by DBs_Bro
wheres ch 06!
write/submit faster damnit!
Dont take it as an insult either, im fucking hooked!
why is it so damn short make the chapters longer plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
1. AMAZING story. You're a fantastic writer all-around (including the hotter scenes). I really like the mystery behing Lyden. I also think you've done well with the amount of conflict in this story, as well as the new conflict in Brooke.
2. My only complaint is that the pacing is a liiiiiittle fast; just try to flesh some more storyline. Remember, it's better to wait for one good, long chapter, than three quick shitty ones (not that you've had any bad chapters yet). I also love what you did with the whole 'queen of fire' thing, but be careful that you don't make too many of his conflicts fuckable.
3. I'm really curious as to the direction that you're taking us, which is a sign of a great story. I like that you're leading us, instead of just telling us the endgame. Personally, I hope that he takes the bitch down (or subjugates her) and becomes master of the fire realm, but that may be a bit ambitious for this early in the story. Maybe he makes his own realm? I don't know, but I love it! Keep up the great work!
Umm, what the heck is a generator (besides a energy production unit)? The only theory I can come up with is a being that is basically a parasite, able to leach energy out of any being it is able to have relations with, like sucumbi/incumbi with humans (once the orgasem of their prey occurs, they leach the life force and the being's soul till there is nothing left) except this one is able to do it with other supernatural beings. Even I am unsure how that this was able to occur, but one thing is for certain, having one under your control gives you a key tactical advantage over your opponents. By the way, is it possible for you to publish a map of the land or a list of each the piller's names and the domain they control?
so he was dominant till he meet her kinda like bleach lmao. a generator meaning once he was in contact with demon he became demon i suppose then so he became a succubus inside her world. or something of that affect. damn cool how this is unfolding. u damn good at this stuff
Indeed this is totally fist rank. You have revealed your self to one of the greatest. I pray your work continues to mature both in structure and in grace.
If her energy allowed him to be free of her spell then why did he play along and let her put another spell on him?
Further when Angela has been detained and could very well be injured/killed due to this....
He cannot break the spell and fall right back into the same damn spell after he had a second wave of energy flow into him. The paralysis spell should be weak after that, since he was able to break it when he received the first wave of energy. Come on man