All Comments on 'The Shoot'

That is fucking hot! More!

Do you have cleanup duty yet?

Not worth reading. Try another line of work.

Slut. 5*

great story.. liked it a lot.. great build up..

Ignore the anonymous idiots.

The action was fine, but the errors were rampart! I had to re-read too many sentences in order to figure out who was doing whom.

Ironic, ain't it!

Spelling and grammar are an issue here but other wise keep writing.

This is simply smokin' hot! Thank you for sharing this post.

Why the *fuck* do people post comments insulting femdom & slut wife stories which basically translate to "i'm not into this".

If you don't like the premise then go to another story, retards.

I liked this over all. It was a simple set up nicely executed (well on the first page).

How a previous commenter couldn't understand who was doing what when there was only 3 people I do not understand.

The grammar and spelling issues are definitely present with the following one of the worst examples:

"My ears and eyes were in shock as I watched my wife aggressively fuck the shit out of another man four feet from me. His wet and pink pussy lips climbed u and down his shaft, engulfing him with a lustful hunger. She let her breast fall into his moth, and he sucked hard on her nipple as she groaned."

How are ears in shock? Fucking the shit out of - always sounds like you've made someone poo themselves. His wet pussy? Breast into moth = Squished moth.

Compared to the start, the attention paid to both content and execution by the end is terrible. Thankfully I'd orgasmed over the story before I got to that!

The final paragraphs are too long and need to be broken up, and they seem to have been typed one handed with the author's attention elsewhere ;)

I'm utterly, utterly shocked to see this had an editor: Ivan Ublyudok. Shame on you Ivan. This is awful, awful editing. You should withdraw from the editing pool on here.

Over all I really liked the first page and thought the second page was nowhere near as good. Re-edit this and take more care with the sex scene. And no wanking as you write!

Enjoyable story, Hope you share more. Could use some editing as there were several spelling and grammatical errors.

My wife loved the fucking bits. She wants to do the same , First photographed then

stripped and fucked hard and cummed inside her

Maybe you, and the rest of us will get lucky and someone will shoot you.

Maybe you should write part 2 where the couple divorce. I bet he never makes the same mistake again. Now I know he's hurt, and fuming. Get the fucking pictures dude. Make sure she never gets the kids, etc.

whore and wimp ,hope you love the pictures.