All Comments on 'The Secret Life of Artists Ch. 02'

A nice story line, along with some believable and sympathetic characters, but first and foremost, you need an editor. Every good writer does, so don't take this as anything but a helpful observation.

Next ... slow down. The pacing, considering the structure of the story, was far too fast in every way, which led to credibility issues, which in turn take the reader out of your story.

And most definitely slow down the whole structure and sequence of your scenes when you do get to the sex. Think about the scene as you arrive at it. Put yourself on the outside looking in; be a voyeur, as we the readers are.

Sex, when it comes, is an exercise of the senses, no matter what the motivation, whether it be as an expression of emotion, or just hot monkey love, so let the senses inform and dominate your writing, just as they do when you're making love yourself. Bring all of them onto the page, so that we share it all with you.

These are things that an experienced editor would make you aware of, along with typos and grammatical mistakes, which are also such a distraction to the reader, like potholes in the road to erotic fantasy.

Writing is like working with gems, taking a crude stone and then it's all about cut and polish, polish, polish. Don't rush it out before it's ready for prime time.

Keep going. It's obvious you like to write, and you do have a talent for it. Just take your time.

Thank you anonymous. I always appreciate constructive criticism and will consider all you've said.

*****Your stories are fun to read a slice of life that's upbeat and enjoyable to read. Thanks for sharing.

loved it again you could make a movie with that.love you 40 G