The State of Mind Called Age

Sandy laughed.

"That's all? I could have done that."

Walt picked up his hammer and tapped the end of the beam to make sure it was tight against the house, then took his impact driver and screws and put one short screw in the joist hanger and one in the post cap.

He turned to Sandy and smiled.

"Now, we put another one right beside this one."

This time, once Walt had the end of the board in the joist hanger on the house, Sandy lifted up her end and put it in the post cap beside the first one, then picked up the hammer Walt had left there.

"I'll tap it so tell me when to stop."

She gave the board three taps before Walt yelled, "OK, it's in." Walt then put all in all the screws required by code for securing the beam to the house. When he walked back to Sandy, she was grinning. He asked her what was so funny, and she chuckled.

"It's what you said when you told me to stop hitting the board. It reminded me of an old joke I heard once. See, this woman was talking to another woman and she told the other woman that her boyfriend was so small she couldn't tell if he had his...well, if he was in position, so to speak. She'd have to ask him if it was...well you probably already heard it.""

Walt chuckled. He hadn't expected to hear something like that from an older woman, but then, he hadn't expected Sandy to volunteer to help him either. He wasn't prepared for what she said when he picked up an handful of screws and started driving them through the post cap and into the other half of the beam.

She giggled.

"Looks like you're gonna be doing a lot of screwing before all these beams are up."

Walt had to smile because Sandy had apparently made another joke.

"Well, I could use nails but I like screws better. Screwing the boards in place is easier on me than swinging a hammer, and I don't have to worry that screws will loosen up. They'll stay snug and tight in the wood for years and years."

He didn't have the last word though. Sandy giggled again.

"That's a good idea. I'd rather have snug and tight too."

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That's how Walt and Sandy put up the rest of the deck beams. They'd carry a board to the house. Walt would hook the end into the joist hanger while Sandy lifted it into the post cap and then tapped it towards the house until Walt told her to stop. He didn't tell her it was in again though. He'd just say "that's good" and then drive in one screw and walk back to the post to do the same thing there.

When they finished the last of the five beams, it was almost five. After Walt walked down the length of each beam and drove a longer screw through both boards in a zigzag pattern every sixteen inches, he put his driver back in the cart and said that was enough for today.

Sandy smiled.

"I had fun today. I'll probably be sore tomorrow, but I had fun. What are we going to do tomorrow?"

Walt chuckled.

"I figured you'd had enough for a while. Tomorrow, I'll start putting the joists on the beams. The joists aren't as heavy, but there will be a lot more of them because instead of about six feet apart like the beams, they'll only be sixteen inches apart. That's so the deck boards don't feel springy when you walk on them."

"Will there be two boards together like today?"

Walt shook his head.

"No. I only sistered the beams because it takes two of them to support the weight when they're spread as far apart as the beams are."

Sandy twisted her mouth.

"You said "sistered" again. Why do they call it that?"

Walt shrugged.

"I don't know. That's just what I learned to call it when you fasten two boards together side by side."

Sandy grinned again.

"If I had a sister, I wouldn't have wanted to be that close to her much after I was twelve. I think they should have called it something else, like spooning or maybe coupling. That would make more sense to me."

Walt didn't know what to say. This was the third time Sandy had seemed to think about sex when he said something. She always grinned when she did, too, so he was pretty sure it was intentional. He decided he had to change the subject.

"So, are you going to help me tomorrow? It'll probably be boring. It's just sitting the two by eight's on top of the beams and toenailing them down. Once those are all in, I'll put in blocking every four feet so they won't twist under a load."

Sandy grinned.

"Trying to get rid of me, aren't you? Well, I'm not easily bored, well, except for when I'm washing my underwear. That's boring as hell. Yes, I'll be here. I can help you carry boards if nothing else, and I'll bring us a gallon thermos of iced tea."

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As Walt lay in bed that night, he was trying to figure out Sandy. For some reason, she wanted to help him, and she wasn't bashful about saying so. It was just odd. Betty would have watched, but she'd never have done anything so physical or that got her so sweaty. By the time they'd finished, Sandy had dark spots on her T-shirt under her arms and breasts.

It wasn't that he minded Sandy helping him. It felt good to have a woman with him after all the years since Betty died. Sherry kept telling him he needed to find a woman but Walt didn't know what he could possibly offer one. While he was fairly well off financially, he was still sixty-six and any relationship with a woman would probably be as just a friend. He couldn't see himself being with a woman like he had with Betty when he was forty. He hadn't really felt that drive in a long time.

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The next morning, Walt was carrying floor joists to the deck when Sandy walked across the yard. She was wearing a tank top instead of a T-shirt, and her shorts were different. They looked fuller in the legs.

"I see you started without me. What do you want me to do?"

Walt thought he'd probably have been faster by himself, but between the two of them, they carried his stack of floor joists and put them on the same scrap two by fours on the ground. Then Walt stepped to the side of the nearest the house and started marking out the joist locations. Sandy climbed up on the beam to watch.

When she straddled the beam, her shorts moved up her thighs, and as Walt moved down the beam, Sandy moved with him. She was just sliding on the beam instead of raising up, moving, and then sitting down. As a result, her shorts moved up even further, far enough Walt could see most of her inner thighs.

Walt had made two lines on the beam, one for each side of the joist when Sandy leaned over to look at both lines.

"Why did you make two lines?"

It took Walt a few seconds to answer Sandy. The reason was her tank top didn't fit very tight. When she leaned over, it fell open and Walt was looking at her breasts nestled in her bra cups.

"Uh...well, I make a line on the beam for each side of the joist. That way the joists will all stay straight and in line."

Sandy raised back up.

"Why is that important?"

"Well, I just like all the screws in the deck boards to be in line."

Sandy grinned.

"So you'll be screwing the deck boards too?"

"Yes. If they're nailed down, the nails will eventually loosen up and they'll squeak. The screws will stay tight."

Walt finished laying out that beam and then moved to the center beam and started the process again. Like before, Sandy climbed up on that beam to watch. After Walt had measured the location of the second joist and marked it, Sandy asked another question.

"This time, you're making three lines on the beam instead of just two. Why is that?"

"Well, half the deck will have the joists where I marked them on the first beam and on the second and third line on this one. The joists on the second half will be sistered to the first joists but an inch and a half different on the far beam."

Sandy chuckled.

"There you go with that sistering thing again. Sounds pretty naughty to me."

Walt didn't say anything. He just laid out the joist locations for the center beam and then the far beam. Then, he picked up a chalk line and hooked it over a line on the center beam and then walked around the posts until he was at the far beam. When he pulled on the chalk line to tighten it, it slipped off the center beam.

Sandy yelled, "I'll put it back and hold it there. Which line does it go on?"

Walt sat the body of the chalk line on the beam and then walked back to the center beam where Sandy sat.

"It goes on this one, the farthest from the house. See the little hole in the hook with the pointer. Hook the hook over the beam and then move it until the pointer is on the line. That's where it should go."

He handed the hook of the chalkline to Sandy. She hooked it over the beam and then move it to line up with the line.

"Like this?"

Walt nodded and then walked back to the far beam.

"OK, now don't let it move."

Walt laid the chalk line on the layout line, pulled it tight, and then lifted the line a couple inches and then let it go. The chalk line snapped down and made a mark on the beams between the far and center beams.

Walt looked up and then said, "OK, Sandy. Move the hook to the middle line."

Sandy moved the hook, then looked up and said, "OK, it's there."

It took an hour to mark all five of the beams, and when they finished, Walt was happy Sandy had been there to help. He could have done it by himself, of course, but it went a lot faster with Sandy helping. The only problem he was having was that after that first one, Sandy had stood on the ground and bent over so she could move the hook easier. Since she was facing him, every time she bent over, he was looking at her bra. By the time they finished, Walt was having thoughts he hadn't had in years.

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Sandy smiled as she watched Walt reel the chalk line back inside the reel. She'd seen him looking and that made her feel good about herself. Not many men really looked at her anymore, not like they had before. She'd tried to stay the same way she was before the kids, but that had proven to be almost impossible. She did lose most of the weight she gained when pregnant, but there was nothing she could do about her breasts and hips.

Her bras were now two cup sizes larger than when she and Willie married, and her hips had widened because of the pregnancies. Her doctor said both were normal. Sandy looked in the mirror after she took a shower and thought that it might be normal, but it still made her feel like she'd changed for the worse.

Willie hadn't minded. If anything, he wanted her more. He said she looked like a woman now, not like some teenage girl. He even kept saying that when things changed again as she turned fifty. Her waist got a little bigger then as did her thighs and hip cheeks, and neither were as firm as before. Sandy thought she looked terrible. Willie had just cupped her sagging hips and said there was just more of her to love now.

Sandy had seen Walt stealing glances at her the day before, and she'd decided to give him a little more to look at. Mostly that was because seeing him look at her had made her feel better about herself, but part of it was also that Walt seemed to be pretty cautious about doing it. He didn't just look directly at her and then smile. He'd just looked when he thought she couldn't see him looking, and as soon as she looked back, he'd turn his head and go on working. That made Sandy feel good too. It was kind of like when she was in high school and boys wanted to look at her but were afraid she'd catch them.

The tank top had done what she'd hoped it would do. Walt hadn't tried to look like he wasn't looking at her much, and she'd seen him smiling when she bent over to move the little hook on the board.

Sandy looked up then and saw Walt walking to his garage. When he came back, he was riding on his lawn tractor and pulling his wagon behind it. He stopped a ways from the deck and walked to where he'd left the extension cord the day before, picked up the end, and then walked back to the wagon. A second later, Sandy heard a motor start so she walked over to see what he was doing.

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Walt had bought the air compressor and the framing nailer when he decided to rebuild his deck. It would make the project go faster than hand nailing everything and he was sure it would save him some pain in his right shoulder. That shoulder had been bothering him lately. He was uncoiling the air hose when Sandy asked what he was doing.

"Oh, I'm going to use nails to fasten the joists to the beams and I bought this air nailer to make that easier. It'll drive a three and a half inch nail in about a second instead of me hammering away for half a minute. Screws would do the same, but nails are cheaper than screws and the joist just needs something to keep it from moving from side to side. An air nailer is pretty loud though, so you might not want to be very close when I'm nailing. I'll have my earmuffs on, but you won't have anything to protect your ears."

Sandy grinned.

"Yes I will. Just wait a couple minutes and I'll be back."

With that, she walked off toward the back door of her house. When she came back, she was carrying a set of earmuffs just like Walt's except hers were pink. She walked up to Walt smiling.

"After Willie died, I had to mow the grass around our house so I bought these to wear when I ran the mower. They ought to do the job."

Sandy helped Walt put the first joist on the beams and then held it steady while he toenailed it to the beam on the end. Then he walked down to the center beam, lined the joist up with his mark, and put in another nail.

Sandy was watching, and as soon as Walt put in the second nail, she said something he could barely hear because of his earmuffs. Walt took off his earmuffs and waited until Sandy did the same.

"What was that you said?"

"I said the joist doesn't look straight. It has a curve in the middle."

"Most of these boards will have some curve to them. That's why we used a chalkline to mark the beam between these two. I'll push this joist over and nail it on the chalk marks so it will be straight. Watch and I'll show you."

Sandy put her earmuffs back on and followed Walt to the beam in the middle of the board and watched as he used his hip to move the joist until it was lined up with the chalk marks. He then shot in a nail on each side of the board and into the two boards of the beam. He took off his earmuffs then, and so did Sandy.

"See how that works?"

Walt wasn't really listening to her answer because Sandy was standing on one side of the joist and leaning over to look at where he'd put the nails. Her top had fallen open just like before, but this time he was only inches away from her instead of several feet.

He could see her white bra, but he could also see the soft swell of both her breasts. She raised up a little then, moved closer to him, and then bent over to look at the nail on his side of the joist. Her breasts slipped up in her bra cups enough he could see the darker skin of her nipple beds.

Sandy didn't seem to notice that he was staring down her top. She raised up and smiled.

"So this is what we're gonna do to all of these? No wonder you didn't want to hammer in all these nails by hand. "

Walt moved from that beam to the one at the end.

"I'm not done with this one yet. I have to put another nail in each end. You'd best put your earmuffs back on."

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As they carried joists from the stack, positioned them, and Walt toenailed them into place, Sandy saw him keep looking at her and a couple times he even smiled. She'd worn this top and kept bending over to see what he'd do. Maybe she wasn't as bad as she thought. Walt wouldn't have smiled if he didn't like what he was seeing. None of the men in the grocery store seemed to smile. Oh, they'd look if she was dressed up a little like she always did when she went shopping, but the look on their faces was just a look -- no smile or frown or anything else.

Of course, those men were always younger and she did see them smiling when they looked at a younger woman. She figured that was because those younger women always dressed to make their boobs show some and to show off their tight butts and long legs. The only women who didn't were the women who were fat. They didn't seem to care how they looked and neither did the men, just like they didn't seem to care about how she looked.

The first year after Willie died, Sandy had missed him a lot. After that, he was more of a memory that made her smile except for one thing she still missed. She missed they way he touched her. Even after he'd had problems having sex, he'd still touched her and told her she was sexy. They'd found a way to cope with the times when Willie couldn't, and she missed those times as well as the way he'd touched her. Maybe if Walt liked the way she looked...

Sandy shook her head then. Walt probably wouldn't understand if she suggested anything and he might not want to anyway. His wife had been dead for ten years he'd said, and if he hadn't found another woman by now, he probably didn't want to. If she said anything, he'd probably think she was either crazy or too brazen and tell her to go home and stay there. She'd live the next year next door to a man who didn't like her.

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As Walt nailed the joists in place, he was thinking too. Sandy had to know what that tank top did when she bent over. She seemed to consciously do that in a way that he could see down the top. Maybe it wasn't consciously, but she seemed to do that anytime they were standing close together. Was she trying to tell him something?

They'd both grown up at a time when women weren't supposed to talk about sex, and in fact, some mothers even told their daughters they weren't supposed to like having sex. Sex was just something women did to please their husbands. Sandy was probably raised the same way, and even if she hadn't been, they'd only known each other for a few days. No, the way she bent over was probably just so she could see better and she didn't realize what her top was doing.

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They finished nailing the joists on half the deck by noon and Sandy was still thinking about how Walt was looking at her. Was there some way she could keep his interest until he finally said something? Maybe there was.

"Hey Walt, I'm starving. What are you doing for lunch?"

Walt didn't really have any plans except for a ham and cheese sandwich.

"Just a sandwich like usual. Why?"

"Well, I made some fried chicken for dinner last night and there's a lot left over. What would you say to some cold chicken and some potato salad?"

Walt was finding it difficult to tell Sandy no about anything. After lunch, he was glad he'd agreed. Sandy's potato salad came from a plastic container from the grocery store and tasted good, but her fried chicken was great. So was sitting in her kitchen and talking while they ate, though there were some uncomfortable moments there too.

When Sandy sat the plate of cold, fried chicken on the table, she said, "I ate the breast last night, but there's still the pulley bone part and the thighs and legs. My Willie always liked thighs and legs the best. He said they tasted different than the breast. Do you like thighs and legs?"

Sandy was grinning that grin again, and Walt was pretty sure she wasn't talking the chicken. He decided to play along just a little to see what she'd do.

"Well, yes, but I like the breast too. They do taste a little different but it's mostly the texture that's different. The breast is kind of firm but soft too. Thighs and legs are mostly firm and not quite as soft. I don't know that I have a preference. It's all good."

Sandy grinned again.

"We'd get along just fine then. Want the other thigh? Willie always said one wasn't enough. Well, after he got older, he could only do one but he always said that one was really great."

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As Walt put up his nailer and compressor for the night, he had to smile. Sandy was obviously hinting at something. He couldn't decide if she was just being playful or if she was serious. When Betty was alive, women had been polite to him and never said anything that could be interpreted as anything except normal conversation. After she died, most women his age were married and any conversation was usually about work because he'd never been with a woman socially.