All Comments on 'The Stein Ch. 03'

I loved the mystery and suspense behind the story. Thanks.

Great story and great ending.

K.K.

Be proud of yourself. Your ability to write this story shows just how good you are because it flowed, told a creditable story that pulled the reader in, and concluded with all questions answered. Thank You! Ronnie W.

Another signature K.K. story. Thank you for another very good read.

Loved this tale. Well written and intriging. A few typos but nothin serious.

You can replace Ellery Queen this way, KK!!

Keep giving us more!!

I still cannot digest why she did not tell the police the truth before they figured out she was lying. The way John threatened her into sticking to the lie, should show her he was a real asshole and make her doubt that it was an accident. She also should have replayed what happened that day a thousand time and reached the conclusion that John whispered something to her husband that makes him a suspect.

She was dumb at two accounts in Germany. First, she should not take anything from someone who flirts with her. She should have returned it to him whey she discovered his intent. Second, she should have never lied to her husband about the stein and gave it to him as a gift.

I thought the way he took her back was a little rushed although she spent several miserable days and nights. They should have talked before he opened his arms wide.

Another thing I did not like about the story was holding back information from the time line until very late. Since it was Eric telling the story, he should have told us what he discovered or inferred at the time he did it not say it later by the way I did this and that a while back. I realize some would do that for the suspense, but there are other elements of suspense that are still there. There is key information that Eric did not know until the very end, so the cheap suspense tricks were not warranted.

That was a great story. At this level of complexity, it is really something if someone like me only has these little things to complain about.

Thanks. Please keep it up.

can i say more. not about the author or his abilities, definitely one of the best. but!!! i can say more about the story. I agree somewhat with minigales, there are unaswered questions in this story. why would a wife lie to the husband she loves about a stein. why would she withold info about a man who had make a supposedly big pass at her. why would she allow this man into her house with her there alone. why when her beloved husband was lying there dying in her arms, did she make a concious decision to lie to the police, her family, her friends, and to her loving husband. all to protect and cover up for a man that she supposedly neither care for or had any relationship with. who by the way is now dead and can not refute her statements. she passed a lie detector test that experts admit can be fooled. to many unanswered questions for me. forgiveness would still be a long way off.

Eric has to be the dumbest fuck to ever grace the pages of Literotica. And his loving wife is a slut. This story was well written in spite of the flaws in the characters.

You keep raising the damn BAR! i will have to struggle to even come anywhere near your last two stories. makes it hard on the writers with you so far out in front.

Oh, well. There are others who are trying too. the site is getting better and better.

Way to go KK

H20wader

This was a great story...not as sexy as i like them for this venue, but the mystery aspects of the story was very good.

K.K. I've been waiting all day to get home to read the final chapter!! And it was every bit as good as I expected it would be!!! THANKS for your efforts and I'm already looking forward to your next story!!

Super, super story loved it. well written a great husband and wife story. thanks for writting it

I think the story was good and I look for anything new from you. Thanks.

I loved the story as I was nervously on the edge of my seat reading it.

Having said that, I must point out that there were a number of anomalies in the story. Parker never had much of a voice, we heard from him through Nicky. She got to give whatever version of the story she chose. I'll only mention a few things.

1- The AVERAGE BURGLAR drove up to Nicky's house, got out of his car/cab, got his luggage out of the car/cab, walked up to the FRONT door, inserted HIS KEY in the lock (which everybody in the house heard and which made them wonder how a burglar got a key), unlocked the door, walked into the house, closed the door, put his luggage down, rummaged in the living room for two minutes, picked his luggage up and proceeded up the stairs to the second floor. All this average burglar activity scared poor little Nicky so badly that she hid in a closet.

About that time, my wife would have been preparing to welcome me home while simultaneously dialing 911.

2- Parker shot someone and Nicky talked multiple times about dialing 911 but didn't do it for eight minutes while the husband she loved oh-so-dearly almost bled to death. I know, it took time for Nicky to get out the closet. During and after the 911 call, Nicky was persuaded to go along with a conspiracy to cover up the potential manslaughter of her beloved husband as he lay bleeding to death. What a loving wife she is!

My wife would have been multi-tasking by calling 911, plugging up my bullet holes, going verbally berserk at Parker, throwing everything not nailed down at him and even bashing him over the head with lamps.

Conspiracy? As soon as the police got there, my wife would have made it plain that I was shot in cold blood by Parker, she had no part in this whatsoever and she expected the police to arrest Parker on the spot.

3- No loving wife would have met Parker again (at the hospital) without going berserk. This guy damn near killed her husband!

The problem with any story is that without some suspension of disbelief, the story really doesn't work. Realism just isn't particularly interesting.

Again, the story was great! I loved it! It's over? What am I going to do now? Wait anxiously for the next one, I guess.

Thank you for your storytelling efforts!

Phil

It was a good story the only problem is one that has been already pointed out.

If in fact the loving wife never had an affair with John then there is no way to inplicate her. But she went along with his plan to cover for the accident while her husband bled to possible death.

Reading a comment reminded me of something else (that was not mentioned in that comment). When Parker chased Eric to Las Vegas and he just missed him, how the hell did he know Eric went back to LA? He obviously did not trail him. Otherwise, he would have caught him before reaching the motel. He should have thought he was out in the town and would be back since it was really a stroke of luck that Eric figured out Parker was snooping around his work place.

Another dumb thing about Parker is when he was at Eric's house. Why the hell was he in the kitchen? He obviously was not afraid. He was actually obsessed. He wanted to kill him even if it was the last thing he did in his life. He should have waited at the door or just outside where car headlights and whatnot would expose Eric's coming in. Yet another dumb thing, since the electricity was out for a while, why did not Parker get a flash light?

A story in this level of complexity needs a committee of editors to review before publishing, but it was great.

KK, another fine story. I really liked the way you used the red herring of the suspected affair to mask what was really going on.

As I read the end of the story, I was wondering how you would deal with all of the nay sayers who would be convinced that Nicky really did have an affair. I saw some questions, but not too many out and out doubters so my hat is off to you. It can be hard to convince some readers on this site that a wife is innocent!

That being said, there are a few loose ends in this story that I wish you had filled in. You responded to the eight minute gap, but here are some other questions that I had.

1. Why was Parker riding with Nicky that day (and thus at her house)? If he had been making passes at her, I would have thought that she would have tried to avoid being alone with him. It also makes no sense that she would have brought him to her house when she went to get changed. Perhaps the story would have been tighter if he had followed her home without her consent?

2. More important, where in the hell did the gun come from? You suggest in part three that Parker knew that Eric was out of town and that Nicky was going to pick him up at the airport. So it is doubtful that Parker went to the house with the intent to shoot Eric. So I am left to assume that the timing of the shooting was a coincidence and that Parker just seized on the moment. Thus the question is raised why did Parker have a gun with him, particularly since it is suggested that they had started the day at school? For a teacher to bring a pistol to school is very risky. This just does not fit. One nice twist would have been for the gun to have been Eric's and for Nicky to have told Parker where it was.

3. How did Parker know the police were looking for him. By the way that Parker dissapeared at the airport and never went home, it seems likely that he knew that they were looking for him. Did someone warn him or did he see them watching his house?

4. Why did the police wait until Wednesday to let Eric know that Parker was on the loose? Yes he was out of town, but I would have thought that they would have warned him.

My final comment is about Nicky. I understand your desire to have a happy ending, but Nicky, as you wrote her, is incredibly stupid. There is no way that she could have thought that the shooting was an accident when she went in for questioning.

Yes she may have been in shock and not wanting to think about the shooting. Yes, Parker did threaten her to not tell the truth. Yes she might have been frightened that Eric would not believe her. But she would have had to be brain dead to believe that this shooting was an accident.

Further, her breaking the stein suggests that she knew it was not an accident. Which leads to the question why did she try to protect the guy who shot her husband?

There are a few main reasons she should have known this was not an accident. The first reason is one you address to some degee with her claiming she did not think about it: the fact that there were three shots and the time gap between the first shot and the other two shots. One shot is an accident. Three shots with a gap between them is premeditation. If she had thought about this at all, she would have had to suspect that it wasn't an accident.

The second reason is the comment Parker whispered in Eric's ear. "That's for Sarah" doesn't sound like it was an accident. If she heard him say that, that blows the accident theory out the window. At the very least, it should have made her suspicious.

Another reason is Parker's insistence on covering his tracks. Even if he was worried about this, his obvious lack of concern for Eric should have tipped her off that something was wrong.

The final and perhaps most important reason is the luggage. Nicky is in the room numerous times when it is specifically pointed out that Eric was carrying two bags of luggage when he was shot. But she accepts without question Parker's statement that he thought Eric had a gun? Shouldn't this have made her wonder?

I guess my problem is that, due to the needs of the story, you have Nicky hiding the truth for almost two weeks before she finally confesses after Eric proves that she was in the house. During that time, she must have had her nose rubbed in the truth far too many times for her not to figure out that the shooting was no accident. For her not to figure it out is pretty incredible.

One possible alternative would have been some additional interaction between Parker and Nicky at school after the shooting. (you could make it part of her confession). Perhaps she confronts him with the fact that she knows it is not an accident and he theatens/blackmails her to keep her quiet? Perhaps he tells her that he has gotten his revenge on Eric, but if she says anything, that he will finish the job and kill them both? This would fit in with her being unhappy at school and her ongoing mental deterioration.

Anyway, enough picking nits. This was a fine story and I appreciate it.

This was a really great story KK. I spent way too much time reading it today and now I will have to pay for that by working late tonight.... hahaha Oh well, the price we pay to read excellence.

I loved the story, there was nothing about it I didn't like. I think I knew that she would be found innocent of any cheating very early on, but it was good to wait until the end to know for sure.

I have always enjoyed reading your work and look forward eagerly to your next.

Charleybear

There are a few major flaws and silly comments; don't take the silly negative criticism seriously:

A woman as smart and trust worthy as Nicky, willing to cooperate with the gym teacher,,, didn't say anything to Eric, or the police, immediately.

3 shots, which she never heard too well, while hiding in the closet, now? LOL What kind of stupidity is that?

I work with teachers everday; no one carries a loaded gun to another person's (friend, guests, colleague) bedroom!

8 minutes have gone by before SHE could call the ambilance?

"That's for Sarah," Nicky thought she heard the gun man colleague teacher leaned and whispered to her dying hubby, as he left some 8-9 minutes later, but NOT until after, he TOLD HER, he THRASHED their living room, to make sure it a burglar situation LIKE HE TOLD HER IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!

LOL!

She's a high school teacher now? Total lunacy. And Eric, best of all (the author said), the loving husband, said:

"All I had to find out whether she lied about ANY important thing was whether she broke the STEIN; that held the key to everything... I immediately came to the conclusion that guy's just nuts; that she had nothing to do with all this."

What a total idiotic funny charater!

The polygraph is nothing but a psychologial scheming thing; it does not tell whether someone lies or not. It simply measures "surprises"; most of us won't pass it, with a clever "lie detector" questioner intending to not "pass" us,,, most professional criminals would pass it without so much as blinking an eye. No court allows it as permissible.

Whether Nicky's been fucking that obsessive gun man or is irrelevant to us, if it is not important to Eric! He KNOWS, he says confidnetly, she didn't do it! LOL

Folks, we're talking about a woman who simply nods to, and, she said, TOTALLY believed, a person who had just shot her husband, multiple times, with blood all over their stairways, in THEIR HOUSE,,,

"You must not say any thing to the police,,, other than what I've just told you. It's an accident, okay?" "Okay," she said!

The tears and suffering,,, oh, it's likely true: I'm sure her gullible husband laid close to dying from someone she had in her bedroom, about to "seduce" her ("but I would never cheat on you, Eric, you know me"! LOL!) --- I'm sure that made her suffer a lot of mental anguish alright, LOL!

"It's all a big mistake, compounded by confusion, honey,,, but I love you so much!" Do we know who --- Nicky or Eric -- said that?

Two rathar dumb people, with one lovingly scheming while (the ability to produce tears on demand helps!) the other lovingly gullible; the next "colleague" she brought home, with a gun, (she won't know anything about it before hand, of course!), won't miss Eric for sure! (oh, that's right she's quit her teaching post now!)

If I were ERic, I would be thinking about major "insurance" policies, now,,, to make sure I'm safe or safer! God forbid, if something aweful and/or similar like that happened to me again, and I don't survive, I wanna make sure my loving wife (now without a job) is well taken care off! LOL

Another damn fine story KK. Keep 'em comin'.

Great artists are allowed get any 'artistic freedom'.

This don't makes them less great.

It is preferable to look at their overall effect, rather than single details.

So I think KK achieved his aim.

Socrates1948

Just a wonderful tale told with terrific empathy, plot planning and development of a plausible theme. Extremely well done. A story that would stand head and shoulders above the good on any forum.......but lacks a little pussy pounding for this genre, don't you think??

Nonetheless, a fine work that pushes your already lofty standard higher, KK.

I left it alone till you posted the third chapter, and was glad I did. Some of the work on this site is now so good that we are late to work and asleep at the desk!

Really looking forward to your next offering, hope it's not too long coming!

ps Did I mention that we want some more pussy pounding?

I agree with H2Owader! You have certainly raised the bar and with capecodmercury's further advice, you will likely get even better.

I'm looking forward to more from you and to continuing to struggle to be half as good.

However I do have a couple of problems with it. First of all no loving caring wife would hesitate even one second to call 911 when her husband was shot. She would not have waited even a moment. She would have told Parker that he was nuts and that she cared only to get her husband help, not that the police would think she and Parker did it.

Next after Parker get's taken away to die. He waited till the next day to watch the tape. I personally would have wanted to watch the tape right away. Wasn't that why he left the hotel in the first place. The fact that he was too tired to watch it then was an indication that the plot was pushed. In other words if he had watched the tape then the story would be entirely different from that point on.

om my god how bad is this story?

what a waste of time and classic KK bullshit...

No actual cheating by the idiot wife... but

1) she lets her husband bleeds to near for several minutes

2) lies to the police

3) lies for the benefir of Parker

4) Hears Parker say "this is for sarah.."

5) Knows that the sequnce of shots proves the shooting could NOT possibly be an accident

and the husband takes her back?

I am sorry KK, but I must agree with the others.

No one can say anything about your writing skills. They're top notch. But, your storyline... no way!

It almost looks like you started your plot in one direction, than revamped everything, ending with your now happy ending. Her part seems to have more holes than substance.

Accident or not, any woman who loves her husband will not be friendly with someone who shot her husband. Not to the extent that she was. Not enough for her to cover for him.

Secondly, no woman would allow herself to be alone with someone, who had made such unwanted advances towards her before. That’s natural feminine instinct and learned behavior. No adult female would fall for such.

Well written and enjoyable. Thank you.

He must be in love to accept that she didn't call for medical assistance immediately. Even if it had been a burglar in that condition, I would expect her to summon aid as quickly as possible.

But the story is just written so very well, that inconsistancy pales into the plot. I think I have read all of the stories you have posted here. As soon as I saw this in your listing, I started reading it. I enjoyed it so much, I am now awaiting your nexr effort. Thank you for the story.

A nice way to cover for a slut if one could believe it. The murder of her husband seems to have been planned, not by the nut case, but by her and the nut case. The attempt was for the husband to die by bleeding to death while she and the murderer made up their scene. Lie detector test, as any other test, can be manipulated. Want to try, put on a mood ring. It measures by body temperature. Make yourself mad watch the ring, make yourself relax watch the ring, make yourself happy and watch it. Lie detectors detect changes in body chemistry. Stay calm, readings are good. Stay excited thru out, readings are good. After all if you have been planning this since a trip to Germany you have time to get very comfortable with things. No woman in her right mind, after being a victim of a man trying to seduce her, is going to go drinking with him, take him home in her car, and bring him into a house with no one else there unless she expects to have sex with him. The husband is a total mental case, to dumb, and to stupid, to even think about.

and still think you are one of the better writers of cheating wives tales and you never fail to entertain. Thank you.

Well written. I agree with the colleague below that she should never have let the guy come home with her nor into the bedroom and I would still be irritated with her. Also lieing

is not a good sign. I would watch my back! But I enjoyed it tremendously and am not asking for the author to convince me since I am very suspicious!

Have read Alot of Your Story's and am impressed with Everyone So Far .. You kept me on Edge with the Outcome of This Story.

Ty

Curt

KarenKay, you excell in writing of males as wimpy wuss'. You portray every lead male character by projecting your feminist beliefs into his mind and make his behavior as wimpy as possible. I do wish you'd quit writing unless you have a real MAN editing and proofing your stories AND do exactly as HE directs you concerning ANY male character.

I think she fucked this guy while in Germany and possibly when she got home. The woman was shrewd enough to cover her tracks. Her conversation with John at the hospital was disturbing. She didn't sound like a loving wife. Why did she wait so long to call for help? The bitch almost got away with being an accessory to murder. This story left me feeling uneasy. Her husband should be too. I wouldn't believe a fucking thing she said.

kk-obviously she's a liar since in a million cases out of a million the spouse is going to be curious enough about who the hell mentioned to her a heretofore unknown romance to insist on her telling.Or perhaps it's just another nonsensical facet of a mostly intriguing read though needing stitching up.P.S.Off subject-stop making middle America think black dudes dicks are so big.It's a joke which detracts from believability.Ever porked an Italian!!! -pistolpackinliberalpete

sorry, but thats bs. first off, she never should have kissed john, and second, she def should never have let him into her house, when she was alone, when he repeatedly flirted with her. also, what kind of (excuse me for using this language) fucked up person sits there while their loved one slowly dies before calling for help? what might be worse is she went along with his false story, i mean, what would she had done if her husband died or was seriously handicapped as a result of being shot THREE times!? love or not, i dont know how any man ( or woman) could not only forgive her, but take her back.

Think a minute. There lies your husband shot by a friend or coworker. YOur spouse si beathing and bleeding and you dont call 911, you wait with your coworker for the love of your life to die. Had she really been in lovw with her husband she would have fought tooth and nail to call 911. Instead of going in the other room and helping it look like a burglary. She didnt tell who shot her husband. She didnt tell the police he came to the hospital room. She lied about the stein. She didnt tell why she want to know about Sarah or who brought it up. She didnt tell her husband about what went on in Germany. And nowhere in the polygraph questioning did it clearly state she had never had sex with John. Guess what folks would you stay married to this work of art? I sure as hell would not, not even stay in the same town as her. I gave you a fifty for writing well. The plot was interesting but the ending was trash. As someone said, you always make the husband look like a pansy and the wife the cominate one. Well in this one you made her a sub to another man who shot her husband three times and all she did was wait on him to die.

Thank you for a very enjoyable story. You really know how to drag out the suspense without making it boring. Thanks again

Excellent and well measured story, and unlike some of the bitter and twisted arseholes who comment on these stories I like a happy ending

loved it buttttttttttt!!! If she was not involed she would have lost it called 911 and never covered for John. she would have done everything in her power to save her husbands life. I mean she love this man more then life and she covered for the shotter no way.IT may be my cop mind set . BUT IN REAL LIFE WHEN SHE COVERED UP WHAT HAPPENED SHE BECAME A PLAYER IN THE DEED JUST AS John and would have been charge for the cover up

this is really one of your best keep up the great work Larry

too much of this story was sooo far fetched to really enjoy reading it. then he acts like she is blameless and continues on with her. lol she left him bleeding for minutes at the bottom of the stairs to save a guy she supposedly wasnt attracted to yet had already kissed back in germany? my wife better never bring a guy home with her so she can change her top. he shoulda got a ride back with one of the others that were at lunch. he had already made passes at her knowing she was married. just too much to make it a good story. sorry plse try again tho with a lil more attn to the small details.

From a woman's point of view. she took a man she had kissed in a hotel room (If it is all that happened) home when her husband is away and lets him in her bedroom. She surely had no intention to reciting the Rosary with him.

The boyfriend fired 3 shots into her husband and She believes it was accidental , and lets the husband lay bleeding for 9 minutes while they make it look like a rubbery .Probably hoping he would die before help arrives.

she then meets the boyfriend in the hospital to get their story straight .

Too bad he got killed before giving his side of the story .

I would like to tell the husband to not walk but run fast and far away from her , she is probably already planning her next attemp at eliminating him.

This is how i see this as a woman

Fran26

Oh, come on. She was intimately involved with John and is obviously a liar. She was part of the attempt to murder as evident by the lag in calling for help. Story started out very good..ended up with a wimpy and likely cuckolded husband.

The lag in calling the cops was because she was in the closet pea- brain Don't you just hate when people can't read a story correctly

she was serving them up to self-deluded hubby who makes alot of wild assumptions to excuse her - obviously so he can continue to indulge in his favorite dessert

I think Fran26 is right. I think a sient divorce would be a good solution.

He better be a light sleeper. She'll get him the next time. Don't think this author has written in several years. From the tenor of the stories (husband's are wimps or stupid) likely a good thing.

because of a drinking glass. TK U MLJ LV NV

yet you still get idiots, who very obviously haven't understood the long words, or most of the short ones, making stupid comments.

Ah well, talk is cheap.

Thank you very much for an enjoyable read.

You know if I'd read a novel with these elements and this plot (only expanded, of course) I'd have considered it well worth the money.

This series has to be one of the very best on the site! 5 stars, thanks, and kudos!!

a great story....well written....bill

Excellent writing but i hate stories that dont have an ending, like who broke the fucking stein and what it means.

What a story ....poor Sarah. Parker was a wacko and never properly dealt his cold plate. The ending was well written and enjoyable.

No way is a loving wife going to cover for a guy who shot her husband... even if it was an "accident". The fact that she was lying to the police should've gotten her a jail term for obstruction at a minimum. Some people can cheat the lie detector, particularly if they have psychopathic tendencies. Certainly a cheating, murderous wife has a good chance of fitting a psycho profile. Bottom line I don't buy the ending at all. It would've been more believable if the author ended this with a BTB and the guy and his new cop buddy go to Vegas to drink and gamble and check out some professionals. Really, since I think all women are cheating skanks... how could I ever see it ending any other way.

I second the BS comment.

Long winded drivel!

I like the idea of a team of editors re-working this one. Or just rent CCMercury! In addition to those 'where'd the pistol come from?' questions, I have another pistol observation. This was obviously not a weapon which John found in Sweetie's room, or at that house or that would have been determined post haste! But John is a big man and a Manly Man (Gym teacher!) No way in Hell he's going to have a wimpy-ass .32...John would have a .45 ACP (1911A1) or a .44 Magnum...and Hubby would be dead! At the very least a 'Nine!' The 'lady's purse' guns...like .22 rimfire, .25 or .32 COULD kill a dude, especially at that range, but John didn't buy something just to 'slow kill' Hubby!

Besides that, knives are more personal and controllable to prolong death and maximize pain! When you care enough to feel your victim's twitches through the handle!

The timing of Hubby's unexpected arrival and the stained blouse needing replacement is just too improbable! This HAD to be an author's direction shift, where John was regularly porking Sweetie in the early version!

... but shouldn't a premise be, at least, plausible. Let me see if I've got this straight. Hubby's away on business and Parker winds up in her bedroom. Hubby comes home early and is shot THREE times for his trouble and she thinks this is an ACCIDENT. How you can end this story with Nicky, who is obviously either retarded or a cheater, as a faithful, loving wife is beyond ridiculous. I'm sorry but I'm just not able to suspend that much disbelief.

Great story. 5*

of worthlessness

1*

Just didn't care for the ending, my own personal taste, of course.

The one single thing that bothered me the most was that Nicky knew who shot him and didn't tell the police. That in itself is covering up a crime. Punishable my many, many years in prison. By withholding that information, Nicky instantly became a felon.

And if a situation happened like that in MY life? With my wife not telling the police who shot me? Well, lets just say I would be working as hard as possible to see she didn't feel freedom in my lifetime again. ;)

Even as fiction it's a little preposterous. I don't believe her saying she didn't cheat. She's a good liar.

I guess I wasn't looking for a happy ending. Boo hoo fucking hoo.

Damn

... I realize that there has to be a certain amount of suspension of disbelief when reading a story but, come on, this story was ridiculous. Pretty good plot that was completely ruined by just plain stupid characters. How this piece of crap was rated so high is amazing.

When the police shoot they keep shooting until they stop hearing gunshots, that is why so many police shootings involve over 20 shots fired.

And no it does not matter if the shots that they hear are fired by other police.

Hard to buy Nicky being willing to cover for John shooting her husband and letting him nearly bleed out before calling 911 (unless she does not love him)

Re: the previously mentioned comment about holes in the story . . . Nicky actually didn't wait to call 911. The author mentioned that John didn't want her too, but she did anyway. She was placed on hold.

Hard to believe she would cover for the guy? I agree. She has no reason to, unless she actually believed John when he insinuated that the police would charge both of them for murder. That is believable. What is actually hard to believe is that John didn't simply shoot the wife on the spot.

Five stars. An instant favorite. Very well written.

Yes, it was conveniently preposterous. I feared that if Eric found the tape in the kitchen and began to play it, LA would have another earthquake. (HA!) I earlier, after chapter 2, commended the author for his/her attn. to detail. One escaped him/her in this chap. It was VERY unlikely that Tony found the ONE person who, ten years ago, knew where Sarah had moved. HOW? Much more likely that the school records contained her parents' address, phone number, etc.

If she did nothing wrong, why did she commit a crime by lying to the police and protecting the shooter? Pure stupidity? Possibly, but she is a teacher and should be bright enough to know that she was committing a crime and lying to her husband. If she had come clean, it would have bolstered her story about the way it went. She could of gotten a polygraph and the cops would have let her go and gotten the shithead. So, in short she had to be pretty stupid.

Bug Nicky's phone and make her wear a wire so he can monitor every conversation she has when she's out of his sight. Because if she told the truth and she never cheated on him, she's too stupid to be allowed to roam around by herself.

Nicky certainly did not cooperate with the investigation. She is weak willed and weak minded, and cooperated with the man she knew shot her husband. Its one thing to have complexities of characters, this "twist" was just weak writing.

After a very strong buildup - ending was a letdown.

The wife did everything possible to help the man who shot her husband. The idiot husband knows it and is still thinking of staying with her. You people think that's a great story?

Why, if Tony said he’d be at his house in half an hour, didn’t he wait outside for him? Instead, he goes into a pitch black house knowing that a murderer is hunting for him?

BTW, I believe her - she passed the polygraph test, she honestly thought John was telling the truth about the shooting being an accident and believed him that the police wouldn't believe them.

As part of my thus far unbroken resolution (I think) I'm trying to be more positive.

The scene in the darkened kitchen was first rate. You engaged ALL the senses. The smell of whiskey breath, the thrum of the door stopper, the feel of body heat. When our hero was flung away, he did not know exactly what direction he was, so that feeling of being lost stood out.

The first time I read that story, that excellent excellent scene was screaming in my head. It really was a wonderful denoumunt (I don't spell french)

Nicely done.

and that is she waited 8 or 10 minutes while her husband was bleeding to death because the "not her lover" asked her to wait so he could make it look like an accident. Did this seem inappropriate to anyone else? I think the fact that when old John first showed up to work with her all she could do was talk about him is telling and the fact that she kissed him back in Germany was telling, so John thinking that she would give him some pussy had to be a foregone conclusion on his part. That is if what he said to hubby in the blacked out kitchen about fucking her 10 times there in Germany and describing her oral abilities and fucking her for a year weren't the truth designed to rub hubby's nose in it. I think Erik should have researched polygraph testing and who could beat them before he went with that. They are not evidence in court and I would bet that the DA's office wouldn't give them that much credence either. I think that anyone who could have a year long affair without their spouse having any idea about it could beat a polygraph easily.

But the fact that she let herself be talked into waiting to call 911 was the most telling thing and would have been the deal breaker for me. So I am going to have to call RAAC on this one and just say that it was very well written and enjoyable to read. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Good read, my friend. Well written. I always applaud literary risk taking. You invoked literary license in deciding ultimately to betray your initial excellent webbing of the wife. Courageous! You walked on the edge of the literary abyss that insidiously taunts all writers. But we all are usually too cowardly to endanger an assured simplistic climax by reaching for excellence. That old literary license torments all of us. Obviously, you consciously decided to gamble that you could ensnare the wife in the depths of almost hopeless intrigue in the first 1000 words while rationally planning her resurrection in the last 500 words. Most certainly winning that crap shoot makes ordinary word marketing into astounding literature. I've thrown those dice many times, and the jury is still out deciding if I have ever won. Our usual penalty when we lose is the monstrous old anticlimax. When you rewrite this excellent "work in progress," please do not change or mitigate the wife's sporadic indictments. Instead find more ingenious probabilities for saving her. Transition! Transition! Transition! For instance, sublimate the villain's madness, permit the limited drunken adultery and find creative transitions to preserve the marriage. Yes! That will require at least three sub plots. Good character tensions through out. I know! I've done you no favors. Good show.Thanks, Saintosas.

Hit all the beats. Suspenseful, good pacing, and a happy ending. Rare to say the least.

This series is a good yarn. Solid.

Still love it. Still five stars. Very well written. The details were spot on, and I was surprised by the ending.

The story sucked, and the wife should have ended up in prison (if not dead) for her part in the whole thing. There is a broad line between reasonable fiction and stupid

fantasy, and I am afraid this one falls in the "stupid" category. 1 star, better luck next time.

Along with a lie about how her husband got shot is very bad. He said she was bright , but that was plot breakingly stupid.

I loved your story. Don't get discouraged by the negative comments. Some people just want revenge. Literotica needs another category called "Revenge" for those people.

lets hope the answers line up in rows, TK U MLJ LV NV

Wasn't the stein made of pewter and glass a durable metal ? ....well maybe; a glass bottom and partial glass and pewter hinged lid....Good story.....bill

I like these suspense stories, I recently read another one of K.K.'s, "A horse with no name", which I also liked.

This one had a few weak spots though, such as Tony telling Eric to immediately get out of the house in Vegas, then they calmly continued talking on the phone. But I almost screamed near the end after Eric discovered that Parker was in Eric's home. Eric had just managed to feel his way inside when he realizes that Parker is already there, now any sane person would simply try to leave the house again, but not Eric. To handle that situation by confronting Parker, a man he knew had access to a gun, was really foolish, just leave the house and wait for the police!

There was also quite a few mistakes, like "ask" instead of "asked" and words that had lost a letter or words that were missing. Just typos perhaps, but that kind of thing really detracts from a story's appeal.

So next time: a little extra thought when creating the plot, plus some more effort when proofreading it.

Otherwise a good effort!

She lied to the cops and everybody else about the shooting and only came clean when she was caught. A: That's a felony and no mention was made of a plea bargain and B: what fool would take back a woman who lied to the cops to protect the man who tried hard to murder the man we are told she loves? A small C is the lie detector test, which is so easy to fake it's results aren't admissible in court. That last one can be seen as poetic license, but not A and B.

Not one of the 88 previous comments gave any credence to John's rantings in the darkened house. Sure I can follow KK leading us to believe it was simply to lure Eric out but John was awfully detailed in his descriptions.

Let's see, he is convinced that his wife knew who shot him and was hiding the information. He also knew that she watched him bleed on the floor for over 8 minutes before she called 911. So what does he do? He gets her a lawyer??? Absurd!!

... in a story. Only time I’ve seen that in a Literotica story (so far).

Good story too. Thanks.

All in all a very good story. One missing question after John asked if she broke the stein would have been when did she have time to break it. It was upstairs while she was cradling a dying husband!

Great wrapup and as anopther said, good use of an earthquake.

The only gap I see is his “indiference” or “glossing” of the fact that she knew who shot him. If she really believed it was an accident then why not come out with it. She believed truly in their love.

One of the best I have read here.

Great whodunnit really enjoyed the story

Good story, I like it!

Very good story and I completely enjoyed it. I was a little worried about Nici, but it was explained very well. Entire story worked well.

Sorry, but the idiot deserved to die! I didn't care for the attitude he had when being questioned about Sarah, but going HOME after knowing the guy who shot you is actively searching for you?!

He may as well have gone and hidden in the chainsaws...

Other than that Bad Horror Film jump over the shark, great story!

Thank you for the story,(spoiler Alert) just couple of points that i noticed:

I know that the angst is important to any story but it have to make sense otherwise it will just be frustrating and disappointing, the police, the protagonist and the wife acted as a couple of children in kindergarden, for example why hide the story from the husband or why not putting him under protection or why the wife decided to lie if she did not do anything wrong or even why coming back home from vegas while there is a killer out there waiting for you and even if he is that naïve how the police allowed him to do so.

I still enjoyed the story but these points took away from that enjoyment.

It was a good attempt at a crime story but needs more practise. The earthquake wasn't believable but you needed to get him out of Vegas.

I could not get beyond Nicky delaying the call to 911 and lying to the Police to protect Parker. Then she allowed Parker into her husband's hospital room. There's also the question as to who tipped off Parker that the Police were waiting for him when he returned from his trip. Her actions allowed Parker to make a second attempt on her husband's life. She should face charges for filing a false report with the Police and Eric should have dumped her. Her actions do not reflect a loving Wife.