All Comments on 'The Senator Ch. 03 - The Candidate'

Lucky he got away when he didi!

5

Pardon me! I changed candidates name from Doris to Grace. Oops

Part 1 was good. Part 2 was meh, but that was the villain.

Part 3 is crap. Your ending is a cheap cop-out, with little-to-no interesting characterization.

You spiked that ending.

Yeh, not well ended. Doesn't address any of the real manipulation by John, or the rationalizations that would be needed to betray Paul.

Grace is still a little girl who needs someone in her corner, and her mind changes completely with that person's advice. Other than that it could be nice, but that breaks immersion completely.

I kept hoping for some reason that this would at least get closer to the level of part one. It did not, sadly. She is definitely a politician. Even when her husband has his epiphany and sees how she used him, she still tries to manipulate him. I did like that when the husband sees her for what she is, he sets out to derail her ego-driven campaign. Otherwise, this part would have been worthless.

Not as good as the first part and not one of your best. Thanks for sharing

I do like as the series progressed how you revealed the differences between them, not just as a narrative but in their dialogue as well. It could have been better with more depth to the plot lines in this chapter, but still a decent effort. 4.1*

Nope still didn't like it. She had no love. There was little to no resolution. No upside. No repercussions other than "maybe in 4 years" 2*

Wow, really weak and the story idea had the possibility of being something good. The author just rushed every part of it and made the characters flat and uninteresting. 2**

5 stars for a concise BTB. Thank you.

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Re: the question raise at the start of this chapter: We KNOW that cheating husband without damaging context would get elected - Bill Clinton wasn't running but he clearly didn't lose support. As a matter of fact, given both Bill's philandering and Hillary's support of it, AND Hillary's own rumors of cheating, I suppose the answer will be the same regardless of which sex the politician was. However, John Edwards flamed out, due to specific circumstances of his cheating.

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I'm pretty sure at current level of polarization, people literally don't care about the individual running, just their effectiveness to win elections and govern from their preferred position. Which, in my opinion, is definitely a valid position to take. I'd rather have an asshole who's on my side than a boy scout who loses the election to the opposite side. Besides, 99% of them are assholes of one sort or another anyway, you don't get far in politics without being a shit human being.

Lol politicians and lawyers. They are all the same as are all the twats that wear suits. Just parasitic scumbags who prey on good hard working folks. Salespeople are of the same ilk.

I was going to say she was sneaky, manipulative and delusional, but then I figured I would just say she was a typical politician. Not much of a chapter. Very little of what Paul was thinking and very little interplay between the two of them. Just too short to be worthwhile.

Say, so you made Paul out as the vindictive Ex, Grace as the ditsy blonde and Paul as that snake he was. What I didn't see was the outcome of the whole thing. No you don't need to go 40 years into the future, but at least one to find out if she ever learned her lesson. How about chapter four to end it all?

As big a waste of words as part two was.

That was the ending . . . could have saved a lot of words in the previous two parts with this almost totally predictable ending.

good ending

Grace? Doris?

It was a great story until that abbreviated end. It was told well and then you just dumped the story like you were tired of it. I gave it a 4 overall, but, if I was rating the ending it would have gotten a 2.

Who’s Grace?

I think I was right about part 2. The two aldulterers should have been one chapter.

And what did we learn that we didn't already know at the end of part 1? Nothing. The politician wife and her campaign manager are corrupt and amoral, the husband is a straight shooter.

Not sure the point of this. It doesn't really advance the story, we already know who she is without this

Likewise we don't see the husband gaining anything out of this , meaning the dialog with his wife. She doesn't even really come off as trying to influence him into helping her.

As written the twist ending isn't really a twist. As a suggestion for future writing , what I would do is have the husband go along with trying to help her, ' forgive her', make it look like she is getting what she wants.

Then your ending where Paul funds her opponent really is a twist, a jolt, bc you created a false illusion that Paul in the story did, than wham!

I was one who said previously that there is a double standard and that a woman cannot cheat and win. Unfortunately, I'd bet that too will soon fall, I'd give it 15 years at the rate society is going.

I was hoping for a little more contrition from Doris, but she stayed consistently self centered throughout. Paul stayed consistent too, and I don’t think he will ever forget.

This isn’t really very realistic.

I can’t see a total narcissist becoming President. Someone so desperate for adulation and approval that they constantly need to ask others for confirmation. Someone so self centred that they ignore people that they profess to love and have cheap tawdry affairs with others of similar low character.

I mean, come on! In what world would someone like that become President??

A very good read I hope there is some more to make her pay.

Doris/Grace is a true politician; she has no principles other than those of convenience, no moral compass, no concern for anyone but herself and even changes her name to suit the prevailing circumstances! She would have gone all the way to the top if only she hadn't got careless when boffing John on the side.

JR

This part makes her in a very bad light

She doesnt love het husband.

Still not enough punishment for the bitch! Perhaps in the next chapter, her previously undetected Syphilis makes her blind and brings on Dementia (she’s half way there now)!

Part 2 and 3 are prime examples of why sequels seldom work. You should have wrapped it up in part one. The rest made no sense.

Who's Grace? Doris's evil twin?

I don't recall what I said about part two, but it wasn't positive. I think about the same with this one. Three stars, could have been two.

JPB

Wow. Doris was as awful as it appeared!

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I did like the comparison: “I seek excellence. You are driven by ambition. You see all you can be as how high you go. You don't care how you get there. I want to be the best and what I get will come to me, naturally. Your motivation is external; mine is internal. You were my love. I was your helper."

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4 ****

WTF? Two stars ⭐️ for this one.

What's the old saying, "crap rolls downhill ". Well here we are at the bottom of the hill with this turd. Part 1 was ok,had a lot of promise this just left me totally unfulfilled.

Think this is the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over. And expecting a different outcome.

"We swore the distance between one another would not come between us. I meant it."

Rofl what?

Nothing here

Maybe if this was all in one story a very big maybe but u should have stopped after the first

Not really. Decently crafted, but everything after the first was just meh

I'm not sure why the commenters are all so butthurt about this story. The author clearly stated his intentions for the three stories ahead of time, yet the commenters who had negative attitudes chose to read this third story anyway. Then they had the audacity to criticize the author for doing exactly what he said he would do.

Parts 2 and 3 provide the necessary consequences. Husband exposes the cheating wife. Campaign manager is fired. Husband goes on to cut ex-wife's campaign off at the knees. Yes, the ex-wife is unrepentant and still delusional, but do a search for politicians who get driven out of office or lose elections after their scandalous behavior is exposed; they may try running for office again, but very seldom do they get the support of their parties and go on the win election. It all just would have flowed better if the two parts had been one.

Life’s twists and turns, a very good trilogy. 4.5* overall

Sounds like he should burn her ass again 4 years later with a nice t.v. Interview

Dang!! She doesn't seem to have learned anything. I love growth in stories. She starts to grow a little, then refuses to carry through, sometimes regressing!!

Maybe one more . . . thirty years in the future . . . Will she finally have caught on? Will she understand that if she'd kept to her principles and morals but lost, that wouldn't be as dissatisfying as destroying herself while losing (or maybe while even winning), had been.

I'm also a little curious . . . Did her husband join the other side because he actually thought the candidate was better, or because he wanted revenge on his wife, or because he thought SHE might be better off and grow back into being herself if she learned some valuable lessons?

If he ONLY joined the opposing candidate's campaign for the purpose of getting even with (or even hoping to improve) his wife, then he may even be a worse person than she is. If the candidate he's supporting is a bad person and/or candidate, then his desire for revenge may negatively impact millions, rather than just one or two.

If (and only if) that was the case, then even in losing, she (and even John) could have the last (but sort of sad) laugh. She/they may have lost, but they now come off as more moral and better people. Of course, if the other candidate really is a decent honest person, and not the typical politician, then the husband probably should have supported that guy anyway.

So who becomes the worse villain . . . John, the wife, or the husband? Who becomes either the hero or the supporter of the hero . . . John, the wife, or the husband? When politics and the lives of millions (or billions) get involved, things are simply not clear cut.

Pretty good, but the ending should have been teased out further. Too abrupt.

Paul knows his ex is a corrupt, lying cheater. Her opponent Watson might turn out to be one as well if he wins, but for now, the fact that he hadn't been able to attract enough wealthy sponsors to fund a campaign means there's at least a chance that he'll turn out to be better than the devil Paul knows.

⭐⭐⭐ And.......crash at the end.

She was delusional, very much SoL

Learnt everything, learnt nothing.

"I compounded my error by trying to get Paul to cover for me." =The error wasn't getting Paul to cover for her, it was reneging on the deal they made.

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After the end of the first chapter, when she was all but outed as a cheater, how could her campaign survive?

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Very flat ending.

I like the concept it’s just the snippet of story information leaves it hard to follow or get into the character.

She’s already figured she’s lost her chance at being president but hopes that in 4 years she can try again.

Loved it, really novel concept and fast paced. Hard to come up with different scenarios in this category.

This is just my opinion, but this last chapter seems to have fallen short of the first two chapters, it almost feels like you just wanted to be done with the series.

Does anyone actually know how to properly end a story?

Does ideology make for good sex? Does political kickball make for good fun? NO. Boring as all f@#*. You had a the best of bones to make a really swell yarn but it fell well short of the mark for me. M

While it does flesh out the character of the narcissistic, overambitious slut, it also makes her inconsistent. Her inner monologues read like a bimbo way out of her depth. I can't imagine how a, supposedly successful, presidential candidate couldn't see the danger of pushing her ex so much. In the previous part, she even warns her AP that hubby is not one to be pushed. Trying to spin it as a bad marriage had a very obvious outcome. A smart politician would try to play the repentant, flawed woman part, trying to gain traction among female voters. And she would have probably succeeded.

Like it? Yes and no. Who talks to their spouse that way “..so glad you could come…”.

But she is a relatively accurate representation of the creatures that our media puts into office.

It seems IMHO you really didn't care to fallow up on an outstanding part 1. If your heart wasn't into it you should have stopped there.

Part 2 and Part 3, lacked your willingness to continue a good story - making them boring. These parts were just rehash 'nothings.'

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This is how you treat your wanting readers,,, I just "un-followed" you.

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2.9*** hooyah

While

i really like your other stories; the ending on this one was very weak.

To the point it felt like it was missing.

But the affair was out in the open. Confused as to why it was big deal seemingly years later

Bad writing. Sorry...

Excellent.

You would think that even as a politician, that she would be capable of learning. Evidently not.

Great reading. Nice and quick. Lots of plot for so few words. Maybe throw it open like George Anderson or Kalimaxos did?

She is so morally corrupt, and truly does not realize it, that she makes tragedy sound like a nice thought. She lost her marriage, office and, in the end, her soul and no concern over it.

Hubby was a stand up guy, never lost his moral compass and had the integrity, and courage, to cut his losses.

I get the impression that 012say really didn’t want to continue this story. The last two chapters really didn’t add to the story, but more revisited the already discussed themes. I was kind of looking forward to finding out how the press conference was handled etc. And am left mildly disappointed.

Doesn't really go anywhere.

That’s a solid ending. Doris remained delusional. Paul isn’t going to stop until she quits politics altogether; and she deserves it.

Interesting when she describes how in business her husband knows when to cut his losses, she doesn't realize it applies to her too. 5 stars!

She truly is an amoral quasi sociopath.

Jim did well getting away. He's the one with good core values and the strength of integrity to uphold them. HIS integrity is not for sale. Hers was. Just that simple.