by GALVANIZER
The weird phrasing and grammatical errors were too distracting. I think you should try again, but maybe make a pass or two over in editing so it matches how people talk in English.
As I said, I'm not voting because I don't want you to be badly scored from your first reader.
Thanks anon, every critics is well accepted and recommended.
Unfortunately I'm not a native english speaker and grammar has always been a great problem for me :(
Maybe try to read my other story, it should be better :)
Good premise, but it could use more drama. Perhaps the model is reluctant because she dislikes futas... but she really wants to win the contest. Or maybe she has another model she's competing against and the futa gets them to compete for her assistance with higher levels of enthusiasm or willingness to perform certain acts. Something like that.