The Stigma

***AUTHORS NOTE*** This might be a little different than what you all are used to reading. I wrote this story with a focus on character development. I wanted to give them a solid reason and motivation for the experience they have together. Enjoy the story!

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Standing in front of the bathroom mirror again, I frown at my chubby, naked body. For the next two nights, I'll be in close quarters with two straight guys, and they want to swim in the pool. My heart is pounding at the thought. I have to get my bag packed and be ready for the weekend party, which includes how I plan to deal with the pool situation.

I am conflicted about how I feel, ashamed of my chubby body but thrilled by it. My favorite feature is the heavy cleavage that seems to look right back at me through the mirror. I pull a small box from the countertop and start unraveling the contents: a cheap roll of compression bandage. Quickly and methodically, I wrap my large breasts until they no longer create a distracting shape, the same routine I do every time I leave the house. I can't hide my big belly or love handles, but I can at least partially disguise my man boobs. When the bandaging is done, I dress and go into the bedroom to pack.

There is an almost inescapable stigma related to fat people such as me, and it is quite simple: we're fat because we're gluttonous slobs and don't take care of ourselves. Ask anyone who knows me, you'll find this description to be the exact opposite of who I am. I keep my apartment clean and tidy; I stay active by going on long walks or hikes, I shower every day, and keep myself well groomed. I don't over-eat either, I recall taking a lunch break with my co-worker, Daniel, a skinny, stick-figure guy with hazel eyes and brown hair...not only did he finish off his lunch but my leftovers as well! So even as a kid when I'd get bullied for my weight, I just couldn't understand why people would judge me so harshly. Somewhere along the lines...I don't remember when...I began this morning routine of staring at my gradually expanding body and wrapping my chest with these compression bandages to disguise the distracting shape and gain back some dignity.

Here I am now, at the age of 22, having moved to a new city, and gotten a new job. Over the last six months, I became friends with two lanky, nerdy co-workers, Daniel, the skinny little piggy I told you about, and Raj, an average-sized Indian guy with black hair and milk-chocolate skin. The three of us have a lot of common interests: games, cars, travel, anime, and fine art... yeah, we're all over the place, I know, but it's cool to have people who share your interests. Well, there is one exception: women. Dan and Raj occasionally bring up the subject of women and they soon learned I have an affinity for men only. This didn't bother them, didn't faze them at all; our conversations carried on as usual. Sometimes when they talk a little dirty about gals, I might throw a thing or two in about guys and it's always good for a quick laugh.

I place a final article of clothing in the bag and zip it up. Before I know it, I hear a few honks from a car horn. Raj. I grab my bag and head outside. Both Dan and Raj wave at me through the front windshield as I approach. I get in the back seat. The car drives off.

Dan is in the front passenger seat ahead of me, scrolling feverishly through some articles on the internet, suddenly the phone dims with a red battery icon. His phone died. "Raj?" he asks brushing his curly brown hair away from his forehead, "Can I borrow your phone? I want to finish reading this."

Raj was focused on the road, ducking his head to read the signs that passed overhead, but he absent-mindedly gives permission.

Dan reached for the phone. He already knows the password and proceeds to unlock it and open the internet app. Apparently, Raj has neglected to close his previous tab from earlier today. A video thumbnail displays a fat woman, in full view, touching herself for the camera. I can see the screen from over Dan's shoulder. I don't think he realizes I can see it; he just stares at it. After a long pause, he clears his throat and jokes that Raj has an eye for the large chicks.

Raj looks over as Dan shows him the video thumbnail, "close that out!" he says in a panicked voice, nearly forgetting a turn.

Daniel closes the tab with a chuckle, I know that Dan isn't into large women, at least not usually...but then again, he did linger on the image for quite a while.

Raj is thoroughly embarrassed, rubbing his forehead with his hand. I know he's been single for quite a while, in the half-year I've known him so far, he's been left to the intimate company of his phone and the many busty beauties that performed to the audiences that watched.

Daniel, on the other hand, had freshly broken off a long-term relationship. I don't know much about how it ended but his only comment about it could infer a small number of outcomes. He once said to me, "We had a lot in common, but just not enough."

As for me, well I was in the same boat as them. Maintaining my nautical metaphor, all I have to say is that the relationship was on rough seas, and going it alone seemed like the best option for survival. The three of us didn't need to have a heart-to-heart to understand that we're all in this boat for the same reason, sometimes things just don't work out.

Things really became interesting the other day when Daniel invited us to stay a couple of nights at a house he was watching. His older cousin and her husband went out of town for a brief vacation and asked him to watch the house while they were gone. It's big, and in a nice neighborhood, and I for sure need time away from my life!

We arrive. It's mid-day and indeed it's a big house, at least to me. It has five bedrooms and a massive backyard that overlooks the hills, it's better than anything I've ever lived in. This first night is awesome, we're having a few drinks, we watch a couple of movies, and then play a few games, staying up late into the night just having fun and enjoying a taste of the...how do I put it? The comfier side of life. It's something I desperately need, but as with all good things, the mood comes to an abrupt end when Dan reminds us that he wants to take a dip in the pool. It's a warm night, why not?

The two of them are already on their way out to the backyard. My heart races. I can't just excuse myself from it; it's not a party with twenty people. It's just three of us, and if I back out now, they'll wonder why.

Shyly, I make my way out the back door, watching as they strip down to their boxers and step into the clear blue water. I can't concentrate, things are blurring, and I'm already feeling embarrassed. Hot tension courses through my veins; the thrill of wanting to be rid of that shame and step into the pool! I can feel the bandaging around my chest tighten as I draw each breath, I can't get my shirt wet without revealing the bandages. They would have so many questions. Am I really prepared to discuss this, right here, right now? The bandaging felt as if it was getting tighter.

"Are you coming in?" Raj asks as he glides slowly across the pool, disturbing the glassy surface.

I shake my head, "I don't feel like it, but that's ok, I'll sit over here," I say motioning for the deck chairs.

"Come on, get in! I swear the pool is clean, hardly anyone pees in it." Dan smirks as Raj laughs lightly in disgust.

"Nah, it's ok, I need to check a few emails anyway," I hold up my phone to show them, then I bring it back down, unlocking it with my finger.

"You can't do that in the pool?" Dan raises his eyebrow.

"He's too important for us, Dan."

"Alright," I get up and walk over, removing my shorts with a slight tremor throughout, "I'm getting in the pool." I climb down as far as my knees and sit on one of the steps, feeling the water invade my boxer briefs. I return to toying around on my phone, hoping they're satisfied, but things only become more nerve-racking as I can feel their eyes still on me.

Dan was gripping the side of the pool for stability, "You're not gonna take off your shirt?"

"Come all the way in, get off your phone." Raj is still swimming back and forth.

"That's ok guys, I'm fine."

"Why? Can't you swim?" Dan asks, tilting his head.

Raj says with a chuckle, "We'll teach you!"

I need to think up a quick excuse... "I'm a big guy, and everybody knows, that nobody wants to see this," I motion at my torso. I hope that reminding them they do not want to see a big fat belly will deter them. I remember back to all the times I've heard normal-sized people casually complain about seeing shirtless fat guys in public. Surely, I have the ultimate excuse!

"We don't care!" Raj exclaims.

"Yeah, we don't give a crap what you look like. How often do you get to have a pool all to yourself? You gotta enjoy it!"

The two of them are both very sincere, but will they look at me like some lazy pig when they see my chest? Everyone expects a fat guy to have a belly, that's no surprise, and of course, there's probably some overhanging chest, but my man boobs are very prominent, I dread the inevitable glare of judgmental eyes.

Dan notices my silence and continues, "If it's because you're gay, I swear Raj and I are cool with that, we've never thought differently of you..."

"It's not because I'm gay," I interrupt, I close my eyes momentarily while I sum up the courage to speak, "It's because I'm fat, and I have a rather big chest."

"That's it?" Raj asks, looking rather confounded. "Why would we care about that?"

"Because..." I gulp, "because they're bigger than average for a guy my size, and I'm afraid of getting teased about it. I just didn't really know how to say it to you."

Dan appears concerned and a little puzzled. Have the two of them never considered a situation like this before? I mean, I get it...fat guys have rolls of fat, but these are big tits I'm hiding. Oh hell, maybe it's just a bigger deal in my head than it really should be.

"We're not immature kids," Dan started. "We're not gonna make fun of you, we're all adults." He pauses to think, "if you're not comfortable, that's ok, you can sit there, but if you wanna get in and continue to have a fun time, you're in a safe space, dude. Right, Raj?"

"Of course! I have an uncle who is a big guy, I mean a really big guy, it's normal to have a big chest as well. You couldn't surprise me."

Raj's words really do put things into perspective, it's not like I'm the first fat guy they ever saw.

"Well," I feel again that deep desire to just remove my shirt and be normal, "ok, I'll get in." I pull off my shirt, and I can feel their eyes on the bandage. They ask if I'm injured or something, but I respond, "No, I just keep them wrapped up because...well they're rather big and they kinda look like a woman's breasts, at least a little bit. It gets embarrassing when I'm just walking around, and people notice their shape through my shirt."

As I unravel the wrapping, the thought then occurs to me that this is the first time anyone who has not been romantically involved with me, has ever seen my chest. That's a big deal to me, most guys remove their shirts whenever there's hot weather or when they go swimming. I don't. I never do.

I pull the last layer of the bandage off, and my breasts suddenly expand away from the confines of the wrapping. They jiggle to halt in full view of my friends who stared motionlessly; gaze affixed to my boobs. My chest size is rather more noticeable than the size of my belly. Proportional, yes, but when the eyes pass over me they always stop at my chest first. I myself have noted just how feminine my man boobs appear, I don't have any hair on my chest or belly, so they are both quite smooth. They are symmetrical, round in shape, and tapering gracefully towards the large light-brown nipples into a bulbous bullet shape. The night is warm, and so my nipples are soft and supple at the moment.

The two young men are staring for what seems like an eternity. "That's not so bad," Raj shrugs lightly, not even blinking.

"Yeah, the way you hesitated, I thought maybe there was something seriously wrong like they were deformed or something...they don't look bad," Dan says transfixed on them. I can feel a tickle on the tips of my nipples where his eyes are discreetly fixed.

There's a strange sense of sudden excitement, it's not like I'm nude, but this might as well be the equivalent for me. Dan is right, I suppose when it comes to fat features it could be worse. I'm lucky that as a big man, I have graceful, curvy features. I have one large, round, doughy belly, two big feminine breasts, and no chest hair.

I swim over to them and grip the side of the pool to keep myself upright. The water is lapping at my chest. The two of them are still staring, but it isn't a look of judgment. Instead, it's a look of curiosity. I know the two of them haven't had much experience with girlfriends, they are both quite nerdy and their social circles are mostly made up of men. They never really have much chance to date or play around. And they aren't exactly supermodel men, but I like their slim, non-muscular body type. I kind of enjoy the size contrast between me and them. It's indescribable to someone who isn't into that sort of thing.

"So, you wrap your chest, so no one notices them?" Raj asks, trying to continue the conversation and keep his eyes off my breasts. No doubt they're a distraction in an otherwise normal situation.

"Yeah, when I walk, they jiggle, and people notice that through my shirt. Most people don't care, but some will give a judgmental glance. Others say things. So, I just didn't want people to make fun of me anymore, especially since I can't get rid of them."

"Don't be ashamed," Raj spoke softly.

"Yeah, people are such assholes, that's not really fair to treat you like that," Dan says as Raj floats to the corner between us. "Everyone's body looks different. And you really have nothing you need to hide, they look nice...well, I mean that there's nothing wrong with them."

"It can't be so bad," Raj agrees, "I'm sure you've had boyfriends who liked them, right? It's like they say, there's someone out there for everyone."

"Well, I've had two boyfriends so far," I begin, "the first one actually liked them, he would grab them with both hands and play with them. That's when I realized I really liked that sort of thing because I have sensitive nipples." I can see I have their full attention. I am consciously volunteering extra information as I probe the boundary. "My second boyfriend didn't really care, I always hoped he would touch them and play with them, but he never did."

Dan takes the bait, "When you say sensitive, how do you mean sensitive? I'm sorry if I'm asking something awkward...I'm just wondering." I notice that every time I speak, he tries to glance down at my nipples; he does so whenever he thinks I'm not looking.

"It's ok, I mean I've never really openly discussed this with friends. Well, I suppose what I mean by 'sensitive' is that if I play with them, sometimes I'll cum, just from doing that. It's kind of another little secret of mine."

"I saw a video once where this girl had orgasmed when a guy was playing with her tits," Raj said, breathing heavily now. He briefly flashes that same kind of curious expression that Dan has, but he wipes it from his face, trying to appear expressionless.

"Yeah, that's like me," I confirm quickly. I didn't even realize the two of them have both gotten closer to me during our conversation. They want a clear view; up close.

We live in a world that is becoming increasingly more separated from physical contact. I get the sense that they aren't bothered by the fact that I'm a fat gay man. At this moment of heat and tension, I'm just a living person who happens to have two large, smooth symmetrical breasts. And the two men who stare longingly at them need more than just a view.

Dan asks if I ever measured my breast cup size, and as he did, Raj takes one more glance at my boobs and then pretends to casually turn around to face the edge of the pool and reach for his cell phone. As I respond to Dan, Raj goes through his read messages, pulling the phone closer to him. His elbow and forearm brush across my right nipple, my favorite one. His touch sends a surge of tingles through my body, I was so distracted by the exposure of my boobs, I hadn't realized my dick is rock hard. Thankfully Dan and Raj don't notice that yet.

Raj thinks he is so clever, he's now swiping up and down on his phone, his hairy arm rubbing across my nipple, lifting my breast and pushing it around. I pretend not to notice, I finish explaining to Dan that I've never measured my cup size, and then his eyes grow wide when he sees what Raj is doing to me. But Dan says nothing, he only watches; his Adam's apple bouncing with a heavy gulp. Raj puts down his phone and looks over to see my nipple inside the crook of his elbow. Pretending it was all an accident, he slowly turns around and apologizes sheepishly.

"It's ok." Dare I go further...dare I say what I want to say? "It actually felt good." Oh shit, I said it, there's no going back now. Dear God...

Dan is slowly moving closer, trying not to make it too apparent. This situation is new to all of us, and the poor guys don't know what to do or say next, all they know is what they want. And what they want is to feel good. Dan props his arm up on Raj's shoulder, looking curiously into my eyes and casually asking, "So...do they feel like actual women's tits?"

My heart is pounding, and my cock is harder than ever. You could cut the tension between the three of us with a knife. I don't know whether they want to keep up with this charade of innocent questioning, or if they want me to spare them a way out of the moment. All I know is what I want, and what I want is for them to touch me. With a wavering voice, I say, "I don't know maybe...you could tell me?"

They both appear shocked; I can't read their intentions. Have I gone too far? Are they disgusted now? Their look of shock turns to fear, but again Raj is the first to make a move.

Raj opens his hand and extends it out towards me. Happening almost in slow motion, my eyes follow his fingertips around the circumference of my breast. Fingertips only, he gives it a soft and thoughtful squeeze, "yes, they do." He doesn't let go, he's still admiring the supple flesh in his hand, and then suddenly decides to surrender to his desire. The whole palm grips my breast, which squeezes out between his fingers. It's so big he can't grab the whole thing; this excites him more. Perhaps he's pretending that I'm one of those large, curvy girls in his porn feed. His hand is now cupping the bottom of my boob, the thumb rubbing against my large nipple; gently, deliberately.

Daniel's expression reads like that of a conscious sinner, or maybe that of a nervous liar. While he appears to reject what he sees, his fingers, however, are fidgeting with anticipation. Perhaps he doesn't know what to make of the situation. At last, he reaches out with his shaky hand, taking my left breast into his firm grasp, putting aside his preconceived convictions, and forging a new resolve. He begins rubbing over it with his palm, softly squeezing and deforming its shape as his curiosity guides him.

As Raj uses his fingertip to rub my bulbous teat, he notices that the nipple itself is almost the same width as his finger. Dan is rubbing the other areola with his whole hand, and I can see that three of his fingers are enough to cover it from view.

The unbelievable sensation of their hands handling me is everything I ever wanted. A rush courses through me. There is a sense of danger I feel as I give myself over to the men I know, men I never before considered intimately.