All Comments on 'The Seduction and Theft of Mrs. Hopkins'

A picture in 1812?

Indecent proposal lesbian style.

Long isn't always better.

No need for more.

Just a pathetic cuck story under a different ruse.

Excellent, loving the build up, more please.

Like the premise, like the characters, like erotic moments/scenes, but did not like length. You write well and entire piece could have been condensed without lose of quality. In fact probably would have heightened suspense and erotica.

Can't wait for Gabby to fuck Corrine!!

TO: Mr, Ms, Mrs, Miss Anonymous,

You may think the story to long,

You may not like the story,

You may think it has a bit of familiarity with a movie,

All these things you have a right to think, and I accept that.

But your Ignorance is highlighted with your reference to 1812 has a calendar year, when in fact it is actually a street address in the story.

You certainly must have something better to do with your time then troll stories and to make anonymous inaccurate comments about them.

Fantastic story, great details cannot wait for the second part. Your details and character builds are excellent and I’m sure it will continue with the next installment

A Goldilocks story; not too short, not too long. Just right. Ditto plotline and charcaterisations.

No one is trolling.

The year was a mistake - probably the length of your story attributed to that.

Have a nice day - Petereater

Granted, i am new at writing erotica, but I found it quite enjoyable, I happen to love a good build up and the development of tension between the characters. Corrine has no idea what Gabriella's intentions are, but I am guessing the sexuality of it all will ambush her and she will find herself caught up in it. Real seduction starts in the mind anyway. ;) My own stories typically involve getting in the other person's head before anything remotely sexual happens.

Wow, this story is amazing! Thank you for sharing.

The set up and the idea are both excellent, and you paint a good picture of the two women. I enjoyed it and gave it five stars. Might be worth looking at your tenses. You often fall into the present tense when the past tense would be better. DO please continue x

When is the next part available?

Part 2? Please?

Okay. Good start. I only gave you 3 stars for the atrocious lack of bad grammar and unclear sentences. I attribute this to lack of proof reading. You have so many qualities to the story. There is a distinctly feminine touch to the unfolding (pun intended) story. But clean it up! We deserve that from you and you will be a better writer for it.

No. I’m not an English teacher, simply a partner author.

And, YES. Get us to the shared bed!

To, Mr, Mrs, Miss, Ms Anonymous,

You chastise me for (and I quote, your exact wording) “for the atrocious lack of bad grammar and unclear sentences. I attribute this to lack of proof reading.” I’m not sure if you want me to add more bad grammar and unclear sentences… actually I believe you are guilty of exactly what you are chastising me for “proofreading my story” except my story is 4 pages long your comment less then 100 words.

While I have an MBA, I have not had any formal creative writing training since high school. Yes I have written thousands of work memos, tons of emails, and hundreds of contracts. While, I enjoy writing I do not have huge amounts of time to write. I have been unable to find an editor here on lit that will edit my stories (still trying). I self edit and find lots of mistakes that I change as I find them, thank you for your encouragement I will continue to try harder.

Really enjoyed, please carry on.

You take my comments too personally. I like the story. I hope you continue it. As someone who self edits my own work, I get that it is difficult. But I think you owe to us to do the best you can to clean up some of these clearer errors. They detract from the pleasure of reading your story.

If you take everything as a personal attack then turn off the comments.

Love the story, please continue.

Would love to read more...

I was really enchanted with this story so far, it feels romantic as well as sexual. I have been awaiting the next installment with some eagerness, so you have any idea when you may post more?

Christa,

I’m trying so hard to complete the next chapter. If possible I would love to write every day, but life keeps getting in the way and taking over my desires, leaving me with precious little time to complete the next chapter, never mind the rest of the story.

I want to thank everyone for reading the beginning of my story, your comments are welcome, and I promise there really is more to come.

Petereater

i keep checking to see if theres a new chapter... :-(

Petereater,

No rush, just was curious since I enjoyed the first part so much. Yes, life can get frantic and busy, looking forward to when you have the personal bandwidth to post again.