The Senator Ch. 03 - The Candidate

The candidate is part 3 of the Senator. It is in the voice of Senator Doris Russell, the candidate. One of the comments on The Senator suggested that were she a man, she could get away with an affair - as a woman, probably not. That would be a fun topic to try in Loving Wives (people give lower scores to RAAC tales; one wonders what they would score if the cheating spouse was elected President).

We will never know, at least from this author. This story is about Doris and her personal relationship with her to-be-ex-husband.

As with the other two parts of the story, this final part contains no clues as to the party of the Senator. This is not an attempt to say one party is in any way different from the other - it is a story about a woman who cheated on her husband, her rationale, and what she does to move forward.

The Candidate

I really don't know where to begin my story - why is that? I guess I don't know how it ends, so it is hard to say where it started. I guess I'll just start.

I met Paul Russell in college. We had a bit of a rocky start. Maybe that is what this whole tale is about. Well, I'll get to that. We met at a party his fraternity and my sorority co-hosted. I had broken away from my sisters, who thought I was not trying hard enough to have a good time. I heard a couple of his brothers telling him the same thing.

"Excuse me." I said rather loudly, to be heard above the music and partying. I grabbed him by the arm since I couldn't call him by name. The other frat boys backed away and he smiled at me - he had a killer smile.

"Why yes, what can I do for you?"

"Could we talk?" And soon we were.

Introduced myself, Doris Minton and explained why I had interrupted. "I just had the same conversation with my sorority sisters, why don't those guys think you are partying properly?"

He laughed, "Paul Russell, I refuse whatever is in that punch and am having my usual beer - if I go wild, I'll have the second. Partying properly, where did you get that?"

"The girls told me I wasn't fucking funky; I didn't think I knew you well enough for that." I held up my glass, "They assured me the punch was grain alcohol and fruit juice. This is 1/4 punch and the rest fruit juice - out of a fresh bottle."

We talked about liking to party, but not wanting to lose control. We had important things which had to be done on the weekend and nursing a hangover or sleeping 'til two because we were up all night didn't fit into that.

We both were into our conversation. He was a hunk, in my opinion. I looked my best, which I will modestly say is very good. We had this connection - a seriousness about being all we could be.

He looked at his watch, "Wow, nearly midnight. Talking to you has made the time pass so quickly. I need to get to bed."

And I thought it was going so well. He may be right, there will be other times. I have much to do tomorrow. "Would you walk me back to the sorority house?"

At least he brightened at that suggestion. "I'd love to."

He kissed me at the door. "I'd love to see you again."

I told him, "I'd like that, too." He took his phone and started a contact for me. He handed me the phone, "Give me your digits." I did, He hit call, and my phone rang in my purse. He disconnected.

As he left he said, "I'll call you." But he didn't.

Nearly a month passed, I decided to take the bull by the horns, to coin a phrase. I called him.

"Doris, oh my gawd, I keep wanting to call you, but I have been so busy. I am sorry. I am glad you called. I'm rambling, how can I help?"

"It takes about 5 seconds to make a call - then another two minutes to tell me you are busy but will call me later."

"Oh," he paused for a bit, "you know, you are right. I'm sorry. I'm not good at this and I need to be."

"Paul, that's a bit cryptic for me. At what do you need to be good?"

"I don't date. If I don't, I am always going to be single. I like you; I would like to know you better and I don't know how."

"You're what, 19 years-old and never had a date?"

"Oh, I date, but not trying to find a future spouse - just short-term romances."

I've talked to this guy for maybe two hours, and he is telling me I may be his first attempt at romance. "If you'll excuse me, Paul, that is a little odd - no, come to think of it, it is a lot odd."

And so we started. Paul was much like me - he had to be the best he could be. He would not settle. He had dated and found no one like him and no one who would put up with him - so he'd decided not to pursue romance. All of a sudden he was smitten.

I was too, I must admit. I found a soul mate. We had the same aspirations and found ways we could help each other succeed - at a higher rate than we did alone. We were quickly exclusive, then living together, and on his graduation - married.

The first two years of our marriage I finished law school, magna cum laude. Paul had worked for a financial firm for a short while and then put together his own venture capital company. He made enough money for me to focus on becoming a member of the city council instead of getting billable hours as an attorney.

As we kept growing, both of us were instrumental to the other's success. We were the "wall" against which the other could safely bounce any idea. I never really noticed when it stopped - but it did. I guess somewhere in our early thirties. I would say we were consumed by our success.

I was elected to the state legislature just after my 30th birthday, and to the US Senate after my second term as a state assemblywoman. I was a rising star in my party and because my state was fairly large and not guaranteed to one party or the other, my name started getting serious mention as a presidential candidate.

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It is heady stuff to hear President of the United States - linked to your name. I guess everyone dreams of that, at least once in their life. But here I was in my mid-30s and the possibility was real.

Paul's company had become so successful he had a staff of twenty, including two others, whose primary function was to find start-ups to fund. Paul worked incredible hours and picked winner after winner after winner.

It is a dangerous business; you only need put a little money into a company that succeeds. Too often, a company shows promise, needing a little more cash to get over the hump, then - a little more and a little more. Before you realize it you have dumped millions into a rat hole, and nothing comes back.

Paul was good at picking winners and even better at knowing when the company he'd picked just wasn't going to make it - stopping the financing before the losses were too great. The trouble was he now surrounded himself with nearly two dozen experts - and my advice was rarely sought.

But it wasn't just a one-way shift. Suddenly I had a staff of people to help me govern and the party saw to it I got hooked up with John Schmidt, as my campaign manager. John was five or six years older and had been doing this work for years. He knew how to make a candidate win.

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John Schmidt was like no one I ever met. He had led or been involved in hundreds of focus groups. He knew what swayed the opinion of people. More than that, he knew words and phrases which conveyed positive/negative images to certain groups - without really taking a side.

The country has liberals and conservatives - those two groups are steady in their voting. It also has somewhere around 40% independents, or people who do not necessarily vote one party, all the time. The key to getting elected isn't one's base - it is the expansion of one's base.

John taught me to speak to the independents, while staying true to my base. He taught me that rather quickly. Then, he told me things which were that easy didn't get you many "plus" votes. I had to learn nuances - and more than that, I had to learn how to say what the group in front of me wanted to hear - whether I believed it or not. This is where I started to get in trouble with Paul.

I had told John of my relationship with Paul and how it had grown from our mutual support of one another. Slowly, John showed me that Paul was no longer in a position to provide that support - he was. John also demonstrated time and again that Paul was leading me astray - he was too far removed - and perhaps jealous.

John and I grew closer as Paul seemed less and less in my corner. Our affair was inevitable.

We got careless. I compounded my error by trying to get Paul to cover for me.

Things have been going downhill ever since.

After my last conversation with Paul, I let John go and started to right my campaign. I begged Paul to see me one more time. He is coming in the morning. My last chance.

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"Paul, it is so good of you to have come here. I have breakfast for us."

"Breakfast sounds good."

Well, no hug, no happy to be here but he did accept breakfast. This is going to be more difficult than I imagined - and I knew it was a long shot.

We ate in near silence, and I left the clean-up until after we talked. We moved to the den.

"Paul, I am so sorry I let John lead me where we are. I so want to try to heal what we've done and get back together."

"No, Doris, really you don't. I hope I didn't come here to talk about this, again. You told me you loved him. You wouldn't even tell me your opinion without talking to him to find out what your opinion was. We are through."

"Paul, I have thought about this a lot. Hear me out."

"Don't cover old ground and I'll listen."

"We drifted apart. I was so reliant on your advice and suddenly, you weren't here and the advice I needed changed."

"How did it change, Doris?"

"I needed to build support."

"I call bullshit, we've been down this road. You don't gain support by becoming a chameleon. Find something new, or I am out of here."

"Let me be honest."

"Oh, there is a novelty, why don't you try that?"

"Paul sarcasm doesn't become you." He looked at me like the timer was nearing zero. "I have thought about this a lot. I am sorry we drifted apart, but as I thought about it, we were not really a team - we were two people who reinforced one another and built our separate successes by helping one another."

"Oh, I understand now." He looked absolutely crestfallen.

"Why do you look so disappointed? What do you understand?"

"We swore the distance between one another would not come between us. I meant it."

"But things stayed the same for you, Paul. For me, everything changed."

"Doris, I am glad I came. It gives me closure. I really did not understand until right now."

"Understand? Understand what?"

"I thought we were soul mates - two peas in a pod. We are nothing alike."

"Why would you say that?"

"Doris, I am driven to be all I can be - I seek excellence. You are driven by ambition. You see all you can be as how high you go. You don't care how you get there. I want to be the best and what I get will come to me, naturally. Your motivation is external; mine is internal. You were my love. I was your helper."

I thought about it. He was right.

"Where does that leave us?"

"Doris, give me a break! Listen to yourself. You just told me there is no us. What you want is for me to continue to help you - for absolutely no return."

"But I know to trust you now. I know your advice is for my own good."

"You are consistent. I'll give you that. Doris, you had my everything and you threw it away. Now, you think so little of me, you are willing to ask for my help, like I'd give it to someone who just stomped on my heart."

"Damn it, Paul. You owe me!" Maybe I can push him into it.

He stood and stared at me.

"Have a nice life, Doris. Don't call me again."

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What a crock! Excellence versus ambition. Still, maybe I can turn that to my advantage. If he is in love, he won't want to see me fall from grace. I can construct a story and dole it out over time - bad marriage, bad advice, a little of this and that - he won't care enough to notice.

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Finally, primary season. I am polling well against everyone - well everyone but Governor Brian Watson of Illikoma (Illinois is a blue state, Oklahoma is a red state - hence Illikoma). He may not even run - rumor is he is having difficulty finding funding.

<<<<>>>>

I am falling in all the polls. Watson has caught fire. He has captured the imagination of the people in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina - if he wins those first three primaries - well, no one has ever won them and not won the nomination.

I have my new campaign manager checking him out. Sheri has been a real find; she is particularly well connected. I am sure she will find a chink in Watson's armor.

"Senator."

"Sheri, please, it's Grace when we are alone like this."

"Okay, Grace, I am afraid I have the worst news I could bring back."

I gasped, what on earth could the worst news be? "So, what is it."

"Watson's campaign has learned everything about you, from law school on. They know about your marriage, your affair - everything. He is preparing some commercials which hold you in a very poor light."

"Well, as Daddy used to say, 'Shit! And roll around in it.' Do you know how they got this information?"

"From the campaign's major donor, Paul Russell."

Well shit, maybe he did pay attention to my bad marriage spin.

Oh well, in four years I'll still be young. Maybe he'll have forgotten.

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I hope you enjoyed The Senator.