All Comments on 'The Silver Stars'

Enjoyable story!

5

Another Happy Ending!

And another straightforward leading lady!

You have my attention!

Thanks for your pages of Sweetness!

Shorter than your recent work Sister J but I like it just as much if not more. Now I want to read Jacinter and Edwin’s story- think you’re up to 20 chapters?

Too many typos and errors. Distracted from the reading.

My big complaint is that they were in the garden, their hands brushed and suddenly they were screwing. Way too quick and nowhere believable.

Not up to your usual. Were you rushed trying to get it finished?

I like my stories, folded, enveloped and put in the post box but I suppose I can live with it languishing on the hall table waiting for me to maybe remember to put the stamp on and mail it.

It filled my heart with joy to believe love is possible.

Thank you for your inspired work.

Interesting and lovely quick one from you. A reader of one of my stories once told me I needed to stop using cum all of the time and be more creative. The way you worked “love lava” in, so tongue in cheek, made me smile.

Thanks for your sorrow, Anonymous. I found two typos (in the same paragraph (which was a little off putting, I agree) and a grammatical error which I have fixed and submitted an edited version.

Several people have messaged me and told me that they like my writing, but the stories were too long so I set out to write a story that would come in in under 3 Lit pages. I tried not to draw out everything as I would normally do and assume my readers were smart people who could imagine that Lachy was feeling a little concerned about his sexual ability seeing his fiancée had cheated on him. Likewise, Erin is pretty inexperienced in sexual matters apart from what she has read and was unsure about how to approach this hot man who had come into her life unexpectedly. At first she shut right down when she mentioned she wrote short stories, only to open up later. Likewise Lachy found a way to open up about his week and past few months/years. I'm sorry you've never experienced the electricity of brushing hands and suddenly feeling lust for the other person, Anon, but perhaps you did need to read between the lines for the previous sections of the story in order for it to be believable.

Anon has brought up some interesting points though. This story took over a month to write and I have been editing it back and forth for over 3 weeks. It wasn't rushed at all and I'm sorry if it came off that way. I will be looking for a beta reader (other than my amazing partner!) in the New Year as I suspect this is a way that I will grow as a writer.

very much. I appreciate that your writing isn’t riddled with the errors that mark so many stories here. I find your writing flows easily and is a pleasure to read. I enjoyed the shorter format.

As always, thank you for writing, and thank you for sharing your work.

I remember we sang "silver stars" and others from "Five Australian Christmas Carols" at primary school. I like the way you evoked the Australian summer and Christmas. Though I live in the city I could just see that farm and country town baking in the heat. "Save water, shower with a friend", I remember frequent jokes (and not just jokes) about that.

Nice romance, unlike some readers I would have preferred it to be your usual length, it was over too soon for me. Your great strength is how well you capture Australian and Australians, as well as writing lovely romances.

Really a quite lovely story. I think I would have preferred a little more tension building up to their first kiss, but I have no genuine complaints about how it turned out. A fun, sweet story.

Now I have to go through your other stories and see how different the longer ones are in content and tone.

That's a nice story. I enjoyed the atmosphere, I liked how you put emphasis on certain elements, and I think they helped in describing a believable click. Although I agree with those who'd liked to have seen a bit more building up, especially concerning the juicy parts (the story is about a more-or-less successful erotic writer, so that raises expectations), I think you very well succeeded in your aims of writing a short story.

Xmas under the stars.

Nice to have a story from down under. Well done!

I gave it five stars. Not enough revenge sub plot on the business partner and now I am also hungry for Italian.

Have to look that up to be sure.

Cheers

Nicely done, SJ. And who hasn’t thrown caution to the wind with someone they barely know, especially if the conversation’s flowing and the attraction is palpable? The only thing missing from a Australian country Christmas experience is the sweaty bodies as the mercury pushes into the high 30s or low 40s, and the flies trying to get at the food!

Country starlight and fine dining. What’s not to stoke a romantic relationship? *****

Beautifully written

Many thanks, enjoyed this sweet story.

Hello from one Jezebel to another! I enjoyed your story--well written and fun! Mine should be approved in a day or two, and I would be honored if you would read it.

Thanks!

PrincessJezebel

This was sweet story, not too long (you met your goal!) and I didn't think it felt that rushed under the circumstances. Yes, Lachy and Erin got together pretty quick but sometimes that's the way it works out, particularly when the circumstances are right for it.

I related to and even got a kick out of Erin feeling as if she was writing above her experience level, but many of us do that to some extent. We all have different experiences, even of the same event, and when writing, we sometimes don't have the best understanding of some other perspective (be it the opposite sex, casual sex, cheating, or whatever). We do the best we can with what we know, what we research/read, and what we can imagine and hope that the readers will relate and enjoy. I think you did that here, whatever perspective you were coming from.

Well done. 5*

Sorry but you cannot win - I prefer longer stories so 3 pages is a little short for me but, hey, what you managed to pack into those 3 pages was amazing. Most short stories seem to involve 2 people only or a handful at best but you brought in so many giving you various oportunities to build on which you have done so and could easily do more with another chapter or two.

Re mistakes I assume I'm reading the re-posted version (13/12/20) but only found one but then I normally read for enjoyment. I don't think it's an Australianism but who knows. Woop Woop had me but at least Google solved that one???

I don't know the details about how long Summer school holidays are in Australia but I guess it must be a bit strange celebrating Christmas in the middle. There again, a Pom Christmas must be a bit peculiar to an Australian.

Loved it and easily worth 5 stars.

Weak wimpy Lachy lost his balls and ran from a cheating fiance and his business partner!! Fucking loser!! This cunt writer doesn't deal with the consequences of some vile peoples actions in the stories