All Comments on 'The Step Daughter Ch. 01'

The only thing about this story that could have been better was that it was too short. Give us more chapters.

After reading this I don't think I would want to have anything to do with a 300 lb stepfather. Fortunately this is only fantasy so I guess anything goes. As such - not a bad write.

The storyline is fine, however, it moves a bit too quickly and with little tact in the beginning. I would also recommend requesting and editor next time to help you with your spelling and misplaced words.

Charlie,

You wrote this as if you were beating off. Slow down, flesh out the story. The story was so jerky and with little substance. A great and probable storyline was ruined by your impatience and lack of creativity.

While you are at it in getting to fuck her in lieu of the payment due to you, perhaps you need to also start making a baby in her womb that she and her hubby can also raise in additional consideration for you.

You didn't say whether or not she and Larry had any kids. Perhaps you need to keep fucking her right through her ovulation period(s) in the future, without birth control, and make a grandchild with her?

Noticing a pattern with the Don guy in all comments to the writers... got a thing for impregnating women eh? ... write your own fantasies if that's what you want. Try limiting your comments to what was actually written, instead of what you personally want written...

As for the story, I enjoyed it. It was definitely written in a hurry... I like the crassness of it all, but it could have been less "rushed".

Look forward to your future chapters.

~ Kaila

This story should be great, but the major overuse of capitals and exclamation marks were too distracting. The story would feel much more professional and read more smoothly if you stuck to single exclamation marks at the END of sentences.

On the plus side the plot is really hot- I'll definitely read on.