The Sunshine Project Pt. 10

"Shit... Well there's no putting that back now."

I unfold the letter carefully and try to keep it flat while I read it. It's from Gus. It's so sappy and sentimental. He never spoke to me that way, and I was nice to him. It irritates me that he liked her so much when she wasn't even his blood. I keep reading through the letter about some key for the treasure in the barn--which is obviously the car that Glenda and Dean pushed out of there before the will reading. There's nothing interesting for me here, and the more I read the personal thoughts of an aging man for his not-granddaughter the more frustrated I become.

I fold the letter again without reading the last paragraph, and I hear the bedroom door upstairs creak open. Shit, Jess is awake now, and she'll see me snooping through her mail. I shove it down the crack of the couch where the key fell and push the envelope into the side crack. When she starts down the stairs I plop down and lean back as if I were waiting for her. I don't normally care about shit like this, but she's literally four times my size. She could sit on me and that would be the end.

"Oh, hey," she mumbles, yawning as she passes me as if it's the most natural thing in the world. She never locked me up, didn't make sure the front door was locked either. Jess must be getting used to me being here.

"Uh..." I scoot to the edge of the couch and watch her head straight for the coffee maker. She looks down at the full K-cup and I watch her shoulders fall. She picks it up and throws it out before washing her hands and making coffee. She's not acting like herself. I wonder if she's hungover--physically or emotionally. She seems to not even care that I'm here or that I'm free.

"Coffee?" she asks, and I turn and slide off the couch and join her in the kitchen.

"Yes, please." I stare up at the bar and sigh. I hate being this small and being helpless. Being dependent on someone is painful. I have to wait on her to get me food and lift me up, and wash my clothes.

On the other hand, being small like this has been okay. I have nowhere else to go, except to live in my car, which I can't do come winter. It will be too cold to live in a convertible. So being here has actually been a godsend, if you believe in that sort of shit. I've had a bed to sleep in--well a hamper, but who's counting? And I've had free meals; who would complain?

"Jess..."

"Oh, yeah." She turns and picks me up and when she sets me down on the counter I walk over next to the coffee maker. When it's done filling her cup she pours a bit into a shot glass and douses it with cream, adding a pinch of sugar. She has this thing down already, and it's been a week.

"Thanks," I mumble, picking up the hot glass. I walk a few steps away and sit down. Jess looks tired as she sips her coffee and yawns. She looks sad too, really sad, like she's lost her best friend. I know she lost Gus and he was special to her, but this isn't the same look she had at the funeral. This one is different, as if compounded somehow. Did her and Allie have a fight or something?

"Everything okay?" I ask, tipping the shot glass up to sip the hot brew. It's perfect; how does she do that?

"No, I don't really want to talk about it." Jess rakes a hand through her messy hair and says, "Allie'll be here soon. We need to go care for Jackson."

My mind instantly flits to the letter from Gus. She may need that key, but how do I tell her it's buried in the couch, and honestly why am I starting to even care so much? Are these people wearing me down?

"Hmm... Well I suppose getting out would be nice. I've been cooped up all week."

"Oh, you're not going," she says dryly, eyeing me over the rim of her coffee mug.

"Ugh, why not? You can't just leave me locked in a basket the whole time you're gone. You were nice to me last night. Why are you being a bitch now?" I want to scream and walk right out of this place, but where would I go? Who would believe me anyway?

Jess sighs and looks down at me for a second. "I'm sorry, Cora. I had a bad night. I appreciate you trying to encourage me last night. I'll try to convince Allie to bring you along."

I open my mouth to speak but the front door opens up, and Allie walks in. I can see her from where I sit on the bar, but Jess remains out of view. I watch her face fall; then she rubs her forehead, and just as Allie rounds the corner and says, "Morning," Jess puts on a smile.

"Hey, Al. Sleep okay last night?" It's like night and day. Jess went from being mopey and sad to happy and bubbly like normal, and now I know something went down between them.

"Uh, yeah... After I finally forced Beck to leave around four a.m. She insisted she stay until I was sober so I was safe. Annoying." Allie walks right up to Jess's coffee pot and puts a new K-cup into it, then grabs a mug from the cupboard and puts it under the spout.

Jess rolls her eyes at the mention of Beck--must be one of their friends--and I see her eyes flash with something. Anger maybe? She looks like she wants to say something, but I see her bite her lip, so I ask, "Who's Beck?"

Allie turns to me, but I watch Jess's reactions. "She's a coworker. She came for girls night last night, drove me home so I had to Uber here." Allie seems friendly enough this morning, but Jess seems to loathe whoever this Beck person is.

"Ah..." I am totally uninterested in anything Allie has to say, but I'm fascinated by Jess's reactions. The fact that she changes her expression to make Allie think she's feeling differently than she is intrigues me.

"So, did you sleep okay?" Allie turns back to Jess before Jess has the chance to change her expression back to her phony smile and catches her a second too soon. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Jess plasters on the fake smile again, but Allie reaches out and touches her forehead, rubbing the creases away. "Don't fake being okay. Are you upset about last night?"

Oh God, it's like I got the front row seat to the show. I hug the shot glass to my chest and watch the two interact like it's one of those TV soap operas where the woman dies and comes back to life twelve times.

"Just had a bad dream when I woke up..." Jess's grimace is pretty convincing--if I didn't know she was miserable about last night. Allie hurt her pretty badly and something tells me it has to do with their friend Beck.

"Oh babe... not again..." Allie's arms are around Jess in a split second, and now I'm really interested. What on earth could be so alarming that Allie has this response to Jess having a bad dream. "You need to talk about it?"

Jess squirms for a moment but relaxes and shrugs a shoulder. "Same old dream. That's all."

I feel like an outsider now. They've some inner knowledge of each other I'm dying to know. So I just ask. "What dream? Tell me." Jess narrows her eyes at me and purses her lips. I can tell she's either trying to manipulate Allie, or she's trying to find a convincing reason why she'd be upset. Either way, she's not being truthful with her best friend about how she's feeling, and I like stirring things up a little.

"You don't have to, Jess." Allie backs away and holds Jess at arm's length for a second until the coffee machine hisses, indicating it's done brewing. I raise an eyebrow at Jess. I know a secret that she doesn't want Allie to know about--that she cried herself to sleep.

"Is that why you were crying last night?" I ask, smirking. Allie isn't looking at me, but Jess gets the point.

"Uh, well..." Jess glances at Allie then frowns. Part of me feels like it's a genuine emotion I'm seeing, but after the show she's been putting on, I can't really tell. She leans against the counter as Allie stirs up her coffee and sighs. "I have a recurring nightmare of what my stepdad did to me."

"Wait, Uncle Jimmy?" Is she really doing this? Lying about him still? She's convinced her best friend that he was some horrible person and that she's suffering still to this day? It was eight years ago.

Allie turns around and glares at me. She knows as well as I do how fake this is. Or maybe she doesn't. Maybe she believes Jess is telling the truth. Just like she believes right now that Jess's emotions are really about a bad dream and not about Beck and whatever happened.

"Yeah, him..." Jess acts disgusted, as if she doesn't even want to say his name, but she continues. "I don't ever really see his face in the dream, but it's always the same thing. He touches me, makes me feel things, says nasty things to me. Then he hurts me... The belt and his--"

"Jess, enough," Allie interrupts. "You don't have to."

"No, Jess, you do." I stand and stare at her, still hugging my little shot-glass coffee. "Because I've heard you've been lying about this for years, so explain why you were crying again." I'm sick of her defaming my uncle. She's such a manipulative bitch.

Jess glares at me hatefully and moves closer, and I cower. "You don't know a fucking thing, Cora. He raped me, okay? For months... Every night. Sometimes it came with beatings; sometimes he burned me with his fucking cigar. Always while Mom was gone. And I never lied about that. I told the truth. Fuck, he's the fucking reason I'm a lesbian."

Allie is there instantly, ready to defend Jess as usual. She takes my coffee away and tosses the shot glass into the sink, then grips me around the waist without asking. "You're going in the hamper." Allie moves away from the kitchen, down the hall toward the laundry room, and I pound her fingers.

"Let me go, you bitch. You have no clue what she's doing. She's lying to you. She cried all fucking night..." I try to protest, but she drops me in the hamper and puts the lid on it. Then she sets the toolbox on top and takes Shep and leaves. "Goddammit!" I scream, gripping the rim of the hamper near the handle where I can see out.

This fucking sucks. Even when I try to help Allie, she's still a bitch.

"I want different clothes," I pout, sinking into the dirty laundry. At least I'm in the right place for my soiled outfit.

Chapter 30

Beck

My morning routine doesn't change, not even after a night like last night. Up at seven a.m.--two hours of sleep is enough, right?--out the door for a run, home for squats and pushups, then shower and breakfast by ten. I've had more than one sleepless night, and this time is no different. If it helps me get a little closer to moving Jess away from Allie I'll do it, no matter what it is.

The coffee tastes burnt, the eggs a little chewy, but I am lost in thought anyway. Jess played the part so well last night. When it comes to Allie, Jess is so easy to read. She's jealous and insecure. I see how she feels about her best friend because she wears her heart on her sleeve. I don't like it, because if I see it, it won't be long before Allie sees it, and I can't have that.

Just thinking of Allie makes me want to call her. She refused to go to sleep and let me lock up when I left, which angered me more than I showed her, but she had no way of getting back to Jess's house so late short of Ubering, and I cloned her phone to mine. She didn't Uber until this morning, which only just happened. She's at Jess's house now, but I don't see them doing anything fun so early in the morning anyway.

If it were me, I'd be eating her awake--Allie that is. Oh fuck, little Bug, you'd taste so good for breakfast, spread wide and doused in honey. The thought sends a wave of arousal through my groin. I wonder what she's doing this afternoon. Maybe I can convince her to drive down to Dayton and have a picnic at the park again. Only, this time she will be lunch.

I pick up my phone and press her contact info and the phone dials through. I sit back on my chair and prop my feet up while I watch the headlines scroll on the tickertape below the morning talk show host. It rings through several times, and I think I'm going to be sent to voicemail, but she answers.

"Hey, Beck... Glad you got home safe."

"Morning, Beautiful Allie Bug." Do you like my little nickname for you?

"Awe..." she coos, and I can hear her smile.

"Listen, I was thinking of what we'll eat for lunch. Do you like pimento? Never mind, of course you do. Be at my place at eleven, and we'll head to Cox again." My fingernails drum the white linen tablecloth while I listen to her hum hawing.

"Uh, well, Beck... I..."

"No pimento then... Okay, ham loaf."

"No, Beck, I just have plans. Jess and I have to go to her barn and take care of her horse, and after that we were going to go out or something."

I bet you're standing there biting your lip, aren't you, Bug? You think this is optional? You haven't learned yet that you're mine. Don't worry; I'll teach you.

"Oh, well I already reserved a shelter house, and I can't get the deposit back. I thought we could talk more about Jess's property issue. I also wanted to ask you about the shrink ray thing. I talked to a friend of mine who said he knew about TOP SECRET science stuff from Wright Patt." I'm playing every angle because short of driving all the way back to Celina and picking her up, I have no way of getting her here.

"That sounds amazing, but I really have to help Jess with the horse. I'm sorry. Maybe next weekend, okay? I have to go. Bye." Allie hangs up on me before I can respond and I shake my head and laugh in anger.

You really are a little manipulative bitch, aren't you, Jess? You better keep your nasty fist off my Allie Bug or you're going to learn a lesson too. Maybe I'll use that shrink ray on you to make you vanish easily.

I lock my phone and lay it on my table and stare at my cold eggs. I'm not even hungry anymore. I had my whole day planned around Allie, and I could still drive up there and get her, but if she's not at Jess's house or her apartment, I wouldn't begin to know where to look for her. It's not like I'm from around there, and I know nothing about the town.

For ten minutes I sit and brood, trying to think of a way to make Allie come to Dayton instead of spending the day with Jess. I can't. There is no logical reason outside of a work emergency which she never has to deal with. I'm the one who has to handle those things. I can call and make up something, but she won't believe me now. Even if she did, I would only seem manipulative to her, if I had no true problem by the time she got here.

I pick up my phone and stalk to the bedroom. If I can't have her, I may as well self-pleasure. It'll at least take the edge off until I can decide what to do with my day. I drop my phone on the bed and walk to my closet to pull out a few toys when the doorbell rings. Just what I need, an interruption. I have a mind to ignore it, but whoever it is starts banging on the door.

"Fuck's sake," I say with dildo in hand. Hmm, dildo is about the size you were when you were tiny, Bug. I'd shrink you again...

I walk right to the door and open it and there stands Kirk with a smirk on his face the instant he sees my dildo. "Did I interrupt?"

"Yes, what do you want?" I scowl at him and tuck the dildo under my armpit and wait for him to answer. He smells good, like the night of his bach party--musky cologne and stale beer. He's been up all night drinking again, a sure sign there's trouble in paradise. I don't blame him. Babies and toddlers are the worst, the reason I've been avoiding the opposite sex for a while after a pregnancy scare.

"Can I come in?"

"Uh..." I look down at the dildo tucked under my arm.

"It'll be quick."

My shoulders sag, but I step back and allow him entrance. He walks past me into my loft. It's a one-bedroom open concept with all the most modern features. White and black furniture decorate the space with accents of yellow and green. I feel it matches my personality well.

I close the door but don't move away from it. I want this to be as quick as possible because I want him out. "So what is it?"

Kirk walks around my white leather sofa for a second, dragging a dirty hand across the back of it before sitting down. His black jeans and tailored shirt are wrinkled, maybe from sleeping in his truck. His face is stubbled too. I remember a time when I used to love that look. Might have actually married him at some point if we were lonely for long enough, but he moved on, and so have I.

"I talked to a friend who works at the base. They've heard of the technology you told me about, but they couldn't read me in." Kirk's arms stretch out across the back of the couch in a casual posture, and something tells me this is going to take longer than a "quick" minute. Of course they've heard of it because I wasn't lying.

What's your game here, Kirk? What are you really trying to do?

"I told you I wasn't lying." I cross my arms over my chest and tap my foot. "What do you need to say?" I notice my plate of cold, half-eaten eggs on the table. I left them sit; how did I do that? I was so frustrated over Allie that I left my own fucking dirty dishes like a slob. You're such a bad influence Jess. You're even rubbing off on me.

"It'll cost ya." Kirk wags his eyebrows twice and pats the cushion. He's going to try to bribe me to have sex with him. I roll my eyes. I haven't had dick in months, more than a year maybe. I really am not in the mood to barter with my body.

"Just tell me."

"Fine," he says, leaning forward. "I can get you a meeting with the guy if you want."

He'll set up a meeting with a man who knows something of the technology in that girl's possession? How valuable would that be? If I knew more about it, maybe I could do more to make your friend safe. He says, if your friend really does have this, she's breaking so many laws. They were top secret."

Oh shit, that alone makes me want to jump on his dick just to hear more. "Keep talking." I step toward him, laying the dildo on the end table. "I need more information."

"Hmmm... Looks like I have you where I want you." Kirk smirks again and pats the cushion.

"You really won't tell me unless I fuck you? What about your wife?" I glower at him. We were good together, and the sex was good, but I'm not one for selling my body for favors. At least, not now that I have Allie Bug.

"She'll never know. Thinks I'm pulling a double. Besides, the kids have been sick. She's too busy playing mom to take care of me. And when you called me, well I got an itch I can't scratch, if you know what I mean..." He splays his hands across his groin in a diamond shape and press down. His dick is hard. Fuck's sake.

"And you'll set me up with your friend? He'll help me get that woman away from my girlfriend?" I internally groan as I think of fucking him. I like him; he's a friend, but I prefer Allie.

"You bet your sexy fucking ass... Now come fuck me, and you'll remember how good we are." He starts to unzip his pants, and I relent.

"Under one condition..."

"What's that?" he asks.

"You don't make a fucking sound." I'll just pretend you're wearing that sexy strap on I saw in your bedside table when you used the toilet last night, Allie Bug.

Chapter 31

Allie

My gaze flicks to the elevator doors--my salvation--and I feel my muscles tightening. I'm about sick of Beck's bossy behavior. It's as if she thinks she owns me or something simply because we had one lunch date, dinner as friends, and a girls' night with benefits. Come to think of it, she's acted possessively since after that first lunch. It's not okay, and I'm not okay with it. But if I piss her off, she knows too much. We need to get rid of the guns to some place safe and make it so she has nothing over us.

"Well, I've already made the reservation, so that's final. Can't get my deposit back." She has a calm face, but she's anything but calm. I see the way her chest pounds. We're at work though. She won't make a scene here. At least, I hope she won't. It's just how she responds when I try to tell her how it's actually going to be, and she goes home alone and has all the time in the world to go to the cops about Jess's shrink ray. It terrifies the fuck out of me. Especially because Beck has already said something to one of her friends.