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I don't even get to say goodbye to Brooke. In the middle of my sets, I catch a glimpse of Brian leading her into their car, his hand wrenched around her arm in a way that could almost seem nurturing, guiding; that is, if I didn't already know the situation. Brooke doesn't even glance back. She shuts the door, and their navy blue Explorer drives away.
"Focus, Mason, focus! Come on." And then, I'm back to training.
- COMMENTS
ScottishTexanabout 1 year agoWow...that was extremely dark and depressing. But kudos for the artistic effort that you put into it! Seriously, I found it very close to something that would come from a professional writer who earns a living creating stories like this. 5/5 for the craftsmanship.
But I don't think that you should have left the audience in the dark about Mason's issues like you did. You danced all around "the incident" without ever letting us know what exactly happened. Mason has mental health issues that are supposedly connected back to this vague undisclosed tragedy. But we're still left scratching our heads over what it could possibly be.
The whole opening of the story left me confused and disoriented as I tried to make heads or tails out of exactly what was going on. It wasn't until Blair breaks out the cocaine and mollies that the story started making some kind of sense to me. I realize that you were probably being intentionally vague about the background of the characters and how they related to one another. But it left me in confusion and I didn't enjoy at least one-third of the story because of it. I'm hoping that future parts of this story keep the drug abuse minimal or (even better) nonexistent. 3/5
Anonymousabout 1 year agoWhat’s this weird flavor dick shit? Let’s move past that nonsensical stuff please.
Anonymousabout 1 year agoA true fantasy. Never have I read something quite like this. I hope the direction continues.
Anonymousabout 1 year agoVery well written sorry. Something a bit different with interesting characters. Definitely looking forward to part two.
collin4xxxabout 1 year agoLooking forward to Ch. 2, and hoping that he’s soon getting sis pregnant too. I could see the four of them living together as a unique, but happy family. And having lots of babies. Blair needs a direct injection. As well as his sister. And it seems as though his sister’s fiancé needs a serious “beat down” too, right before he’s sent packing. Along with Tom & Jerry….
He could legally marry Sophie, after she divorced he useless husband. And I don’t think that the four of them would have any problem sharing the same bed, or him.
