by DBs_Bro
Well DB I think you and Garbonzo are doing fantastic . As a fan I'm qualified to make that statement . A GR8 editor is invaluable . But these are your works , creations , worlds , characters . The brains and teller of the tale . One very awesome tale for sure . So thank you .
I do have to wonder a little . Every so often there is a small mention of of a bit of jealousy from Lyden when another man looks adoringly at one of the girls . That just seems so out of place to me . The same as when you mention one of the girls with slight jealousy of one of the girls . I feel like this group is above that . Not necessary . Even though it has been minimal and unfounded . And I know that is a very real emotion . And appropriate in some stories . It is your story though . It just feels off in this one .
I am thoroughly enjoying every minute of this tale . So Kudo's my man .
Just going to leave a comment here to let you know how much your work is apreciated. Thanks bro!
Probably 3rd or 4th read of whole story-Great! Will keep checking for more.
Awesome story so far, cant wait for the next chapters, and the sequel. Yes that's right people a sequel, WOHOO!
JC
You started meh, and you've been growing steadily.
I see your writing style hammering out and the flagging in it has gotten less.
I appreciate how you're endeavouring to keep a sense of humanity and weakness to the hero, trying to prevent him from being a mary sue.
Good job thus far.
well you wanted comments here it is was one of the best stories iv,e read.I found myself fast forwarding through a lot of the sex just to get to the story I hope there is more in the future. good job
lisas back teeheehee well kinda 3;) and onidine grrr and allora hmmmmm just keeps getting better you guys rock
the way I hoped you will bring back Lisa...