbling.

Beth still hadn't moved. Her body was tense but her eyes weren't snapping at him anymore. She looked unsure, working through some internal calculations he could only guess at. "So that bit about me being unfeminine back there?"

Hal mentally kicked himself. "That wasn't what I meant to say. I meant you looked great in this dress and that I hadn't remembered you wearing any back then. You just never looked as much like a woman as you do now."

Beth rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I was twelve!" Her tone was still scathing, but at least it looked like her bag might survive as her hands began to relax their death grip.

Hal ran his hands over his face. "God, why is it so hard to talk to you?! Why is it every time I try to compliment you it comes out backhanded?"

"I don't know? Practice?" Beth bit out as she crossed her arms and sat into her hip.

God, he remembered her doing that so many times in Mids. She had no idea the way it accentuated her curves. And now that her chest had filled out, the image she presented was all the more alluring.

God damn it! This was so not how he had intended this interaction to go. Hal stepped back until he back hit the wall, sliding down to sit against the building, doing his best to appear non-threatening. The further he got from her, the clearer his head became. He should have held his breath! But that was kind of hard to do when he also needed to be able to talk, to explain... Hal racked his brain to remember every technique he had ever learned for controlling his more primal instincts.

**********

He was apologizing! Something she had dreamed about for years. But she wasn't going to let him off so easily. Beth realized she had actually begun to relax a bit, having fallen into the old rhythm of their exchanges. It almost felt nostalgic.

She shook herself. What was she thinking? He was still a massive prick! Look at what he had said not two minutes ago! And yet, when she had stepped away, he had backed off. Now he sat before her, doing his best to be as non-threatening as possible. She remembered that being a tactic they had learned at Mids to de-escalate tense situations when someone was reacting emotionally. Back then, he would have leaned in, seeing that it flustered her, making her more likely to make a mistake that he could pounce on. Maybe he had changed, a little.

"Why now?" Beth demanded. "You could have stopped tormenting me any time back then. Why apologize now?"

"I was a stupid kid. By the time I realized how far it had spiraled, that behind the teasing and swapping insults back and forth, that I was really hurting you, I had no idea how to make it better. And then, after the winter solstice, you were just gone. I asked the administrators, but they said you had left with your parents to their next posting. I thought about video calling you, but I didn't think you would pick up if I called. Why would you? I thought about writing you, but what could I possibly write that you would believe was sincere? I promised myself that if I ever saw you again I would apologize. I meant to, that first day after class, but you seemed so busy with your friend and who was I to disturb your life even more? So I chickened out. I told myself I would do it at the end of the next class, but for the last few days you've always managed to be gone and out the door before I could get to you. I didn't want to be the creepy jerk waiting for you outside the door. But then today, when I did finally talk to you, it all came out wrong. I'm sorry." Hal hung his head.

Beth was ice cold but her skin was on fire. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, felt the blood rush to her head. She had dreamt of this moment for so long that it didn't feel real now that it was here."I would have read it at least."

"Huh?" Hal looked up at her.

"If you had written to me. I would have read it." There was an awkward pause. Clearly, neither of them knew where to go from here. Beth took a deep breath and pushed on. "I mean, I would have tried to. As I remember, your dictation back then was atrocious" Beth wasn't sure why she was poking fun at him when he was trying to apologize, but she didn't know how else to break the ice that was forming over the conversation.

Hal smiled wryly. "Yeah, my dictation was pretty bad. Can't say it's gotten much better. I've always been more interested in the physical side of things."

Beth tentatively smiled back. This banter felt familiar, normal. It had the same cadence of their old fights, but the remarks weren't sharp. "So what brings you to SUni then?"

"Oh, you know, I don't want to be some dumb navy seal that's only good for going out and killing monsters that threaten the navigation buoys. I'd like to be able to... I don't know... fix them too?"

"So you DO want to be a productive member of society!" Beth teased lightly as she perched on the edge of a planter on the opposite side of the path.

They now sat nearly 3 meters apart from each other, but it was the closest to being cordial that they'd been since their first meeting all those years ago. Beth felt a tendril of hope. She also still felt the urge to touch him, to slide herself down alongside him. The feeling was disconcerting. Beth did her best to push it away.

"What about you? I would have thought you'd learned everything you would ever need to know from living at the research stations."

Beth chuckled "I learned just how much I didn't know. I came to SUni to see what all else is out there before I commit to studying one thing."

The conversation trailed off again, but this time, the silence didn't feel so strained. Maybe she could finally breathe easy that she had confronted her old nemesis and hadn't let him walk all over her. He still overwhelmed her, even more than he had back then, but maybe they could call a truce.

Beth saw the moon Tito crest above the horizon and stood up. "I probably should get going now. I promised Anjali and some others I would hang out with them tonight."

"Yeah, right, I don't want to keep you. Again, I'm sorry. I know they're just words, but I mean it."

"Yeah" Beth smiled lightly and turned to go.

"Beth?"

She turned back. "Yeah?"

"Are we good?" Hal looked at her beseechingly. "I mean, I know you aren't going to immediately trust me and we'll be best friends, but can we try to at least, I don't know, be acquaintances?"

Beth hesitated. This conversation, this hesitant truce had been one thing, but the desire to rub herself all over him was pulling within her. And that definitely wasn't something acquaintances did. She knew from experience her physical response to Hal only got worse the longer they were in close proximity. On the other hand, she didn't want to break this tenuous peace that had been formed.

"We can see how it goes." she offered noncommittally.

"Cool, okay, um, I guess I'll see you in class then."

Beth nodded, turned, and walked down the trail toward where she had promised to meet Anjali. She felt indomitable. She'd stood up for herself and managed to keep her head! She hadn't given in to the desires that had been burning through her body. It seems they had reached a sort of tentative peace. Hopefully, now she wouldn't feel the need to be constantly on alert, waiting for an attack. Beth didn't think she and Hal would ever be close, she didn't trust herself enough for that. But maybe, just maybe, she didn't need to run from the monsters of her past either.

**********

Hal watched longly as Beth walked away. He made himself stay where he was. He'd already screwed up enough today, better to let her go now that they had seemed to at least reach a cease-fire. Beth finally disappeared around a bend in the path; she hadn't looked back once. Hal rubbed the back of his neck and stood up.

Mentally reviewing their conversation, Hal continued to berate himself. He realized how she must have interpreted their exchange, the parallels she'd have drawn between his remarks and the insults he wielded during their time at Mids. Given their history, would she ever believe that any compliment he gave her was sincere? His mouth had run away with him while he'd been distracted by her scent. She'd been stunning, hair pulled back in a braid, her dress flowing just below her knees, the bodice tight enough to show off just how much she had matured.

He wanted to be honest with her, to explain everything. But clearly, he'd been too honest, too blunt. Well, except for what he'd said as she left. that was a colossal lie. Hal did want to keep her. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and never let her go. She was everything that he had remembered: strong, quick with a retort, not afraid to call him on his bullshit. Beth Harmin had him totally hooked, but she'd balked at the thought of them being mere acquaintances!

She might have smiled at him before she left, but he could tell she still had serious reservations. Based on his performance today, her hesitance was justified. Hal sighed. He was going to have to be patient. He was going to show her that he really had changed.

**********

Professor Kruger sighed as he watched Hal dart out of the room after Beth. Looks like there was going to be another tumultuous, whirlwind romance in his class again.

"Hi uncle" Dr. Kruger turned to find David, his sister's boy, standing next to his desk.

"Hey there nephew, still thinking of joining my class for the rotation?"

David didn't respond. Normally quite astute, he was clearly distracted. His head was tilted, brow furrowed as his eyes scanned the room.

"David?" Dr. Kruger looked at the younger man, concerned. He laid his hand on David's shoulder.

David shook his head, looking down at his uncle. "... Yeah, um, sorry I couldn't make it the first week, mother needed help moving into her new apartment."

Dr. Kruger noted the way his nephew couldn't stop scenting the air and knew what it meant: David was also going to be involved in the mate pairing whirl. Another internal sigh. Well, no one deserved to find a mate more than his loveless nephew. "No worries, I'm sure I can catch you up in no time. Over lunch perhaps?" Dr. Kruger gestured for his nephew to lead the way.

"Sure."

As they walked out of the room, he saw David glancing back over his shoulder into the now-empty classroom, a confused look on his face. Dr. Kruger finally let out that sigh. It was going to be another one of those classes where the subject matter was entirely secondary to his students learning the science of each other.