The Squeak - A Fart Story

Most woods have a path - The most common walked ground among the unpredictable growth of nature. Rachel and Olivia were more adventurous than that. Why would they let a path tell them where to go? Had somebody told the trees where they could and could not grow? Absolutely not - Their souls strived to be as free as the world around them.

Exploring through lesser-walked parts of their local woods was a bit more challenging, of course. With nobody keeping the area well-maintained, branches scatter the floor, providing hazards anybody could succumb to. Moreover, the tree trunks were much more tightly packed together. A lot of squeezing, climbing, and finding new ways around were required. There were signs of previous visitors, too - A den here, a tire swing there... But overall, they loved the quiet that the path-less-travelled provided.

Another challenge became clear to Rachel the further she pressed on - A growing pressure in her stomach. Her treat of a breakfast burrito may not have been the wisest morning meal. Groans periodically emanated from her belly, thankfully not loud enough for Olivia to hear. As they came to a large fallen trunk and began to climb over it, Rachel had to clench harder to keep it all in.

She succeeded. At least, during the climb. As soon as her feet hit the floor on the other side, knowingly or not, her body relaxed just enough...

*Brrrt*

A high-pitch noise escaped her backside, piercing through the silence of the forest. Her heart dropped for a moment. It was very short, hardly even half-a-second in length. She instinctively began to clench again as soon as she felt the gas releasing, but she knew it was too little too late. Rachel pretended that everything was normal, whilst Olivia acted like she didn't hear anything to save her friend from embarrassment.

"So," Rachel began to speak loudly afterwards, as if trying to cover up a noise that has already occurred, "do you think that, um," - She wasn't quite sure where she was going with her sentence. Her mouth was moving faster than her mind could keep up.

Olivia, despite her best efforts, burst out laughing.

"What?" Rachel acted innocent, despite knowing that it was hardly worth it at this point.

"Sorry, it was just really funny," Olivia leaned against a tree as her laugh died down a little. She noticed Rachel's face turning bright red.

"Oh, Rachel, who gives a shit? It's fine!"

"It's embarrassing though!" she protested.

Olivia wanted her friend to be comfortable, so she offered solace the only way she knew how... "Wait, Rachel, do you hear that?"

Olivia's face scrunched up as she bent her knees slightly.

*Vlorp*

A low, strange, bassy sound came from her butt. It wasn't quite the sound either of them expected a fart to make - They both burst out in laughter.

"I'm gonna cry, that sounded like you shat yourself," Rachel felt the embarrassment seep away slightly, feeling in a much lighter mood.

"I swear I didn't," Olivia could hardly speak between the breaths that her laugh would allow her. It was the kind of laugh that's so intense it wasn't even making a sound.

Rachel's laugh followed suit - Completely soundless. The next audible noise from her body came from the opposite end.

*bbbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrttttttttttt*

A longer 5-second squeak, matching the pitch of her first short burst, escaped her clenches. The noise of it shook slightly with each convulsion of her body caused by her laugh. Through it all she just couldn't hold it in any longer. She physically felt the insides of her stomach seem to deflate, as the gas moved its way down. She had to admit to herself, she felt unbelievably relieved. The pressure leaking out of her felt incredible to finally rid.

"Stop, oh my God, I can hardly breathe," Olivia found her words as she wiped a tear from her eye.

A slight odour caught Rachel's attention, "Unless you want to breathe even less we should carry on before the smell rises."

The two carried on walking, taking a few minutes before their laughs became giggles, and their giggles became smiles.

Far from the scene of the crime, Rachel felt another bubble growing inside of her. It felt like it might be silent - Plus, feeling more comfortable with Olivia hearing her bodily functions, she didn't care so much about the potential sound this time. She slowed down her walking slightly to allow her core to push properly.

*ppppppppppttttttttttttt*

A much louder, higher-pitch fart escaped her. "Oops, I thought that'd be silent."

"Why are they so high pitch?" Olivia questioned with a smile,

"They're not usually," Rachel responded, "I think I have so much gas it's just coming out more forcefully, I guess?" The thought of this made Olivia laugh harder.

The bad side about taking the path less travelled? You never expect anybody else to be there.

"What was that squeak?"

A man's voice came from somewhere in the trees. They couldn't quite tell what direction.

"Maybe a bird? Check the bird guide, what species are around here?"

A woman's voice replied to him.

Like deer in headlights, Rachel and Olivia looked at each other, their faces frozen with their mouths open slightly. They knew *exactly* what the squeak was. Species: Rachel's Gas.

They stood like that for a moment - Just a moment.

Then they ran before the mystery couple could solve the puzzling sound's location. Their giggles echoed through the woods as they climbed, ducked, and jumped through the natural obstacles. Another fart slipped out during this daring escape, but thankfully for Rachel, it was silent. She was moving too fast to find out whether she had dropped a lingering smell throughout the unexpected get away.

Indeed, the path less travelled is always full of unexpected surprises.