by estragon
As always, I am glad to read your writing and enjoy your wit.
April
Very funny. :) And so far, to my knowledge, I haven't had anything stolen, but no matter -- well done, sir. :)
from my quibbles, I here and now quibble myself:
As a prank, the next evening, she hacked into the United States Military Academy's website, and flunked Robert E. Lee and Douglas MacArthur in basic mathematics, and gave them record numbers of demerits.|One “and” too many. Should be: As a prank, the next evening, she hacked into the United States Military Academy's website, flunked Robert E. Lee and Douglas MacArthur in basic mathematics, and gave them record numbers of demerits.
Meili's prowess assured her of her continued use of the apartment|Too many “her”s. Should be: Meili's prowess assured her continued use of the apartment
General Commanding
that anyone caught trying|I must assume the line-break is a formatting error.
he soon found out that private soldier's bunk|Unless you’re trying a pointless dialect joke, which would be utterly out of place here, should be: he soon found out that a private soldier's bunk
satisfaction of the entrance exams|Don’t you mean “entrance requirements”, not “exams”? One satisfies requirements, and passes exams.
Our Nations' Capital.|Not unless we have more than “One Nation, under God”, old chappie. Singular form takes apostrophe “s”, thus: Our Nation’s Capital.
anything, you homophobic bitch.|I know you’re changing focus here, but it’s too abrupt. Better cut “you homophobic bitch” here, and save it for the dialogue with the Colonel.
The adventure continued.|If you mean “The adventure continues”, i.e., that this is chapter one of a longer series, say so. If you mean to leave us hanging, this is a particularly lame way of doing it.
See, I told you no one is exempt from my quibbles.
I did notice some stories go missing, but i just assumed the author took them down.Obviously, that wouldn't have been a very interesting story for you to write.
Good read.
From the Associated Press, December 12, 2011: "WASHINGTON -U.S. cybersecurity analysts and experts say as few as 12 different Chinese groups, largely backed or directed by the government there, commit most of the China-based cyberattacks stealing critical data from U.S. companies and government agencies.
"The aggressive, but stealthy attacks, which steal billions of dollars in intellectual property and data, often carry distinct signatures allowing U.S. officials to link them to certain hacker teams. And, analysts say the U.S. often gives the attackers unique names or numbers, and at times can tell where the hackers are and even who they may be."
Is there a real Huang Meili and a real Jo Cumming?
Why didn’t you let us vote? A 5***** for sure. Thanks, I needed a smile today.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/confidential-report-lists-us-weapons-system-designs-compromised-by-chinese-cyberspies/2013/05/27/a42c3e1c-c2dd-11e2-8c3b-0b5e9247e8ca_story.html